


Halcyon Days

by Foreverwholockedme



Category: Red Dead Redemption (Video Games)
Genre: Abusive Relationships, Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Arthur Morgan is a stoner in this story, Arthur is pretty much John's dad, Bisexual Arthur Morgan, Child Abuse, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Eventual Relationships, Eventual Smut, Frottage, Gen, Gentle Sex, Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mutual Masturbation, Mutual Pining, Pining Arthur, Protective Arthur, Protective Siblings, Recovery, Rimming, Rough Sex, Slow Build, Teen Arthur Morgan, Teen Crush, Teen Romance, Unrequited Crush, Voyeurism, Young Arthur Morgan, Young Dutch van der Linde, Young John Marston, young hosea
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-04
Updated: 2020-03-27
Packaged: 2020-04-07 22:24:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 43
Words: 109,777
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19094275
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Foreverwholockedme/pseuds/Foreverwholockedme
Summary: Arthur is burdened with a lot for an eighteen year old. He has to raise his little brother John Marston and provide for the house. He'd known Charles since grade school, but never as more than an acquaintance. Now that he lives next to him and can fully see just what Arthur has to put up with, he tries to help him every step of the way and help resume the personal life that he'd been force to put on hold.A story about the summer Charles and Arthur truly met for the first time.





	1. Chapter 1

“John!” 

Arthur raised his hand high up in the air and waved as he flagged down his little brother. This wasn’t the first time he picked John up from school, and it wouldn’t be the last, but he was always relieved whenever he saw his black-haired brother parting from the swarm of middle school kids also searching for their rides home. He came running over to him with a piece of paper flapping in his hand. Arthur figured that he didn’t smile much but the sight of John happy was contagious. John skidded to a halt in front of his brother and immediately held the paper out to him. Arthur read it, feeling a bit self-conscious about his reading skills while he did so. 

“Detention again, John?” 

“I had to go to the bathroom and Miss Grimshaw said no, so I left!” 

Arthur sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. He looked around at the other students who were matched up to their families. Something in his heart twinged when he saw the smiling parents eager to pick up their children. He looked back at John, who had his head down and his arms crossed. 

“When is it?” Arthur found himself asking this question too many times to count and at this point it felt more like reciting a line from a script. 

“Tomorrow at three. I don’t get out till three-thirty though.” 

Arthur put both his hands on his hips and looked down at the unruly eleven-year-old, trying to think of something else to say but sparing John the embarrassment of being scolded in front of the rest of his school. It also wasn’t like Arthur was much older than him anyway. He was eighteen, to the other parents it would look like a kid yelling at another kid. Besides, John doesn’t listen or respond well to lectures and he’ll just do it again anyway. It wasn’t the first time and it certainly won’t be the last, if John had his way. Arthur just sniffed and ruffled John’s hair. John looked up at him and Arthur gave him a small smile. 

“Now get in the car.”

And like the gremlin he is, he launched himself in the car as soon as Arthur opened the door for him. He went in through the backseat but he would definitely end up in the passenger by the time the ride was over. Arthur pulled off and the first three minutes of the ride was spent in silence, with just the sound of the radio lowly playing some country music. 

“Are you mad at me?” 

Arthur’s eyes flicked up into John’s through the rearview mirror for a brief second before they were back on the road. He wanted to give off that he was angry but Arthur already knew and John’s question confirmed that he was nervous more than anything. He shook his head. 

“No, I ain’t.” 

“Really?” 

“Nah. The way I figure it, there was worst things you could have done.” 

“Like piss on her floor!” 

“Watch your mouth, boy!”

John huffed and rolled his eyes. Arthur made a turn and chuckled. 

“But yes. Now come up from back there and talk to me!” 

John perked up at that and there went that tired smile across Arthur’s face again. In a flash John was scrambling into the passenger seat, his book-bag thrown on the floor in the back in his haste. Arthur’s chuckle turned into a full laugh at the sight. The radio was promptly drowned out by John’s enthusiastic retelling of his day. Apparently he was a rock star to his friends after that incident. Listening to John’s day always helped calm Arthur’s nerves a bit while he drove back to their house. He never knew what state their father was in when he came back from picking John up. But so long as John was smiling, he guessed he could find a reason to as well. He made another turn, hands gripping the wheel a bit tighter realizing that he was very close to home. He felt even worse when he saw a police car parked in front of their house. It was the least nicest one on the block. It looked almost like a house where a family could live decently, but all of their neighbors, and the ones that lived in it knew that was far from the truth. He was surprised that they were still able to live in the area. It wasn’t fancy like the suburbs, and it was a step below a cul-de-sac, but it was a ring of homes and Arthur could pretend sometimes that he really did live in a nice suburban home. But he was in a knock-off one because his family was poor, his dad paid the bills just fine but the rest of his money went to drinking, women, and drugs. Arthur worked at a McDonald’s drive-thru and whatever money he earned went solely to John and himself, and the upkeep of the house. 

John stopped talking and Arthur knew that their quiet before the storm was over. He got out the car first and John followed after him. The cop was knocking hard on his door, seemingly waiting there for a while. 

“Is there something you need, officer?” 

The officer looked him up and down before giving him that usual stare like Arthur was beneath him. He was sure by now that his house was the talk of the police station with how many times their dad got busted for belligerence.

“Are you Lyle Morgan’s boy?” 

“I’m the oldest one, sure. John’s the youngest.” 

The other cop muttered something like, “That you know of” under his breath and chuckled to himself. Arthur’s fist coiled but he was able to steady his hand. The cop banging on the door just walked over to his car and opened the door. His father lolled out of the backseat, passed out from another night of heavy drinking. Arthur looked around and saw that some of the neighbors were watching the scene unfold and even though he knew that this was nothing new and they were as used to it as he was, it was still mortifying and painful to have to go through it. The boys watched as the cop swung Lyle’s arm around his neck and dragged him to the front of the house. Arthur quickly moved to unlock it and the cop threw Lyle to the floor like he was a ragdoll before stepping back out of the house. 

“Son, I’m sure you know what to do from here.” The cop said. Arthur, embarrassed into muteness nodded and watched the two lawmen go back to their car and drive away. When they were gone and the prying eyes of nosy neighbors went away, Arthur looked over at John and mustering the best smile he could, motioned for his little brother to go in first. He hated at how silent John would get when things like this happened. He kicked his dad’s limp feet the rest of the way into the house and moved to close the door when he caught eyes with Charles. 

Charles and Arthur are the same age, and they were in the same classes each time, on account of the town being small. They never really talked much, not even after he learned that Charles lived across the street from him since first grade. And it’s not like they would have had time to chat in high school, Arthur dropped out sophomore year to take care of John. He was playing with his dog, Copper in the yard and no doubt saw Lyle’s arrival. He was in the middle of wrestling the Frisbee from the dog when they clapped eyes on the each other. Arthur was glad that he couldn’t see the brimming tears in his eyes. Charles smiled and it made Arthur feel warm. He waved at him, Arthur waved back shyly and ducked into the house. 

John was standing in front of their blacked out father, holding one strap of his bag. When Arthur finished locking the door, he looked at his dad and exhaled. 

“Come on, John. Help me get him to the tub.” 

Arthur quickly wiped away a tear when he heard John’s soft, “Okay, Arthur.” and shed his book-bag to hold his dad’s arms. 


	2. Chapter 2

When they managed to get their father in the tub, they sat him up. As if on cue he puked what little food was in his belly and soon the air filled with the stench of liquor  Arthur nodded towards the faucet and John did as was usually routine. He turned the shower on cold and stood back as Arthur slapped his dad’s cheeks to wake him up.

“Pa! Pa come on!”

After doing that they both saw the way his face contorted, reacting from both the slaps and the icy water. His eyes opened last when the rest of his body started coming alive. Arthur bent down, John standing in the doorway of the bathroom watching it all. Lyle’s eyes went from cloudy and disoriented to aware and upset.

“You alright?” Arthur was always concerned despite himself. He was still his father after all. Lyle looked at the shower and his clothes, getting angrier by the minute. Arthur was patting his shoulder while still checking to see if his dad was going to barf again.

“God fucking dammit, Arthur! You think that water’s cheap? Look at my fucking clothes!”

It was like Arthur was having whiplash, the way he looked up at the running shower and his father’s clothes, failing to explain himself properly because all that was coming out was stuttering as he tried to tackle everything his father was mad at. He was cut off with a sharp slap to the face. John winced as he saw his brother fall on the floor. Tiles weren’t even comfortable to walk on barefoot, falling on it was worse. Arthur grabbed is cheek and looked up at his dad who was rising out of the tub, mumbling hatred toward his son as he climbed out. He stopped, looked down at his clothes again and made himself madder. He threw his shirt off and threw at Arthur so hard that he let out something like a yelp when it made contact with the side of his head.

“Clean this shit up!”

He pushed John out of the way of the doorway and Arthur saw the way John was priming himself to fight the man even though he was half his size and could easily take him down.

“John, come here!”

His cheek stung like he fought a million bees and he didn’t do much to stop himself from crying like he usually would. His brother was always more important, even if he was lying bloody in a corner. John had always been his priority when their father acted like this. John looked at Arthur and pointed harshly at the soaking wet drunk walking to the kitchen.

“He’s an asshole, Arthur!”

“Watch your mouth and just come here, John. Please…just come here.” 

John turned back towards the door, and then at his brother who was still on the floor, holding his cheek and wet from the shirt and water trail Lyle left, and he sighed and ran over to hug him. Arthur held his brother tightly and kissed the top of his head. He rocked him just like he did when he was a baby.

“Don’t pay him no mind, you hear? I got you and that’s it.”

“Why he had to hit you?” Arthur knew that John wasn’t crying, but his voice sounded small and like he was close to it. He pulled his head away and made him look into his eyes.

“He just does sometimes, John…I don’t know why he do it, but he just does.”

“That’s stupid.”

Arthur smiled at that and stroked the boy’s hair once more.

“Lots of things is stupid.”

He stood back up and grabbed the wet shirt, rolling it in his arms so that it wouldn’t drip on the floor anymore. John was sitting cross-legged on the floor now looking up at his big brother. Arthur looked into the mirror and saw that his cheek was swollen and imprinted with a large red hand mark. He sighed and focused himself on the task at hand. He had to shake it off, he always did. John didn’t need to see him like that. He didn’t want to add anymore stress on the young boy than he already had.

“Come on, I gotta clean this up.”

He threw the soiled shirt in the shower and went to get the mop to clean the floor. John got up too and tugged on Arthur’s shirt. The older boy looked down at him waiting for him to speak.

“Can I help you?”

He smiled a little wider and nodded.

“Of course you can.”

They spent the next twenty minutes or so making sure the bathroom was cleaned and presentable in case their father decided to pick another fight with him about it. When they were finished, John’s stomach let out a mighty growl and Arthur knew that it was surely time for dinner. When they got in the kitchen their father was gone, retired to his room with the whiskey bottle that was sitting on the counter last Arthur saw it. John took his seat at the table and looked at Arthur expectantly.

“What you feel like eating today?”

“Mac and burgers.”

“You always feel like eating that, John.”

He shrugged.

“I like it.”

“Well can I at least make some vegetables with it? How about some broccoli?”

Arthur could see the distraction was working and John still looked like a kid again rather than the little adult he was trying to be just moments ago. He deserved to be a child for as long as possible, Arthur always promised himself that. Of course this came with downsides, like John looking horrified at the thought of eating a single stalk of broccoli.

“Why would I eat that?”

“Because if I keep frying ground beef and cooking box mac and cheese for you, you about to be sweating grease out of your pores!”

“I don’t sweat.”

“John! I’m making some damn vegetables and you eating it whether you like it or not!”

John groaned and his eyes nearly rolled back in his head.

“Can you at least make sweet peas then?”

Arthur scowled at the boy playfully and walked over to the cabinet to make sure they even had what John was asking for. Thankfully they did and he was spared a tantrum at the hands of his little brother. 

“I guess. You better eat them too.”

John mocked Arthur with a less-than-flattering tone, to which he responded with sticking his tongue out and being met with John’s own sticking out at him.

“This why you always getting detention I bet.”

“Sure is.”

It always irritated the shit out of Arthur whenever he got into these pissing matches with John. But it made them feel normal for a bit, like they were brothers instead of whatever they were actually. Arthur worried sometimes that he sounded more like the boy’s father than he did his older brother, so any conversation like this relieved him a bit and affirmed that maybe they were both. Arthur got the ingredients out and John, as usual, pestered him to be his assistant chef and they were soon lost in their imaginary lives of being celebrity chefs on a cooking show. Arthur noted that John really did a good job at announcing the steps as they went along. Dinner, he wished went as smoothly as the cooking because if John wasn’t too busy talking to eat his food, he fought Arthur every step of the way when it came to eating all of the peas on his plate.

“You only got two of them left, stop acting like that!”

“I’m gonna puke if I eat another pea!”

It was a standoff between them. Arthur was sitting across from John, leg crossed over the other, holding his cup of juice staring at the pre-teen who was holding his fork and unflinchingly staring back.

“Boy, if you don’t eat them peas, I ain’t reading to you tonight.”

“I don’t care.”

“Yes you do.”

“No I don’t, and I ain’t eating the peas!”

John’s special skill was backtalk. Ever since the boy learned how to speak he always had something to say. Of course Arthur blamed himself, since he pretty much learned it from him. John’s gift of sassy lip was the number one reason why he got in trouble so much, and Arthur’s surprised and over how it didn’t even put so much as a damper on his little brother’s affinity for mischief. He’ll give it to little Johnny, it was the perfect way to rile him up without much effort. Arthur spent many years learning not  to take the bait, the success rate was usually fifty-percent. Today though, was one of the days where John’s resistance was wearing him down.

“John. Eat. Them.”

“Arthur. I. Won’t.”

Arthur was actually going to relent this time. He was tired and John had school in the morning and still didn’t even wash up for the night. He couldn’t even utter the first syllable of his sentence before they heard Lyle’s door swing open and him walking out, staring at the two of them like they were archenemies.

“I don’t want hear y’all arguing about this shit anymore, eating the fucking food John before I have your ass black and blue by the end of the night! do you understand me?”

John lost all his nerve at their father’s booming Scottish voice and put his head down as he poked at the peas on the plate, anxiously waiting for him to leave. Arthur set his cup down and turned his body to face the direction of their father’s voice.

“You don’t have to talk to him like that! I’m handling it!”

“You weren’t handling shit! I’ve every socked you one and you continue that tone with me I’ll do it again! I got a bloody headache and your voice’s making it worse!”

Arthur frowned so deeply he wished it would stick like that. He looked back at his brother and saw that the two peas were eaten and he was already washing his dish. The door to Lyle’s room was still open, he wasn’t done apparently.

“Arthur fetch me a fucking beer before you go upstairs.”

“Sure, pa.”

“Little shits.” The slam of a door. Arthur released the breath he didn’t realize he was holding. The house got incredibly quiet after that. The two of them didn’t utter a sound until they thought it was safe to speak again. Arthur cleared his throat and grabbed his dishes and added them to the sink. He gently nudged John away from the sink and titled the boy’s chin so that they would make eye contact. Arthur’s smile was soft and comforting and he ran a hand through John’s hair as a bonus.

“You go head and start getting ready for bed. I’ll handle it from here.”

John looked apprehensive at leaving Arthur alone, but he never could tell if it was because he was worried for his older brother, scared of being alone, or both. Arthur just squeezed his shoulder twice.

“Come on, you got homework to do, the quicker you get to it the quicker I can play with you before sleep.”

“…Will you still read to me tonight?”

“I thought you ain’t care.”

There was that childish glint in John’s eyes and he quickly shook his head.

“I was just saying that! You’ll read to me?”

Arthur let John sit with that anticipation for a moment before he nodded.

“Course I will, but you gotta handle your business first, you understand?”

John wasn’t too pleased at having to bathe. Never really was fond of the idea, but Arthur didn’t want the rest of the townsfolk to think they were dirty on top of being poor. He could only handle so much judgement from them. He heard the short sigh come from his brother’s lips as he nodded and started trudging up the stairs. Arthur followed his movement until he heard John’s bedroom door close before he turned his attention to washing the dishes.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Weed smoking 
> 
> Arthur Morgan is pothead in this story (as well as my headcanon of him) y'all!!

Arthur knew that John always looked forward to bed time. Sleeping was the part of it that didn’t come so easy to him, but it was the act of being tucked in, read to and loved that he enjoyed and he could always see it written on his face whenever he dove into his covers and watched Arthur with careful and pleading eyes. They didn’t have a lot of books, Arthur’s job was a far cry from a salaried career. Whatever money he got through employment and odd jobs went to food, clothes, and the like. He felt guilty about it every time he had to deny John a toy that he wanted, or a videogame, because they just didn’t have the funds to spare. That extended to his books. John had a meager bookshelf, it had books from when he was a young boy to the ones he was allowed to keep from school. Arthur enjoyed a good book himself every now and then but his reading skills weren’t so good that he could breeze through a book like other people his age and it always made him feel stupid, it didn’t help that he had a full-time job and if he wasn’t working he was taking care of John. But John always asked him to read him a story, and to Arthur, even if he were so illiterate he couldn’t read his name, he would still park his bottom in the chair next to his brother’s bed and make up words that went along with the pictures just to make him happy.

“The Wonderful Wizard of Oz, hm?”

John brandished the book from his bag after Arthur joined him in his room. He was already snuggled into the bed, his blanket of horse shoes and cowboy hats covered him up to his chin. It was a birthday gift and one of the few times he went over budget, not like he could ever regret the size of John’s smile that day. Arthur looked at the book funny before John explained its backstory.

“We was watching it in class today. I found the book in the class’ book bins and she told me I could hold it for a while. Just until I finish it.”

Arthur flipped it open and looked at the number of the last page.

“This book is over three hundred pages, John and you only got a month left of school. How you gonna read all this?”

“That’s why I gave it to you, stupid. Whatever you don’t get to read, I’ll finish it during school and you can pick up where I left off till the book’s read.”

Arthur examined the cover again. It was an old copy, the school didn’t have the best funding and he doubted that people were readily giving anything to donate. Most people that resided in the town of Blackwater, West Elizabeth probably never read much more than a picture book their entire life anyway, but they knew how to make more money than he did and that was enough. He sighed and sat in the chair next to the bed.

“I’ll read up till page fifteen.”

“Twenty.”

“Until you fall asleep.”

“Okay.”

Arthur’s mouth turned up into a smug grin at his victory. It was only because John was tired and he knew that, but it didn’t hurt to take advantage now and then, right? Victory always feels good. With that, he opened the book, cleared his throat, and started reading. He read calmly and slowly so that John could be soothed to slumber while still following along with the events of the story.

“‘When Aunt Em came there to live she was a young, pretty wife. The sun and wind had changed her, too. They had taken the sparkle from her eyes and left them a sober gray; they had taken the red from her cheeks and lips, and they were gray also. She was thin and gaunt, and never smiled, now.’”

He peeked up from the book to see if John was asleep. He was close, but not quite there yet. Arthur hoped a few more pages would knock him out, so he kept reading.

“‘When Dorothy, who was an orphan, first came to her, Aunt Em had been so startled by the child’s laughter that she would scream and press her hand upon her heart whenever Dorothy’s merry voice reached her ears; and she still looked at the little girl with wonder that she could find anything to laugh at.’”

John yawned and moved to grab his stuffed raccoon from behind him. His eyes were barely opened now and Arthur didn’t want to keep reading if he wasn’t awake to hear it, even though he was interested in the book after what he read so far. But first, duty called. He stood up and doggy-eared the book, placing it on John’s white nightstand. John was still awake but he was holding on for dear life. Arthur could only chuckle at the sight.

“You look about ready to knock cold, why’re you fighting it?”

John looked at the resting book and then back at his brother.

“In the movie, we saw Dorothy get carried to the land of Oz by a tornado. You think we’ll ever be that lucky?”

Arthur guffawed at the question.

“If lucky’s being thrown about by a tornado then I’ll gladly stay an unlucky feller.”

“I ain’t mean it like that. I meant if you think we could go to Oz too.”

Arthur pondered it before he shrugged.

“Depends, where is it?”

John yawned again and closed his eyes while sleepily answering, “Anywhere but here.”

Arthur’s smile was wiped clean off his face when he said that. His mind cycled many different responses but he didn’t find one that was good enough to say. John was young, but he was young and smart and that sharp edge wasn’t whittled away by Lyle like it was with Arthur. He still had hope, he was still curious and the teen would be lying if he said he wasn’t just a bit envious about that. He bent down to kiss the boy on his now clean hair and gave him a few strokes to ease him the rest of the way to sleep.

“Goodnight John.”

“Night, Arthur.”

The oldest turned the lamp off and cracked the door so that the hallway light would creep into the room. John always hated being completely in the dark, but their dad bitched about a nightlight costing more on the electric bill and so he broke the last one John had and told him to grow up. Arthur fought tooth and nail to get him to change his mind and let John keep another, but all he got in response was a beating. The brothers decided that this was the safest alternative. When he was out of the room he leant back against the wall and exhaled. He had work in the morning, so he couldn’t stay up too late but he deserved at least an hour or two to himself now that John was asleep and taken care of. He tiptoed to the stairs and peeked down into the pitch black of their house where their father’s room was. It was dead silent in the house. He went into his room and opened the last draw of his nightstand. He pulled out a grinder, his bowl, a lighter, and a baggie of weed. He took a minute to survey his ration. He would need some more by the end of the week. In Arthur’s defense, he rarely splurged on himself and whenever he could, he would treat John to something he wanted, considerably priced of course. He never bought more than twenty dollars’ worth though, he never had time to go through a whole dub in one sitting. It helped calm his nerves and sleep, which was something he always found himself struggling to do. He also made it a point to roll a joint on special occasions, since it consumed more weed and the scent was harder to get rid of. He was only smoking by himself anyway, he didn’t think he needed a whole joint just to go to straight to sleep. He pulled a nug out from the baggie and shoved it into his grinder, putting the baggie back in his drawer. When he was done grinding it up he opened the bottom part and was surprised that he had some left over from last week.

“I guess I was pretty busy then…”

He closed the grinder, held it as he grabbed his bowl and his lighter and made his way down the stairs ever so quietly so as not to wake his father up. The last thing he needed to be caught doing was sneaking out of the house with weed. Then again, his father would just get mad that he didn’t offer any to him and hurl insults his way. He opened the front door gradually so that it wouldn’t creak and closed it even softer. Their porch had a swing bench that his mother used to love sitting on when he was really little. It was one of the very few places in the house that made Arthur even remotely content. It was like she was still there, swinging on the bench with him whenever he sat there.

Without wasting any time he packed his bowl and lit it. His chest rose slowly on the inhale, and sank just the same on the exhale. After the second large hit he could already feel the effects of the weed going through him and he sat back on the bench and looked around at the other houses on the block. His eyes always seemed to land on Charles’ house though. It was two-stories, like everyone else’s. It was painted navy blue, the porch didn’t have a bench swing, but they had a pool and a nice lawn. Their house looked nice and put together, and Arthur couldn’t help but think about Charles actually _liking_ his parents and his parents liking…no _loving_ him in return. It made his heart ache just thinking about it and so he took another long hit, releasing a puff of smoke and feeling his eyes get lower. There was one more puff left in the bowl before he would have to refill. He took it quickly and packed a little bit more weed in its place. He wondered if Charles smoked weed. He laughed and brushed the thought from his mind.

“He wouldn’t want to smoke with white trash like you, Arthur.”

He finished off the second bowl and placed it next to him as he settled himself even deeper on the bench and used his leg to swing it gently back and forth. He looked up at the moonlight and kicked himself for forgetting to bring his journal so that he could draw it. He loved the moon. He spent many nights as a boy whispering his secrets to it, delighting in the fact that it never left him or told anyone what he entrusted it with. The moon had been Arthur’s only friend for a while, and then John was born.

“When John first came to him, Arthur had been so startled by the child’s laughter that he would scream and press his hand upon his heart whenever John’s merry voice reached his ears…and he still looked at the little boy with wonder that he could find anything to laugh at.”

The book said the sun and the wind changed Aunt Em and that was all Arthur could think about. He let out a short, sad laugh. Maybe John was onto something, and maybe it would be a lucky thing after all to get swept away in a storm.

But he would miss the moon something awful.

Arthur went to bed feeling strange and woke up even stranger. John enjoyed that book but the more Arthur thought about it, maybe he wasn’t so interested in it anymore. He went into the bathroom and looked at himself in the mirror and he could compare himself to was the transformation Aunt Em underwent after she moved in with Uncle Henry. Sad, gray, exhausted.

But he still had things to do and was instantly reminded of that the moment John barged in on him standing at the sink, and started peeing. Arthur looked at him stunned and irritated.

“Hello?”

“Morning, Arthur.”

“John, I don’t much like what’s happening right now.”

John groaned and flushed the toilet.

“I had to pee and you was taking too long.”

“You ain’t even think to ask or knock!”

John willfully ignored him and pushed him aside to wash his hands and brush his teeth. Arthur just rolled his eyes and started walking out of the bathroom.

“You best brush that hair too, Marston, I’m not about to let you leave this house looking like a savage!”

Arthur stopped when he was away from the bathroom, listening to his brother mocking him yet again under his breath. He was grateful, at least, when he heard the sink turn on and stay on for longer than three seconds. The morning times were the most peaceful parts of their day. Their dad was normally out of the house and they knew that the only thing Lyle valued more than liquor was his job. How else would he afford his constant thirst? It was only seven-thirty. John’s school was a five minute drive from their home and it didn’t start until eight-thirty, and he didn’t have to be to work until nine so he had enough time to whip up a pancake and some eggs for himself and John. It beat having the usual bowl of cereal. John appreciated it after he came down, dressed and as ready as he could be for another day of school, complete with afterschool detention.

“I’ll come get you at three-thirty, alright?”

John was too busy scarfing down his food to give anything other than an affirmative grunt. Arthur grimaced at the sight of the animal he called his little brother in front of him. You would think the boy never had a meal in his life. He managed to set his disgust aside to go change into his own uniform. He was putting his cap on as he walked down the stairs and saw John waiting by the front door ready to go. The ride went smoothly too. John didn’t really have much energy in the morning to be bouncing off the walls like he usually was come dismissal so they both enjoyed the country music that played during the otherwise silent drive. Immediately upon his arrival, John’s two friends Sean and Lenny were waiting for him at the stairs. It always made Arthur’s heart jump to see that his little brother had friends that enjoyed his company so much. It was much different from his time in school, to say the least. At the sight of their beloved ringleader they ran over to his car and waved through the window excitedly. John’s eyes lit up and he fidgeted with his seat, the rush of energy leaving him unable to unbuckle himself. Arthur laughed and helped him and he shot out of the car faster than a bullet. They all screamed unintelligible things and then Sean for some reason started Flossing. Arthur watched with confused glee at the trio. The bell rang and like little soldiers all the children filed together to head inside, Arthur quickly rolled down the window and waved at his brother and his friends.

“Have a good day, Johnny! And don’t get in no more trouble, you hear?”

And of course, John’s selective hearing only heard bye and so he waved to his brother with a grin on his face. That was the grin that meant he was going to get in trouble just because Arthur told him not to.

“Smell you later!”

When John was safely inside of the building Arthur drove off to his work. His manager, Simon Pearson, was showing a woman around the kitchen when he came. She was blonde and looked pissed off to even be standing next to a fryer. She was new, he could tell because she looked ready to throttle Pearson and everyone who worked there for longer than a few months knew that he was an idiot, but an easily ignorable one. With that being said, if it was her first day there it would be a shame for her to lose her job because she decked her boss. Arthur walked over in-between the two of them and smiled politely at Pearson.

“You showing her the ropes?”

Pearson returned the smile and nodded.

“Ah on time as always, Mr. Morgan! I’m certainly trying to but Mrs. Adler is making it difficult.”

“You been telling me how the damn grill works for ten minutes now like I ain’t never seen one!”

Her voice was raspy and aggressive. Arthur thought it was a nice change from all of the false geniality the rest of the workers there used. He couldn’t blame them completely though, they weren’t trying to lose their jobs. He put his hands in the air and then gestured towards Mrs. Adler.

“Why don’t I take over and you go back to…managing or whatever it is you do in that office.”

Pearson looked like he wanted to defend himself, but then looking back at the young woman, and then Arthur, he just sighed and waved them off. When he was gone, Arthur turned to her.

“He gets better with time.”

“He’s an annoying shit, if you ask me.”

That got a laugh out of him and he shrugged.

“Can’t argue with you there. Now, what’s your whole name, if you don’t mind my asking?”

She looked him up and down, up, and then down again and when she figured it was safe enough to answer him she said coolly, “Sadie Adler.”

He extended his hand out to her. He was glad when she took it.

“Mrs. Adler it’s a pleasure to meet you, I’m Arthur Morgan.”

She just smiled and the conversation lilted after that. She followed him to the drive-thru and since there was no cars, he started chatting with her again.

“I noticed you a mrs. and not a miss. How old are you?”

“Mr. Morgan you go around asking girls how old they is often?”

Being caught at his impropriety he blushed and shook his head. Rubbing at the back of his neck. He was preparing an apology when she just laughed.

“I’m just fooling. I’m twenty-one. How old are you?”

“Eighteen. You married?”

She nodded, proud of it too.

“Yeah. My Jake and I been in love since the moment we met. Been together for what now…five years? He proposed to me during our prom and we got married not too long after. Best decision of my life if you ask me.”

Arthur saw the way she spoke fondly of him and he thought that it must’ve been nice to be in love and to be married. He smiled too at the thought.

“What about you, Arthur. You got anyone special?”

They’ve only known each other for less than ten minutes and she already made him blush twice. He teetered his head, musing on whether or not to answer. She seemed accepting and kind, maybe it wouldn’t be so bad.

“Well..I ain’t got no spouse or nothing but…I got a boyfriend. He only about a year older than you. He’s in college right now.”

Her brows raised and Arthur immediately clammed up at the reaction. Was she reacting that way because his boyfriend was older than him, or that he had a boyfriend period? He was already aching for a way to not continue this conversation, he saw the cogs spinning in her head at the news and his prayers were answered when a car pulled up at his window. He quickly put his headset on and breathed to steady himself. He swung the window open and had his most polite customer service smile on when he saw who was in the car.

“...Charles?”

Charles looked just as surprised to see him there too.

“Arthur?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Get ready for a whole lot of awkardness next chapter!


	4. Chapter 4

“…Arthur?”

Brown eyes met Arthur’s surprised green-blues as the appearance of the other began to sink in. Sadie looked at the two of them, and Arthur saw the lightbulb go off in her head. In no time she was standing directly next to her coworker and waving at Charles.

“Is this your boyfriend? He is ca-ute! And he came all the way down here just to see you, how sweet!”

Arthur blinked and his cheeks burned bright red at her words. He started stammering as he could feel his brain short circuiting.

“H-h-h-…Charles ain’t my boyfriend!”

“You have a boyfriend?”

Arthur remained silent before taking in several deep breaths. He had his customer service smile back on. As if on cue, a worker came with a small bag of food and plopped it down unceremoniously, as if entirely unaware or uninterested in the scene unfolding in front of her. She pointed at the bag and then at Charles.

“That’s for that gentleman right there.”

Arthur looked at her exasperatedly.

“Thank you for explaining.”

She rolled her eyes and walked away. After a couple more minutes in the awkward silence between the three, Arthur found it unbearable, and the car behind Charles let out a few angry honks at being kept from their food. Charles snapped out of whatever daze he was in and looked back at the driver before reaching his hand out to grab the food. The brown bag was exchanged for the handful of bills and coins he placed in Arthur’s hands. Arthur just kept staring at him.

“Aren’t you going to count how much change I gave you?”

Arthur looked down at the money and quickly counted it. He nodded and put it in the register.

“Twenty-five cents is your change.”

He gave him the quarter and after the transaction they both just stirred in uncomfortable silence before the car honked again, and there was another car behind that. Charles put his hands on the wheel and gave Arthur a parting smile.

“Well, see you later.”

“Yeah…yeah. Later Charles.”

And just like that he was gone. The rest of the orders were a blur as he mindlessly took them down, delivered them, and took their money. That entire time Sadie did her best to try and help him at the window. It seemed like she was learning that the morning shift was busier than she initially thought. When they took care of the last car, Arthur closed the window again and pulled the mouthpiece of the headset away. He saw the way Sadie was staring at him. Partly like she was entertained by the sheer awkwardness of that exchange and partly like she was curious as to why he reacted like that. He watched as she drummed her fingers on the sill of the window and made mouth noises, acting like she wasn’t about to ask him a question that she probably didn’t want the answer to anyway.

“…You sure he ain’t your boyfriend?”

“Reckon I wouldn’t have acted like that if he was.”

“I think I’m missing something here, Arthur.”

He sighed. She was right, she was missing something, she was missing a lot of things and all of it had to do with a part of his life that he was trying to forget. He just stared blankly at the window. There was a bird flying to and from a tree across from the drive-thru, building a nest for its young ones.

“I’m sure you find it strange for me to be working right now instead of in school.”

She shrugged and shook her head.

“Figured it ain’t right for me to ask you your whole life story and we only just met. Ain’t nothing weird about making a little money.”

He smiled at that, a little relieved that she wasn’t critical of his choices like most of the people he went to school with. He was nervous to say anything more than that, hoping that Pearson would come out and assign him to the grill or the register in the front, or give her something to do since they didn’t really need two people at the window, but after seeing Charles there, in the last place he would think to find him and having Sadie bear witness to that, she at least earned an explanation. He took a deep breath.

“I dropped out of high school my sophomore year. It’s…the thing is I….I have a little brother. His name John, he about eleven, he about to finish his first year in middle school, I always joke with him that he getting old.” He let out a fond chuckle, “See, my family don’t got much money and my pa...um…make a long story short, I been taking care of John. But I can’t do that with no money and so here I am, I guess.”

He didn’t give her the whole story and yet it still saddened him to think about his leaving school. He felt ashamed still to admit that he was a drop-out, simply because he’s either met with looks of disappointment, false sympathy, and worst of all was when people reacted like they didn’t expect anything less from him. The first few days after the news travelled the school that he not only dropped out, but was also working at the McDonald’s that all of the students frequented, he had to deal with most of the students eating there just to make fun of him or confirm that he was in fact a high-school drop-out working a dead-end job. It was really tough for him in the beginning, but he always told himself that he was doing it for John. Two years later and it’s not quite so difficult to deal with, but there was something about letting Charles see him like that, on top of his witnessing Lyle being tossed in the house by two police officers for being shit-faced, he felt horrible. Embarrassed was the word more like.  

He felt Sadie’s hand on his shoulder, followed by a soft squeeze. She was smiling up at him. She was sympathetic, but not taking pity. It was the most reassuring reaction that he ever had after divulging that tidbit of his life. There was so much more that went on before he left the school, but he couldn’t tell her. That’s a lot to lay on someone he just met, and he really did want her to stick around. He was sad to admit to himself that he wasn’t very popular when he was attending school, at least, not for the right reasons, and now he had virtually zero friends after leaving it. Charles reminded him just how lonely a life he lived all over again.

“Life got a funny way of fucking us all. It don’t got nothing on my Jake, mind you.”

Arthur’s eyes bulged and he quickly put his headset back on and looked out the window, longing for another car to show up to be spared from hearing his new co-worker’s sex life. Sadie laughed and punched him in the arm.

“I’m just joking, Arthur, geez! You was getting all sad and it ain’t a good look to be crying in a McDonald’s drive-thru now is it?”

He wasn’t sure how accurate Sadie’s deduction of him was. He was sad but he certainly wasn’t about to cry, and especially not in front of someone else! Or she was right but he was too used to the feeling to know any different. Little did she know he spent more than his share crying in the breakroom during his time working there. He cleared his throat and fixed his cap.

“…Suppose it ain’t.”

His voice came out a little low and tired and he saw the way Sadie pressed her lips together in another short smile before patting his shoulder again.

“Mrs. Adler! Martha’s about to go on break, we need you on the grills. I know how much you love those!”

Arthur had to stifle a giggle behind his hand because of the hilarious way Sadie’s face contorted when she heard Pearson talking. It’s been a while since there was any real entertainment on the job and with Sadie he was sure that there was going to be plenty of it now. She remarkably was able to stop herself from retorting back, just an eyeroll and a silent flip-off before making her way over to her waiting boss. It was all in good timing because another car rolled up to the window and Arthur was able to busy himself with working.

\-----

“I’m off now, Mr. Pearson!”

Pearson looked up from the files on his desk and flashed a polite grin towards Arthur who had just punched out. He waved and went right back to work, letting Arthur take his leave. When he was just a few feet away from his car, he heard Sadie calling after him. He turned to look at her, gripping the strap of his book-bag a bit tighter. It used to be filled with books but Arthur swapped them out for a work uniform a long time ago. She was jogging over to him, she would peer into the restaurant every so often to make sure that Pearson wasn’t looking for her to do another task that was above her pay-grade. After she deemed it safe she gave Arthur another huge smile.

“You already leaving?”

“I got to go get John. He had detention today so I stayed a little later to make some extra cash. Every bit helps.” His lip quirked up to show her that he was joking and that he wasn’t gonna tell her anymore about his tragic backstory. She brushed it off.

“I just wanted to thank you for making my first day here a little less shitty. If you come in tomorrow, I could buy us drinks. We could shoot the shit at my house for a while. You could meet Jake.”

It was only the first day of knowing each other and he was already nervous at ruining whatever budding friendship they had. Being invited to hang out with someone that wasn’t an eleven-year-old boy scared the shit out of him. He did he truly did, he would’ve accepted the invitation in a heartbeat but there was always that obstacle that prevented him. That obstacle being his father.

“Don’t get me wrong, Mrs. Adler, I would enjoy nothing more than to have drinks with you but…I gotta…”

“You gotta look after John, I hear you.”

He didn’t miss the way she looked vaguely disappointed to hear that and his heart sank even lower. Her hands were on her hips and she nodded while looking down. He kept telling himself this is why he didn’t have any friends; he wanted nothing more than to leave the minute the conversation died.

“I’m sorry.”

“No, you don’t got no reason to be. You said you had a pa, you can’t leave John with him for a bit?”

Arthur went deathly quiet and froze on the spot. He could never do that to his little brother. His reaction must’ve been enough of an answer for Sadie, she looked like she understood without him saying a word.

“Tell you what, how about you take my number down and I can come to your place or something.”

There was a pleading behind that smile that made Arthur give in and pull his phone out. After the quick exchange of digits, Sadie laughed triumphantly and pocketed her phone. Arthur kept his out when he saw that he had a text from his boyfriend. Sadie took that as her cue to head back to work so she gave him a quick wave before turning on her heel and marching back into the burger joint. Arthur strolled to his car, taking a seat inside before opening the text.

 _“Done with classes for the day, I want to see you_ ~~ _.”_

He smiled at the message, deft fingers flying over the keyboard.

_“I have to pick up John. I’ll call you after.”_

He managed to start the car and pull out of his parking spot when his phone dinged again.

_“ <3 :*” _

Arthur chuckled as he drove off and started heading towards John’s school. He checked the time, it was only three-thirteen. He still had a bit of free time before his brother was let out of detention, and since seeing Charles again, there was a gnawing feeling at him that he had to let out before it ruined the rest of his day. So he took a turn instead of keeping straight and was flooded with memories of taking this turn hundreds of times two years ago. He was there again, pulled up at his old high school. It was little late in the day for the students to still be in the building, but most of the kids in the town stayed for the afterschool programs. He put his car in park and people-watched.

 He saw a few of the students that ran the honor roll club, eggheads the lot of them. They always made fun of the way he talked… _spoke._ He remembered the day he heard one of them whispering about the “hillbilly” that sat in front of him. Another member of the club saw him reading a book in the hallway and remarked that they were “shocked” that someone like him could even get past the title page. He was sure they had a blast when they heard he dropped out.

There were three girls sat at the table to left of staircase leading into the building. Two of them were white girls, one with blonde ringlets and the other with brown hair styled in an updo. The third girl was black, and her hair was tied into a neat French braid. He knew them. They were Karen Jones, Tilly Jackson, and Mary-Beth Gaskill. Whatever Karen just said was scandalous for sure, the two girls howled and placed their hands over their mouths. The edge of his mouth was fixed in something like a smile when he thought about them. He had English with Mary-Beth, she always did well on the written assignments. They were partnered together for an in-class assignment once. He apologized to her for having to be partnered with him and she laughed that cute giggle he always enjoyed hearing and told him that she liked his writing a lot and asked to be his partner. Unbeknownst to her, she was one of the few people that were kind to him while he attended. She sat with him at lunch that same day and introduced him to the rest of her crew. Karen snuck whiskey in an iced tea bottle and offered him some. Tilly just smiled and asked him about the things he wrote, but he got too flustered to answer. She would ask him if he was okay on days that were particularly hard and he appreciated her for that. Karen invited him to her end-of-the-year party just before he dropped out, but he had to decline because he couldn’t possibly leave John alone with their father for an extended amount of time. Now that he thought about it, he missed them.

He didn’t realize until he felt the tear roll down his cheek that he was crying, or at least starting to. He wiped it away quickly, but then there came another, and then another and soon his hands were wet with the salty liquid that he wept. When he left he told himself that he wasn’t going to miss it. That there would be no more homework assignments, no more report cards, and most importantly no more bullies. If he didn’t have to come home to a father like Lyle Morgan, then he would say the bullying he went through during his two years there was a living hell. He talked funny because he was poor. He didn’t watch much television because his dad was always parked in front of it and the one time he tried he was beaten black and blue and thrown in his room with no dinner for such an inexcusable crime in his father’s eyes; he could never join in or understand the lunch-time conversations that the other students had about their favorite shows or wtf moments in the season. He drew in his journal instead but then the head of the football team, Micah Bell, sent his lackeys, Ross and Milton, to snatch it away from Arthur and rip the book to pieces while the rest of the cafeteria watched. Karen nearly fought the both of them while Tilly and Mary-Beth scoured the school looking for him. He was ashamed when they found him sobbing in the bathroom upset over something as stupid as a notebook.

His eyes burned more and the tears welled even quicker as he thought about how alien he felt there, alien and no good. Anyone that didn’t bully him were scared of him because he was big and had a mug that would put the worst sour-puss out of a job and they thought that he was a brute. An idiotic brute.

But that was closest thing to a normal life that he had. Oddly enough it was the only thing that made him feel like the rest of the students. He went to school and he learned just like them, he was a student as far as the school was aware and it didn’t matter to the teachers what his home like was life as long as he did what students do. In school, he was a kid just like them who’s only worries was whether or not he was going to pass trigonometry. But now he’s eighteen flipping burgers and taking care of a child while everyone else excitedly worried about prom and summer vacation. Watching them all now like this was hurtful and it was a mistake to come back. He sniffled and wiped at his eyes again when his phone started vibrating. It was John. He looked at the time and it was three-fifty. He sat there and felt sorry for himself while his brother was waiting for him to come pick him up. He felt sorrier. With a swipe of the finger he put the phone to his ear. He sniffled again and took three deep breaths in before speaking.

“John, I’m so sorry I lost track of time I-I’m in the car right now I ain’t but ten minutes away from you.”

He berated himself for having such a shaky voice, it was obvious to John that he was crying now and now he was going to worry about him and Arthur felt that lump in his throat and his vision blurring just thinking about how much of a fuck-up he is in this moment.

“I was just gonna ask you if I could go to Lenny’s house with Sean. We was both in detention together and Lenny said his pa said it were alright.”

Arthur felt the weight on his chest slowly lift when he heard his brother’s voice. He was smiling, but his tears kept seeping into his mouth.

“How long you gonna be there for?”

“Lenny’s pa is making dinner.”

That was code for: he was planning on being there for quite a while. But anything was better than being home, Arthur couldn’t bring himself to tell him anything otherwise. He swallowed thickly and tried better to steady his voice.

“Call me when you ready to come home, okay?”

“Okay. Are you alright?”

He let out a chuckle but his cheeks ached from the movement and it didn’t sound even remotely like he was having a good time. But he was alright, he had to be alright for his baby brother. He knew better though, John’s silence on the other end was proof that he saw through Arthur’s bullshit.

“I’m…yeah I’m alright. You have fun with your friends, don’t worry about me, okay?”

“Sure.”

Arthur’s smile came back and it was less forced than the last one. He wiped at his nose again.

“Good. And John?”

“Yes?”

“…I…I love you, you know that right?”

He shouldn’t hesitate saying this to him. He always cooed similar words to him when John was a baby, but it was hard for him to say. It was always hard for him to say.

“I know, Arthur.”

The laugh came as a surprise even to Arthur. His mood improving drastically from the past eight or so minutes he spent wallowing in self-pity watching his former classmates. He nodded to himself, pleased with the emotional change.

“Okay, I’ll catch you later then.”

John hung up. Arthur bit at the nail on his thumb. He heard laughing, all men. He turned and saw none other than Charles Smith exiting the school with Javier Escuella. Javier played the guitar, he remembered because he always caught him in the hallways after school practicing. Charles was a star athelete at the school, in contrast to his friend. He was on the swim team, but he was the school’s prize-winning wrestler, it wasn’t unusual to see him leaving the school late either, but Arthur sucked his teeth at the sight of him. They were walking down the pathway that lead to the street. Arthur was parked directly in front of the school, all Charles had to do was look into the car and see him sitting there, watching them all like some kind of creep. Arthur’s phone picked the perfect time to start ringing. He picked it up when he saw who it was.

“Didn’t I tell you I was going to call you after I got John?”

“Oh come now, Arthur. You know a patient man I am not. Did you get him?”

Arthur lost focus of the phone-call as he watched Charles and Javier make a sharp right after leaving school grounds. None of them looked like they saw him and his racing heart slowed to its normal tempo after they were out of his periphery. He exhaled and sank against the seat.

“Hello? Earth to Arthur.”

“Uh…sorry about that, I were distracted for a moment. John…John is at a friend’s house for a while, figure he won’t be ready to come home till about nine or ten.”

“Meaning…?”

Arthur could hear the smirk through the phone. He was being coy. Arthur sniffled again, feeling much closer to stable than what he previously felt.

“Meaning that I’ll come to you for a bit.”

“Music to my ears, Arthur, music to my ears. Now, hurry up!”

“Alright alright! I’m coming, I’ll be there in an hour.”

“Until then, Arthur.”

“Yep, until then, Dutch.”

He hung up, pocketed the phone, and looked at himself in his rear-view mirror. He tried to get the tear-stains off, and make his eyes and cheeks look less puffy. He gave up when he realized he was making it worse, so he rolled down the window and turned his radio up as he pulled away from the school.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In this story Dutch and Hosea are 22-23 please keep that in mind going forward, and I hope y'all are enjoying it! 
> 
> You can find me on tumblr at johnlockerooni, but I also have a side-blog specifically for red dead called arthur-dirtydick-morgan !


	5. Chapter 5

Arthur knocked twice on Dutch’s door. Arthur could hear the sound of his boyfriend’s beloved opera music playing and he rolled his eyes. It was just noise more than it was music, but Dutch always told Arthur that he just had no taste, and he agreed for the simple fact that if that’s tasteful then he must be a bland-tongued son of a bitch. Dutch did not finding it amusing. He fluffed his blond hair up, rubbed his finger on his teeth, and patted his cheeks to make them appear rosy. Dutch always liked for Arthur to look his best. The door swung open and none other than his boyfriend was standing there, beaming from ear-to-ear. He looked Arthur up and down and when he liked what he saw he clapped Arthur’s shoulder and pulled him in for a kiss. Dutch was never one for quiet affection, like Arthur often preferred, he liked to be grandiose and seen so all of their kisses were something straight like out of the movies. Dramatic.

They wetly pulled apart. Dutch’s ringed finger tilting his lover’s head up and Arthur could feel his eyes boring into his soul. The older man smiled again, and gave him a loud peck on the lips.

“I never get tired of kissing these lips, Arthur.”

And Arthur was positively flattered at the compliment. He smiled.

“While I never tire of kissing you, my dear, I do tire from the smell of your job.”

“Smell?”

Dutch’s finger dropped and Arthur was left dumbfounded. His boyfriend leaned against the doorframe and crossed his arms.

“The stink of hamburgers and fries.”

Arthur looked down. He didn’t change out of his uniform at work because he came dressed already. He drove straight from McDonald’s to Dutch’s dorm, with that short crying episode in the car as a break. He pinched the collar of his shirt and gave it a whiff. He did smell very strongly of grease, his pores clogged just from the sniff. His nose scrunched up.

“Oh…I’m sorry about that Dutch, I thought I were going home so that I could change but John’s over at Lenny’s house and you called and I ain’t want to make you wait so I came straight here.”

Dutch’s chuckle was rumbly, and he seemed amused and soft. He kissed Arthur on his head and stepped out of the way so that he could enter. When Arthur was fully inside, Dutch shut the door. He lived in a double room with another student named Hosea Matthews. Arthur always enjoyed seeing how different the room was on either side. Hosea was not austere, but he only had a painting of sunny hill hanging up on his wall, and a poster of a Sherlock Holmes novel. His dresser had a few picture frames on it, his toiletries, and stuffed Valentine’s Day animal. There were three books stacked up on it just a bit askew. His desk had playing cards on it, dominoes, and his laptop. On the windowsill were a few succulents and a sunflower that were coming in nicely. His bed had white sheets, and a blue duvet with swirls in it. He definitely had a mattress pad, but that was for the sake of their backs. Arthur didn’t attend Blackwater University, but he slept on the beds enough to know that it was like sleeping on a pile of rocks without some sort of cushion under you. Thankfully, Dutch had a mattress comforter and then some on his bed. Dutch enjoyed the finer things in life and it reflected in his choice of décor for his side of the room. He had dark red sheets, the carpet in front of his bed was soft and velvety and matched. He had three bottles of wine and an unopened bottle of whiskey on his desk, Arthur sneered at the espresso maker on the other side of the bottles. His laptop was opened to his opera playlist on Spotify and Arthur was already thinking of several ways to get him to either change it or turn it off while he was here. There were LED lights that were taped alongside the wall of his bed, and underneath of it, polaroid pictures were scattered along the white brick.

Dutch had dozens of photos that were mostly of himself and likely taken by Arthur, his friends, and a small smattering of about ten photos that were of him and Arthur together. Arthur only had one picture of himself that was closest to Dutch’s pillow. He was naked in the bed with the sheet draped around his lower body. He was sitting up, one leg down and one drawn up so that his head was resting on his knee. His hands were rested atop his foot and his lips were pouted and his eyes were dreamy. He and Dutch had about four glasses of wine that day and the sun was beaming down on them well into the afternoon. They had just had sex and Arthur’s skin was still glowing from the activity. They were halfway through their fifth and sixth glasses when Dutch set his down and just stared at Arthur in silence. When Arthur, tipsy enough to let his filter down a little asked him what he was gawking at, Dutch just smiled, picked up his camera and then told him to just pose. Of course, those poses were on very strict direction from him, but every time the camera clicked Dutch told him he was stunning, Dutch always told him how handsome he was, or would wax poetic about how stunning he was.

 _‘My dear boy.’_  It was like a pet name for him almost, Arthur had never felt so special before.

There were more pictures from that day, but Dutch probably threw them out or had them stuffed in a closet somewhere. It was clear he liked that one best.

“Arthur! Good to see you!”

Hosea was sat on his bed, reading a book. He was smiling up at Arthur brightly, Arthur waved.

“I didn’t think you was here, Hosea. How you been?”

“Oh I’m dying.”

Arthur’s eyes bulged. Hosea just laughed.

“Relax, I ain’t talking about for real, I just mean my workload’s been awful this semester and finals week is nigh, isn’t that right, Dutch?”

“Of course Hosea, but don’t worry, it’s our last semester here and we will soon be free from this scam that we call an educational institution.”

Both Arthur and Hosea rolled their eyes seeing that Dutch was gearing up for one of his great speeches about the great farce that is the United States and how it functions to break the common man.

“We’ve been over this, Dutch. If you don’t like being here you could have left at any time.”

“And leave you my friend? Never. How would you survive without me?”

“I think I’d get on quite well, actually.”

Dutch threw one of his throw pillows at Hosea and the three men laughed.

“How’s John? He adjust well to middle school?”

“John’s um…he certainly adjusting. Don’t think he’s quite there yet, he still got trouble with…heh, well, not getting in trouble. But his friends from grade school still with him, you remember Lenny and Sean?”

“I remember you telling me about them. Nice to hear the three of them are still good friends, a boy always needs good friends. You should bring him up before graduation.”

Arthur scoffed, “I don’t think he’d like it much up here. John gets nervous around grown folks, and I’m afraid being around so many adults like y’all would make him uncomfortable.”

“Ah, that’s too bad then.”

“It’s alright though, that boy get wound up tighter than a jack-in-the-box if he gotta sit somewhere for too long, he wouldn’t be much of an audience member.”

Arthur caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror and remembered that he was probably stinking the room up with his work clothes, he removed his cap and set his bag down at the foot of Dutch’s bed. Hosea closed his book, and stood up. He stretched and yawned.

“Well I guess I should find somewhere else to be. Maybe Trelawny’s?”

Dutch waved him off and let out a hearty laugh.

“That man’s as elusive as Bigfoot, if you can find him let me know.”

“I’ll do that. See you later Arthur, say hi to John for me!”

“I will. Catch you later, Hosea!”

Hosea exited the room and left the two alone. Arthur always did enjoy Hosea’s company, and he was glad that Dutch had someone like him too. They’d been roommates since freshmen year and became the best of friends. At least, that’s how Arthur saw it. Dutch told him that they met because they were trying to steal the last textbook for their intro to political science class from the campus’ bookstore before classes started and when Dutch had finally planned enough to execute this heist, Hosea came back into the room holding the book, and quietly sat down and started studying. As Dutch tells it, he was tipped off by the way Hosea smirked while he was reading it. He called him out, they argued which somehow turned into them smoking a joint and lead to neither of them studying for the exam they “epically bombed on” quoting Dutch. Arthur asked Hosea if that was true and Hosea just replied, “If Dutch says it is, then it must be.” and that was that.

“I hope you know, my dear boy that there won’t be no more touching than that until after you’ve showered. I understand that you have to do to but can’t you work somewhere…less greasy?”

Arthur was pulling off his black work polo when Dutch said that. When he was shirtless, he folded the shirt up and placed it next to his bag.

“You have any ideas?”

“Always, Arthur, always. There’s retail.”

“No thank you.”

Arthur rose back up and moved to take his pants off. He could feel the waves of arousal emanating from Dutch and he couldn’t help but smile at the attention.

“This is exactly why I’m suggesting a new line of work! Do you know how hard it is for me right now to see you in all your glory and not rush to show you how in awe I am?”

“You the only one that got a problem with it. I can’t help that I smell like the food I work with, I already get repulsed at the sight of a cheeseburger, but John always seem to want to eat them.”

He halted his undressing and looked at Dutch.

“Besides, Pearson’s been good to me, and I been there for two years I just about know everyone that work there. I can’t risk leaving and not having no money for me and John.”

“The poor man’s burden. Money, money, money. The source of all that is the worst about this country.”

“You said the same thing about McDonald’s.”

“It is! Fast food is designed to kill folks like us. Do you think it’s normal for the aroma of a burger to be so pungent? A trick, my dear boy, a trick to get us addicted so that we spend what little money we have on poorly-made, hastily crafted, and unhealthy food that’ll kill us if poverty don’t first.”

Arthur pulled his pants down and was now in nothing but his red boxer-briefs. He could see Dutch hardening and smirked as he made his way over to the bathroom, kissing Dutch while passing.

“You been reading that Miller feller again…what’s his name?”

“That’s Evelyn Miller to you, Arthur and yes I have. He is the one true voice in this shit hole of a country and I will spread his message until my very last breath!”

“It’s real hot when you talk dirty like that, Dutch.”

“Sarcasm is the lowest form of wit, darling.”

Arthur rolled his eyes and turned the shower on, stripping fully naked when it was hot enough. He sighed when the warmth of the water engulfed his body, Dutch still rattling on in the room.

“It’s not my fault that you can’t comprehend thoughts bigger than your own, Arthur.”

Dutch thought he was being slick, no doubt but the water wasn’t so loud that Arthur couldn’t hear that. Dutch unfortunately had the habit of taking pot shots at Arthur’s intelligence level. He gave him one of Miller’s books to read for his birthday last year and when the younger man confessed that he was confused about the point of the book, Dutch just laughed at him and said that he wasn’t surprised to hear that but he thought it was worth a shot. Arthur reasoned that he couldn’t exactly argue with the sentiment, Dutch was the one with the highest level of education after all. He couldn’t say that it didn’t hurt sometimes to hear that.

If Dutch really thought he was too stupid to be around they wouldn’t have been together for two years. It was like Dutch always told him, he was _his_ dear boy, and as far as Arthur was concerned he always would be.

He leaned his head back and closed his eyes as he stood under the water.

\------

  
“John catch it! Catch it John you gotta!”

Sean was excitedly screaming for John to grab the soccer ball as he chased after it down the block. They’d been playing soccer while Lenny helped his dad make dinner. He and Sean had a lot of pent-up energy from being stuck in detention and both boys immediately decided that the best course of action was to kick the shit out of a ball for a while. It was soccer first and then video games after dinner. Sean left his copy of Fortnite at the house for safe-keeping and the three were practically salivating at the mouth just thinking about playing it.

John bent down to get the soccer ball, but kicked it by accident and it went rolling into the street. John had never been the most observant, especially now where all he could focus on was getting the ball. So incredibly focused that he didn’t see the car that was coming down the street. He wasn’t aware of the oncoming vehicle until it let out a loud horn and its headlights illuminated his entire body. He gasped and froze as the car tried to brake.

He did hear someone shout his name though, but it wasn’t Arthur.

John closed his eyes and braced for impact.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did John get hit by a car?? Will Arthur get rid of that burger smell??? Will we ever find out just what Lenny's dad is cooking for dinner? Find out next time on Dragon Ball Z!
> 
>  
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> P.S. If Dutch seems OOC pls *kindly* let me know in the comments!


	6. Chapter 6

Javier invited Charles over to his place to smoke and play some video games while his parents were at work. Charles shrugged and nodded, it wasn’t like he had anything else to do and he really wanted to see that new Spiderman game that Javier got. Charles did warn Javier that he would couldn’t stay long because Copper needed to be walked. Of course, that was before Javier rolled the best joint Charles had ever smoked in his life. They were glued to the couch in a matter of minutes, and for some reason Javier asked if Charles wanted to smoke again. It didn’t matter because by the time Charles had decided, Javier already packed his bong and he wasn’t going to just turn down a hit from Javier’s bong. It was legend in their school amongst the other stoners. Javier was famous for his music, his clothes, and his incredible weed. Being best friends with Javier comes with a lot of perks and a lifetime of stories so ridiculous they can never be shared, but being able to smoke with him for free had to be one of the best parts of their friendship.

Of course with pros comes cons, and the cons with being able to smoke so much of his friend’s weed was that he would become so high sometimes that his mind would wander and he’d forget anything that wasn’t brought to his attention prior to smoking. Like walking Copper. He was reminded of it again when they were both victim to an ASPCA commercial. One of the dogs looked just his own and he even said that out loud when Javier chuckled and said, “That’s what he looks like when you’re eating.”

And that was the funniest shit those two heard the entire night, until it wasn’t funny anymore and Charles gasped and shot up from the couch. He looked outside and saw that the sun was just about set and Copper hadn’t been walked for hours.

“Shit, I gotta walk him!”

Javier was already packing another bong hit while Charles was frantically putting his shoes back on and shoving his keys in his pocket and grabbing his bookbag while running out the house screaming, “I’m coming boy!”

Javier lit the bong and puffed from it. On the exhale he said, “Bye, Charles!” Even though his friend was already gone from the apartment. Charles ran outside and into his car in record time. That didn’t mean however, that he wasn’t still incredibly high, focusing was a little hard at the moment because his mind was racing at all of the possible shit and piss he would have to clean up when he got home. And there was the fact that Copper would be livid with him and he didn’t know if he could live with that kind of guilt. He put the key in ignition and his car came alive. Fleetwood Mac came on. It was his mother’s CD. The thought of her and _Dreams_ playing at the same time was able to steady his nerves enough to drive home without crashing.

When he got home, he shot out of the car and took long strides to get to his door quickly, fumbling with the keys. He’d just put the key in the key hole when he heard the sound of children screaming and loud honking. He turned his head to look down the block and that’s when he saw none other than John Marston standing in front of the car like a deer in headlights, and the car driving dangerously too fast down the block. He wasn’t sober enough to actually think, just do. So he darted over to the boy, thankful that he ran track his first two years of high school. He shouted his name.

“John!”

John winced and prepared himself for the impact. The impact that never came because Charles was able to push him out of the way just in time. But then, Charles had not been so lucky, and while the car certainly didn’t kill him, his calf hit the fender and he heard the snap of his bone on the way down, then skidding as the car sped off. He saw John cover his eyes when he heard the thud of his savior hitting the concrete. Immediately, Charles grabbed for his leg and let out a strangled cry. It was broken, his bone was definitely Not Okay. He felt smaller hands on him and saw that it was John. He looked panicked.

“I’m so sorry, sir! I’m so…Sean! Sean!”

The little redhead boy who was referred to as Sean came running over. He didn’t look as terrified as John, if Charles had to place it at-a-glance he would think that the boy looked more intrigued than he did actually worried. He saw the man band-aids that littered the boy’s body and the wild way he was yelling for John to catch the ball before this happened, he was no stranger to broken bones. However, when he saw his friend scared out of his mind, he sobered up a bit.

“What?”

“Go get Lenny’s pa and tell him come quick!”

“Sure!”

And just like that John and Charles were alone. John’s hands were grappled around Charles’ large bicep and he was tugging at him.

“Get up Charles! We gotta get you into the house so Lenny’s pa can look over you!”

“Sure. But my leg is broken, John, I don’t think I can stand.”

“Well then I’ll stay with you until he come out then.”

He unlatched his arms and true to his word he sat down on the pavement next to Charles and started stroking the man’s long black hair. It was weird to see a child be so mature about a situation like this, but this was Arthur’s little brother after all, and he was sure the two been through enough together to cause that. It felt nice too. Charles closed his eyes and leant into the pets, trying to do anything to keep from thinking about the pain.

\----

They started having sex not long after Arthur got in the shower. Dutch told him that he was an impatient man and joined him. When he deemed Arthur clean enough, he initiated by picking him up by the legs, and resting his bottom on the shower rod in the bathroom, knocking the soap bottles down onto the floor. He frantically pressed kisses all over his face before settling for his lips and Arthur slapped his hand around the top of the shower before he pushed the showerhead down so that he could breathe without water getting in his mouth. Arthur felt the jolts of arousal course through him as he felt Dutch grab at his ass, clutching it so that his boyfriend wouldn’t fall but also squeezing the cheeks, almost kneading into them. Dutch always knew that Arthur loved whenever he slapped or played with his ass. With both of their dicks hard and incredibly sensitive, Arthur pulled back his foreskin and started rubbing his dick against Dutch’s, the first contact sending shivers through Dutch; he could feel the way Dutch’s abs contracted with the touch. Arthur smiled into the kiss and deepened it, his hips bucking to create friction between the two men, he could already feel the precum seeping from Dutch’s head. He moaned, knowing full well that Dutch loved it when he did, he was rewarded with kisses to the neck but then paused right on the middle of Arthur’s throat and the blond gasped when he felt Dutch’s tongue licking at the spot, his mouth latched onto the flushed skin as he suckled like a newborn eager for a tit.

Arthur dug his fingers into the older man’s back and Dutch hissed at the sensation of his skin breaking. Arthur immediately pulled his hands away from his back and the two stopped their session to stare at each other.

“Sorry!”

Arthur stared deeply into Dutch’s eyes, searching for any sign of anger at that. Dutch just gave him a look of carnality. When they had sex, Dutch tended to give himself wholly to the hunger and lust that consumes him during what he considers, “A primal time and the only savageness that we can give ourselves to when burdened with civilization.”.  Arthur thought for a moment that he had just ruined their sex and was ready to be asked to leave, when Dutch just slammed him back harder against the wall. His mouth hovered next to Arthur’s ear, his breath hot and moist tickling the sensitive skin there.

“You naughty boy…” Dutch growled in his ear. Arthur always thought that Dutch was more akin to an animal in heat during sex, and given the man’s philosophy on the deed itself, he supposed it made sense. He was used to it, anyhow. He smiled and moved to kiss him again and this time Dutch was rougher with him. He pressed his mouth on the right side of his lover’s neck and sucked again, this time adding a bit of teeth to it, removing it when he was satisfied with his hickey. Arthur gasped which soon turned into a moan as he moved one of his hands to cup Dutch’s ass. What little of it there was, anyway. Dutch landed a slap to Arthur’s plump cheek, earning a small yelp from the teen. Dutch grinned, taking utter delight in pleasing his companion so.

“Tell me you like it.”

Arthur, panting while they both grinded into each other, both cocks oozing fluid, becoming desperate to cum, answered him.

“I love it.”

Arthur bit at Dutch’s lower lip and the two shared another long and deep kiss before Dutch pulled apart and shut the shower off.

“Get in the bed. Get in the bed, I’m tired of this I want…I _need_ to be inside you right now.”

“So shut up and take me to bed.”

Dutch grunted as another spasm of pleasure reached him and soon Arthur was being picked up again and placed onto the bed. He was slapped on the ass again, Arthur giggled as he took the signal to roll over on his back; Dutch straddled him, and positioned his legs in the air.

“They getting long, Arthur…these legs of yours.”

Arthur was nearly overcome with horniness and he knew that Dutch reveled in it. His boyfriend placed one kiss starting on his calf, and then slowly started trailing his way towards Arthur’s inner thigh, all the while staring Arthur directly in the eyes. When he got nose to nose with Arthur’s dick he went along the side of it with his tongue, stopping directly when he got to his asshole.

“Beg me for it.”

“Please, Dutch…dear lord, please!”

There went that smile again, Arthur pleased him, he was always glad to please him. Dutch shoved his tongue directly into Arthur’s anus and began licking away, careful to be as teasing and thorough as possible about it. Arthur knew what was coming next, Dutch always liked to take his time with the inevitable. A finger soon replaced his tongue and Arthur couldn’t help but whimper at the feeling of his hole widening, the pressure that was building up beneath him. Dutch took his time working his finger around before inserting another one in and tilting his wrist as Arthur expanded underneath him. Arthur moaned louder and Dutch shushed him when he felt that he was getting too loud, he gave him one of his throw pillows after Arthur was prodded in his g-spot twice and was unable to keep quiet. Arthur bit it, each time a muffled groan left his mouth, Dutch kissed him. On his belly, on his chest, he bit at Arthur’s nipples a few times knowing that really worked him up.

When Dutch had enough of his games, realizing that he was suffering from it too, he looked deep into his lover’s blue eyes and gave him a curt nod. It was the signal, a warning to let Arthur know that Dutch was ready to have his fun now. Dutch’s cock throbbed as he felt Arthur squirming underneath of him, desperate yet surprised at Dutch’s entrance. He let out a heavy sigh at the wetness that greeted his dick.

“Oh lord Arthur!”

Dutch was humping Arthur like his life depended on it. Both letting out short grunts from the thrusting, Arthur attempting to look as attractive as he could while he was being fucked. During the earlier days of their relationship, Dutch told Arthur that sometimes he made a face that put the older man off and made cumming a little difficult. Arthur tried hard since that day to not let that happen, and he was glad to see that it was working. Even while Dutch was on the cusp of nutting his brains out in Arthur, he still kept telling him that he looked wonderful, that he was so beautiful, that he could barely contain himself because he looked enchanting. Arthur simply loved it. Just as excited as Dutch was, Arthur grabbed his own dick and furiously started working his hand on it, wanting to cum at the same time his boyfriend did. He moaned and twitched under the deftness of his fingers, making Dutch’s humping even more pleasurable to himself.

Arthur clamped his teeth down harder on the throw pillow, barely being able to hold back his groans and howls of pleasure. Dutch took the pillow and threw it aside.

“Moan.”

Arthur gladly did as he was told.

“Louder.”

He didn’t even have to put much effort, he was overwhelmed by lust.

“Oh…oh Arthur, louder!”

Arthur felt himself reach the point of no return, and from the way Dutch’s face weirdly contorted, he knew that he was not far from his climax either. Arthur’s pants and grunts turned into a loud utterance of, “DUTCH!”

And soon both were taken over the edge with white hot pangs coursing through them. Dutch himself was having a particularly powerful orgasm, convulsing ever so slightly with each pump of cum into Arthur’s ass. Arthur held him, wrapped his arms around his neck and pulled him close as he too rode through his orgasm. They both breathed like dogs caught in a heatwave. Bodies sweaty, Arthur’s stomach covered in semen, they were spent. When Dutch’s dick stopped throbbing and wasn’t too sensitive to move, he gently pulled out of Arthur, looking down at his limp dick and then back up at Arthur, very content with this round of sex. Arthur thought that Dutch always looked like he smoked eight joints after they’ve fucked. Maybe that’s why he seldom ever actually smoked weed. Arthur always wanted to try it with him, but he would turn it down and say that he didn’t need to rely on drugs to bust a good nut.

Dutch rolled over and laid on his back with an arm draped over his forehead, chest slightly heaving as he tried to catch his breath and take in what happened.

“You are…marvelous as always, my dear boy.”

Arthur smiled at the compliment, and moved so that he was lying on top of the arm that Dutch had sprawled out against the other pillow. He was facing Dutch, his arm reached out so that his hand was resting on Dutch’s belly. He was content. His phone dinged and that content was a thought of the past as he rolled over to see what the message was. He had over five missed calls from John and suddenly guilt pooled where ecstasy did only five minutes prior. Was John calling him this whole time to let him know he was ready to go home, and he didn’t hear it because he was off having sex with his boyfriend? He felt terrible and his fingers hurriedly went over the screen until John’s caller id was showing. He placed the phone to his ear and anxiously awaited, ready to apologize profusely to his little brother for making him wait so long.

“I’m at the hospital!”

Arthur nearly passed out. It was even worse than what he imagined! Immediately he sprang out of the bed and started walking into the bathroom to clean himself off.

“The hospital! What the hell you doing at the hospital, boy! You wasn’t doing nothing stupid with them boys was you? I told you stop climbing up that damn tree!”

“Arthur shut up and listen!”

“So go head and tell me then!”

“I been trying but you wasn’t shutting your trap! I’m here because a car was coming and---”

“Oh lord jesus you was hit by a car.”

“Almost! Charles got hit instead and so now we all at the hospital waiting.”

Arthur’s mouth gaped at the news. He was secretly relieved that his brother was okay, but at the expense of Charles. Worry was still gnawing at his heart.

“Who you with?”

“Lenny, Sean, and Lenny’s pa!”

“Okay, okay I’m heading over to y’all right now, call me if anything happens!”

“Sure, Arthur.”

John hung up and Arthur was back in the bedroom trying to get his clothes on as quick as possible. Dutch was sitting up in the bed still stark naked, watching run around the room like a chicken with his head cut off.

“If the sex was bad Arthur, all you gotta do is say that.”

Arthur couldn’t tell if he was joking or not, but he was too distracted to dwell on it for much longer. He zipped his pants up and was moving to put his shirt on and only after he finished buttoning it did he respond to Dutch.

“Shut up, Dutch you know that ain’t  it. John called, said Charles were in the hospital.”

“And who is Charles?”

Arthur froze and looked at his boyfriend who looked vaguely irritated and confused by the other man’s name.

“He a friend…well, more like we went to school together and he live across the street from me.”

“Well if he ain’t your friend, why you going there?”

There was the jealousy that peeked through the question that Arthur picked up on. He knew what it sounded like, but he didn’t have time to sit there and explain the whole situation to him at the moment. He would just have to trust him on it.

“I’m going there because my little brother with him, and I just want to see if he alright, Dutch. That’s all.”

Dutch’s silence bothered Arthur, and he stopped tying his shoe and sat on the edge of the bed. 

“Do you trust me?”

Dutch looked him up and down, his face unreadable before he sighed and nodded. Arthur kissed him and stood back up, finishing dressing.

“Show him them hickies if he try anything, you hear?”

Arthur brushed that comment off, knowing that Dutch was dead serious. This wasn’t the first time Dutch got jealous when Arthur hung out with someone else, and it wouldn’t be the last, it was just something that Arthur had to deal with sometimes. He put his cap back on and grabbed his bookbag, chuckling at Dutch’s statement.

“You are a laugh riot, Dutch. I’ll call you!”

He left the room. Dutch was staring at the door before letting out a quick breath of mock laughter.

“Yep, simply hilarious.”


	7. Chapter 7

John looked down at his phone as his brother’s voicemail played for the tenth time. First it irritated him but then he actually started getting nervous because it wasn’t like his big brother to not pick up after the first ring if he saw it was him calling. He bit at his lip as he pondered whether to try again or wait until he returned his call. If he ever returned his call that is. As far as John was concerned, the only contact that was probably in Arthur’s phone was his and on speed dial no less. They kept in near constant communication when separated, especially on the rare occasions that John was home alone with their father. If wasn’t pressing they would just text each other. John would always send memes to Arthur during lunch and he would laugh with his friends at his brother’s confused response. He told John during a drive home once that those memes made him laugh even if he didn’t really understand most of them. That made him feel good.

What didn’t make him feel good was his brother who wasn’t picking up the phone. He told him that he was on his way to the school to pick him up, what if he got into an accident and the police were on their way to tell him that he died? What if he went home and their pa beat him so bad that he was a bloodied mess on the floor? It never gotten to that point before, but there was always a first time for everything. His phone didn’t go straight to voicemail each time so it wasn’t dead or broken. Maybe he should call him again.

“Charles.”

John looked up at the man that was lying in the hospital cot next to him with his leg propped up in the air.

“Huh?”

The man that identified himself as Charles was staring back at him with a small smile on his lips.

“My name’s Charles.”

John blinked.

“Okay.”

Charles not seeming to quit it kept talking. John was anxiously still staring at his phone screen, ignoring the several notifications he got for his favorite YouTuber.

“I just wasn’t sure if you heard when Mr. Summers said it to the front desk.”

John turned his attention back to Charles. His phone screen going black from inactivity.

“My whole name’s Charles Smith.”

“I see you around a lot, you one of our neighbors right?”

He nodded.

“Directly across the street from you.”

John hummed and quietly went back to his phone where he unlocked it again and started dialing in his brother’s number again. Charles watched silently as the boy put the phone to his ear. John pulled the phone from his ear after his brother’s voicemail again. He wanted to toss the phone across the room but he knew that it would be a long while before Arthur would have the money to get a new one, and he also wasn’t entirely eager to see his brother’s reaction to that either. He pocketed the phone and placed his head in his hand. As he tried not to think about his brother’s well-being. He also didn’t want to look at Charles because he felt horrible about the situation he was in. It was his fault that everyone was here. Why Lenny’s pa had to stop making dinner, and why Sean never got to play Fortnite like he wanted, and now he was the reason that Charles wasn’t sitting in his house enjoying his night. His eyes started burning from the brewing tears. He sucked in his breath and wiped furiously at his eyes, determined to not so much as let a single tear drop in front of Charles, a stranger in his opinion. Which got him to thinking about the fact that he shouted his name before the accident. The tears were forgotten now, but the apprehension was still there.

“How you know my name?”

Charles turned his attention to the TV in the room that was playing a cartoon after it was clear that John didn’t want to hold a conversation. His head turned back to the boy.

“Your brother and I used to go to school together.”

At the mention of his brother’s name he felt the urge to get his phone and call again. Charles face went straight before scrunching up his nose at some bad thought running through his head.

“Arthur…he ever mention me?”

“Nope.”

Charles looked hurt to hear that. John found himself perfectly confused.

“Arthur don’t got no friends. If he do he don’t talk about them much…or hang out with them.”

That tidbit of information didn’t look like it was cheering him up. John went quiet.

“It makes sense I guess. He spends most his time with you, right?”

John nodded. He knew that most people joked that the brothers were joined at the hip, he thought it was a stupid thing to be worried about. They enjoyed each other’s company, until Arthur tells him to give him some personal space. He never really does.

“I figured as much. He must be a good brother to you.”

“Only when he ain’t forcing me to eat vegetables and wash my hair.”

“John you have to wash your hair.”

“Says who? I read head lice don’t like dirty hair and I ain’t never had lice!”

Arthur always told him not to lie for no reason, but he didn’t want Charles to know that one, he’s terrified of water and two, that he had lice three times when he was younger. Sean gave him his hat during recess one time in winter. And then the other two times was because he just had bad luck.

“I don’t know enough about that to tell you you’re wrong, but I’m glad that Arthur is on top of that.”

His phone wasn’t vibrating. There were no dings for message alerts. Nothing, and he knew that he should just have patience but he wanted his brother. Lenny’s pa took the two boys to the cafeteria to get some food. Sean had been very vocal about not having dinner and Lenny, while politer about it, was inclined to agree. Mr. Summers gave in very quickly and asked if John wanted to come. He didn’t want to leave Charles alone either. He figured it would be mean of him to cause his injury and then leave him in a miserable place like this by himself so that he could chat with his friends over a meal. Charles had food brought to him by a nurse and picked at it. He ate the green beans and the ice cream but left the meatloaf and the mashed potatoes. His eyes lingered over to the uncovered plate and his stomach growled despite himself. Charles followed John’s eyes and when he saw what he was looking at he just smiled and pushed the cart over to himself.

“You can eat it, if you like. I had a lot to eat before I got here, but I don’t want it to go waste.”

John pushed the cart back over to him.

“No thanks.”

“You sure? I heard your stomach, sounds like you might want it.”

John didn’t grace him with a response. He knew that his family was poor but he wasn’t a charity case and Arthur told always told him not to take any handouts from anyone. Charles let out a sigh at the difficult eleven year old and left the cart where it was, focusing back on the television. The cartoon that was on was John’s favorite and he begrudgingly resigned himself to watching it. His pocket started vibrating and when he saw the caller id, he smiled for the first time since he got there. It was Arthur! He sounded worried and John felt slightly sorry for scaring him with all the missed calls. John could barely get a word in edge-wise when he told him that he was in the hospital not because he was hurt, but because Charles was hurt. After that disaster of a conversation, Arthur was on his way. John huffed and rested his head on the arm of the chair. Charles kept looking over at him and he just tried to sink further in.

It felt like an eternity since John called Arthur. That feeling of dread pooled in his stomach again as he thought about all the things that could go wrong on the way to the hospital. His friends came back upstairs with Lenny’s dad a sometime ago. Lenny was falling asleep on his dad’s arm, and Sean was out cold and drooling on his other one. Mr. Summers looked exhausted himself and John wondered about what he would do with the half-cooked dinner when he got home. It was close to ten already. The five of them waited in tired silence for a doctor to check on Charles again until Mr. Summer’s got a phone call. Lenny sat up as his dad reached in his pocket for his phone and answered it.

“Hello Mrs. MacGuire.”

John could hear a muffled woman’s voice.

“It is getting late, isn’t it? I’m with a young man who saved one of your son’s friends from being hit by a careless driver.”

The voice sounded curious and it raised a little in volume.

“Yeah nothing too serious, leg’s definitely broken, though.”

John and Charles winced at the casual way he said it. He was a doctor so this was probably nothing to him, but John didn’t like hearing it because all it did was make him feel like shit and he was sure Charles didn’t need to be reminded at the moment. Mr. Summer’s yawned and then looked down at the sleeping gremlin that was Sean MacGuire and nodded.

“He’s already asleep. I’ll see you soon, then.”

He hung up and sighed as he carefully moved so as not to wake the boy and gently scooped him up in his arms. Lenny slid off his chair and mimicked his father’s yawning spell before sleepily grabbing his hand.

“You said Arthur’s on the way, right?”

John nodded, praying that he would show up on cue. He set his disappointment aside.

“I have to take these boys home. My wife is going to kill me alongside with Sean’s mom for having them out so late, it is a school night, after all. Call me when the doctor shows up.”

He looked over at Charles.

“She’s just going to tell you what’s wrong with your leg and then send you home, alright?”

He nodded. John felt like his throat was constricting and the only thing that was going to come out if he tried to speak was a sob. Mr. Summers offered a comforting smile to the injured man and then gave John a lazy parting hair ruffle.

“You’re welcome at our house anytime, John.”

His silence let the three know that it was time to leave. Lenny waved at his friend before they were completely gone from the room. John felt himself shaking and wishing for his brother to come. They were all that tired because of him, because he was too stupid and didn’t know how to grab a ball. He shouldn’t have just stood there he had time to move out of the way. Why did Charles have to be a hero? He felt the first tear drop and then the second and soon he was furiously wiping at his eyes so Charles wouldn’t know that he was crying. It was embarrassing, he was embarrassed.

“John, what’s wrong?”

He knew his brother’s voice anywhere. He looked at the doorway and saw Arthur walking in making a beeline right toward him, concern written all over his face in bolded capital letter. John didn’t let himself cry until he felt his brother’s large arms wrap around him. His hand was petting his head while his face was buried in Arthur’s shoulder. He sniffled and sobbed, he felt his body being swayed side-to-side.

“Why you crying?”

Arthur’s voice was soft, he was always careful to not upset the boy further. John pulled away and cleaned his face again before collecting himself enough to answer. Charles was sat up in the bed, just as worried about John’s sudden outburst.

“It’s my fault ain’t it?”

“What are you talking about?” Charles asked. Arthur kept stroking his hair.

“It’s my fault you like that, and why we here in the first place! I was stupid and I should’ve seen the car coming, but I didn’t and you did and you tried to be a hero and now you hurt!”

Arthur looked up at Charles. He was bent at his brother’s level, trying to soothe the boy as best he could, but when he saw that wasn’t working, he gave the other teen a pleading face.

“If you were the one driving then I’d  agree, but John, the only person that’s to blame is the driver and no one else. I saw what happened and you might remember it differently but that car was going a lot faster than you think, I barely made it in time.”

John was sniffling as he listened intently to Charles.

“My leg will heal. I’ve broken bones before so this isn’t my first time dealing with this either. I’m glad to have my leg messed up in place of your life, John. It could have been much worse than what it was, if you ask me this was the best case scenario.”

John wiped his nose.

“So…you ain’t mad at me?”

Charles pressed his lips together in warm smile and shook his head.

“Of course not.”

John was still crying, but the feeling didn’t seem to pressing anymore. Arthur started wiping the tears from his cheek and smiled too.

“Imagine how I’d feel coming to this hospital to be told you died instead of Charles breaking a leg. I’d be crushed, John.”

“I know, Arthur.”

Arthur pulled him into another hug. This time he rubbed calming circles in his back while his cries died down. Apparently, through all the tears his stomach didn’t forget that it was empty and let out a growl to effectively squash the moment that the three of them were having. Arthur pulled back quickly and looked at John’s stomach.

“You ain’t eat nothing?”

“I tried offering him my food but he didn’t want to eat.”

“How you feeling now?”

John attempted his own smile too and said, “Hungry.”

The two teens laughed, glad that his mood was on the mend and Arthur grabbed the plate and gave it to John, taking a seat next to him while he tore through the cold mashed potatoes and lukewarm meatloaf.


	8. Chapter 8

John made quick work of the hospital dinner and for dessert he was doing homework while Arthur carded his fingers through his hair and watched as his brother worked on his English homework and finished with math work that frustrated him. Arthur tried to help as best he could, John was getting flustered after a while and to calm him down, Arthur just told him to put it away and he would explain to the teacher what happened in the morning. For the second time that night John was placated by his brother’s words and rewarded his big brother with his snoring body in his lap. He got tired of sitting in the hospital chair and complained that it was too uncomfortable.

“My body’s comfier than a chair, John?”

“Yeah cause you fat.”

Arthur pinched him on the cheek for that, and then he was slapped back by John and after the most amusing three minutes of Charles’ life, he watched as they somehow fought quietly and then John knocked out cold, with his head resting on his brother’s chest when he was done. Arthur didn’t look too pleased at the barb but he kept petting John’s head trying to keep him asleep and calm. When Charles yawned, Arthur turned his attention to him.

“How long you been here, Charles?”

“Since five or six at least.”

“I don’t get why they call it an emergency room if they gonna make you wait like you had an appointment.”

“It’s just a way to get the most money out of us. But what can you do?”

“Not go.” Arthur deadpanned under his breath. He blushed when it seemed like Charles heard it. They let a few moments of comfortable silence past them before conversation picked up again.

“How scared was he?”

Charles’ brows furrowed at the odd question.

“What?”

Arthur’s voice raised high enough so that he would be at chatting level, but John would stay asleep. Arthur’s eyes darted between Charles’ and down at his sleeping brother so that the bedridden man would get the gist. Charles’ mouth formed an O at the silent realization and nodded.

“He was scared enough that he didn’t eat until you came here.”

Arthur looked dismayed to hear that and he bent his neck so that he could look closely at John’s face. His mouth was hanging open and he was snoring lightly. Arthur sighed and kissed the top of the boy’s forehead.

“He don’t do too well if he think he in trouble, and I don’t mean with teachers or nothing, I mean with me or Lenny’s pa, people that he like. If he were giving you a hard time please tell me and I’ll talk with him about it in the morning, but he been through a lot today and I don’t like that he were sitting here scared.”

“I tried to talk to him, to distract him while you were coming. I saw the way he was getting himself worked up about you not answering and the last thing you needed to come here to was John about to have a panic attack…but it seems like I didn’t do as well as I thought.”

Arthur couldn’t help but feel a little bad for Charles. If there was ever any doubt that he was a dog owner, the puppy face he pulled was absolutely spot-on and the only conclusion Arthur could come to was that he spent many hours learning from his dog.

“Nah, you did fine, John just got…he got problems with his nerves, gets real anxious and such. He been like that since he was younger.”

Arthur gave him a face that let Charles know that he wasn’t going to talk more on the subject. Even more than his father, the teen was deathly afraid of the state coming in between him and his brother by taking John away to foster care. He wouldn’t last long away from Arthur, and truth be told Arthur wouldn’t last long without him.

“You sure it’s just John with nervous problems?”

Arthur tried and failed to not look offended.

“Excuse me?”

“Well I just mean…you’re holding him so tight I can’t believe he’s breathing.”

Arthur’s brows rose and when he got another look at his little brother he saw that Charles was right. He had both his arms wrapped around John’s much smaller body. He tends to forget about his strength and he knew that if John wasn’t so tired he would’ve woken up and made a fuss about being smothered. He let up and saw the boy’s body relax too. John yawned and curled up even more in his lap. Arthur was embarrassed and worried about what Charles thought about the two of them. He knew that Charles heard the rumors about him from school, and part of him was aching to know if he believed them. But he couldn’t give himself away so he tried to carefully school his face into something unreadable. Charles turned his attention back to the TV and Arthur saw the way he yawned and settled himself into the bed. His leg must be hurting him.

“I’m going to get a doctor. You been here long enough and I got to take John home before he got to miss school.”

“That would be a good thing to a middle-schooler, right?”

Arthur hesitated and he felt his arms tightening again, even though Charles just made a joke about it. John hated being in their house and school was the only way he was able to be away from it for an extended amount of time. He was still too young to go many places by himself, and Arthur really couldn’t take any days off from work because that could mean that the boys would go without food for the week and he would be damned if he asked any of the neighbors for dinner. Short answer, the blond shook his head.

“John like going to school. He even try to go when he sick as a dog.”

Charles hummed and let Arthur settle John onto the chair before going to fetch a doctor. He found an older man with grey hair and tiny round glasses that were resting on the bridge of his large nose. He looked inconvienced by Arthur’s approach.

“Yes what is the problem?” The doctor sounded German.

“Oh I’m sorry sir I ain’t mean to bother you but…I got a friend, a patient named Charles Smith waiting. He broke his leg earlier and he been waiting a long time for a doctor.”

The doctor whose ID read as Leopold Strauss rolled his eyes and let out a long exhale.

“Go back to your friend, I will return with the x-rays.”

Arthur really just wanted to sock the doctor in the face, but that wasn’t going to get him anywhere in a situation like this. He went back to the room, Charles had dozed off in the short time he was away. Arthur smiled at the sight of Charles and John fast asleep. Charles looked like he wanted to be lying on his side, and maneuvered as best he could to be comfortable while not agitating his injury anymore. His face was soft and his mouth hung open slightly, he didn’t explicitly snore but his little sharp breaths came close. His large muscular arms were crossed and Arthur had to hold back a laugh at how serious he looked asleep. It wasn’t much different from when he was awake, he remembered that Charles was known for his serious face and just as loved for his smiling one. He always made sure to give Arthur some sort of a smile if their eyes met. It was always a welcomed change from the other looks that the students gave him. Fear mixed with hatred and sprinkled in were the looks of arousal that he somehow managed to get despite his general poor reputation.

John, on the other hand was uncomfortable, and even though he was deep in his sleep, Arthur knew that boy like the back of his hand. His nose was scrunched up and his eyes were shut extra tight. His mouth was fixed into a frown that would surely stick like that if Arthur didn’t intervene soon. He always found it funny though, that John was a few years shy of being a teenager himself, but the boy still slept like a baby. Part of Arthur worried that it was because he babied him. He just wanted John to know that he was loved and that he had someone looking out for him, and with John being a bit more fragile when it came to anxiety and panic he always tried to keep his mind quiet and calm. When John stirred Arthur swooped in to save him like he always did. Soon, John was back in Arthur’s arms, safe and secure, and went back to absent-mindedly shoving his face in his brother’s broad chest. He couldn’t help but worry that his uniform was stinking up the whole room like it did with Dutch’s dorm, and the last thing he wanted was for John’s face to be covered in the stench of french fry and mcnugget grease because he was too stupid to bring clothes to change out of. He made a mental reminder to call Dutch and let him know that everything was alright. He would have to do that in the car or when they were home because right now the two sleeping boys were his priority. Especially the little one curled up in his arms.

Arthur looked back over at Charles and saw that he was definitely asleep, so any room for conversation was over and he wasn’t sure if he was glad for it or not. This was the first time he’d talked to Charles in a long time that wasn’t just a passing greeting or a quick conversation made of small talk. Arthur thinks it’s stupid but he thinks they really hadn’t truly spoken since they met in kindergarten. His memory of his childhood is spotty at best. It was smatterings of him and his mother and the distant hugs and kisses that she used to shower on him, mostly. It hurts too much to keep them as more than that, he always saved them on the nights before John where his father’s punishments were worse than usual. But he remembers Charles. He can recollect nearly every memory they had during the height of their friendship, the memory that he cherished the most was the of them first meeting.

His mom had to sneak the car out of their driveway so that she could get him to his first day of school, they were already late. Arthur woke up to the sound of his parent’s arguing, it was cheaper than buying an alarm clock. His mother was yelling at Lyle because he was supposed to drive him to school, but Lyle clearly chose to come back trashed instead. His dad was yelling at his mom to get off his back and to take “the little shithead” to school herself. She gave up after he threw the third insult at Arthur and stormed out of the room. He heard the door slamming and his mother’s feet stomping towards his door. He was still lying in his bed when she came in, entering like she wasn’t trying to wake the devil. He felt the side of his bed dip and her soft, warm hands smoothing back his bedhead. She cooed his name, so unlike his father would just shake him until he was awake. She smiled at him and he thought that he would be able to have the closest thing to a normal day. But Arthur ruined it because he didn’t know how to button his shirt. He was too rough, too excited to start school for the first time and be able to leave the house. He missed one of the holes and when he noticed, he tugged too hard and his button came off. He was scared to tell his mother that he ruined the shirt she bought for him and so he cried. He stood in the bathroom and put his little hands to his eyes and he wept because he wasn’t going to be able to go to school, his mom would be upset, and it was all his fault. He tried to cry quietly but it didn’t work, his dad was mad at both the button and him, so Arthur went to school with a black eye and a broken button. His mother kissed him and hugged him and rocked him in the car before he got out. She told him that he was still better off going to school than being alone with him. She sent him on his way with the promise of ice cream and a trip to the park after school. The kids were already playing with each other. The day already started and they already made their friends and he was going to be alone there too. Except, one student saw him walk into the class and came over to greet him.

“My name’s Charles.”

He wasn’t overeager, he wasn’t teasing, he was being nice. The very first time someone other than his mother was to him. He was too scared and didn’t take Charles’ hand. When Charles saw that, Arthur was prepared to let this possible friend come and leave because he was just too awful, but then Charles smiled at him. He was missing teeth.

“Do you…want a hug then?”

Arthur was floored when he heard the question. This was his first time meeting the other kids and someone already wanted to hug him? He was stunned into accepting and Charles wrapped him in a tight, childish embrace.

“What’s your name?”

“Arthur Morgan.”

He could still remember the exact way Charles squeezed him when he introduced himself. A proper welcome to school and to the world. A much kinder one than he was expecting. If he closed his eyes, he could still hear the smile in Charles’ voice when he said, “It’s very nice to meet you, Arthur.”

Arthur cried then he still cried now just thinking about it.

“Arthur, you alright?”

He looked and saw Charles looking at him with concern. He sniffled and quickly wiped at his face, attempting an awkward smile while he did it. He checked the top of John’s head for any tears and when he saw the boy was dry he let him rest on his chest again. Charles grabbed some of the tissues from the box on the night stand and handed them to Arthur who graciously accepted.

“Sorry I just…just thinking.”

Charles clearly wasn’t satisfied with this answer but he let it sit in the air for a minute and the blond couldn’t be more grateful. He was dabbing at his eyes and hating himself for crying like this twice in one day. He didn’t know Dr. Strauss was in the room until he heard him clear this throat.

“I can come back if you’d like.”

Arthur spoke before Charles could.

“That’s alright, doctor, I were just being…being ridiculous.”

He could see Charles out the corner of his, clearly distressed at his tears and it made him feel worse because he could never tell him why he cried about their first meeting in the middle of a hospital. Strauss wasn’t interested and flipped a page on his clipboard, briefly asking if the insurance went through before giving his diagnosis. Arthur and Charles both scowled at the man, but Charles confirmed that this was paid for and then Strauss went ahead.

“Your tibia is fractured, a stable one so that is good for you, but stay off it and rest for about four to six months. You’ll come back during the recovery time so that we can change your cast and see how it’s healing. Anything you want to ask?”

Arthur looked and saw that what was supposed to be good news looked earth-shattering to the injured teen. He was glad that John was asleep because he would have for sure cried again at the devastation apparent on Charles’ face. Charles just shook his head and Strauss left to get him cleared to leave. As soon as the doctor was gone, Arthur felt desperate to make him feel better any way he could, to ease the burden that he and his brother have once again placed on another.

“I can drive you home!”

Charles looked surprised.

“You would do that?”

“We live across the street from each other Charles, and besides it’s the least I can do for saving my brother today.”

Relief rushed through his body as he saw that familiar softening of Charles’ face, and the laugh lines around his mouth deepening. He smiled, and Arthur couldn’t help but smile back.


	9. Chapter 9

When the doctor came in with the wheelchair, Charles blushed and Arthur giggled. 

“I don’t…really have to use that thing, right?” 

Dr. Strauss rolled his eyes and sighed. 

“It is hospital procedure.” 

And he walked out, effectively shutting down any room for more talking. Arthur had his hand over his mouth to keep Charles from seeing his smile, but Charles knew he was smiling anyway and couldn’t help but let out a breath of laughter at that. Arthur always did like his smile. He got up and made sure the chair is was comfortable enough to be sat in before he moved to help Charles sit in it. Charles was definitely as strong as he remembered. 

“You good?” 

Charles groaned, “Just embarrassed.”  
“What for? It’s just me Charles I ain’t no one special.” 

Charles looked up at him and Arthur was worried because he wasn’t smiling. 

“You really think that?” 

He was unsure of how to respond. He didn’t want to make Charles unhappy, but he didn’t know what to say. Was he supposed to say anything at all? He ducked his eyes away and looked at the wall instead. 

“Sure…”, he was trying to hide his nervousness, “I’m just the brother of the kid you saved. No more no less.” 

Charles’ eyes looked downcast before he left the topic alone and stared at John who was still knocked out on the chair. Arthur felt bad and couldn’t help but think that Charles was looking at John because he thought the boy never got sleep to be so tired as to sleep in a hospital chair. 

“Oh don’t you worry about him, he get his eight hours…he just growing.” 

Charles looked thankful for the information but confused. 

“I…was just going to ask you if you wanted me to hold him?” 

And then Arthur felt so stupid all over again. Charles didn’t know too much about John, at the time he was born they were settled into being acquaintances and so there wasn’t any need for Arthur to introduce him to his brother. That was also the time of his life where he didn’t really want anyone to see him that wasn’t his infant sibling. He knew that his father’s behavior was unfavored with the neighborhood, but he doesn’t think Charles ever knew to the extent that behavior was, and he always tried his hardest to keep that from him the most, but here he was acting suspicious and dumb. There Charles went being nice to him again. 

“O-oh, uh, yes…thank you.” 

Charles took the young boy in his arms and swiftly, Arthur couldn’t have done it better himself, took the boy in his lap. John barely twitched. Arthur normally didn’t like when someone other than himself, John’s friends, or adults they trusted, touched John. But Charles was being gentle with him. So gentle that John probably thought it was Arthur again and put his head on the man’s shoulder, facing towards Charles’. His mouth was gaping open and he was drooling a little bit. Arthur grimaced at how ugly he was when he slept and he was sure to tell him in the morning what a goblin he is, but first he grabbed a tissue from the box and wiped at the boy’s face. 

“Disgusting. I’m sorry, Charles, I can…” 

“It’s okay Arthur. I have a dog, I’ve had worse things on me.” 

Arthur was still apprehensive about it, but when Charles looked at him and his face looked genuine, his concern fizzled to appreciation. Charles yawned and the blond was suddenly reminded that it was past midnight and everyone was tired. He turned the chair around and started wheeling towards the door, thankful when they passed the threshold of the room. In the hallway, he saw Charles give John's leg a few pats of comfort absent-mindedly. When they got to the desk Arthur gave them a polite goodbye before exiting the hospital completely and wheeling him to his car. He loaded John in the backseat so that he could sleep better, and helped Charles hobble his way into the passenger seat. When the wheelchair was returned and the nurses were thanked, Arthur assumed his position in the driver’s seat. Thankfully, the radio was low. John was always a menace to put back to sleep. They pulled out of the parking lot, Charles had his elbow resting on the spot just before the door gave way to window, his fist was resting on his temple. 

“Ain’t you gonna say something?” 

Charles’ yawned again and shook his head. 

“Sorry, Arthur, I’m tired.” 

“Nah, I mean about me and John.” 

That got the passenger’s attention enough to make him look over. He could see when they passed street lights out of the corner of his eye. 

“I know what folk say about us. Them jokes they be making about me acting like his mama, us being attached at the hip. Some one asked me a few months ago if he were my son and not my brother at all. You saw it first-hand…you don’t think all that, do you?” 

He saw that Charles looked sad, but he wasn’t going to take any pity from him, even if he was injured. He just wanted his opinion, not sympathy. He had enough of that to last him a life time. 

“No I don’t.” 

That came at a surprise to him. Usually anyone that knew Arthur and John always made some passing remark about how close they were. How Arthur babies John and made him the way he is now. But Charles didn’t think that way? 

“…why?” 

“What I think is that you have a little brother who loves you very much, and I don’t know too much about you but it seems like your father isn’t the most reliable person around. I used to see you two when John was a baby, and he always look happiest with you. I think however attached you two are to each other ain’t my business and no one else’s either.” 

Arthur didn’t want to say it but his heart was touched and it was refreshing to hear after years of townsfolk whispering misgivings about them no matter what he did. He always wondered it was like to be famous, to have people know who you were and chat to each other about you. He figured that if fame was what he had in the town he would rather be the nobody everyone says he is. 

“Thank you, Charles.”

Charles hummed and let some silence come in between them. Arthur turned another corner and saw Charles move again. 

“So...about McDonald's...”

Arthur's cheeks got hot and he sucked his teeth just thinking about it. It was hard to believe that all that happened earlier that day, or yesterday, rather. 

“That…don't think too much about that, see…we got a new coworker at my job and we was just chatting. Her name’s Sadie Adler, she married and I were curious and I told her that I had a boyfriend and then you…” 

“I showed up.” 

“The Lord sure gave you the gift of good timing.” Arthur tried to joke but Charles seemed put out by it. He just couldn't seem to make him happy tonight. The only sound was John's soft snores in the back and whenever they hit a red light Arthur would check on him in the backseat. He was truly done for the night and it made him feel bad that he was so shaken up about it all that he tuckered himself out to this point. Charles was looking out the window and he didn't care much about the music playing at the moment. 

“His name, Dutch.” 

Charles scoffed. 

“What kind of a name is Dutch?” 

Arthur laughed too but because he wasn't sure if Charles was poking fun or not.

“It's a funny name, I know I laughed at him too when he first told me. Don't think it's his real name though. His whole name Dutch van der Linde.” 

“…He’s the one that gave you those hickies then, right?” 

Arthur's eyes widened and he immediately clapped a hand to the side of his neck. He didn't realize that somewhere along the way his buttons weren't buttoned up all the way and his neck was exposed. Dutch really wasn't gentle this time, it was like he knew that he was going to see another man. He felt embarrassed that Charles saw them though and Charles seemed to pick up on that. 

“Sorry, sorry I shouldn't have said anything about them. That was rude.” 

Arthur unlatched his hand and slowly moved to button the last two buttons. He was trying not to make the air uncomfortable, but his panicking about them wasn't making anything better. He swallowed and gave a shaky smile. 

“You're fine, I shouldn't be so careless about my appearance. That's what Dutch always be telling me.” 

He chuckled but seeing Charles once again humorless made him stop. 

“I don't think you're careless about your appearance, I think you just got a lot to deal with that's more important.” 

Once again Arthur was thrown for a loop by all the things coming out of Charles' mouth. He didn't know what he was expecting, they weren't friends and they haven’t been since kindergarten. There was nothing to talk about because they both led different lives. Charles could talk about what's happened in school since he left but he already cried in front of him and he didn't want to do it again. Charles probably thought he was pathetic enough. Arthur could talk to him about…work mostly since that was all he did. The most fun he had all week was playing celebrity chefs with John and on Monday they were finally able to watch television for longer than thirty minutes and so the boys watched Alice in Wonderland but John got scared of the Cheshire cat so they switched to Peter Pan. Arthur didn't care much for the scenes with the Native Americans so he fast forwarded it, John started imitating them and he had to have a long talk about why that wasn't good. John heard about half the lecture before he ran to the kitchen screaming for the bag of chips on top the fridge. It was a nice change from John's usual begging for mac and burgers. 

“That girl that was with you, Sadie. She your friend?” 

Arthur would like to say yes but they only knew each other for a day. 

“Right now she more a coworker than a friend but she seems nice. Why?” 

Charles shrugged and moved back into the seat, facing forward with his arms crossed coolly across his chest. 

“No reason. It's just…well, when I was talking with John he just said you ain't have any friends.” 

Arthur's face fell at the comment. Guess there was no illusion about it now, he definitely was pathetic to Charles. He sank back into his chair, a sudden need to disappear filled through him and if his brother wasn't sleeping, he would've turned the radio up. They were almost home, he just had to last a little bit longer. 

“John don't know much about my friends.” 

“Arthur, it's okay if you don't.” 

“Everyone already think I’m a loser.” 

“Right, but everyone’s miserable and they like seeing other people just as unhappy as them. Don't worry about them so much.” 

“It's easy to say that when you got friends and everyone like you. I'm lucky to even have a boyfriend like Dutch. He kind to me, and he like me and that's more than I can say about a lot of folk.” 

Arthur really wasn't trying to sound upset, but Charles' words irked him for reasons he couldn't and didn't want to understand. A lot of the things that happened to him were really not his choice, but everyone made him seem like they were. Dutch wasn't like that, at least, not to Arthur. 

Charles looked like he wanted to say more about that, but he sighed and Arthur was glad for it. When they were a block away, Arthur felt his phone vibrating. He checked real quick and saw that it was none other than Dutch calling, like he knew he was being talked about. He couldn't answer the phone so he let it go to voicemail. They pulled up to Charles’ house. There was no car besides his in the driveway. 

“How come your folks ain't home?” 

Charles looked nonchalant and waved a hand towards his house. 

“My dad's a lawyer. He stays late at his office a lot, he started spending most of his nights there when I got old enough to be left alone.” 

“You told him you went to the hospital?” 

“I'll tell him in the morning, right now I gotta worry about Copper, I wasn't able to walk him for hours. Ugh, there's probably piss and shit all over the house now.” 

Charles put a hand over his face just thinking about the mess in his house and Arthur didn't want him to despair for another moment. 

“You ain't able to walk him now, and you definitely ain't in no condition to be cleaning his mess. If you give me a moment, I can drop John off in the house and come help you.” 

Charles took his hand off his face.

“I can't ask you to do all that. I’m not complaining…I'm just…” 

“Complaining”, Arthur laughed, “Charles I already told you it's my thanks for saving John. Now let me thank you!” 

Arthur was unbuckling Charles' seat belt so he couldn't see his face but when he finished he looked up at him, still smiling from the joke and closer to Charles' face than he knew. They froze and then his smile faltered as he took in the personal space he was invading. Blue-green met brown eyes as silence enveloped the car, the music and John's snoring forgotten. Arthur's phone dinged twice and he was brought back to his senses. Charles blinked twice and took his belt off the rest of the way. Arthur cleared his throat and unbuckled his own. Charles looked at Arthur with an unreadable face again. Then he looked back at John. 

“You can bring him in the house…I can watch him while you walk Copper.” 

“Oh…well…I…” 

He felt Charles' firm grasp on his shoulder and then his hand squeezed it. 

“It's really okay, Arthur.” 

Arthur gave a sheepish smile and nodded. 

“Okay.” 

Charles finally smiled for the first time that car ride. 

“Okay.”

 


	10. Chapter 10

Arthur helped Charles inside, and sat him down on the couch.

“Do your leg hurt? Need any medicine?”

Arthur was fluffing up the pillows and when he finally caught sight of Charles’ he saw this lazy smile spread across and the teen’s eyes fixed pointedly on his own face. He felt his cheeks get rosy from the heat of embarrassment. He coughed into his hand to break the awkward silence.

“I’m sorry I don’t mean to…you know be babying you…It’s just um…”

He was looking around the room like the answer would be plastered on one of the walls. He didn’t know what to say, he felt like a fool. He was so used to asking John these questions so in the moment he forgot that Charles was as old as him!

“It’s alright, Arthur.”

“John always…getting himself all banged up…”

“John’s still in the car, too.” Charles giggled. Arthur’s jaw dropped and he let out a gasp as he sped off to get his brother from the car. It would be awful of him to have his brother wake up alone and not in a bed. When he got to the car, John was still slumped. He was lying on his back and Arthur sighed. There would have been hell to pay if he woke up. Carefully, he retrieved his brother from the car and walked back into the house, settling him on the two empty cushions next to Charles. There was a blanket draped over the side and Charles went and covered him up with it. There were decorative pillows on both of the couches and the one armchair his family owned. Arthur moved his hand under his brother’s head and slowly lifted it up to slide the pillow under it. John hummed when he felt the material under his head. Arthur bent down and fondly stroked his head and smiled at the sight of contentment on his brother’s face. He pressed a soft kiss to his head and rose back up, his eyes still locked on John’s sleeping form. Charles gave his hip a few gentle pats, to Arthur they looked reassuring.

“Thank you again, Charles.”

Charles was going to say something but then his nose twitched and he sniffed in the air.

“Yeah, Copper definitely shat.”

Arthur huffed and his shoulders sagged when he remembered why he was here in the first place. He looked around the home. It was dark but he could see the saffron yellow walls, lined and decorated with pictures of Charles and his family, along with some of his more impressive awards and trophies on display in a tiny case on top of a counter closest to the entrance from the moonlight pouring through the opened door. The white-painted stairs were directly next to the living room and upstairs was pitch black. He wished his house looked half as nice as this. He noticed all of that, but no dog.

“You think he’s upstairs?”

“Maybe. He likes to go to my room and get huffy. Copper!”

Charles did a short whistle, careful not to wake John up.

“Copper!” He shouted in a whisper. After the second call, there came the sound of nails against a wooden floor. There was thumping on the steps and then a red hound came bounding off the last step, tail wagging happily and tongue lolled out. Panting at the sight of its owner. Charles laughed and smacked the arm of the couch so that Copper knew he was allowed to run over and so he did. He jumped up, placing his front two paws on the arm of the sofa and enthusiastically licking his face. Charles was putting minimal effort from getting the dog to stop giving him cheek kisses. Arthur laughed too, covering his mouth as he did it. When Copper decided that enough was enough, he went over to Arthur and he happily obliged and offered his hand to be sniffed. When Copper was sufficiently satisfied, he hopped on Arthur’s lap and tried to give him kisses too, Arthur settled for head pats.

“Okay Copper simmer down. Don’t wake John!” Charles hushed the command. The dog obediently sat down and when all was settled Arthur pointed to the stairs.

“Is it alright if I check your room? I know you said he get a bit vindictive and it’s possible he could’ve…”

Charles gasped and said, “Copper how could you?!” utter betrayal in his voice. Copper boofed. Charles wore a fixed frown on his face, but he had to give Arthur the directions to the room.

“The last door on your left.”

Arthur nodded and turned his phone’s flashlight on, and started heading up the stairs. He followed the directions and came into a pitch black room, the stink of shit overwhelming. Arthur paled but it followed the sudden desire to laugh. Copper was petty! He felt around the wall next to the room and turned on the light. Charles’ room was painted sage. His bed was a double, it was in the middle of his room, a window to right of his head. On the right side of the bed was his desk, pushed up against the wall. It had a wooden chair, his laptop that was opened and had its camera covered by a piece of tape, and a few textbooks and comic books scattered around it. On the other side of his bed was his dresser. There was a nightstand next to his desk. It was clean, except for the alarm clock and the lamp on it.  At the foot of the bed, against the wall and next to the closet was a flat-screened television complete with game consoles and so many games for them that John would probably pass out if he saw it.

Arthur saw that Charles’ closet was opened, and there was a sneaker that was pulled out from it with a big hunk of turd nestled safely inside. He gagged, it smelled like death and he was reconsidering doing this favor for him. He picked the shoe up and held his breath the entire way down. He saw Charles follow his, what probably looked like, very animated disgust, with carrying the poop shoe out of the house and tossing it into one of the garbage cans out front. When the turd was safely disposed of, Arthur got his breath and walked back inside, closing the door behind him. He flipped the switch and Charles was staring at him equal parts horrified, and upset at his dog.

“Copper that was my favorite shoe!”

Copper looked like he could give less than a shit. Even less than the one that he _already_ gave. Arthur shook his head.

“I think he knew that, Charles.”

Charles groaned and looked back up at the light source upstairs.

“That was all of it right?”

“If he shat in there he definitely pissed too. I’ll go look more.”

Arthur dutifully went back into ground zero again and with much more ease than the poo, he found a puddle of dog piss right where it looked like Charles would put his feet to get into his bed.

“This dog is truly something else!”

He was glad for Charles that he didn’t have carpeted floor, tastelessness aside. He headed back downstairs and saw Charles anxiously awaiting the news. Arthur kind of felt bad for confirming it.

“I’ll still take him for a walk just in case he got a bit more left. Where y’all cleaning supplies so I can wipe that up real quick?”

“In the kitchen, under the cupboard in the sink. You can get the leash from off the rack next to the backdoor too!”

The entrance to the kitchen was behind the couch. He went inside and saw the leash and the sink. He grabbed the spray and a worn white washcloth and rushed up the stairs to tackle the puddle on the floor. He cleaned it, and then the area around the bed, alongside the closet to disinfect the targeted spots. He went down the hall and opened what he thought was the bathroom door. He was glad that he was correct. There was air freshener on top of the toilet and he quickly grabbed it up and gave Charles’ room a once over before deeming his work done. He headed back down the stairs to put the things away when he heard Charles giving Copper a peptalk.

“Listen, don’t give Arthur a hard time, understand? He’s doing a very nice thing for the both of us and we want him to keep coming back.”

Arthur gave a little hop off the last step to alert Charles to his presence. Charles looked startled but then schooled his face again. He probably thought that Arthur didn’t hear what he said. He just smiled at the sitting teen and quickly exchanged cleaning supplies for a leash. He bent down and was happy that Copper immediately ran over to him, excited to go outside.

“That’s a good boy, Copper! I’ll just…get this thing on you now…”

He put the leash on and when Copper looked secured and comfortable he flashed a thumbs-up at the dog.

“I’ll walk him around the block twice and then come back, alright?”

Charles nodded and then Arthur and Copper were on their way, or rather, Copper was on his way and Arthur was just the unfortunate attachment. He had a firm grip on the leash or else Copper would have been gone the minute they left and that stress wouldn’t be good for Charles’ healing. So far the dog was just enjoying the night breeze as opposed to looking for somewhere to use the bathroom. Arthur suspected that he already did what he had to do. He didn’t know much about caring for a dog, his father would surely kill him if he ever tried to bring an animal into the house and say something about there being three animals in the house. He always wanted a puppy. He would even settle for a cat if that was the only option. Copper stopped at the corner and walked over to the poor unfortunate house that was going to be marked for dominance. Arthur picked the dog’s decision-making time to return Dutch’s call. He saw that Dutch left a message but he opted to read it if he couldn’t reach him by phone. He was usually up at this time, but if it was finals week and graduation, then he might be sleeping. He swiped on Dutch’s id and put the phone to his ear.

One ring. Two rings. Three rings. Four rings. Five…he picked up.

“Hello?”

He sounded like he was asleep and Arthur bit at the nail on his thumb realizing that he woke him up for no reason.

“Hi hon.”

“Arthur, I was asleep.” His voice sounded tired and irritated at being woken up out of his sleep.

“I’m sorry, I was just returning your call from earlier.”

Dutch grumbled incoherently and there was shifting coming from the other line. Copper finished squeezing out some urine before bouncing along his walking route.

“You still with that Charles boy, or are you and John home?”

Arthur hesitated at first. He thought about lying for a split second, but then he knew that Dutch would catch him in that lie and it would make his frustration worse and that would be his night ruined and Arthur’s problem in the morning. He sighed. Either way was a lose-lose situation he guessed.

“No, we ain’t home. Charles broke his leg real bad and he were on his way to walk his dog but he can’t do that so well right now so I thought that I’d…I’d help him. A repayment for saving John.” He chuckled. The silence from the other line let him know that Dutch did not find that amusing.

“Do you ‘walk dogs’ often at half-past midnight, Arthur?”

He tightened his hold on the phone, not really in the mood for a needless fight. But they never got that far.

“Not usually. You think I would do this cause I feel like it? It’s a favor, Dutch, that’s all. I got work in the morning and John got school. I ain’t even had a nap before I left you earlier, I’m bone-tired!”

There was more silence. Arthur sighed.

“Besides, why would I call you if I just finished cheating on you, hon? Does that make a lick of sense to you? Look, you can even hear Copper panting.”

He took the phone from his ear and put it right next to Copper’s mouth. The dog was blissfully unaware of what was going on but obliging nonetheless. When he put his phone back to his ear he heard Dutch let out an exasperated sigh, the air crackling against the receiver of his phone.

“I’m…sorry, Arthur. Alright? It’s…it’s the damn stress of finals week. I took twenty credits semester, did you know? We ain’t been seeing too much of each other this semester.”

Now that Arthur listened closely, Dutch did sound like he was bothered by something. He frowned at how worn down his lover sounded. His fires were cooling as he considered what Dutch was going through. He was right, since the beginning of the semester they saw each other less and less. Dutch and Hosea were always holed away in their room working on their classwork and projects. Hosea even told Arthur that they only went to two of the campus parties that happened every weekend because they were so swamped with work. Arthur didn’t have much social media but he had Hosea and Dutch and John on Snapchat. It was John’s insistence that he had one and they spent nearly an hour just playing with the filters on it after he downloaded it. Hosea used it mainly to sneak videos of Dutch looking absolutely atrocious while asleep or doing something stupid. He saved all of them. He and Dutch had Snapchat sex more than they did physically over the course of the three month semesters.

“Are you being cranky with me because you miss me?”

Dutch laughed and it made the butterflies in Arthur’s stomach flutter. Copper was sniffing around at a fire hydrant. The streets were completely empty, he enjoyed that.

“I guess I am, my dear boy.”

Arthur’s cheeks flushed and he let out a giggle at the affirmation.

“Well…I suppose I could make some more time for you in my busy schedule.”

“That’d be mighty kind of you, mighty kind of you indeed.”

Arthur decided to turn on the charm to end this conversation strong.

“I’ll think about it.” He laughed again. He could almost hear Dutch’s smiling on the other end.

“Don’t worry, I’ll be asleep while I wait. Can’t believe he got you walking his dog…”

“Good night, hon.”

Dutch was laughing now and while it was at Arthur’s expense, he was glad to hear the sound.

“Good night, my dear boy.”

Dutch hung up first. He always hung up first, even if it sounded like Arthur had something to say, so the teen just learned how to keep their conversations short and sweet. Dutch liked that best. Copper let out a bark and Arthur jumped with how loud it was on a such a quiet street. The dog was poised for attack and staring across the street. He followed the dog’s line of sight and saw that he was just barking at a squirrel minding its business. He was less than impressed.

“Shhh…come on boy, you bout to wake all these folk up and I would prefer you not spend the night in the pound. Your owner been through enough.”

Copper looked like he was considering yanking Arthur across the street with him while he chased after the defenseless animal, but he stayed. Likely, remembering his orders from Charles. Arthur’s body rumbled with a chuckle.

“Good boy. Now, let’s hurry and finish your walk so we all can get to bed.”

Copper barked and his tail wagged. They resumed their walk.


	11. Chapter 11

Copper came running back into the house, feeling much more chipper and forgiving after being walked. Arthur closed the door behind him while Charles handled taking the leash off him.

“Feeling better now, boy?”

Copper bowed, his tongue was hanging out of his mouth as he cheerily panted. He yawned after answering and started heading back up towards the stairs when he tired of both teens.

“You’re really gonna let him sleep in your room, Charles?”

Charles shrugged and nodded.

“He just did it because he was mad.”

Arthur just placed is hand on his hips and looked down at him disapprovingly.

“You wouldn’t understand until you’ve had a dog.”

Arthur always wanted one though. He tilted is head side-to-side.

“I ain’t never owned a dog, no.”

He would always pet the local strays that would sometimes wander into his yard, cats and dogs alike. His favorite was a pitbull. She was a lovely shade of brown, he loved the way it shone in the sun. She’d been coming around to visit them since she was a puppy fresh off the tit. She would let him sleep in the bed with him sometimes. John was only four, and so he was jealous of both the dog and Arthur. He eventually wormed is his way into the bed at night with the two of them. They would put food out for her every morning and if Arthur could manage the money, a bit of kibble too. His dad knew about it but he never did anything. Arthur thought that he liked her company too. The last time he saw her, she looked like she was pregnant and he worried for her and the pups. She never came back again and he didn’t remember seeing any puppies either. He named her Boadicea cause he saw her beat the shit out of a raccoon one night, and he was reading a book about her for history class.

He sighed and went to put the leash back on its rack. When he returned to the couch he pointed to Charles’ room.

“Come on, big man, let’s get you to your room.”

Charles scoffed and looked like he wanted to be offended by the nickname but couldn’t really pull it off. He threw his arm around Arthur’s neck and Arthur hoisted him off the couch without much of a hitch. Charles chuckled.

“Not many people can do that, you know.”

Arthur was supporting his waist and they were slowly making their way to the first step.

“Do what?”

They both grunted as they mounted the stairs. Arthur was careful to be gentle and patient with Charles because of his leg. He hated it when he felt him wince.

“Pick me up.”

Arthur laughed and they both took another moment to climb a step. He saw the way Charles’ hand was gripping the banister tightly. He was going to give him some medicine before he left.

“Aw, you ain’t that heavy Charles.”

“Arthur, I’m on swim team and I wrestle.”

“What’s your point?”

“It means that I think you’re stronger than you look!”

The two breathy laughed together. They finally finished climbing up the stairs and from there the conversation was put on hold until the injured teen was sat on his bed. Copper hopped up and settled nicely on the foot of the bed at the arrival of his owner. When they caught their breath, Charles moved to turn on the lamp on his nightstand. The room looked comfortable with the actual lights on, and with just the dimly-lit lamp, Arthur thought that he could pass out and sleep right then and there.

But then he realized it’s because he was so exhausted. He yawned deeply, and smiled at Charles when he saw that he looked concerned, yet again.

“I appreciate you taking the time out to help me like this, and don’t take this the wrong but, Arthur, please go to sleep.”

Arthur tried to open his eyes wider but his lids were too heavy.

“Once I’m sure you alright by yourself, I’ll leave. John ain’t about to wake up any time soon.”

“I’m fine, Arthur. I’m literally just going to watch some TV or go to bed. I have old crutches inside my closet, I’ve been through this before. I’m glad that John’s sleeping so soundly but I’m worried about you. Do you have work in the morning?”

“The breakfast shift again.”

“Okay, look.”

Charles held his hand out expectantly. Arthur was at the point of tiredness where he felt like his brain was shut off and he was no better than a zombie. What was Charles asking for? He could only think of one thing and gave him and gave him a low-five. Charles just looked at his hand in astonishment and then up at Arthur, and Arthur quickly and suddenly understood that he just did something incredibly stupid. It seemed like he wasn’t too exhausted to be embarrassed.

“Thank you for that, but I was waiting for your phone.”

And Arthur’s entire face was probably beet red after Charles explained. Arthur got his phone out and placed it in his hand and watched as he unlocked it. There was no password on his phone, but Charles had one; it was a pin code. When both phones were ready to be used, Charles opened up the contacts page and inputted a number onto his phone and then gave Arthur his own.

“Here, put your phone number on this.”

Arthur woke up a little at the sudden request. He looked confusedly down at the phone and then back at Charles, who was already done with whatever he was doing on Arthur’s phone.

“I just gave you my number. It’s like you said before, we live across the street. If I need your help I’ll call you, okay?”

Arthur looked at the blank contact submission. He was still unsure about it. What would Dutch think?

“I’m not going to try anything funny. I promise.”

Charles’ voice was soft and he sounded like he was in need of sleep too. Arthur was just wasting their time by being paranoid and so he nodded and quickly punched his number in, along with his name. Charles yawned himself and placed his phone on the charger and then on the nightstand. He was pulling back his pillows when he gave Arthur a weary goodbye. Arthur returned the sentiment and started heading back downstairs. He scooped John up on his way out of the house, giving the living room a last look before leaving. His car was still parked in front, but Arthur figured that he could leave it there for then night, and shoot Charles a text in the morning. Right now his concern was that his father was either sleeping, out, or too tired to want to engage in anything even remotely physical. He crossed the street and fished his key out of his pocket. John’s limp body being nothing more than extra weight. If the neighbors cared enough, or were awake they would probably think the boy was dead. He opened the door and his father was home. He was sprawled out on the couch, helping himself to a beer and watching a Netflix documentary about Ted Bundy. He turned his head when he heard the door close, squinting before giving his son a nasty glare and turning back to the screen. Arthur started making his way towards the stairs before he heard his father say,

“It’s nearly 1:30. Where the fuck were you?”

Arthur felt his body shaking, like he was caught in a minefield and only realized because he stepped on one.

“Helping a neighbor.”

“You ‘helped’ them well, then?”

The quickest way to make Arthur cry was to just be his dad. He hated that his eyes were already glossed over and that he was fighting to keep his composure. He was holding John, he couldn’t wake him and he wouldn’t drop him. He took a deep breath.

“Course not, pa…you know I ain’t like that.”

His father laughed and lit a cigarette. He sat up, getting closer to the window. He blew a cloud of smoke out and aggressively gestured towards the stairs.

“Don’t bring your brother back this late ever again, and get the fuck out of my sight.”

Arthur was always good at doing what he was told. Without a moment’s thought he was trying to get up the stairs as fast as he could without his irking his father’s taunts more. He went into John’s room and closed the door, locking it for extra measure. He turned the lamp on next to John’s bed for minimal light. He quickly placed John on top of the covers of his bed and took a seat next to him. There weren’t any tears, but he still wiped at his eyes, and he sat still trying to steady his breathing. When he was collected enough to focus on his brother, he slid the boy’s shoes off, and changed him into his pajamas. He put the covers over him and then got up. He walked to the other side of the bed and stripped down to his t-shirt and boxers, before climbing in beside him. He reached over to turn the lamp off and then nestled again. He heard John sigh, probably sensing that he was in his bed. He rolled over and latched onto Arthur like a koala on eucalyptus. Arthur smiled and gave the boy a good night kiss to the forehead before promptly falling asleep.

\-----

Arthur was pleased but also disappointed with himself for waking up to his alarm clock a few hours after he finally got home. John was still lying in the bed with his back turned to him. Arthur rolled over and took the phone from out of his pants pocket and turned the grating noise off.

“Shit, I forgot to charge my phone.”

He sucked his teeth and made a note to take his charger with him to work. He saw that he had two message from Charles.

_“See?_

_We both lived”_

Arthur giggled at the messages and sent a crying laughing emoji.

_“It appears we did”_

His phone dinged again and another text bubble popped up on the screen. It was from Dutch.

_“Good morning, handsome :* ;)”_

_“Morning, hon”_

_“I have a final today, send me a selfie for good luck!”_

Arthur rolled his eyes, knowing full well that he looked like a goblin this early in the morning. Still, he had to give his boyfriend the motivation to pass. He turned on his camera and held it just above his face, smiling without showing his teeth and gave a thumbs-up in the photo. He captioned it _“I have faith in you, Dutch!”_

Dutch responded in turn with a bunch of shiny hearts, and the heart-eyed emoji. Arthur set his phone down and gently shook John’s shoulder. The boy was none too pleased at being woken up.

“I know, I know, but we gotta get you to school. Up you get.”

John rolled over and gave Arthur a pathetic head bump on his chest before leaving the bed and going to the bathroom to freshen up. Arthur looked down at his clothes and frowned, realizing that he would have to wear them again without washing them until tonight. He hoped that his co-workers wouldn’t say anything if they noticed. He put his uniform back on and just as he was finished, he went back to his phone, hearing the message alert go off.

_“Gorgeous as always!… <3” _

Arthur scoffed and put the phone back down. John had just come out of the bathroom and was walking back into his room.

“Pa is home…”

It truly broke Arthur’s heart to see how upset that made John. It was also unusual because he would be out the house by now, unless he was too hungover to go in on time. Arthur really hoped that he wouldn’t be home all day. He went to take his turn in the bathroom. He peed, and he brushed his teeth. He was working on washing his face. His hair was a bit wet from splashing water, and he was dabbing at his face to dry it off. His father busted into the bathroom, probably thinking that no one was there. When he caught sight of Arthur he was immediately hovering behind him, staring intently into the mirror, leaving Arthur panicked about what he was scrutinizing on him. What imperfection he found on him now.

“…Something wrong?”

Lyle’s eyes narrowed and his face went straight and dark.

“Turn around boy.”

Arthur wanted to, but he was petrified. His body froze up and he couldn’t move even if he willed himself to. His father grew impatient and spun him around forcefully. He grabbed a palmful of Arthur’s hair and yanked his head to side to bare his neck.

“I thought you said you weren’t ‘helping’ anyone last night, boy.”

Arthur’s chest was heaving and he had his hands wrapped around his father’s wrist. His scalp hurt from the hair-pulling. He just wanted his dad to stop.

“So how’d you get those hickies?”

His father didn’t know he was dating Dutch. Lyle ignored the fact that Arthur liked men, he told him that it didn’t matter who he was with, nobody was ever going to love him. To his dad, it didn’t matter if he was dating, it mattered that Dutch was older, it mattered that he had hickies and weren’t even covering them up. It mattered very much to Lyle what his son’s reputation was and how it affected him. It didn’t matter to Lyle that his reputation was built on a lie. Arthur didn’t answer him, and he was met with a harsh strike to the face. He had to steady himself on the sink. His dad grabbed him again, staring harder at the hickies like he was trying to slap them off his son. Arthur saw the look of anger in his eyes again and he finished him off with a punch to the eye. Arthur was only left alone after he crumpled to the floor.

“I raise you and you’re no better than a common whore.”

He dropped Arthur’s towel down in front of him.

“Now hurry up and take your brother to school!”

Arthur nodded and got up quickly, walking out of the bathroom and back into John’s room. John looked up at him, eyes sad and upper lip quivering at the sight of his older brother.

“Look at your cheek, Arthur…”

“Shhh…it’s alright, it’s okay. Come on, let’s finished getting you dressed so you can get to school. If we head out now you can still make breakfast time.”

Arthur did his best to stop his brother’s whimpers. He didn’t want Lyle trying anything with him. His cheek was going to bruise and he knew it. When John was finished getting dressed, Arthur went over his hair a few times with his brush and then sent him to grab a piece of fruit and head to the car. John was quiet, he nodded and did as he was told. Arthur went into his room to grab his trusty sunglasses and then flew out of the house to meet his little brother at the car. They filed in and set off to begin their day.

It was a silent ride, John was sat next to him staring out the window. Arthur felt responsible for ruining his day before it even began, so he tried to start conversation.

“…You got any plans with your friends today?”

“No.”

“Do you want to make plans with your friends?”

John shrugged. Arthur left him alone for a few minutes until they hit the last red light before his school.

“I was thinking that we can get some ice cream after you get from school. How you feel about that?”

John thought about it before Arthur heard the petulant voice reply, “Can we invite Charles?”

“….Charles?”

He nodded, face still stuck in that frown.

“Why not Dutch?”

John rolled his eyes at the mention of Arthur’s boyfriend.

“So you and Dutch can be kissing the whole time and ignore me?”

“I ain’t going to do that!”

“Can you just ask him?!”

John didn’t really care much for Dutch. He joined the couple a few times on outings, but he didn’t make much of an effort with his boyfriend. He only knew Charles for all of five hours yesterday and he was personally asking for him to come with them for ice cream! The audacity of this little boy!

“Fine, I’ll send him a text right now. Go on off to school and I’ll let you know what he said.”

It was always worth it to see John smile. He wanted to take the ugliness of his morning away and if it meant ice cream with Charles then so be it. He ruffled John’s hair and the boy gave him a hug before leaving the car.

“Try to stay out of detention today, please!”

John shouted back, “Maybe!”

And then he was inside of the building, leaving his big brother with the task of getting to work. His ride to his job was smooth, silent with no one to talk to. When he was parked, he opened his sun visor to reveal the mirror inside. He surveyed his face and saw that around his eye was already starting to bruise and deepen. It would be purple before the day was over. He put the sunglasses on and adjusted his hat to hide his face as best he could before heading inside. He had hoped that Sadie wasn’t there, or at the very least, wasn’t in the front of the store. She was the first person he saw when he walked in, staring miserably at the few diners while standing behind the register. Her face brightened when she saw him walk in and he tried to be as genial as possible, but then her smile vanished, and he knew that she could see the mark. His suspicions were confirmed when she spoke.

“Oh Arthur….”


	12. Chapter 12

Sadie rushed from behind the counter and grabbed at Arthur’s hand, quickly pulling him away from the innocent, yet entirely unaware and disinterested diners that were just trying to eat their breakfast. Arthur knew that it was weird for him to be wearing sunglasses before it was even fully out, but he it would be worse if he didn’t try to do it. His coworkers never said anything about it, and Pearson certainly never pulled him aside to ask why he would show up some days with bruises or not at all if they were bad enough. Sadie though, Sadie wasn’t just another coworker. She was still new, she didn’t know that the rest of the employees there didn’t really want much to do with him, they communicated enough to get them their paycheck but beyond that Arthur took most of his breaks alone and before Sadie, there was never any cheerful goodbyes and wishes that they would see each other again the next day.

But now that Sadie saw the reason why he had no workplace friends, she would probably follow suit too. For now, though, Arthur thought that he might enjoy the deep concern written on her face, and the careful prodding around his right eye and cheek. It was nice to be touched like this, instead of the way that he’d always been.

“I’m fine, Sadie really…I weren’t too careful this morning and a…a can from the cabinet knocked me right in the eye, heh.”

He found that if he managed to smile or give some sort of feigned okayness, other people wouldn’t be so uncomfortable and they would leave him alone. Clearly if he was able to laugh still, make some sort of joke from it, he wasn’t _that_ bad off. Sadie looked cross when he said it though. She was smart, still fresh to his life and just from their first chat yesterday he knew that she certainly didn’t care much for social graces and when to leave well enough alone, and if he was a normal person that should’ve upset him. He appreciated it though, and that’s why she was able to drag him towards the break room and sit him down on the dingy blue couch and look him over like she was his mother. Like he would do for John.

“Arthur, if a can really dinged you up that bad why you came in for?”

“I reckon I’m still well enough to work. John and I can’t eat if I ain’t working.”

She crossed her arms. He felt more like he was being interrogated now. His hands started fidgeting. He wondered if she could see his growing uneasiness. He heard her gasp.

“You got a black eye and hickies, Arthur.”

His brows furrowed and he was very firm in his denial that they were related. She didn’t look like she bought it, but it was true!

“Those things don’t got nothing to do with the other, Sadie.”

“Was this your boyfriend that did this to you?”

“Of course not! Dutch…Dutch would never.”

He realized in this moment that going to work was bad, it was a bad decision and if the day was already going this horrible, then was he really still going to take John (and Charles) out to ice cream? His sunglasses were still on and if she could see what happened to him with them still on, how would he fare if he had to take them off?

“You ain’t sounding too sure.”

He went silent again, careful not to say too much. If she already knew that someone was beating on him, then there was nothing more he could say. But what he couldn’t let slide that she was already on the line of thinking that Dutch did this to him.

“I…I-I already told you, Sadie.”

Sadie looked angrier than he did about it. Then he figured that he never really got outwardly angry about his father’s beatings, they’d been happening for as long as he could remember. He didn’t have the energy to get mad about it anymore. It was nice that she did, but it was unnecessary.

“Well then can you at least take off them glasses so I can clean it? I ain’t known you long, but I can already tell that you was more worried about coming here than your own well-being.”

He was usually better at it, and he wanted to tell her that, but he would look more like the sad sack he was to her and he just wanted her respect and company more than anything. He was also good at being quiet. Getting hit, making others unhappy, and being quiet. Sadie took his silence as acceptance for treatment, and he watched carefully as she wandered off before quickly returning with the box of medical supplies. Pearson told him after he first got hired that corporate didn’t really give too much of a fuck about its employees, so most of the store managers (the ones that are kind) go out of their way to buy items like first aid kits and whatever they could afford so that the workers wouldn’t be hurt. He was a shitty boss in some ways, but Arthur would never say that he wasn’t an empathetic one. She pulled out the bottle of painkillers and then set the box on the empty cushion next to him. She popped two pills out and placed them in front of his face.

“Here. I ain’t gonna touch it cause I know it hurts. Take these while I get an ice pack.” 

“Sadie, I’m really—”

“For my sake, Arthur.”

He didn’t want to look her in the eyes, so he settled for her forehead. She had freckles splattered around her face. Smatterings of dark brown spots that she tried to cover with her bangs. It looked nice with the golden from her summer tan. Her face reminded him of his mother’s; who he could only remember because of the picture he kept of her in his room. His mother always wore that same face of pleading, sadness that he had to sport another bruise from that bastard she called her husband. But for her sake, he always let her fret, let her worry over him. He supposed he could do it for Sadie’s sake too. He pressed his lips together and it made his face sore. He took the pills from her and dry swallowed them. Her tired smile made him think that maybe today wouldn’t be all bad.

“Wasn’t so hard, was it?”

She wasn’t really looking for an answer, it was more self-assurance. She disappeared again and then returned with an ice pack wrapped in a paper towel.

“If it ain’t cold enough, you can take the tissue off.”

He took it wordlessly and smacked it to his face. He knew that he should be gentle with it, but he hated it. He hated that it was there, he hated the person who gave it to him, and most of all he hated that he made others worry because of it. Sadie was busy returning the items she took to the places it belonged. She plopped down next to him on the cushion, she giggled to herself at the way her side of the couch nearly gave in. Arthur smiled too but he didn’t really want to agitate his bruise. He could feel how swollen it became because he neglected to put ice on it earlier. When her laughing died down they just stared at the bland beige wall that had an even blander bulletin board on it filled with flyers and papers that no one wanted to take down but wanted to add on to.

“Mark my words, Arthur. One day, I reckon Pearson’ll piss me off so bad I’ll just rip that shit down.”

Arthur didn’t know if he was much in the mood to be making jokes. He was ashamed that Sadie had to tend to him like she was his nursemaid. He didn’t know if she was saying that to make him laugh or if she really meant it. He hoped it was just a joke, Sadie looked like the type to act on her words.

“Let’s hope that day don’t come too soon. It’d be lonesome again if you was to get fired.”

She beamed at him and patted his knee.

“So it’s on you to keep him off me, deal?”

He couldn’t hold back the laugh this time and his smile was genuine.

“It’s on me, is it?”

“Yes. Now let’s try and look like we’re working or else I’ll have to torch the place today.”

She got up and patted the imaginary dust off her uniform. She held her hand out for Arthur, he took it, but was careful not to make her deal with his full weight. When they were both up she looked at his face again.

“I worked like this before…folk don’t seem to care much if I get their orders right.”

Arthur didn’t talk to many people besides his brother and Dutch. He didn’t know what was appropriate to say and every time people let him talk for too long he always ended up saying something stupid and that was always the end of that. Sadie looked horrified at what she heard.

“Arthur…how many times you come to work like this?”

He could be honest with her. Lord knows that he wanted to tell someone that his father was merciless some days and it was a miracle that he even lasted as long as he did. But no one would believe him, or care enough to help him. No one wanted their father after them either. Arthur and John weren’t dead yet and that seemed to be enough for some of the townsfolk. He coughed and shrugged. He looked down at his feet and noticed that he would be needing some new shoes soon.

“I’m a bit clumsy is all…I always be waking up late and having to rush us out the door…seems like the quickest way to end up looking like how I be looking.”

He didn’t want it to sound like a joke, but he didn’t want it to sound like truth either. He just wanted it to be like yesterday when Sadie was talking about her fucking her husband while they doled out breakfast to hungry customers. But he ruined everything good for him. He always did. One thing that he wondered if Sadie knew about herself was that whenever the cogs in her head went turning, her brows would furrow deep and she’d get that little wrinkle in between them. That or she was pissed about something else. Probably both.

“It ain’t important anyway…I’ll just keep them glasses on till the end of my shift.”

He saved them from being sucked in between the couch cushions and put them back on his face.

“See, it’s like new!”

Sadie looked entirely unconvinced, and just like yesterday, she wanted to press him about it. She knew that something was off about, _with_ him. He thought that maybe she was holding off because they’d only just met, but it would come out sooner or later. She looked about ready to burst.

“Can I get some service here please!”

An all too familiar voice cracked from the front of the store. Arthur looked towards the registers, his face being conveniently hidden behind those large, and quite frankly, ugly sunglasses he was forced into donning. He was pleasantly confused though, as to why Dutch dared show himself in a capitalistic shit hole like McDonald’s. The only other time he was caught dead in one was when he and Arthur first met. He turned to look at Sadie, who just cocked an eyebrow up at him.

“Who the hell yells at eight o’clock in the morning!”

Arthur wanted to say that she was doing it right now, but then that conversation would go nowhere. They headed to the front and Arthur was right. It was Dutch standing there, dressed unusually casual. He was wearing a simple burgundy t-shirt with black jeans. His usual look was some sort of pressed button-down, with jeans that could pass for slacks. The front of the button-down was always tucked into his pants and Arthur found it nearly irresistible. His hair was messy and Arthur could see the bags under his eyes. He was concerned, more than concerned actually, he was worried for his boyfriend. He went to behind the register and saw that Dutch looked cranky, tired and irritable. He was absolutely no good for anyone that had to come in contact with him, so he took over as cashier instead of submitting Sadie to that headache. The older man’s face relaxed immediately at the sight of Arthur.

“There he is!”

Sadie was standing right next to him, looking as skeptical as ever at the man in question. Arthur had to defuse this situation before Pearson came out and it would just ruin the rest of the work day if he showed his face. The teen pushed his glasses up and smiled brightly at his boyfriend.

“Dutch! Why….what you doing here so early in the morning?”

“That selfie weren’t enough for me, dear. I wanted to see you in person. Can’t I do that as your boyfriend?”

Arthur didn’t miss the sneaky glare he sent towards Sadie, who scoffed and was about to retaliate before Arthur stopped her.

“Of course you can, hon. It’s just…why ain’t you just text me?”

Dutch smirked and let out a low rumble that was his equivalent of chuckling.

“I wanted to surprise you, silly.”

Arthur went quiet. Thinking about Dutch’s response. He was reminded of the phone call they had last night, and how Dutch admitted to being unhappy with the lack of Arthur’s presence. It was endearing to him, especially since his lover seldom went out of his way to do anything like this for him in all the two years they’ve been together. It was really very romantic and Arthur couldn’t help but blush and smile at the effort.

“Well…consider me surprised.”

Arthur turned and saw Sadie’s scowl fixed on her face and he wanted to reiterate what he always told John; it was going to get stuck like that. But she was older than him, and didn’t need a youngin like him to mom her. She didn’t look impressed by Dutch, but it was understandable when he came in looking like every other disheveled college student they fed every morning. She tapped his arm.

“You alright?”

Arthur nodded, remembering that Sadie was convinced that Dutch hit him. Her interest in his well-being was touching, but it was unneeded right now. He nodded.

“I’ll give you a shout if things go south, don’t worry.”

She looked at him like that was the wrong answer. He saw it in her face though. She didn’t really want to leave him alone with the suspected abuser, but he was being adamant and he hoped that she could tell that he wasn’t fearful to be alone with him either. She eyeballed Dutch a little harder before turning away and heading to the drive-thru window.

“She’s a real pleasant one, ain’t she?”

“She just looking out for me, is all.”

Dutch looked incredulous at that.

“Or she just hoping that she don’t get chewed out by your boss. She’d throw you under the bus in a heartbeat, she got that look.”

Arthur reached over the counter and placed a hand over Dutch’s. It was trembling.

“Dutch, order some food please and I’ll be more than happy to talk to you after. You ain’t looking too good.”

“Of course not! I got three fucking finals today and I only studied for the one I got in two hours so you tell me Arthur, how else am I supposed to look?”

Dutch was _very_ cranky today, it seemed. Arthur bowed his head and adjusted his sunglasses.

“I’m sorry Dutch…that were stupid of me to say…”

He spoke softer, not wanting to annoy him anymore. Dutch just sighed and moved to stroke Arthur’s unbruised cheek before letting his hand fall back to the counter. He put his head down, looking like he was trying to calm himself before he spoke again.

“No no, I’m sorry, Arthur. Here, just make me a coffee and come sit with me for a bit?”

“Oh Dutch, I gotta…”

Dutch made sure that he was staring directly into Arthur’s eyes, tinted through lenses or no. Arthur could tell that he was stressed out and that finals week was really doing him in, but he had to work too, he already been in for ten minutes and didn’t do a single thing.

“Arthur, _please_.”

He never could refuse Dutch when he was like that. It was wrong of him too, he clearly needed him and drove an hour just to come see him. He was a bad boyfriend for thinking about work instead of his partner who wanted his company. Arthur started punching in the price for the coffee and took Dutch’s money. When the transaction was complete, Arthur pointed to the booth closest to the entrance.

“You can sit there while I fetch your coffee.”

Dutch smiled that affectionate smile and leaned over to give him a gentle kiss to the cheek. He thanked him before heading over to the booth, leaving Arthur alone to make his order.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a heads up but I'll be leaving for Italy in five days, so I'll try to update as much as I can before then! I'll still have internet in Italy but I'll need a few days to settle in first! 
> 
> Also, I want to hear what y'alls think about the story so far! What do you want to see? What do you guys think is going to happen from here? I'm just as interested about your thoughts like you are my story! 
> 
> Feel free to follow me on my red dead blog arthur-dirtydick-morgan or on my main blog johnlockerooni!


	13. Chapter 13

Arthur made Dutch’s coffee just the way he liked it. Or, the way he liked it when he first met him. He wondered if he was being coy when he ordered it, like it was a purposeful remark to the start of the two years that they spent together. Black with three sugars. Arthur made a disgusted face at it as he walked over to his waiting boyfriend. He had his head in his hands and Arthur frowned at just how burdened he looked. Dutch was always under some sort of stress but this was new to him, and it bothered him because he didn’t know what the reason for it was. Maybe that’s why he decided that Arthur was worth the trip today. He put on his best smile and set the cup gently down in front of him. He cleared his throat and Dutch looked up at him with those sunken in eyes and Arthur’s smile sobered a bit. He sat down and noticed how quickly his boyfriend grabbed his hands. They were clammy, and firmly on Arthur’s. Arthur watched carefully as Dutch brought his hands up to his mustached mouth and kissed them.

“I don’t think you ever been this affectionate with me before.”

Dutch’s thick brow furrowed and he kissed them again.

“Really?”

To Arthur it sounded like his boyfriend was truly ignorant to the fact that Dutch rarely did these tender acts of romance, let alone in public. Arthur nodded and he saw a glint in Dutch’s eyes that was unreadable. He didn’t look sorry about it nor did he look guilty. He looked blank and Arthur wasn’t sure how to feel about that, but Dutch kissed his hand for a third time and he felt his heart skip a beat. The older man raised his hand up and lingered over the purple tinted skin that Arthur tried to cover up with the sunglasses.

“…Your pa got to you again, didn’t he?”

Arthur’s silence was once again taken as acceptance and Dutch slammed his fist on the table out of frustration, making the teen flinch from the noise. Dutch took a deep breath and let go of Arthur’s hands.

“I’m sorry Arthur, I forget that…”

Arthur just nodded, knowing that Dutch sometimes forgot that his young boyfriend didn’t like sudden movements or noises like that. He tended to hit things when he was really overwhelmed, he always apologized after if he slipped up. Arthur appreciated that and so he forgave him every time. He loved Dutch, he really did.

“This ain’t that bad. I been okay this long.”

“You always was strong. Your strength, and your beauty…like something fresh out of a Greek myth.”

Arthur’s cheeks flushed red and he waved him off.

“Like…Zeus?”

Dutch laughed and nodded.

“Sure, dear boy. Zeus…Hades…every single one.”

The blond cocked his head.

“How can I be like all them gods?”

Dutch shrugged his shoulders.

“You tell me!”

His boyfriend was confused at this point. Sometimes Dutch spoke and he felt like he never really knew what he was saying. Maybe Dutch was never really saying anything at all. He couldn’t help but to feel intimidated by how smart his lover was and how often he felt like he could never follow their conversations because he wasn’t intelligent like Dutch and Hosea were. But Dutch was laughing now, and his shoulders seemed less tense than before. He just returned the laugh and the smile.

“I haven’t a clue what you go on about sometimes, hon. But I’m glad you feeling better.”

Dutch hummed and looked around at the other diners. He took slow sips from his coffee savoring it. Arthur thought he was mad for actually enjoying that.

“Better? Absolutely not. Happier now that I’ve finally got see you, yes.”

“I told you I’m sorry about that…I got to take care of---”

“Take care of John, I know Arthur, you always talking about that boy.”

Arthur’s mouth straightened.

“He’s my brother, of course I’m always talking about him.”

Dutch snorted and took another sip from his coffee. Arthur heard him gulp and saw the way his Adam’s apple bobbed from the action. He noticed that his boyfriend was looking a bit skinner now; he hadn’t really taken that information in when he saw him yesterday.

“That also the reason why you rather be with him than me?”

Dutch chortled in the middle of that question, and Arthur was going to assume that he was making his version of a joke. Sometimes Dutch’s sarcasm didn’t really come off like that.

“I don’t got no one to watch him, and you know I can’t leave him alone with pa. John wouldn’t want to be alone in the house neither, what am I supposed to do?”

Arthur was careful to keep his voice normal and calm so that the others around them wouldn’t think that they were engulfed in an argument of some sort. He pushed his glasses up, they were sliding down the bridge of his nose.

“Hire a babysitter?”

“Sure, I could hire a sitter for him, Dutch. I could get a sitter and it would only cost me…what, a week’s worth of groceries, a month’s worth maybe? This ain’t even taking into consideration that he don’t like being around adults and I ain’t too keen on coming home to my little brother upset or scared more than he already is, or being told that he just a bad kid, cause he ain’t.”

Dutch picked the coffee cup back up and Arthur noticed that he was drinking it like it was an Irish one. He pulled his hands to his lap and started fidgeting with them under the table. It wasn’t that he liked or enjoyed going against what Dutch wanted, but his boyfriend knew his situation and why certain things couldn’t take place. If he had the money to afford a babysitter, or if John were better around grown ups then he would consider it. But it wasn’t an option in the life he lived now. Dutch made a satisfied noise after he finished the coffee and gave the cup one last look before setting it down.

“It’s finals week, Arthur. Finals week for my final year at that godawful university my mother so cheerfully dropped me off in.”

“You talk with her at all?”

Dutch rarely spoke about his mother, but when they first met he told Arthur that they weren’t on the best of terms, but in their own dysfunctional way they loved each other and it was that twisted love that kept their relationship afloat. Arthur wished he had that, at least. Dutch shook his head.

“If I wanted to hear someone nagging, I would gladly give her phone a ring. What I _need_ right now, dear boy, is a partner. I don’t mean Hosea, and I don’t mean Josiah fucking Trelawny, I mean _you_. I care for you so much, Arthur, and I been missing you something fierce since midterm! And where are you? Here! Working at this greasy minimum-wage paying shithole and spending all your free time with an eleven year old. I can’t get by on just facetime sex and dirty pictures, Arthur. I want…no…I need you, now more than ever.”

Dutch said all of this in a hushed yell. Most of the diners left already and the ones that wandered in took their meals to go. He glanced at the register and saw that Sadie was dutifully working it. He was wondering when she got there but then answered his own question when he realized that she probably never stopped spying on him and moved swiftly to cover his ass so that Pearson wouldn’t tell him off. He looked back at Dutch who looked the most genuine Arthur had ever seen him. He was in public looking this vulnerable! His eyes were glazed from the lack of sleep and the strain he was placing himself under mentally, emotionally, and physically, and Arthur was worried that this man was going on a tangent because he was so sleep-deprived for a moment but there was a softness to his face that was seldom seen and it made Arthur melt.

“Dutch…ain’t nothing else that would make me happier, but…how exactly are we going to do this?”

“We’ll live together.”

Arthur was stunned, and he was glad that he had glasses on. He blinked twice and shook his head, thinking there was something wrong with his hearing.

“…Excuse me?”

“You heard me, darling. After I graduate, I’ll get us an apartment. I just need a bit of money first and then I’ll come and get you from that piece of shit you call a dad and then, Arthur, get married even, and then…then, we’ll be _free_ …”

Arthur saw the way Dutch got stars in his eyes just reciting this plan to him that he probably thought of for all of ten minutes. While Arthur’s heart raced at the mention of marriage, there was just something missing from his plan, and it was an important factor.

“That sounds like a fine plan, hon, but when you say you’ll get ‘us’ an apartment…you mean you, me, and John, right?”

Dutch blinked, like he was caught off-guard by the question, but he bounced back quickly and nodded.

“Of course I mean, John. I know how much you love that boy, I’d have to be blind, deaf, and dumb to miss that.”

Arthur smiled and chuckled.

“You always know how to make me laugh, hon.”

“I do try my best.”

Dutch’s mouth went into that iconic smirk and Arthur couldn’t help but blush at how attractive he looked when he did it. The two went quiet after that, the teen gazing on fondly as the college student gulped down whatever was left in the cup and then wiped at his mouth.

“Our anniversary’s coming up.”

Arthur’s mouth gaped at the announcement. Had time really flown by that quickly?

“Two years…”

Dutch smiled, proud of that achievement and gave Arthur a slow nod.

“Two very, very, amazing years together.”

“What are we doing to celebrate?”

Dutch clapped his hands together triumphantly, like he had it all planned out already.

“We are going to have dinner. My treat, I mean…obviously.”

He thought that was funny, Arthur of course, didn’t see much humor in that comment. Dutch cleared his throat and shaped up when he saw that his boyfriend wasn’t very happy with that jab.

“Dinner, dear boy, in Strawberry!”

“Strawberry!”

“Yes! Josiah, of all people, managed to get us reservations for this Friday at the finest eatery in the town!”

“The one that rich boy opened up, what’s his name…Leviticus Cornwall?”

“The very same!”

Arthur was amazed.

“That’s the place that got all them celebrities that eat there, right?”

Another satisfied nod. Arthur got all giddy just thinking about being like rich people for a night. Friday was only five days away, he had to find a nice suit! Dutch stood up and placed a kiss to Arthur’s forehead.

“That’s right, get excited about it, be very excited about it! We’re going to dine like those sons of bitches that turn their nose at us!”

“Oh Dutch, I wish you’d told me about this sooner, I don’t got nothing to wear!”

Dutch yawned and stretched, his shoulders popping when he rolled them. Arthur grabbed the empty coffee cup, ready to discard it after his boyfriend took his leave.

“Best start thinking now, we need to look our very best. But it’s important for Friday that we try our hardest to blend in with the upper echelons of society.”

Arthur’s mind was racing at all the possibilities of that night. Dutch stroked his cheek, interrupting every thought he had.

“A word to the wise, though. Purple suits you well, but not when it’s covering half of your face. If it’s possible, try to keep as much as distance from your pa. You know I say this cause I care about you, right?”

The painkillers and icepack must’ve worked because he’d forgotten about the black eye he was sporting through all the excitement of his two year anniversary. He truly hoped that it would be healed by then, or at least barely noticeable. Dutch was right, there was no need to attract the wrong kind of attention on their special night.

“Yeah, I know.”

It wasn’t like he asked to be punched in his face for having hickies that Dutch gave him. He tries hard already to not be the outlet of his father’s anger, but not hard enough, according to his boyfriend. Or was it his fiancé now? Whoever Dutch was to him now, the man gave Arthur a last kiss before pointing at the door.

“This was theraupeutic, you are always a balm for the soul, my dear boy. Unfortunately we have to end all this pomp and circumstance early, I have a final to take in an hour and a half and traffic will be a bitch if I leave any later. Call me tonight, will you?”

“I will.”

Dutch almost purred at the response.

“Good.”

He left the restaurant, and Arthur got up from the booth with the empty cup in tow. He threw it away in the trashbin next to the seats and gave one last glance at his lover’s retreating form outside. He grinned to himself as he got back to work.


	14. Chapter 14

The minute Arthur returned back to the drive-thru window, Sadie materialized next to him. If it wasn’t her, and if he wasn’t in such a good mood, he would have said something about it. All he did was give her a smile and take the order of the kind old lady that pulled up. When she was taken care of, she bade Arthur and “his little friend” a nice day and Arthur waved when she drove away. Sadie was so close to Arthur that if she knew him any longer she probably would shove her nose onto his neck to make him pay attention to her. When Arthur decided that he was in a good mood, but not in a good enough one to completely ignore her, he spoke to her without facing her.

“How can I help you, Mrs. Adler?”

“I ain’t no customer! How was things with Dutch?”

At that he turned to look at her. Aware that his glasses hindered full expression of his emotions, he smiled brightly at her. She made a curious face.

“Spit it out!”

“First, you tell me what you think happened.”

It was his good news and he wanted to hold onto it for a bit longer before he told her about it. Arthur wasn’t a spiritual person, but he believed in the powers of the universe and the energies that he put out into it. He read in article before that if he didn’t sit on his news and told it to anyone too early, it wouldn’t end well. As a person with so little that’s actually going well in his life, he was desperate to withhold anything that could turn it into bad luck.

“I saw y’all get into a bit of a spat for a moment. He didn’t say anything crazy did he? I can kick his ass for you if you’d like.”

Arthur laughed at Sadie’s immediate willingness to fight whenever and whoever. He figured that her husband must absolutely love that about her. He shook his head.

“That weren’t nothing. Sometimes Dutch forgets I think, that I don’t got no money. He got a ma that gives him whatever he ask for, and he got a job on his campus. He were sad because he wants to see me more but I got to care for John and I can’t just be taking no days off like that just so I can be his bedwarmer for the day.”

“And that’s what got you over here all giddy like that? Y’all are an odd couple if I ever did see one.”

“Nah, there’s more.”

Sadie’s interest was piqued at the mention of more gossip and Arthur rolled his eyes as he saw comfortable settle into the stool next to him, eagerly awaiting all the “tea” as Tilly and Mary-Beth used to call their gossiping.

“Our anniversary coming up, he told me he got reservations for this fancy restaurant up in Strawberry—”

“That fancy Leviticus Cornwall one?!”

“I know! I don’t rightly know how he pull stuff like that off but he told me we going there this Friday to celebrate.”

“Your boyfriend famous or something, how he got reservations?”

Arthur laughed softly, greatly enjoying the conversation they were having about his future plans. He never had any and he could feel something like the eighteen year old he was supposed to be.

“He got this friend named Josiah Trelawny. He some rich boy that strokes Dutch’s ego a bit.”

Sadie blurted out a laugh.

“That ain’t a very nice thing to say about your boyfriend!”

Arthur was feeling the most playful he ever did. Dutch probably thinks Arthur did him a favor, but it went both ways because now he felt energetic.

“Dutch like to think he ain’t a bit vain, but he is. I don’t never tell him to his face though.”

“How long y’all been together?”

He smiled as he mused to himself all that they went through in the time they’ve been a couple.

“Two years now.”

Sadie raised a brow when she heard him say that.

“You said he twenty-three?”

Arthur shook his head, still thinking about the reservations.

“Oh no, he’ll be twenty three this year though. In August.”

Sadie considered this carefully, and then Arthur felt whatever playful energy he was in was dissipating at the concerned face that she pulled.

“And y’all been dating since you was sixteen.”

Arthur’s brows furrowed at the train of thinking she was on. He was going to be respectful about it though, and let her say her piece before he jumped down her throat. She was the first person he spoke to this much in a while that wasn’t Dutch or John. He nodded, curious at what her next comment was going to be.

“Arthur, he was twenty-one when he met you.”

He let out a breath of a nervous laugh at her conclusion, and tried to shrug it off.

“What’s wrong with that?”

She sighed and got up from the stool. She reached out her hands and moved to grab his. Her hands were soft and the first time in a very long time he’d ever held a girl’s hand. His ex-girlfriend Mary was the last. Her light brown eyes were searching into his, almost like she was expecting him to know what she was leading with. When he honestly couldn’t figure it out for the life of him she just squeezed his hands twice and then let them go.

“You know what…never mind. It ain’t my business or my place to tell y’all what to do. Lord knows I was already fitting myself for a wedding dress at that age.”

She looked more like she was talking to herself than to him. He was very confused about the turn their conversation took and if he was honest he wanted it to go back to that atmosphere that was seemingly lost now.

“…Did I say something wrong, Sadie?”

She looked at him like that question was the wrong thing to say, but then she gave him a soft smile that looked a bit sad for reasons he had had no clue about. She shook her head and patted his arm gently.

“No, course not!”

Then she acted like it was nothing, and because Arthur just wanted her to be happy, he acted like it was nothing too. He was glad for it, actually.

They managed to recover after whatever that was happened, and soon they fell back into their usual banter, with Sadie making Arthur cry from laughter at the jokes she would say about the customers that were pains in the asses or just plain rude. Then it came time for Arthur to leave and pick John up from school. Over the course of the time he was working, John hadn’t sent him any texts that said he had detention, or that Arthur had to come in for a conference. Instead it was five memes that he sent to him during lunchtime. The only one he was able to understand without blowing out too many brain cells was a Super Mario Bros meme. He showed each one to Sadie and she thought they were all hilarious. He really wanted to understand them like she and John did.

When he punched out, he went over to Sadie, who looked like she was preparing to leave too.

“You off?”

Arthur nodded.

“Are you?”

She was all too happy to say yes. She started untying her hair in the breakroom, pulling at her collar to air out the heat building under her shirt.

“I had to work overtime because Jake and I are a bit behind our car payment.”

Arthur opened his mouth to ask if she was okay and she must’ve known too because she held a hand up to stop him.

“It wasn’t that expensive, we just didn’t budget that well this week so this what happens.”

Arthur mused the thought and nodded. He certainly learned very quickly that budgeting meant everything when you were poor.

“It’s the last time I let Jake convince me into going to the supermarket high...” she grumbled more to herself than she was talking to Arthur. He was shocked.

“Jake smokes?”

Sadie nodded and looked at him like everyone should know that, if they knew the spouses.

“I don’t do it as often but I’ll smoke with Jake. If you smoke, I’d smoke with you.”

“I do!”

Arthur felt a shift in their relationship suddenly and he knew that it was a good shift. He was so thrilled to see that they were becoming fast friends, and in the two days she’s worked there, he enjoyed being greeted by her even if she was always in a talking mood far too early in the morning. His phone dinged and he looked down at it. It was Charles.

_“Hey, I’m sorry to ask you this but can you help me with Copper again?”_

Arthur gasped, completely forgetting that he was supposed to invite Charles out for ice cream. His fingers flew quickly over the keyboard.

_“Sure! My shift just ended. Be there in 15.”_

_“ :)”_

Arthur liked the message and put his phone back in his pocket. Sadie was ready to leave and was waiting for her coworker. Arthur figured that he owed her for the raincheck, and since they were inviting Charles, he could invite her too. Charles and John would like her and she would definitely be great for not making things awkward between him and Charles.

“Sadie, you got any plans?”

She shook his head.

“I was just gonna go home. Why?”

“John and I is going to get ice cream today. We invited our neighbor Charles…I’ll fill you in on all the business in the car…and I know he smokes. You more than welcome to come along.”

Sadie looked strangely touched that he invited her. Like she too wasn’t used to being asked out. But maybe that was because she was still relatively new here, and didn’t know anyone well enough to chat with them like she did with Arthur.

“Yeah, I’m down!”

Arthur smiled, actually excited that she was coming, and he put a bit more pep in his step to leave for the day. He went to the parking lot and asked her if she bought her car today. She shook her head with a polite smile.

“Nope. Jake and I only got the one car for right now, and he need it more since he work farther away. I take the bus, the ride don’t take too long and it’s cheaper than gas. I use it when I got to run to the markets or if he off for the day.”

“That’s perfect. I were only asking because I were going to say that you could park it in front of my house while we go out.”

Sadie laughed and started walking to the car with him.

“I call shotgun!”

“I weren’t about to let you drive anyway, and you only got shotgun till we get John, he already claimed that seat.”

She nodded her head teasingly.

“I will keep that in mind. Now, tell me about Charles!”

They were already seated inside the car when she asked. He was buckling in, she had just fastened her seatbelt.

“Well we going to his house right now. I got to walk his dog before we pick John up.”

Sadie’s face perked up at hearing that they were going to his house first. He figured she was excited to see him again after she falsely accused him of being her boyfriend when he showed up yesterday. Part of him was worried that she was going to get the wrong idea about what was going on between them. When he fastened himself in he looked at her face.

“Walk his dog? Arthur what do you get up to when we not working?”

He rolled his eyes and started the car, prepping to tell her all that transpired immediately after they met yesterday.


	15. Chapter 15

“So let me get this straight…”

Sadie was tapping her finger to her chin as she soaked in all the information that her friend gave to her. He’d told her in as condensed a story as possible about the rollercoaster of a day he had after he left her at work. Just as Arthur, suspected, however, she had a field day listening to it.

“While you was doing the nasty with Dutch your brother almost got hit by a car but Charles came and saved the day by sacrificing his leg and now you gotta help him take care of his dog while he heals?”

Arthur tilted his head side-to-side, musing about how he thought it was crazier than it sounded. He nodded.

“That’s about the whole of things, but I ain’t doing it because I have to. He got a pa. I’m doing it because I want to.”

Sadie snickered and looked out of her passenger window.

“…Is that all?”

Arthur wasn’t sure what thoughts and ideas were bouncing around in Sadie’s head and for a second he had half a mind to just stop talking. But he was enjoying the chat, despite himself. It made him feel like he was back at lunch with the girls.

“John likes him, he the one that asked me to invite him to ice cream.” 

Sadie didn’t look like she wasn’t buying whatever he was selling for one minute. Should he be frustrated with her, or should he be relieved that she could see deeper into the situation? She was the outsider in all this drama. She didn’t know that once upon a time Charles was the most important person in Arthur’s childhood besides his mother.

“You sure _you_ don’t like him too?”

Arthur had to double-take, nearly swerving because he almost missed the turn. He knew that he might have acted a little weird when Charles pulled up to McDonald’s but it that was all! He didn’t know why people were making such a fuss about him walking Charles’ dog. When he deemed it safe enough to look away again, he turned to Sadie with a somber face on.

“…I ain’t..like that, you know.”

She snapped her head and looked confused.

“You ain’t like what, Arthur?”

He took in a large breath and on the exhale it was shaky. He hated that he always had to have this conversation with people. That he always had to defend himself when it came to the topic of Arthur’s romantic life. It was tiring and it was hurtful.

“Easy,” He swallowed the lump in his throat and he felt his grip around the steering wheel get tighter, “I don’t…I ain’t _easy_.”

He sniffed and looked back at the road, they were nearing his house and he prayed to whatever deity would hear him that his father wasn’t home. If he saw Arthur with Sadie, right after he confronted him about Charles last night, he would surely get a pounding. Sadie placed a comforting hand on his thigh.

“Arthur…I, wasn’t trying to say that. I’m sorry if I came across that way.”

Arthur could only raise his mouth in an acknowledging smirk. He turned the last corner to get to his house and he let out a sigh of relief when he saw that his father’s car wasn’t there. He parked in the front and turned his car off. He leaned back against the seat and took in two more steadying breaths. It honestly shouldn’t have bothered him to this degree but he had to deal with people calling him “easy” and “loose” for so long that he just didn’t have the strength anymore to hide his feelings about it. He didn’t want Sadie to think that he was mad at her, because he wasn’t. He was just exhausted.

“I ain’t upset with you, Sadie. I promise I ain’t. It’s just…folk been insinuating that about me for a long time.”

He felt her hand move from his thigh to his back. She rubbed careful circles in it, trying to calm him down. She still looked confused but sad at the reaction. It wasn’t her fault, she didn’t know about his life before she got there and he honestly wanted it to stay like that for as long as possible.

“I really wasn’t trying to imply you was unsavory, Arthur. You just don’t think that walking his dog a little…much?”

“I don’t get your meaning.”

“Put it this way; you could’ve just drove him home and helped him to bed and went on your merry way. You said you’re only his neighbor. I got neighbors too Arthur, one of them just had a baby and I ain’t helping babysit her kid cause she stopped Jake from getting into a car wreck! Sometimes a ‘thank you’ and a small act of kindness is enough.”

“He can’t hardly walk, Sadie, how he going to walk the dog?”

“Like you said, he got his pa.”

“His pa always working late.”

She shrugged.

“I don’t know, man…I just know that you helping him get settled into his house is good enough, but then you was cleaning piss and shit up in his house AND walked the dog at one in the morning!”

Arthur was at a loss for words. He honestly didn’t see anything wrong with walking the dog. He liked Copper, and Charles must’ve been lonely in that house all day with nobody there. He figured that he wasn’t much company but he couldn’t just let the man sit and waste away in his house because he saved his little brother. It was a grand thing for Sadie, but for him, it was the least he could do.

“Charles would do the same for me.”

She laughed and suddenly the mood in the car shifted. She wiped at her eye, still riddled with after-giggles thinking about whatever the joke was that he said.

“Funny enough, I don’t even know the guy yet but I’m sure you right.”

“Charles don’t like me, Sadie. I’m just his sad neighbor that almost had a dead brother.”

Sadie pushed his arm, still smiling like he was in on the humor of it all and he wasn’t. He truly wanted to know what it was like in her brain sometimes.

“That remains to be seen. Now, let’s go before you got to pick up dog doo again!”

 

Arthur shuddered, just thinking about the massive turd that was left in Charles’ shoe and how he thought that maybe someone just broke into his house and did that before having to come to the sad terms that Charles definitely spoiled the shit out of that dog. He climbed out of his car and walked across the street. Sadie whipped her head around and pointed at the house they parked in front of.

“Oh, we ain’t park in front of his house?”

He shook his head.

“No that’s mine. It’s a real shithole, ain’t it?”

He saw her cheeks flush red and to him that meant that she was thinking it but being called out for it made her realize her impropriety. It really wasn’t no big deal. If he didn’t want her to say it then he wouldn’t have brought it up. He really hated being baited, so he just didn’t do it to others. He was a little ashamed of her seeing what his house looked like, and how nice Charles’ looked in comparison. Part of him wished that maybe he should’ve lied even if he was going to be caught in it when they knocked on the door. He laughed and punched her arm.

“It’s alright, Sadie.”

When she gauged that he was okay, she let out a soft laugh and an even softer smile. Her mouth wrinkles deepening her grin.

“You ain’t no good at all!”

“I was hoping I could keep that from you just a little bit longer.”

They both laughed. He gave the door two sharp knocks and waited a moment before they heard the sound of crutches hitting the floor and the tappings of dog claws approaching the door. Charles swung it open and at the sight of Arthur, he let out a smile that could rival sunshine and moved as best he could out of the way so he could enter. When both Sadie and himself were in, Charles shut the door, leaning against it to ease up on the crutches.

“Afternoon, Arthur! How was your day?”

But then Charles’ smile stopped the moment he clapped eyes on Arthur’s black eye peeking from under his sunglasses. Arthur couldn’t help but be impressed at how quickly he moved with two uncomfortable hunks of metal and rubber wedged under his arm.

“What happened to your eye?”

Arthur froze, and looked over at Sadie, pleading with her to do something. What was she going to do? She didn’t know how he got it, and if Charles didn’t already know there was no need to tell him now.

“Oh, well…I’m just a klutz,” He let out a nervous breath of laughter, “And I suffer for it every day.”

Charles’ face softened, it looked pained for a minute. He probably understands the pain of a bruise because he’s a wrestler and all. His dark brown eyes darted over to Sadie’s, and Arthur saw that they did the one thing he couldn’t seem to nail with her yet. She broke eye contact first like she ended whatever telepathic conversation they were having, and cleared her throat, looking everywhere but not at Arthur.

“Did you walk into a door?”

Arthur let gave him a strained smile.

“Actually, dinged with a can.”

Sadie nervously chuckled and grabbed Arthur’s arm.

“Ready to walk Copper?”

Arthur looked at her sympathetically, but nodded. She patted his arm and he headed into the kitchen to get the leash. Sadie started playing with the dog while Charles smiled and watched. When he came back with the leash, Copper happily trotted over to him and let Arthur attach it to his collar.

“Before I head out, I got to tell you something, Charles. Or ask, more like.”

Charles looked curious and raised a brow.

“I’m all ears.”

“Me and John would like it if you joined us for ice cream after I get him from school.”

The injured teen looked absolutely delighted to be invited by Arthur. He nodded and Arthur noticed that his posture perked up a bit on the crutches.

“I was I could see him again. Sure, I’ll go. I guess your friend from McDonald’s is coming too?

Arthur’s brain short circuited before he caught on that Sadie was probably uncomfortable as all hell from not being properly greeted. The conversation went in such a different direction so quickly.

“We also have the pleasure of Mrs. Adler, coming along with us. I’m sorry, I clear forgot to introduce y’all!”

Sadie psshed and went forward to shake Charles’ hand.

“Ain’t this better than a drive-thru?”

Arthur was surprised to hear Charles give a belly laugh at that. If you had to ask him, he could barely breathe when he was giving him his order. He thought that Charles felt awkward about it too, but maybe he was wrong if he was laughing about it.

“Much.”

“My first name’s Sadie, if you was curious.”

Charles momentarily broke eye contact to remember her name.

“Mrs. Sadie Adler…you married?”

Arthur always looked forward to seeing that glint in her eyes whenever she got the opportunity (or made one) to proclaim that she was married to Jake. As in, Jake Adler, as in her last name which is what you take when you’re married because if you didn’t remember at this point she was married to Jake Adler. At least, that’s what it always sounded like to him whenever she went on about her married antics. He liked hearing that she was so happy, so fulfilled in her marriage. He wished that one day the same could happen for him. She answered Charles proudly.

“Before you get any ideas to say something smart, yes, I know I’m young but we’re doing okay! What happens in the future happens, but we okay right now.”

Arthur wondered if he would say something like that after he and Dutch get married.

Charles nodded and made his best attempt at holding his hands in the air.

“Hey, you’ll get no complaint for me. I’m the single one in the room right now.” And he laughed, but Arthur thought that if anyone would have a partner it would be Charles. Then again, he never really Charles show much interest in wanting to be in a relationship. It was a shame though, he would make someone a great boyfriend.

“Sadie, do you smoke?”

Arthur tried to hide his smile at Charles’ sudden question. He learned that the athlete toked because he came to class one time smelling loud, and everyone knew that it was either Javier, or him, or both of them because they always went out to smoke during lunch and went to fifth period high as a kite. They had either had science or English during that period but depending on the day. The English teacher always told the students about her time at Woodstock, so she definitely didn’t care if they came to class high. He remembered overhearing her joke to them that it’s what Shakespeare would have wanted. Their science teacher, however, was a curmudgeon. He was old and miserable that he had to be a high school science teacher. He also had moments of saying racist remarks and so he definitely cared when the two people of color in his class came in smelling like pot. But Charles was the school’s star sportsman, and his grades were good, and the students and faculty for the most part thought he was a decent enough kid. Javier was popular with stoners and women alike; they would revolt if he got disciplined for it.

Sadie sucked her teeth and nodded.

“I ain’t no pothead aficionado, but yeah.”

Charles looked over at Arthur. Eyebrows raised to show that the question was now directed at him. He nodded, not sure why he was excited to admit that information. Charles really liked that answer because he was grinning from ear-to-ear.

“Perfect. Why don’t we smoke before we get some ice cream?”

“I can’t hotbox my car with John in it, Charles!”

If he wasn’t holding Copper’s leash, he would have put his hands on his hips to really show him how bad of an idea that was.

“No, I mean why don’t I roll us something while you walk Copper?”

Arthur was always the blunderous fool whenever he was around Charles.

“Oh. Oh, well…I suppose that’s fine. You ready to leave once we finish?”

Charles gave a slow nod. When Arthur was satisfied with that he looked at Sadie.

“Mrs. Adler, I’d appreciate it if you stayed with Charles while I take Copper for his walk. Reckon Charles could use the company, and I ain’t gonna be very long walking him he just like to go twice around the block.”

Sadie looked kind of like that’s exactly what she wanted him to say, but she played it off like she wanted to put up a fight about it.

“Are you sure, Arthur?”

He nodded and gave her a reassuring smile.

“Sure, I’m sure, Sadie. We ain’t gonna be but a few minutes, and I don’t want to be too late in picking John up from school anyway. Y’all can trash talk me to your heart’s desire while I’m away!”

Arthur intended for it to come off as a joke, but he could tell that it didn’t land because neither Charles or Sadie looked like they even heard the humor in it. He just pulled at his uniform cap and wrapped his hand around Copper’s leash one time before wordlessly walking to the door. He gave them a wave and one last smile before he left the house.

When Arthur closed the door, Charles turned to Sadie and said, “Do you want to roll?”

She shrugged and started heading towards the staircase.


	16. Chapter 16

Ever since they met in McDonald’s, Sadie was dying to meet Charles again. She’d promised herself that she would clear the air with him, maybe even apologize for dragging him into their talk. There was one thing that she couldn’t get over during that whole exchange. It was what Charles said in response to her thinking he was Arthur’s boyfriend.

Sadie was far from a genius, but that was a weird thing to say in response to someone you barely know having a boyfriend. It all happened to quickly, but Charles looked dismayed to hear that, almost in disbelief that Arthur was dating someone. Since that happened she couldn’t stop wondering if he was shocked at the prospect of her coworker dating someone, or if he was shocked at the fact that he wasn’t dating her coworker. Either way this was her chance to settle the air without Arthur being around. To be honest, she wanted to tell him straight up that she didn’t like Dutch. She didn’t need to know every last thing about him, but she knew enough from the short interaction they had that there was something sketchy about him. Far be it from her to tell someone who to love, but it really didn’t sit well with her that he was so much older than Arthur.

“Oh, goddamit!”

She looked down at the mess of paper and weed in her hands as she messed up the roll, once again. Arthur had only been gone for five minutes, so she wasn’t exactly pressed for time, but it was the fact that her mind kept wandering to that blond boy that was walking a dog. She didn’t know him, but she worried for him a lot! Charles came hobbling over to her. He took to sitting on the bed and letting her do her thing at his desk. When she sucked her teeth, she heard his crutches and soon he was standing behind her.

“You alright?”

She sighed and nodded. She was okay, at least, she thought that she was okay enough to do something as menial as that. But she was not doing a good job of it. She felt embarrassed, she told him that she could roll and all she was doing was wasting his papers.

“I thought I was.” She said, snark dripping from her voice.

“What’s wrong? Can’t roll?”

She just laughed in response and gestured to the shitty joint that she couldn’t possibly let them smoke. It was her first time hanging out with people that weren’t Jake since they moved to this town and she didn’t want to mess it up.

“I think I’m getting distracted.”

“Distracted?”

She nodded and pushed the mound of grinded weed over to Charles. He let out a breath of laughter and they switched seats. She helped him to take a seat before going to the bed and putting her hands over her eyes. She wondered if Charles was the right person to talk about this with her. All she knew about him was what she saw at the drive-thru and what Arthur told her on the car ride over. Then she thought about what Arthur said when she suspected that he liked Charles. Would it be betraying his trust? It didn’t matter know, she guessed. She already got Charles worrying about her.

“You could say that.”

Charles surveyed the massacre that Sadie brought about on his weed and could only shake his head with a small smile. He turned to look at her.

“I don’t think there’s anything else I could say. You _sure_ you know how to roll?”

She rolled her eyes and groaned loudly. He laughed a little louder at the reaction.

“I promise I’m better at this! My mind just ain’t in the right place, I’m afraid.”

She could hear the crinkling of the fresh paper that Charles garnished. He wasn’t facing her anymore, all his focus turning into making the group something smokable. He hummed and she knew that he was still listening to her, his attention just had to be divided.

“I’m thinking about Arthur.”

Charles snorted. She tried to peek over his shoulder from the bed and she could see that he now had the weed neatly piled in the center and was just about finished with shaping the paper.

“Aren’t we all…”

“Pardon?”

She saw the way his broad shoulders stiffened and the way it looked like he froze, not intending on being caught saying that so loud. She giggled behind her hand. She heard what he said clear as day. It was cute that he had such a blaring crush on her newly-acquired friend, it wasn’t cute that said friend was completely oblivious to it. Charles was stuttering as he tried to cover his slip-up.

“Ah, well….I just mean…he’s out there with Copper and…sometimes that dog gets rowdy and, you know…”

Sadie wanted so badly to tell him that a good liar he was not and if anything, if she didn’t suspect him of crushing on Arthur now, she definitely had reason to now. Could Arthur really not see this or was he just ignoring it? Either way, she wasn’t Arthur, and since he wasn’t here now she could ask Charles straight up.

“Charles, you like Arthur don’t you?”

The teen in question was probably glad that she couldn’t see his face. She figured that if he could, he would be blushing from the unexpected question. She did the same thing to Jake before they started dating. She never was good at keeping secrets, and was even worse at not holding her tongue when it came to asking questions. In her old home, her neighbors and friends appreciated her for it. Here, she wasn’t too sure, considering that this was the second time that she made someone clam up instead of open up. She thought herself good on the self-esteem front, but talking with Arthur and Charles was enough to ask Jake to validate her while they laid in bed tonight. She either picked the two most stoic men in Blackwater, or this served as a painful reminder that they were still young, compared to her. Arthur didn’t really act his age, and she figured that if it managed to pull her to him, then it was no wonder that he was a beacon for twenty-somethings like Dutch. Charles just seemed like a quiet sort of guy. But if he was sitting her, on the prospect of smoking weed in their first meeting, then maybe she was doing something right.

Charles was quiet for a long while before she heard his quiet response.

“I…shouldn’t answer that.”

“Why not? I ain’t the police.”

He snorted out a laugh at that. She cocked her own smile. She wasn’t trying to bum him out, honestly. Put him on the spot, of course, but that’s only because it was just the two of them. She wouldn’t act like this if she wasn’t sure that something was brewing between the two of them.

“He got a boyfriend, you know that.”

She rolled her eyes. She knew that Arthur talked about that man with hearts in his eyes, but all she saw was a disheveled man who only came to vent his frustrations at Arthur before leaving. She didn’t hear all that they were talking about; Arthur was mostly excited about the dinner that he probably didn’t have much say in anyway because Dutch already made reservations. So yes, she did know that, and the only reason she wasn’t flat out trying to shove Charles and Arthur in a closet together was because she respected that Arthur and Dutch were already together. Her mind kept trailing back to Arthur in the car. The way he begged for her to understand that he wasn’t “easy” and that he would never cheat on Dutch no matter what. In the moment she comforted him, she wanted him to feel safe and like he didn’t have to defend himself constantly. But in her head, she was thinking about how Arthur nearly cried defending his relationship Dutch to the death; her idea of love may have been different but she knew that Arthur treating Dutch like he was his whole world was _off_ and even though she barely knew the older man, some part of her was desperately trying to tell her Dutch would probably never do the same for him if the tables were turned. Tables that he couldn’t hit, too.

“Charles, I ain’t asking if you want to tongue him down. I’m just asking if you like him.”

The teen let out a loud sigh and set down the half-packed joint on the desk. She thought that it would a be a miracle if that joint was finished by the time Arthur got back. She wasn’t sure what time exactly, John got out but she was sure that it was soon enough or else he wouldn’t be so anal about the time. What she did have time for was getting to the bottom of who was pining for who.

“Sure, I like him…you know we were friends in kindergarten.”

“Is it only friendship?”

Charles’ didn’t answer and it was then that she decided to back down. She didn’t think that she could find anyone that got more flustered than Arthur, but she was ready to eat her words. He quietly kept working on his project and she looked around the room. She was determined to not piss him off or make him more uncomfortable than he already was. She was able to sit idle for a few minutes uninterrupted, but Charles wasn’t apparently because he filled the room with his voice again.

“You met Dutch, right?”

She rolled her eyes and fixed her face into a scowl.

“That depends on what you mean by ‘met’. All he did was look me up and down before taking Arthur to the emptiest part of the store.”

Charles scoffed.

“Sounds like quite the gentleman.”

“Enough of a gentleman for Arthur, looks like.”

She saw the way Charles bristled at that. The mere mention of Dutch by name and the fact that he was the love of Arthur’s life seemed to do something to him, but she wasn’t sure if that was anger, jealousy, sadness, or all of the above. She was trying to be careful about it, which is why she let the topic drop, but if Charles asked her about Dutch then that means he was just as curious about her friend’s personal life.

“I saw him hit the table once, while they were talking. Dutch looked upset about something, Arthur just seemed to…take it. They got over it real fast, and not much sooner after that Arthur came running to the back of the store telling me that they was going out to eat this Friday. For their anniversary.”

“Anniversary?”

“Two years, according to Arthur.”

Of all the times she thought that the conversation between them was over, it got revived again. It just so happened that after this specific line of discussion was what definitely ended the conversation. She didn’t mind it though, she sat and waited for Charles to finish. It wasn’t too long before he brandished the rolled and quite frankly, gorgeous joint. She was impressed.

“Now we just have to wait for our guest of the hour.”

She chuckled and muttered, “Sure does seem like it’s taking him an hour.”

Charles laughed and nodded.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next time I'll be updating it'll be from Italy!


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: WEED MENTION/MARIJUANA REFERENCES

When Arthur was nearly done with walking Copper he pulled his phone out to check the time. He had about thirty minutes before John was let out from school, and this time he had no detention so he had to be picked up on time. He promised John at the beginning of the year that he would never be late to pick him up, but then he messed up the last time and chose his boyfriend over his brother and it almost resulted in John being seriously hurt. He would never forgive himself. He owed Charles in more ways than one and while no one else seemed to understand or exaggerated it, walking his dog was the literal least he could do. Hell, he would wash his car for a month if it made Charles feel better. He always caught eyes with the now injured teen mowing his lawn or playing with his dog more than they ever spoke to each other. Anything more than that and he felt like he was suffocating and would try to leave before there was any chance for conversation. This was the most that he ever spoke with him since kindergarten, and even the off and on small talk that they had during the short time he spent in high school. He wondered why he was ever scared to talk to Charles in the first place, but then he remembered how he cried while they were in the hospital, how weird Arthur acted when Charles rolled up to the drive-thru window and then he was reminded that they never spoke because Arthur was scared to death of Charles realizing that he was still the same pathetic weirdo that he’d always been. He hadn’t changed at all in all the time he’s been alive, except now he got a little boy to take care of. Charles was cool when they met and lord help Arthur if he ever learnt how he only seemed to be cooler as they got older. He didn’t have many friends in kindergarten, save himself, and even then Arthur always told himself that Charles was just too nice to tell him to buzz off. Maybe Charles would have had more friends if he was never nice to Arthur in the first place. But then Arthur was overcome with the horribly selfish thought that if he had left Charles alone then he would have never had a friend, and even worse, Charles would have more people flocking to him and where would Arthur have been if that would’ve happened?

He was glad, at least, that it worked out like this. Even if it took him nearly ten years to build up the courage to talk to him again.

Copper was tugging on the leash and whining at his handler, who was too lost in thought to see that the dog was more than ready to go back to his real owner. Arthur looked down at the hound and ran a hand over the soft red fur.

“You know if you was my dog, I’d have named you Clifford.”

Arthur wasn’t too sure how much of that the dog actually understood, but judging by the disapproving face he managed to show, it was probably most of the sentence. A chuckle escaped his lips, and he tugged at the leash as a show that they were on the same page. Copper barked happily and began his trot back to his house. Arthur wondered what went on while he was away. He got a ding on his phone and when he brandished it, he saw that there was a lone notification from John. He was supposed to be in class still, but knowing his mischievous little brother, the boy probably snuck off into the bathroom to send this message. As his thumb moved to unlock his phone he hoped for John’s sake that he didn’t go out of his way and risk his phone being confiscated to send him a meme. He was relieved when he saw that it was an actual text message and not a photo.

_“We still getting ice cream?”_

Arthur rolled his eyes and sighed. He knew that the boy was still very young compared to him, but making plans with John tended to be a headache sometimes. It wasn’t intentional and Arthur knew that full well, but John’s nerves tended to get the best of him when it came to time sensitive plans or issues so it wasn’t out of the ordinary for him to ask Arthur whenever he could if a plan was still on. It must’ve been bothering him all day since he ran out of class to ask him this. He took in a deep breath and on the exhale started typing back his reply.

_“Of course we are.”_

Copper turned the corner and Arthur looked up momentarily to make sure that the dog was still firmly by his side, and that he didn’t walk into any street poles. His phone dinged. 

_“Is Charles coming?”_

Arthur had half a mind to lie to him, but then he remembered how excited John got just thinking about the prospect of Charles joining them and he couldn’t bring himself to mess with him when he can’t see his reaction.

_“Yeah he’s coming, don’t worry. Now take your ass back to class!”_

He got sent a flurry of emojis that had nothing to do with the other and after two more minutes passed, he didn’t get another text. John must’ve been chuffed with the response. Copper stopped walking and Arthur learned in the short time they’ve been in this arrangement, it’s because they were at Charles’ house. He walked up to the door and opened it, and after the two of them were safely inside, he locked the door and removed Copper’s leash. The dog shook his body and then ran off excitedly to go find his owner. Arthur went to the kitchen to hang up the leash and wash his hands. He could hear Copper’s excited barking and the pleasant sound of Charles’ laughter from upstairs and even he found it difficult to hide a smile from the commotion. He dried his hands and then followed the noise until he found Charles and Sadie sitting down on the floor, both taking turns petting and playing with the dog who would run up to the both of them when he was tired of his previous playmate. Copper hopped over the leg circle the two made and barked at Arthur happily, scampering over to him. Arthur was always receptive to Copper’s attention and knelt down to join in on the playing.

“It’s about time you showed, we was fixing to smoke this without you!”

Arthur’s brows rose in interest and just as soon as he did that, Sadie brandished a finely rolled joint in his face. Charles was snickering to himself as he caught a look at the no doubt ridiculous expression that he had glued to his face. Fine rolling aside, he didn’t have time to respond to her first statement, and then she just whipped that out and then he lost double time to be able to react. While they were both having a laugh at him, he nervously fixed at his cap and then cleared his throat so that their laughter wouldn’t overpower his voice.

“Charles your pa let you smoke in your home?”

Arthur waited for the teen to collect himself enough to respond. He just shrugged.

“He ain’t home much often in the day anyway, and I’m sure he knows that I smoke too. I just keep Copper out of the room and do my best to air the place out for whenever he comes home.”

Arthur couldn’t help but feel just slightest hint of envy at that. His father would demolish him if he ever found out or caught him smoking in the house. But then again, Lyle’s beaten him for much smaller offenses.

“Wow Charles, you really got a lot of free time, don’t you?” Sadie asked, both eager to start their smoke session, and equally as curious about Charles’ schedule.

Arthur couldn’t help but look at Sadie funny for that. Then he remembered that she didn’t know nearly as much about him as he did. He wondered what that must be like. Of course he didn’t know everything there was to know about Charles either, but they’ve always been so close to each other from the time they met, he reasoned that he could make a few educated guesses about most of his life.

“I wish that was the case, Sadie. If my leg weren’t broken, I’d be having football practice right now.”

Without thinking, Arthur smiled almost like he was happy to brag on Charles’ behalf and interjected, “Charles the star athlete of our school. Oh, um, I meant his school. You ain’t find no one else that stayed later.”

Then he suddenly felt very stupid for butting in a conversation that didn’t involve him, and for answering on behalf of Charles without being told to. He briefly met eyes with said teen. He was staring up at him with a straight face, and Arthur was unsure if he was upset or happy that he spoke out of turn. Saving him the effort of expressing it, he bowed his head and clasped both of his hands together.

“I’m…I’m sorry, Charles, that weren’t my place to say.”

Sadie and Charles sobered for a moment before they both made eye contact with each other. It was Charles that spoke first. His tone appearing more soothing than ever.

“That’s okay, Arthur. You saved me the trouble of sounding like a broken record, at least. No one’s mad at you, now come, sit with us.”

Arthur didn’t know what it was that made everything seem okay again. Maybe it was the soft beckoning, or the way Charles didn’t react and call Arthur stupid, or anything else that might teach him his lesson for speaking when not being spoken to. It made him feel like kindergarten all over again. Charles shooed Copper out of the room and when the dog obediently scampered away, Arthur absent-mindedly closed the door behind him and took his seat that was made for him by the two who already created their circle.

“Are my windows opened?”

Sadie and Arthur checked and confirmed that they were. Like a magician, Charles brandished a lighter and gave it to Sadie. She didn’t look too pleased at the gesture.

“What you giving it to me first for? Jake always told me it go to the one that rolled it. You take first hit.”

Charles looked incredulous at the rebuttal.

“I…never heard that before in my life.”

Arthur just sat and quietly watch them try to one up each other in politeness. He just wished they’d hurry up because he got to get John. They must have read his mind because Charles was handing him the lighter, and Sadie was handing him the blunt.

“How about the guy that walked Copper so I could roll in the first place?”

Sadie smiled wryly and nodded.

“The same guy that walked Copper and that is also taking us out for ice cream!”

Arthur kicked himself for looking shocked that he was getting the honors when he wasn’t here for the process.

“Me?”

Sadie placed the joint in his hand and like a robot he placed the filter in between his lips. He accepted the lighter and just before he lit it, he looked back at Sadie and Charles for confirmation that they’re okay with this decision. Charles smiled and said, “It’s okay, Arthur.”

And somehow, that little utterance of a sweet nothing was the final force that made Arthur flick the lighter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back from Italy! I saw a lot of amazing things like the David statue, and Botticelli's Angel and the Birth of Venus, and now I'm back and ready to update jet-lagged and all!


	18. Chapter 18

The three soon piled into Arthur’s car after they finished their smoke session. It wasn’t eventful really, Charles and Sadie bantered about nothing and at one point they got into a heated debate over whether or not you pour the milk in first, or the cereal. Arthur didn’t get too high, he was the one driving and if John was going to be in the car then he didn’t want to be pulled over or worse, get into an accident because he was being stupid. Charles seemed calmer if anything, more willing to speak. If Sadie was already chatty sober, she was even chattier when she’s high. Chatty mixed with bouts of uncontrollable laughter, that often became contagious when Arthur and Charles had nothing else to focus on.

“This your first time smoking, Arthur?”

Arthur shook his head. They were all sat in the car. Charles just fastened his seatbelt and Sadie beside him in the backseat. He found it thoughtful that they remembered the rule about John sitting passenger. Charles asked him with a wide smile on his face. Arthur learned that today too, that Charles gets this silly grin plastered onto his face if he’s high. Or maybe this was the first time he’s ever done it, he shouldn’t be making assumptions like that.

“I smoke near every night.”

Charles looked shocked to hear that, and Sadie just giggled.

“Really? I do too, I never see you in the usual spots.”

He meant that most of the other kids in the town had hangouts where they would drink, smoke, and do anything that they could without getting arrested. He smiled at the question.

“I just sit in the porch of my house most times.”

Sadie ran out of the breath that kept her laughing, and Charles just rested his arms on the shoulder part of Arthur’s seat. The car was silent for a moment.

“Do you smoke with Sadie often?”

Sadie shook her head and started laughing again; Arthur’s cheeks tinged red and he cleared his throat to banish the embarrassment of what he was about to say.

“Oh no, reckon this the first time the two of us ever hung out together that weren’t related to working. I usually just smoke a few bowls by myself and then go to bed.”

“And that’s it? That’s the only time you ever smoke?”

He shrugged, unbothered by the surprise in Charles’ tone.

“Don’t care too much to get high in the daytime no more. I used to smoke in front of my job but then figured it ain’t worth it to make John go hungry because I want to be high taking orders. Besides, it…it helps me sleep.”

Charles hummed a sound of discontent.

“Do you often need help sleeping?”

If only Charles _knew._ Arthur ain’t formally been to a doctor to confirm this, but he looked it up on the internet once and he was positive that he had insomnia. He timed himself sleeping after he read a few articles about it. For the whole week, Arthur only had ten hours of sleep. He started smoking weed just before he turned sixteen, and when he timed himself again after taking up the pastime, he got thirty hours of sleep for the week and he felt so much better. He was always worried for himself, for John, about his father and school and anything else you could concern yourself about. He often worked himself up too many nights to the point where he just couldn’t sleep, and if he did, it would feel like he might as well have break night.

“I…I think I’m alright now.”

He flashed a reassuring smile into the rearview. Charles’ deep brown eyes met his blue ones. Arthur knew that there was more that he wanted to ask, Sadie was already zoned out and staring out the window. They were almost at John’s school. All they had to do was get ice cream and then everyone can go about their merry day. Sadie moved to open a bag of chips she had in her pocket. Charles broke eye contact to stare at the chips she was about to eat.

“Sadie did you…Aren’t those from my kitchen?”

“Yep.”

“When did you?....How did you even get those?”

Sadie popped a wavy sour cream and onion chip into her mouth and flashed the most mischievous grin that Arthur had ever seen on her face.

“I saw him as soon as I walked into your house. I was trying to ask you if I could eat them, but you was too busy gawking at Arthur.”

Charles sputtered and Arthur’s eyes widened at the comment. He tightened his grip on the steering wheel and pretended that he didn’t hear that. Charles attempted to cough the awkwardness away, pretending to clear his throat of the nothing that got lodged in it. Through it all, Arthur heard the way Sadie laughed to herself at the commotion she caused. Charles didn’t have a reason to be upset, he wasn’t gawking and even if he was, why would he react this way to being called out on it? It didn’t mean anything. At least, that’s what Arthur thought.

“Those are probably stale.”

“They ain’t, thank you very much.”

Arthur couldn’t help but sneak a quick chuckle at Charles and Sadie. He wished that he’d partner them up sooner because they have been an absolute laugh riot the entire time they’ve been together. That is, when Sadie isn’t trying to force Arthur upon Charles. Even if Arthur wasn’t already in a relationship, Charles would never go for someone like him anyway. The powers that be were kind enough to let Arthur be this close to him. They weren’t little kids anymore, Arthur knew that once his leg was healed enough, or he hired someone to take care of Copper, they would go back to being two acquaintances that live across the street from each other and will stay that way until someone moves or dies. Charles was probably at his wit’s end trying to be nice all the time to him. Or maybe, he was being this nice in the first place not because he remembers their time when they were young, but he knew that Arthur would do anything for anyone as long as they’re kind to him. The thought hurt, but he still couldn’t help but be grateful for the chance anyway. He made the last turn to get to his brother’s school. They would be just getting out for the day by the time Arthur arrives. He made sure to get there earlier as an unspoken apology to John for all that he went through before.

“We’re almost there, y’all. How’s them chips, Sadie?”

She popped two tiny ones into her mouth and chewed. She was peering down into the bag when she responded.

“Between you and me…they a bit stale.”

Arthur flicked his eyes over to Charles and saw the way his mouth gaped at her words and for the second time he had to laugh. The car came to a gentle stop and Arthur shift the gear into park, while he stared out of the passenger window, waiting for John to come running over as per usual. Arthur heard the bag ruffling in the back, and then the sound of two people munching away at chips. He figured they must have been starving, munchies be damned, if they’re eating stale chips and actually enjoying it.

“John’ll be out in a few minutes. Can y’all promise me not to die of hunger before he gets here?”

Charles swallowed the mouthful of chips and nodded.

“No promises.”

Arthur sighed and he turned back to John-watching. It was five minutes before he saw the whole school was out and his brother was not. He tried not to be clingy or annoying about it, but he was already reaching into his pocket to get his phone out to ask the boy if he fell down the rabbit hole. Turns out he could spare himself the trouble because John came darting out of the school with a grin on his face. Arthur’s face softened at the sight and he got out the car to meet him. John launched himself into a hug. He wrapped his arms around Arthur’s waist and buried his head deep into his older brother’s stomach. Arthur just stroked the boy’s hair and tried to reciprocate the hug despite the height difference.

“Alright, now we best get our ice cream, before the mall closes.”

“It ain’t going to close until nine o’clock, Arthur! It ain’t even five yet!”

“I know that you ninny! This afternoon make me feel like I been surrounded by slowpokes and I would appreciate a little more pep in your step. What was you doing that took you so long anyway?”

John looked down and then at his hand. One of them was balled up into a fist and he looked reluctant to open it for a second.

“It’s for Charles.”

Arthur’s brows raised and he crossed his arms in a teasing manner.

“Oh you giving Charles gifts now? You ain’t even know him last week.”

“But I know him this week, don’t I? I ain’t old like you, I can’t know all these grown folk here.”

Arthur ruffled his hair and then started making his way to the driver’s seat.

“Relax, John, I’m just pulling your leg. I think it’s very nice of you to bring him a gift.”

John looked like some of the brewing anger in him subsided and that calmed Arthur’s nerves. John was latched to the passenger side door. He managed to get his door opened faster than Arthur did. In no time, Arthur saw his brother leap into the car seat like he was shielding himself from an atomic bomb. The driver himself was working on his seatbelt while John excitedly turned around to see Charles.

“Hi Charles!”

“Hey, John!”

John turned to look at Sadie, and Arthur could already sense the tension emanating from his little brother’s body. He placed a hand on the boy’s back and smiled.

“This here’s my friend Mrs. Sadie Adler. She from work.”

“Howdy, John! It’s nice to finally be meeting you, your brother always talk about you at work.”

John looked confused at that.

“He does?”

Charles laughed and said, “I don’t think there’s ever really a time where he doesn’t bring you up in conversation, John. Almost makes me wish I had a big brother to do that for me.”

John was seriously pondering this thought, and it was during this moment of brainstorming, Sadie stuck her hand out as an offer of a handshake. He hesitated. He looked up at her and back down at her hand, almost like he was waiting for her sneak attack or something equally as upsetting. When Arthur saw the lull in the chat, he patted the boy’s back.

“It’s alright, Johnny. I would never bring no one around you if I thought they was fixing to hurt you, okay? She’s nice and she one of the good adults. You can trust her, alright?”

After hearing his brother’s words, he gulped but he accepted Sadie’s hand. The handshake looked weak and like John still didn’t trust her as far as he could throw her. But this was going better than the first time he met Dutch. It was going to take work to get John to warm up to others that were older than the two of them, but the fact that he shook Sadie’s hand was a big deal, whether she noticed or cared at all. John quickly turned away and took his seat properly. He fastened his seat belt and held Charles’ gift tightly in his balled up fist. Arthur felt like bringing it up again but Charles beat him to it.

“What’s in your hand?”

John smirked and then craned his neck to face him.

“I ain’t telling you until we get there.”

“Oh? Is it for anyone in this car?”

John’s smirk became a full smile at the prodding Charles was doing.

“Yeah.”

Arthur could hear Charles’ own smile in his voice.

“Who?”

“You. But I ain’t letting you see it until we get ice cream, understand?”

The three of them laughed at John’s sudden command. Charles nodded.

“I hear you loud and clear. I can’t wait to see what it is.”

John looked back down at his hand and smiled as he thought about the gift he was about to give.


	19. Chapter 19

The first thing Arthur did when they pulled into the mall was help Charles out of the car. Charles, of course, protested this.

“Arthur, what are you doing?”

Arthur knew that he was trying to be offended but failing. He sounded scared at first, surprised second. The blond had the door open and his crutches ready, all he was missing was the one who owned them. He had his hand extended and was moving to hold Charles’, but every time he even so much as inched his way over to him, Charles recoiled.

“What you mean? I’m just trying to give you a hand is all.”

“A hand?”

Arthur looked down at his open hand and then back at Charles. Was he so high he thought that Arthur meant an actual human hand? Or did he just not want Arthur to touch him?

“Yeah.”

Charles looked at Sadie, and then back at Arthur. Arthur himself wasn’t sure on what to make about the situation, but he really did want to help him get out the car.

“I can get out fine.”

The surprise wore off and Arthur saw the faint way Charles looked irritated.

“You sure?”

The man he questioned grunted as he hoisted himself out of the car without so much as a look that he was in need of aid. He did look like he was in pain though, and Arthur wanted to place a hand on his shoulder, somewhere, anywhere as a sign of concern. Maybe he shouldn’t have invited him out so soon after the accident. He needed to rest more than anything but then he was hauled out here by John and himself and now he’s not going to have a good time because who the hell wants to walk on crutches for longer than three minutes?

“Thank you for getting my crutches for me, though.”

Charles sounded thankful this time. Like he realized on the way out that maybe he did need help after all. He was like that too, he supposed. Too stubborn to ask or accept help. He felt stupid for embarrassing him like that in the first place. Charles was already making his way over to the entrance of the mall before Arthur could say anything back. Sadie came walking over to him and, he could hear the sound of John’s door opening as Sadie spoke.

“He ain’t want me to help him sit down either back at his house.”

Arthur was just looking at her, trying and failing to think of a response before he felt John’s hand grab his own. He was looking up at him with a short smile.

“I’ll take your hand, loser.”

Arthur returned a smile and the three started making their own way to the mall. Charles hobbling just a few paces faster than them. He did wait for them after he got through the sliding doors. In an instant, Arthur’s ears filled with the awful trilling of what was considered “mall music” but little more than muffled pop songs playing on a speaker somewhere. He almost missed the way Dutch’s playlist sounded. Almost.

“Look!”

Turns out he didn’t even need to look because not long after John nearly screamed that word, Arthur was being dragged over to the window of a toy shop. No, not just a toy shop now that he got a good look at it, it was _the_ toy shop. The Lego Store. In no time John’s face was plastered to the displays that they had in the front of the store. If he could, he would be salivating. Arthur took the time to get a good look at what hypnotized his little brother. It was a giant version of Lego Thor. They had Thor and Captain America posed just like their miniatures. He hated the way they smiled.

“Can we go inside?”

Arthur turned around to see if Charles and Sadie were still standing behind them. He saw that the two were hopping around from kiosk to kiosk trying to get away with browsing before the kiosk-owner tried to spring a trap on them. Charles was in front of the kiosk where they sold the emoji pillows. He was eyeing the poop emoji. Sadie was at a cellphone kiosk, trying to pick out a new phone case. When he was satisfied with what he saw, he looked down at John and nodded.

“Sure.”

Once again he was being dragged. He was led right into the heinously colored store. It was bright with reds and yellows and oranges. The disgusting yellow of the store quite frankly, disgusted him and made him think of those too-yellow fries that he was constantly serving and cooking at his job. Now that he thought about it, it would make sense that John would be drawn to this store like a moth to a flame. The way he ate mac and cheese, cheeseburgers, and French fries whenever Arthur brought some back, it made all the sense in the world. His little brother unlatched his fingers and made a mad dash to the superhero section of the store. Arthur crossed his arms and stood next to the entrance, keeping an eye on his brother, while also looking at all the toys that the store held. He was almost twenty but he still always managed to be in awe of how cool the toys looked.

He didn’t really have very many toys. Just the ones that his mother was able to sneak past his dad. They were mostly dollar store action figures or, when they had the money on Christmas, he would get a real toy. The year before his mother died, he asked her for paint and paper. Truth be told he didn’t really like playing with the action figures, and it got lonely, and tiring, after a while to keep playing by himself. He didn’t actually expect to get a little set of water color as a birthday present. They were the Crayola brand too. She also got him a set of painting paper too. He painted the entire night after he got it. He didn’t get very many things in the way of gifts that wasn’t from her, so to him, that was the only thing that mattered. He wishes more than anything that he could do the same for John. But he just never seemed to have enough money that didn’t go to anything that wasn’t food and other necessities. Who the hell makes children’s toys so expensive anyway? Arthur sighed and rubbed at the bridge of his nose. Maybe there was still time to save up enough for one of the sets. Something bigger and better than the overpriced single character boxes. Soon his eyes were scanning again, searching for something fit for his brother.

“Arthur.”

Said man blinked twice and looked down at John, who seemed much calmer than when he previously came in. He was holding both his backpack straps, and staring up at his big brother with wide brown eyes. He smiled up at him for the second time since they’ve been there and it threw Arthur for a loop again.

“You finished already?”

John did one last survey of the room before shrugging and nodding contentedly. His gaze falling back on his brother.

“I think so, yeah.”

Arthur followed his brother’s lead and took a good look around the store. There were children running around and shrieking as they huddled as close as possible to the tiny yellow figurines that were no doubt being protected by the boxes they were in. He also parents that looked tired and at their wit’s end. Some altered between trying to pull their child out of the store, letting their child wreak havoc on the poor toys that were available to be played with, and a few were even suckered into spending lord knows how much on those sets. John tugged at his hand, and it was at that Arthur got the message that John truly was over it. When they were out of the store, Arthur couldn’t help but be curious about John’s shift in mood. He didn’t seem upset, or distressed, but something was definitely off. Arthur just couldn’t place what it was.

“I ain’t know you liked them Marvel movies so much.”

“I like Thor the most. You remember when you took me to see it?”

Arthur hummed as he was reminded of the day he took John to see _Thor: Ragnarok_. John had seen most of the Marvel movies thanks to Mr. Summers being kind enough to take him and Sean along whenever Lenny wanted to go. Arthur took him to see _Avengers: Age of Ultron_ though, because he was curious about it too. John was young when the first one came out, and Arthur was too young to see it. He took John to see the last Thor movie because, and he refused to admit it to Tilly and Mary-Beth, but he had a slight crush on Chris Hemsworth after seeing the second Avengers movie. John was through the roof when he was told that they were going to the movies. What went on in the actual movie was good, but Arthur just couldn’t get over how much more handsome he looked in the movie, and then they introduced Valkyrie and Arthur thought that he was going to combust with all those good-looking people in it. John happily filled him in on the plot on the way back to their house. It was a good night, all in all.

“Sure, I remember.”

John’s lips stretched into a wider smile.

“Good.”

If that was supposed to stop Arthur’s confusion, then John had it all wrong. They stopped walking. Charles was making his way back over to them.

“No one ain’t give you no guff did they? In the store?”

It was John’s turn to look puzzled. Arthur knew that some of the people he used to go school with worked there part-time. He was worried that one of the cashier’s knew John, or in the very least, a parent went up to him and made some sort of slick comment. He didn’t know what he would do if that was the case. John was just a kid.

“Guff… about what?”

Arthur didn’t know how to answer, exactly. If there really was no problem, he didn’t want to make one by telling John that everyone knows they were poor. It wasn’t something that he could control and it most certainly wasn’t his fault. But if John was playing dumb, as he was wont to do, then Arthur needed to get the answer out of him. He was losing his nerve.

“About…just, did they say anything unkind towards you?”

“No, course not.”

John says that like it’s something too outlandish to consider. But Arthur knew better than him that the town wasn’t as kind as his brother thought them to be. All these people did in their spare time was gossip until the person they’re chatting about has their ears fall off. If anything haunts him more, it was the time just before and after he dropped out. He didn’t know so many townsfolk were aware, or even cared enough about his goings on to talk so much about him. He thought that if this was the sixteen hundreds, he surely would’ve been tried and hanged for being a witch. But if John was still truly that confused, even after Arthur’s attempt at prodding, then maybe nothing happened and he really just had to get that bout of excitement out of his system.

“Is everything okay?”

Charles was standing in front of them. He looked concerned but his voice didn’t dare betray that. Arthur cleared his throat. He was worried that looked too distressed in the moment but it’s because he was worried and didn’t want John to get treated like shit for existing. It just wouldn’t be right.

“Yeah, everything’s okay. I-I just got a bit too worked up about something, I’ll be alright don’t worry.”

Charles looked down at John and then back up at Arthur. He was incredulous about that but Arthur didn’t have time to break down all that didn’t happen while he was off shopping at kiosks. He saw that the injured teen was carrying a plastic bag. He must’ve bought that poop pillow.

“Where’s Sadie?”

Charles turned and pointed to a little photograph kiosk. Sadie was there speaking enthusiastically to the vendor about a picture they were both hunched down staring at. Arthur was about to take John’s hand again and walk over to the kiosk when the vendor stood up and he realized who it was.


	20. Chapter 20

Of all the people Arthur was expecting to see, or even _wanted_ to see was Albert Mason. He thought that he moved to New York! He hadn’t seen him since he was fourteen and about to start high school. Albert was two years older than him, but he carried himself in such a mature way that Arthur could not help but be in awe. Why was he still in Blackwater, running a mall kiosk of all things?

“Arthur, look at these pictures! Ain’t they something?”

Albert had his hands on his hips, smiling proudly at his works, letting Sadie’s compliments go to his head for a bit. Arthur can safely say now that he’s always had a thing for men with slightly bigger egos than him. Arthur wordlessly smiled, his lips firmly pressed together, he nodded quickly. He didn’t really hear all of what she said, but he refused to say anything until he was acknowledged by the photographer himself. He hated himself for even wanting that much.

When Albert was sufficiently done inflating his head, he laughed.

“Why thank you, I-I do try to put my best into these. Did you see the one with the wolves? They almost ate me alive! I took that picture when I just starting out, you know.”

John had already let go of his brother’s hand and was also drawn in by the stunning black and white prints sprinkled amongst dozens of tiny colored ones. He even sold cameras and Arthur had to wonder why he didn’t attempt to open his own store, or why he wasn’t in New York trying to get them published. He always was good with a camera. In Arthur’s past experiences, maybe too good. Now he wondered if Albert noticed him and was just trying to pretend that he wasn’t there. Arthur didn’t know if he preferred that or not. He heard Charles’ crutches hitting the cold tile of the mall to join in on the spectacle that was Albert Mason.

“Arthur?”

Albert was facing him now.  He was slack-jawed and his face was something akin to someone seeing a ghost. Was Arthur a ghost? He read in a book that people can’t usually see ghosts though, but Albert was staring at him clear as day. He could also see that Charles was breaking his focus to give the two of them a few looks. Arthur just really wished that one day in his life just went according to plan. But whatever deity was up there watching him and deciding his fate…they were being cruel and just having a laugh, he reckoned. But Albert was being nice, so he supposed that he should be too. He wondered if Albert ever thought about their last time together and how it all went down.

“Albert…hi.”

He raised his hand and tried not to wince when he felt the almost robotic hand movement. He didn’t know if he should’ve waved or hugged him, shook his hand? Maybe he should’ve done nothing and walked away before he was spotted, but he was here now, and he had to be brave. Besides, above all he would’ve been rude if he ignored Sadie. Albert was once again, numbed to the way Arthur was feeling and how uncomfortable he must’ve looked. He was still wearing those sunglasses. The damned sunglasses that poorly conceal that damned black eye his father gave him. He must’ve looked quite the sight to the photographer, he was still in his uniform and all. His McDonald’s uniform. Albert seemed to overlook all of this and waved back, more enthusiastic bordering on the edge of excitement at seeing him again. This tired, worn-out eighteen year old who was at the mall with his little brother who Albert hasn’t seen in years. John might remember him, but they were together for such a brief period he doubted it.

“How’s life been treating you?”

Arthur wanted to believe that Albert was asking because, on some level, he knew that his dad had at him again. Maybe he was acting oblivious to the fact that he was wearing sunglasses indoors not because of a desperate attempt to seem cool. How’s life been treating him? It wasn’t much of a life if Arthur had to answer truthfully. But he learned how to lie, just enough so that people’s suspicions wouldn’t be aroused.

“I been doing okay, I suppose.”

Redirect the conversation. Folks like it when you ask them about themselves. He wished he counted.

“What about you? Thought you was going to New York with all them rich folk.”

Albert laughed. He put his head back and grabbed at his sides. He always did think Arthur was funny and it always made his heart flutter.

“Yeah, yep, I certainly tried. Keyword here is tried. Spending so long down here in the west made me forget and resent the ones that reside in the east. I tried to stick it out, I really did, but holy hell are New Yorkers vicious!”

Charles and Sadie were now listening in on their conversation, and Arthur knew that the two of them, Sadie especially, were interested to know just how and why Arthur knew this completely random mall kiosk guy otherwise known as Albert Mason. John was over at Charles’ side, fumbling with that item he’d been holding since they picked him up.

“But New York compared to Blackwater…why would you come back?”

Charles seemed genuinely confused at the prospect of choosing this hick town over, what everyone in town has elected to believe, was a glimmering jewel of a city. At least when Arthur and Charles were growing up, Blackwater was a place that could be a dead end town if you let it. He was sure that kids everywhere with healthy families were encouraged to travel and leave their hometown, but with Blackwater, it was almost always encouraged. The sad part is that encouragement doesn’t pay and so the thought of leaving town was just another idle fantasy that everyone held steadfast to their hearts. Most of the kids at their school was so jealous that not only did Albert leave, but that he went to New York of all places. Albert didn’t seem fazed by this at all.

“It’s different, New York. Everyone there is trying to be a star in their own right, you know? You walk down a block in Manhattan and every person you cross is a starving creative like you, just trying to get their work out there. It saddened my heart really, and the competition is fierce like you would never believe! I’d rather take my chances dealing with the ferocity of Blackwater wilderness than that!”

Albert laughed again and this time, not even Arthur could hold back his own mirth. Charles didn’t seem pleased nor displeased about his answer. He just shrugged and turned back to browsing with Sadie and John. They were fixated on a photo of a hot air balloon, and only the balloon was colored. Arthur snuck a peek at it and it was quite breathtaking.

Or maybe all the tension he was holding was suffocating him. He just wanted to be gone.

“Well, this was nice and all, but I promised John here that we’d get some ice cream and I would like to do that before sunset.”

At the mention of his name, John came walking back over and immediately resumed his hand-holding. Staring at Albert up and down. He was quiet the whole time and Arthur’s mind could not stop going back to the toy store, wondering if something really did happen and John was trying to spare his feelings. Albert’s eyes widened.

“Oh dear, John? I hardly recognized you!”

Arthur squeezed John’s hand. He really was trying to get John to be better around adults, but it was hard to do that when the one adult he’s around the most is an utterly deplorable human being. He didn’t remember Albert, hell, he probably doesn’t really know who he is. Arthur tried to shield John from everyone when he was younger because he just couldn’t fathom the thought of someone else hurting him all because his stupid big brother didn’t want or know how to be alone.

“I don’t know you.”

John was half behind Arthur, ready to retreat fully if something were to happen. Arthur knew better though, he knew that John was waiting for this strange adult man to possibly lash out at him and try to hurt him. He didn’t know how else to convey to John that it wasn’t going to happen. Albert didn’t do that. At least, when he does want to hurt people, it’s not of the physical kind, and it was almost certainly not intentional. Albert was otherwise harmless, but it still hurt to be this close to him, not after what happened the year they broke-up, or at least, it was implied.

“That’s alright, you were much younger when I first met you.”

John looked thoroughly confused by it, and Arthur could tell that Charles’ interest was piqued again, even if he was trying to mask it behind a photo album. It really was time to go. Right now.

“I’m sorry, Albert but I really must be getting on. John gets hangry if he ain’t fed.”

Sadie quickly chimed in, “So do I!”

“Exactly my point.”

Albert looked disappointed to hear that. Why, Arthur hadn’t a clue and didn’t want to know. He just wanted to be gone from this kiosk and eating ice cream like he had planned to do. Albert clearly tried to put the past behind him, but Arthur couldn’t. Not really, anyway. He was civil and polite and now he just wanted to leave. John was tugging on his hand, urging him away from Albert, almost as desperate as Arthur. The teen coughed and pushed his glasses up before giving him a wave to signal that he truly was leaving.

“Arthur wait!”

Arthur did as he was told. He was always good at that and he hated it. Charles somehow ended up directly next to him, with John on the other side. Sadie was already losing interest in whatever it was that brought her to the kiosk in the first place. Her munchies were probably overwhelming her now. He shuddered at the thought of not only a hangry John but a hangry John in addition to a hangry Sadie probably would result in the mall being burnt to the ground. Albert handed him the photo of the wolves. Sadie was shocked.

“I always kept it in case I saw you again. Here.”

Arthur wordlessly took it and thanked him with a smile that hurt because it was so strained.

“It was nice seeing you again, really.”

There was something unmistakably tender in the way Albert said that, and it frightened Arthur. It frightened and saddened him and all of those other feelings in between. Charles placed a hand on his shoulder, like he knew, like he could tell that whatever interaction this was, whatever history the two of them had, it was making Arthur uncomfortable. Albert’s eyes darted over to Charles and then his smile shrunk as he returned back to work. Arthur gladly took the cue and the four of them started to make their way away from the kiosk, Arthur’s heartbeat only steadying when Albert became nothing more than a head in the crowd of people.

“He told me that it weren’t for sale when I asked him about it. How come he just gave it to you?”

Arthur looked down at the photo. It was tinted darker because of his shades. He sighed, reluctant to tell her anything, to speak more about him, but she asked.

“I helped him take the picture.”

Her eyes widened at that, and even Charles had to double-take at the confession. No one said anything for a while, the sound of the awful muffled pop music playing and the various noises of shoppers filled the air and their ears. It wasn’t until they were nearly at the Carvel that Charles spoke up again.

“Hell of a story, isn’t it?”

It wasn’t funny, it wasn’t intended to be funny, but Arthur wasn’t sure why he was cracking a smile at it. His shoulder’s gave one weak shake of laughter.

“Sure is.”

Arthur might tell them one day, or he might never, he wasn’t clairvoyant. All he knew was that they were at the mall because his little brother wanted ice cream. And even if it took them all day and night, he was going to do just that.


	21. Chapter 21

There were laughs all over. John was laughing at something silly Sadie said. Even Charles couldn’t hold back his laughter at whatever thing Arthur missed. He was next in line. The four of them were behind a family. A mom, a dad, and two sons who were just as eager to get their ice cream as the group behind them. Arthur was wrapped up in their moment rather than his. He stared at them the moment he walked in, John’s hand wrapped tightly with his own. The mom was happy, she looked down at her beloved sons and asked them both what they wanted. The kids couldn’t have been too far apart in age. One looked like he was at least four, and the other looked like he might have been seven. The youngest, too excited to correctly get his words out just earned something along the lines of a fond eyeroll.

“Mom, you know what he wants, he gets the same thing each time.”

“Do not!”

Arthur learned in that moment that maybe everyone had the same sibling fights. The two went back and forth like that for a while before the dad piped in.

“Alright, that’s enough.”

Arthur was expecting the father to get mad. Lyle would’ve been if he had to bear witness to that. He was filled with envy at the sight. Of the dad being just as calm and collected as the boys’ mother. He didn’t even look the slightest bit upset and all Arthur could think was that those two boys would never be him and John. _Were_ never them. It would be a cold day in hell before their father thought they were worthy enough to get a three dollar ice cream cone. He would shout at them before the question even left their mouths. If Arthur were to even broach the question, he could already see the vein in his dad’s neck threaten to bust right out of his skin and the quiet but already unsettling anger seeping through him. He would say something like he already spends too much money on them. He could take them to the mall, he would go on to say. He could take them to the mall and then adding the money that would need to be used for gas, and the ice cream cones (because he knew John would want fix-ins) he would just not pay the bills and when they were nice and homeless, he wanted them to think about how that all could’ve been avoided by not being pestered for shitty ice cream.

_“Your pa’s already stretched thin enough with money as is! Stop being ungrateful shits!”_

And then he found himself wishing that he was apart of the family in front. With the dad happily giving the money in while his sons were plastered to the glass containing all the ice cream and toppings, excitedly pointing to all they wanted. The mom watching them with a gentleness that he missed dearly from his own. John never really got the chance to know his mother. Arthur didn’t know whether that was a good thing or bad yet. She would caress her husband’s arm every so often. They looked _happy_ and that was always something new to Arthur. But then again, he was happy with Dutch. Incredibly happy, “over the moon” as Dutch would say. He blinked, realizing that his eyes were dry from lack of doing such. That perfect family walked away out the store and Arthur was shaken again to reality by his hand being swung wildly by his little brother.

“What you gawking at? It’s our turn!”

Arthur just moved up wordlessly, still not yet back to being very lucid. The cashier was a young woman that didn’t look much younger than him. She was smiling at him but he knew that smile of a customer service employee. She was suffering and he didn’t want to make it harder for her to end her shift as early as possible.

“Welcome to Carvel! What would you like?”

Arthur just shrugged and said, “I’d take a small chocolate cone.”

She started punching the prices into the register.

“Anything else?”

John raised his hand excitedly and without being asked to, he started rattling off his order.

“I want a waffle cone, with chocolate! And rainbow sprinkles please!”

The cashier’s smiled seemed a little more genuine after hearing that and she seemed to ease up just a bit. She took a look past Arthur and John and looked over at Sadie and Charles.

“Will this order be all together?”

Arthur tried his best to school his emotions but he really hoped that they wouldn’t say yes. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to pay for them, he would if he had the money. Charles shook his head and Sadie, still just as stoned, shook her head right after. Arthur hated that he felt relief at that, but he was already worried about whether or not he had money to pay for the both of them. He would get paid tomorrow which was great because Dutch’s dinner for him was the day after and that way, he could try to help out with the bill if things got too expensive for Dutch. The thought just came to him that he had yet to put an outfit together.

She rattled off the price for their order and Arthur exhaled when it was within a reasonable price. He handed her the money and then moved over to the next counter so that they could watch her make it. When they were taken care of, Arthur and John made their way over to the four person booth by the window. John was already well on his way to licking the sprinkles off his cone.

“It’s good ain’t it?”

Arthur only had one lick of his but it was delicious and just what he needed for the day. John smiled but then his face turned into a sour grimace when he clutched at his head and clenched his teeth. Arthur rolled his eyes and patted John on his shoulder.

“John you suppose to eat ice cream not inhale it. Calm down, partner.”

“It was gonna melt…”

He sounded genuinely distraught about this, and Arthur wasn’t quite sure why.

“Well not if you do it the way I taught you.”

Arthur told John many times that you’re supposed to lick around the cone instead of up and down.

“That only work in the movies.”

“Exactly. Now, how your head feeling now?”

“Like I can do that again!”

Arthur only got to open his mouth before John made a mad dash with his tongue back to the ice cream. It took that boy a bit before he learned his lesson. No matter how many times Arthur warns him otherwise.

“Cut it out! Your brain’ll rot like that!”

That only excited the little gremlin more, because in no time he was just about done with the first part of the cone. The crunch of the waffle demonstrating his swift progress through the dessert. Arthur heard someone whistle and when he turned to find the source, he saw Charles and Sadie making their way over to the table. Charles seemed very impressed by John’s eating skills.

“Wow, how slow did we walk over here?”

Arthur sucked his teeth at John and started angrily dapping at the side of his face with a napkin before answering.

“Don’t mind the little hobgoblin, he just don’t got much patience is all.”

Charles laughed and ruffled John’s hair.

“Nah, I get it. Carvel is amazing.” 

Sadie took a lick of her vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles and nodded. Charles had a small sundae. Vanilla ice cream with chocolate syrup and a cherry on top. Sadie held his cup for him while he took his seat in the booth. Sadie slid in afterward. She took another lick and said, “Soft serve was a gift, I reckon.”

Arthur chuckled at the three of them singing and expressing their high praise of the establishment.

“If y’all say that any louder, they might offer y’all some money for advertisement.”

Charles scoffed and took a spoonful of his ice cream.

“We should all be so lucky.”

There was the sound of another waffle cone bite in the air. Arthur took a bite of his own tiny corn.

“You know, I feel like kind of an asshole.”

Arthur cocked his head at Sadie.

“Why?”

“Well, you know how we always say the ice cream machine broke? Don’t we look a sight right now in our uniforms eating ice cream?”

“Last time I checked it really is broke.”

“When’d you hear that?”

“Last year.”

“And ain’t no one thought to fix it?”

Arthur shrugged and finished off the cone.

“Do you want to make McFlurries all day?”

Sadie thought about real hard. She took a thoughtful lick of her cone and after she’d finish chewing through a sprinkle she shook her head.

“No…I guess I don’t.”

“I ain’t ever have one of those before, Arthur.”

John was finished with his cone and was looking up at his brother with earnest eyes.

“I can still make them, John, I just don’t want to be making a thousand of those a day. Matter fact, that’s probably why it broke in the first place, poor thing just wanted some rest.”

Arthur was partly serious when he said that, but everyone else thought it was funny. Charles laughed the hardest for whatever reason. He didn’t think it was that comical but he was flattered. It did good for the ego.

“How long you’ve been sitting on that, Arthur?”

Arthur thought about it, blushed a little and shrugged.

“A while I guess.”

When John was done cleaning himself up, he started fidgeting with the item that he’d been holding since he got out of school. Arthur was just trying to carry own with his own business, but with the way John was playing with it, it made him curious too.

“You gonna give your gift to Charles?”

John looked up at him with a frown and then over at Charles. The man in question was just finishing another spoonful of his ice cream, confused as to why the two brothers were staring at him.

“Did I do something?”

“Remember John’s gift to you? I think now’s a good time for him to give it to you.”

Arthur nudged him twice and John reached over the table, brandishing a marker. The grown folk were equally confused at it.

“That’s what you was fussing over all day?”

Arthur didn’t want to make it seem like it wasn’t a big deal, but the fact that he was just as invested to the big reveal, he couldn’t help but feel that he was cheated for some reason.

“I was trying to pick out the right color, so I could draw something on Charles’ cast. On account of me being the reason for him being in one.”

Arthur’s eyes widened, but then his face softened, and his mouth spread into a calm but wide smile. He always appreciated those moments were John was able to show the more considerate part of himself.

“That’s very kind of you, John.” Arthur kissed him on top of his head. Charles took the purple Sharpie out of his hand and looked down at it.

“John that’s…very thoughtful of you. I’m gonna tell you each time until you understand that it was not your fault. I would like nothing more than for you to write on my cast.”

Arthur’s smile turned into a grin at the way the conversation was progressing. At first he was worried that John was going to be hesitant the whole time, reluctant to be around them, even though he invited Charles. But to see that John had planned this outing specifically, made his heart jump. He wanted to take part in it too.

“I…could also draw something…on your cast that is.”

Charles’ eyes lit up at Arthur’s offer and soon he was nodding so hard that Arthur worried his head was just going to fall off his head.

“Of course you can!”

Arthur laughed at Charles’ excitement at getting doodles on his cast but who was he to kill the mood?  


	22. Chapter 22

Arthur pondered for a long while what to draw on Charles’ cast. He offered quicker than he could think of something to draw. John was already scribbling away on the white plaster with his tongue poking out. He was the most concentrated that Arthur’s ever seen him. He was drawing some type of superhero symbol on him. Sadie was still licking away at the last bits of her ice cream and Charles was watching his little tattoo artist with quiet eagerness, the last scoop of ice cream in his cup was melted and more like a shake. Arthur’s mind was racing with so many possibilities. What did Charles like now? The last time they’d been close was so long ago that it was a miracle he could still remember it. His laugh came out like short exhale. There was nothing that Arthur wanted more than to be able to forget everything about his childhood, but then the thought of not being able to be comforted by the distant and fond memory of meeting Charles, and what little bits and pieces he could scrounge up for his mother being lost for good…it distressed him. A lot.

Almost as much as trying to decide what the hell to draw on this cast!

“And…done!”

John lifted the marker up and then beamed up at Charles to see his reaction. The rest of the table huddled around to admire the Superman symbol that was decidedly well-drawn considering John didn’t have an artistic bone in his body. Arthur also had to commend his little brother for how spot-on it looked too since he was drawing from memory. John loved superheroes, so he wasn’t all that surprised. Charles, on the other hand, simply looked touched. He turned his head from side-to-side, trying to soak it in from all angles. His smile was wide but it didn’t seem taut and exaggerated. He truly was happy with it.

“It’s very nice, John. Why Superman?”

“Because you swooped in and saved me like he would, if he were real…”

Arthur thought for a moment he saw Charles’ heart skip a beat at the compliment. Arthur was glad that John got along with someone else besides him and his friends. This is also the first person that John has ever reacted too this way, and Arthur really wished he knew what Charles was doing right. John definitely wasn’t this receptive to many people, even if they were the same age as his brother. Arthur sometimes wondered if it was his fault that John was like that, actually. He supposed that he did shelter the boy a lot when he was younger, but he was just a kid himself trying to raise a baby that was unlucky enough to be born into a family like theirs. Charles on the other hand, Charles had only known him for this week and even still the amount of time John spent in a room with him can be counted on fingers yet John thinks the world of him. Arthur was glad, he should be glad. He’s always liked Charles and he was glad that John was getting to know him too. It also wasn’t like John was wrong in his statement either, Charles did save him from Arthur knows what. He didn’t think that walking Copper alone could ever repay the teen for what he did. He didn’t know that by saving John, he also saved Arthur’s life as well.

“Oh that really was nothing…”

“Not to me it wasn’t!”

John was excited now, his body shot up, instead of sitting on his rear like Arthur told him many times to do, he was sitting on his knees. He gripped the marker tightly in his hand and Arthur could swear the boy’s eyes were going to pop clear out his head with how bulged they were. John was entirely serious about Charles being his savior, that night in the hospital was a lot for him, and from the amount of guilt he felt at first, Arthur was glad that at least now he was able to move past it and show his gratitude for Charles. Just before they went to sleep that night, Arthur wondered if the rest of his interactions with Charles were going to be nonexistent and even shortened because John would get too worked up at the sight of him. If he was being honest with himself, he didn’t want that. This was the first time in a very long time that he’d been able to get this close to his childhood friend and while he would never hold it against John, part of him would still feel bad about ending things on the note that they would’ve. This ice cream outing was good, even if it didn’t start off that way and sure he could’ve gone without seeing Albert like that, but sitting in the shop with all his friends and his brother, enjoying ice cream…

It felt like something Arthur hadn’t done in a very long time.

If it had been any other normal day for him, he would already be back at the house juggling at least three tasks in one. Cooking dinner, making sure John was doing his work and washing up before he ate, and keeping an ear and eye out for their pa all at the same time. It was tiring work and it always felt like he was walking around the house with weights tied down to his body. He hardly had any time for himself once John was all taken care of. Starting with the tumultuous way his week started off, he figured that this was his luck turning. This was the most relaxed he’s felt. John, however, didn’t feel the same. He was completely overcome by his feelings of what Arthur was starting to diagnose as hero worship for Charles.

“I thought for sure that I was going to end up in the ground, and it made me real sad to think that way. All for some stupid ball and because Sean ain’t never learned how to play kickball. I know it sounds like I’m fibbing but I really ain’t, I thought I was going to die and all I could think about is what would happen to Arthur if I got hurt real bad.”

“But you didn’t have to.”

John nodded furiously, in aggressive agreement with Charles’ words. Arthur was real grateful to him for being so patient with John, not many others were like that. Since John turned nine, he’d always be a little moody. He could go from being on top of the world, to a couch potato and Arthur always did his best to watch for when his mood changed like that. They couldn’t really afford trips to the doctor, let alone a therapist. Arthur didn’t care much what happened to himself, but his little brother on the other hand, was different. If it wasn’t his teachers, or his friends’ parents, some adults would pass him off as a difficult kid and he had his moments, but he truly wasn’t as hard a kid as some of the townspeople would believe. People acquainted with the two don’t really give John their full undivided attention like Arthur always did, but Charles, Charles was patient and kind with him. He could just dismiss John and invalidate his feelings, tell him that he’s blowing it too out of proportion and it was getting annoying. To be honest, even Dutch had problems communicating with John. Every time they’ve met it resulted in one of them being vaguely irritated with the other. It was only natural that Arthur was wary of leaving John alone with someone he didn’t know very well, especially during that stressful time after the accident. But when he showed up and saw the way Charles was careful with his words and attitude, and tried for who knows how long to make John comfortable, when he was the one lying in the hospital bed with a broken leg, it made his chest soften. He was glad to see that John didn’t let the sentiment go unappreciated.

He was a very nice boy, despite the times he isn’t.

“No I ain’t have to, but that’s only because you got hurt instead of me! Only superheroes do all that, and I watch a lot of superhero movies. Charles, I think you just like the best of them!”

Charles was touched. It was written all over his face. Arthur couldn’t help but smile at the way Charles’ face went slack, and then soft.

“I really didn’t do…”

“Charles, the boy is thanking you, thank him back!”

Sadie was waving her spoon angrily in his face, mocking anger. Arthur never seen someone look as bashful as he did in that moment, maybe even a little bit uncomfortable. Charles never cared too much for the spotlight; his light still beamed, despite it all, and people gravitated towards him still. He was the star athlete of their school but even then, Arthur could see that he didn’t like it. Didn’t enjoy all the special attention he was given. It always made him a little sad.

“John, he gets it, now let the poor man enjoy his ice cream.”

Arthur knew that John meant well but sometimes he got so into whatever he was in that he never realizes that maybe he’s tuckering them out. Sadie was still giving Charles the “spoon-wave” lecture. John turned to Arthur and then back at Charles before sinking back in the seat. His voice was softer and a sliver of regret crawled through Arthur as he saw the way his brother deflated.

“I’m sorry, Charles…”

John’s voice was lower because his head was down, focusing distractedly on the marker he was toying with. Arthur patted the boy’s head and then moved to rub his shoulder. Arthur made shy eyes with Charles.

“He don’t mean nothing by it he just…real thankful for what you’ve done.”

Charles looked somehow unhappier by this and Arthur wasn’t quite sure why for. He shook his head and he started smiling, but it looked more like an apologetic one. Sadie stopped her lecturing the moment she saw him nearly launch across the table. She “hmphed” and went to go throw her cup out.

“No, no John’s not doing anything wrong! It’s just…I’m…well…”

Charles looked like he had the word on the tip of his tongue, but for some reason just couldn’t get it out. Arthur was curious.

“I’m real touched by that, John.”

Arthur felt his hand move from the top of John’s head, right down to the bottom as his little brother slowly looked up.

“…I ain’t mean to make you upset.”

“You didn’t, you really didn’t, okay? It’s just…it’s not often I hear people say things like that to me.”

John looked thoroughly confused by that statement.

“What you mean by that, Charles?”

Yes, Charles, what _did_ he mean by that? Charles was almost always lavished in some sort of awe from the other students, even the ones that hated him had to admit that he was pretty awe-inspiring. He would be approached from time-to-time, with men and women alike asking him on casual dates, concerts, school events, hell the braver ones flat out would ask him back to their homes. He always declined. But he couldn’t deny that a majority of the student body absolutely adored him. 

“Thing is, I play a lot of sports at my school—”

“You play football?”

Charles, a bit thrown off by the questioned interruption, furrowed his brows and nodded.

“Yeah.”

John was pleased by this.

“I like football.”

Charles nodded and seemed like he completely lost his train of thought. Arthur chuckled and drummed his fingers on the top of his brother’s head.

“Let the man finish his story!” There was laughter in the words. John pouted, but let Charles continue.

“Y-yes, well,” he cleared his throat, “I play a lot of sports at my school and a lot of the students like me because of that.”

Whatever Charles was hinting at was lost on John.

“So?”

“So, it means that a lot of them only really like me because I play sports. They compliment me, but it’s not really for me, you know?”

It never occurred to Arthur that Charles felt that way. He always thought that the one thing Charles liked about being popular was how nice people were to him. Arthur would’ve given anything to switch spots with him when he was still attending. But Charles had a point, if he wasn’t such a good athlete, would most of the students even look his way? Arthur found the thought impossible and ridiculous to entertain. Charles was always the center of attention whenever he walked into a room, even when he wasn’t trying to be. At least, when they were friends he’d always felt that way.

“They only like you cause you play football.”

Charles chuckled. His laugh was warm, and his smile was delightful. His voice was working wonders in soothing John, the boy’s tension was nearly all gone. He nodded.

“I play lots of sports in that school but yeah, it’s still all the same. Yours might be the first genuine comment I’d heard in a long time.”

John scoffed.

“Well of course! I like you cause you’re you! A hero!”

“Amen to that!” Sadie chimed in sliding her way back into her chair, somehow up to speed on everything despite being gone for half of it.

Arthur laughed and nodded in agreement. He was a hero. And that’s why he was still unsure of what to draw on his cast. If he was going to be allowed to draw on it, it had to be perfect. But what of his could be considered good enough for Charles? Like clockwork, he saw the purple Sharpie being waved around in his peripheral. He looked down and saw John was handing it over to him.

“It’s your turn, Arthur!”

Charles smiled and Arthur could see the traces of eagerness that lingered on his lips. He exhaled and looked down at the shiny purple permanent marker.

That’s when he got it. He helped Charles prop his leg up for comfort, and started scribbling away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Classes have started again and I'm doing my junior seminar (think of it like a senior project planning class) and senior project (the execution of the planning) at the same time and on top of that I'm doing an internship to meet credit requirement so please bear with me! 
> 
> And thank you all for reading!


	23. Chapter 23

To be fair, he was winging it. Every single second after he took hold of the marker, he just hoped for a miracle. He was doodling something, slightly amazed with himself for having something in mind. It would’ve been nice if he knew what it was, but in the moment, he had to trust himself. Charles was looking down at him, his face totally giving away the quiet enthusiasm that he felt. Arthur could swear he can hear Charles’ heart beating, or was it his? The doodle had a shape, something that he can probably recognize if asked but really he hoped Charles wouldn’t go that far. He wasn’t Van Gogh by any means, just a kid who learned to draw because he was lonely.

“No peeping! You’ll ruin the surprise for yourself.”

Truth be told, Arthur was just folding under his gaze and he couldn’t let Charles see that.

“Yeah, Charles, stop looking!”

Sadie was eating another ice cream cone, she bonked him in the head with her new spoon, echoing Arthur’s words with more sternness and laughter.

“I looked for John’s!”

“Yeah but it was cause I let you look!” John chimed in happily. Charles guffawed and from what went on after that, he couldn’t see because he had his head down, just as excited as Charles was to see the finished work. It was an animal. It was a big one, and furry. Arthur was shocked at first but then none too surprised after it settled.

He was drawing a bison. A big, furry, purple bison. He scribbled away, his tongue peeking out from his mouth as he concentrated. It looked nice, it had to end nicely. He could feel John’s warm breath over his shoulder and he knew that his little brother was trying to have a peep as well.

“John you know I don’t like you breathing on me like that.”

“I want to see.”

“I’m almost done, I can’t concentrate if you hovering over my shoulder like that. Just give me another minute or two.”

John huffed, sending a large gust of heat on Arthur’s shoulder. When he was hit with the icy air-conditioned shop, he knew that John listened. But Arthur did suppose that he was taking a long time. He was tired, he was sure Sadie and John were and Charles had to be back to walk Copper soon. He kept everyone here longer than they needed to be and so he used that as fuel to finish the sketch. He was just detailing the fur and the eyes a little more. He moved his head and quickly placed his hands on the drawing so that he could unveil it properly. He looked at John and Sadie; when his eyes landed on Charles they stayed there. His eyes were brown and warm and Arthur didn’t really know where else to look.

“Are y’all ready?”

Sadie stopped bonking Charles on the head and the two nodded. Charles’ excitement was vibrating off him and Arthur couldn’t help but wonder how he still managed to look so cool despite that. Arthur hummed and then turned back to John.

“Drum roll, please!”

John’s favorite past-time was making loud noises so he was more than happy to give his big brother what he wanted. He heard the drumming on the table and when it stopped, he released his hands and held them in the air for flair.

“Ta-da!”

Charles looked down and his jaw dropped when he saw it. It made Arthur feel incredibly anxious.

“Well, do…do you like it?”

Arthur thought for a moment that Charles didn’t know why he drew it. Or maybe he was expecting something better and now he felt so very stupid for going out on a limb and drawing on his cast.

“Arthur…is this…”

Or maybe not. Maybe Charles did understand the importance of the very meaningless scribble. Arthur, kicking himself for not waiting for him to finish but being too eager to agree to what he thought he might want to say. It must’ve been exactly what he was thinking because then Charles’ mouth spread from ear-to-ear in a smile that he’d never really seen him wear. It suited him.

“I didn’t think you still remembered.”

“It was always the best part of my day, how could I forget it!”

Sadie waved her spoon around in the air as she gave a frustrated, “Can one of y’all tell me what you’re talking about? Got poor John and I looking like lost ducklings.”

Arthur figured since he was the one that drew it and rehashed it all, he should be the one to explain it. Besides, Charles seemed like he was at a loss for words anyway.

“When we was in kindergarten, we used to hunt bison.”

John was absolutely fascinated and appalled by the statement. He was sitting on his knees and his hands were firmly planted on the tabletop. He was leaning in to be sure he heard Arthur correctly.

“Wow, kindergarten sounds awesome!”

“No, no, I don’t mean like that. I meant that we would take the stuffed animals from out the toy bin and place them all around the room and we would spend our play time just looking for them.”

Sadie took a generous lick of her ice cream and gave the two of them a funny look.

“Why’d you call them bison then? And while we at it, why did y’all find that fun?!”

Arthur let out a nervous chuckle and shrugged.

“I’m…sure that Charles and I found it fun for different reasons.”

Charles shrugged in reciprocation, “Maybe. Maybe not.”

Arthur waved a dismissive hand in the air and replied, “Well then I guess we’ll never know.”

They made eye contact again and for some reason, Arthur couldn’t help but smile at him. Charles’ smile was much softer now, and his eyes were honed in right on Arthur’s and he couldn’t place it but the sounds around them seemed like they were slowly fading away.

That was until Sadie cleared her throat.

“Why did y’all call it bison! I could die from the suspense!”

Charles answered instead. Which Arthur was glad for because he didn’t really know the answer to that himself. Charles was the one that  came up with the game idea, he just went along with it.

“I saw a documentary on them the night I came up with the game. I liked the way they looked and I thought they were cool. Arthur seemed to think so too when I showed him in one of the school’s books.”

“And so we just…hunted for bison every week.”

Sadie licked the last remaining sprinkle off her cone. When she swallowed, she said, “Y’all really are made for each other…”

This made both their eyes bulge and John keeled over from laughter alone. Arthur turned a hilarious shade of red and he coughed a few times to see if that would force some words out of his mouth. He just moved to get up and helped John out of his seat.

“You know what? I think we all done with ice cream now…why don’t we just mosey on out of here now?”

Charles nodded all too quickly and started moving for his crutches.

“I think you’re right, Arthur.”

“Good, I think so too, come on John. We best be getting back to pa anyway…”

John rolled his eyes but quietly looped his hand around Arthur’s. Sadie took one last seated lick of her ice cream before getting up herself, collecting her napkins and her trusty spoon. She used it to scoop ice cream after already giving it a lick. Arthur thought it was strange but then he really wasn’t one to judge.

“I should be getting back to my Jakey anyway. He probably trying to cook us up some dinner but I’m worried he’ll kill us both with some new seasoning he found or another.”

Arthur chuckled. The only thing he could think about after was that Dutch never cooked for him. He shook the thought away very quickly, telling himself that it was because Dutch was in a dorm and not an apartment. Speaking of cooking, it was dinner time and he should get John fed. When he gave the table a once-over and saw it clean, he gave John’s hand a tug and started heading for the exit, Sadie and Charles following closely behind them.


	24. Chapter 24

The car ride back was pleasant enough. They were all tired and ready to get in their respective beds. John had his head resting on the passenger-side door as he dozed. Arthur could see how determined he was to stay awake. Sadie was already asleep, and resting her head on Charles’ shoulder. He didn’t seem to mind that much. Arthur managed to sneak a peek over at him and saw that he had his elbow on the door’s armrest. His head was tucked into his hand and he was staring at the cast. John really outdid himself on that Superman symbol. When the road looked safe enough, he stole a glance at his brother and then went right back to the road. H wondered how long John had been waiting to do that. He didn’t draw much and when he did, he didn’t usually already know what he was going to doodle. Even though it wasn’t like Arthur was any better at that. He only really sketches when he sees something truly beautiful and memorable.

Arthur was glad, though, that Charles remembered too.

“Charles, could you tap Sadie? We here.”

Before Sadie could pass out indefinitely, Arthur managed to find out what her address was. She was about twenty minutes from him and Charles. She was closer to their job than she was them really, just about six blocks from her house was the McDonald’s. It explained why she didn’t really need a car to get there, but those blocks were long, and she did make mention that she sometimes just took the bus. Her house was pretty nice, considering that her and Jake weren’t rich. It was an apartment building, painted burgundy. It was about three stories high.

“Well goddamn, Arthur! How fast do you drive?”

He laughed.

“The real question is, Sadie, how long you been asleep?”

She sucked her teeth and moved to unbuckle her belt.

“I ain’t drool on you, did I?”

Charles shook his head while patting around his left shoulder. She looked relieved to hear it and then opened the door.

“You coming into work tomorrow?”

Arthur nodded.

“Well then I’ll see you then! Bye y’all!”

The three boys returned her farewell and soon she was gone, walking tiredly to the door of her building. Arthur pulled off when he saw that she got inside safely. When they were en route, Charles leant forward and grabbed John’s arm softly, jolting the little boy from whatever sleep he was about to find.

“Thank you for inviting me out for ice cream, John. And for drawing on my cast too.”

John beamed.

“You’re welcome! See, this remind me of the time Sean broke his arm one time—he always breaking his bones—so when he came back from the doctor, he showed us all his cast. It was green, it looked like snot, but Sean loves the color green so wasn’t much me and Lenny could do about it.”

Arthur rolled his eyes, he found it both funny and wonderful that Charles was so patient with John’s rambling.

“John, I reckon Charles want to hear the point.”

Arthur saw that John was too far gone into the story now to care about whatever point he wanted to make to begin with. He just let him continue.

“Okay! So anyway, we kept asking him if it hurt when he broke his arm and he said he couldn’t feel nothing, but then one of our classmates saw him when he did it and said Sean was crying and fussing up a storm something awful. We still ain’t know if Sean really did cry or not, but he started crying in the middle of play-time and so me and Lenny was trying to find a way to make him stop. So then Miss Grimshaw came over and told us to draw something on his cast so he could stop being sad. Me and Lenny ain’t no artists and we were thinking real hard on what to draw him so we tried to draw him this guy from a videogame he like but then we couldn’t cause…none of the markers worked. So he kept crying and Lenny and I just went on and played so he could calm down some.”

Arthur did a double take at his little brother, and then wondered what Charles thought about the story.

“What the hell kind of story is that, John?”

“You remember I told you about when it happened, Arthur!”

“I don’t think I do.”

“Well it ain’t my fault you wasn’t listening then.”

Charles cleared his throat and stopped the brothers’ squabble just before it began.

“And…why did that story remind you of today?”

“Cause that was the first time I ever drew on someone’s cast!”

Arthur heard Charles’ soft “oh” in the back and John decided that was enough of that. He turned back to the road, a bit more energetic now that he got some validation that he was no doubt waiting to receive from him all day.

“What are you doing tomorrow, Charles?”

Arthur looked up in the rearview to get a glimpse of the teen’s face in the reflection. Charles hummed at the thought of his plans for tomorrow. He shrugged.

“Sitting around getting high probably. Or…maybe sleeping?”

“You ain’t been to school cause of your leg, right?”

Charles nodded.

“…Charles anyone visit you from school yet? Bring you the work or something.”

“Last person I saw before the accident was Javier. It’s only been a few days though since it all happened so I’m not gonna cry about it yet. I do get kind of worried about my grades though…”

Charles’ hands clasped together and he twiddled his thumbs as he shook his head.

“It’s not a big deal.”

Arthur begged to differ.

“Tell you what, I can…I can run down to the school to go get it for you.”

His passenger looked shocked to hear that.

“You wouldn’t.”

“Charles Smith, I absolutely would. We can go together even. I’d think it might be good for folks to see you still alive. The most popular boy in school couldn’t have possibly been able to go missing without raising some sort of hell in Blackwater High School.”

He looked back again a few more times to see if Charles might’ve laughed or even cracked a smile at the sentiment. He looked more flustered than anything and sank back into the seat.

“I’m not popular.”

“Oh please, I used to watch folks fight to be next to you in lunch lines and to sit with you at the tables. People don’t even go a party if you ain’t there.”

Arthur only knew this because he was just like the rest of them. He’d wanted to know what Charles was doing at all times too, but he’d always felt creepy and weird about it. Arthur never actually worked up the courage to sit at his table like the other students did, but he still tried to find ways to have Charles close to him. He couldn’t possibly tell Charles that. Thankfully he didn’t have to because they pulled up in their neighborhood before the conversation could go any further.

“We’re here…”

John sounded the exact opposite one would when seeing their home after a long day. Just like everyday too, Arthur’s eyes honed in on their father’s car in the drive way. He sighed and moved to unbuckle John out of his seat.

“It looks like it, partner.”

And just like that evening when Charles watched his father get thrown into their house by those policemen, Arthur could feel his eyes bearing into the two of them. Arthur worried about his black-eye and how he was going to cover it up at the dinner tomorrow. He worried that Charles could see it right now, while his glasses slipped down to the bridge of his nose when he unbuckled John. He couldn’t think about that.

“Let’s help Charles get back in his house. Then, I gotta get back and pick my outfit for tomorrow.”

John groaned obnoxiously and crossed his arms.

“Ew! You got a date with _Dutch_!”

Arthur wasn’t sure what John meant by that emphasis on his boyfriend’s name, but he didn’t like it.

“Yes I do! It’s our two year anniversary and he taking me to a fancy restaurant so I have to look the part, don’t I?”

“So where am I supposed to go after school?”

“You don’t want to be with Sean and Lenny?”

Arthur really didn’t understand why John was picking this fight with him right here and in front of Charles of all people, but there wasn’t much he could do about it at this point.

“Sean’s grounded for pantsing Lenny, and Lenny don’t want to talk him right now.”

The oldest brother sighed loudly. Realizing that now there was no one to watch John. He could ask Hosea, but he wasn’t sure how well John would react to that. It wouldn’t be fair to ask Sadie so last minute, especially since John’s never met Jake (and neither did he, for that matter). He under no circumstances leave him alone with their pa. Not even for Dutch.

“He can stay with me.”

Arthur turned his head and saw Charles with a sheepish smile on his face.

“I don’t have anywhere to be, and if anything he can just run home when he’s tired of me.”

“Charles…are you sure? Don’t let him fool you, he’s a devil.”

“I am not!”

Charles smiled and shook his head. Arthur mulled this over in his mind. Charles would be the next best choice, but he didn’t want him to feel obligated. He would pay him if he wanted that.

“It’s definitely okay, Arthur. Drop him off at my house tomorrow.”

Arthur watched as Charles started getting out of the car and moved to help him, but he was stopped.

“It’s fine, I don’t need any help. You gotta get back and…get prepared for your big day tomorrow, don’t let me keep you.”

 Arthur suddenly felt like an asshole for making that much of a fuss about it with John before. Charles sounded sad.

“What about Copper?”

“I can handle him tonight, don’t worry.”

“Charles…you can’t.”

“I haven’t walked him in a while, I’m worried you took my place as favorite walker.”

Arthur smiled but he still felt guilty. Charles was able to get himself out just fine and before he closed the door he waved.

“Goodnight guys, and see you tomorrow, John!”

“Night Charles!”

He closed the door and Arthur waited until he saw him enter the house. Now all that’s left is just the two of them.


	25. Chapter 25

After letting Charles go, the two brothers managed to muster the strength to enter their own house and once the door was closed, Arthur could immediately feel that tension that he thought he left behind, creep into him again. He looked down and saw John standing as close to him as possible. Their father was in the dining room. The television in the living room was playing but he wasn’t parked in his usual armchair. Growing up with the man, Arthur knew that he was only ever in the living room, his own room, the dining room, and the bathroom when he managed to come home. He’d been coming back consecutively for a few days. Since he was tossed on their doorstep by the police. Arthur never knew his father to be a man to ever feel shame for what he did. If he was old enough to be in a bar, he would probably shudder to hear all the things Lyle got up to whenever he showed up. He didn’t even understand why his dad went to bars when he had enough liquor in their home to start his own small business. If Arthur didn’t have a job, there wouldn’t be anything else to drink besides vodka, whiskey, and beer. He buys John his favorite juices when he could, sometimes their father helps himself to it for mixer.

Why was he even in the dining room? It wasn’t like he made dinner, which would be nice for a change. The boys were parked in front of the door still, Arthur was trying to assess the situation, John just refused to be anywhere his big brother wasn’t when they were around Lyle. Arthur tapped John on his shoulder.

“Go on and take your bag off. Get comfortable.”

John was too distracted to say anything back. So he did as he was told. Arthur started moving towards the dining room first.

“Arthur? Arthur is that you, boy?”

Arthur died inside, hearing his name being called by that voice. If he wasn’t raised by this man, and knew who he truly was, that tone of voice could almost be mistaken for paternal concern. Arthur used to believe that’s what it was, before John was born. That whenever Lyle called for him, he was actually concerned for his son, he wanted to see him to make sure that he was okay, that he any discomfort he might’ve had could be eased by him because that’s what fathers were supposed to do. But then Arthur would end up icing his bruises at the end of the night.

“Arthur! Speak up boy!”

“I-I’m here, sir!”

And Arthur knew that he could’ve just taken John and went upstairs so that they would be left alone. He knew which floorboards creaked and which ones didn’t. Lyle would probably come for him later and he was perfectly fine like that. But then he heard that voice and all he could think was that in the moment he needed to obey so that he and John would be okay.

“Get in here then! You can’t hear when I call for you?”

Arthur steadied John and made him wait in the living room while he went to tend to their old man. He was met with the pathetic sight of his dad sitting alone at a table for four, propped up with a bottle of Jack in his hand and a shot glass, recently emptied. Lyle’s face was scrunched, as the burn of the drink made its way through his throat.

“Where’s your little brother. Did you fuck off and leave him somewhere again?”

And there it was. Arthur could hear the rising annoyance in his voice. Annoyance that would very soon give way to anger if he didn’t move to save his ass in that moment.

“John’s here. He in the living room.”

Arthur turned his head and called his little brother just loud enough that he would be heard and not make John any more uncomfortable and anxious more than he already was. He heard soft footsteps on the wood floor and then the sight of the boy with his head down appeared in front of Arthur and Lyle. Their father smiled widely.

“John! Come here my boy!”

And Arthur apologized a million times over for placing his little brother in this predicament. He shuffled over to his father and was wrapped tightly into a hug that Arthur himself hadn’t even received himself in years. He wondered if he was better off for it. John never looked too pleased after the ordeal was over and he could always see the discomfort radiating off his body. John was immediately back at his side and while Arthur knew that John hated being anywhere near Lyle, but he really didn’t want their father’s mood to go lower than this. If Lyle could sense that his sons didn’t want to be around him then their night would definitely end in a way that neither of them wanted. Arthur was already sporting a black eye from earlier in the week and really didn’t want to look anything less than the closest he could get to perfect for his dinner date with his boyfriend. Lyle took another shot and then smiled at the two of them.

“Have you eaten?”

Arthur shook his head, knowing full well that John wasn’t going to answer him if he wasn’t explicitly asked to.

“You’ve been out all this time and you haven’t fed your little brother? What were you doing?”

“I just took him out for ice cream is all.”

“Ice cream?”

Arthur nodded, still surprised that he was somehow able to keep conversation with his father for so long. He knew that there was a limit to how much Lyle could take, though. Of pretending to be the parent that he was supposed to be for eighteen years. Of acting like he really gave a shit about what his sons were doing when he wasn’t around.

“We went out to the mall after I got John from school. That’s all, sir, I promise.”

“I see…” Lyle scratched at that blond scruff he called a beard and it made Arthur nervous. Lyle was contemplating something, Arthur wasn’t sure if he wanted to find out, or if it was even going to be his choice in the matter.

“I—Is there something wrong, pa?”

Arthur’s voice went light, worried that if he spoke to him normally it could be taken as a sign of disobedience, a challenge to his dominance. He stepped on a mine the moment he walked into the house and now if he took his foot off, the world would come down with him.

“I don’t know, boy. Why would anything be wrong?”

Arthur was about ready to sigh in relief but then his father continued, his voice too calm for the words he spoke.

“If it were as you said; you only took your little brother out for a treat. You want me to be mad with you?”

He was panicking and doing everything in his power not to betray that to both John and Lyle. He held his little brother close.

“No.”

“Ah ah, I think you’re playing me for a bit of a fool though, boy. Who did you just come from dropping off?”

It didn’t even occur to Arthur that he was being watched from the kitchen window, but the thought seemed small in comparison to what could happen now. He’d just been caught lying. Well, not lying, but omitting the truth. A lie was a lie to Lyle Morgan; a huge deal. Arthur really just wanted to walk away, but something in him couldn’t do that without being ordered to by his dad. Whenever he stood in his presence, all sense of autonomy went out the window and he considered himself little more than a robot that was to be wound up by its owner.

“Cat got your tongue now, is it?”

“I were with Charles. You remember right?”

“The boy who needs help ‘walking his dog’?”

Arthur exhaled, feeling his anxiety shift more into frustration at the barbed comment.

“No, pa, I already told you. I ain’t…I ain’t doing nothing like that with him. He hurt and need help. It’s just like I told you the last time I swear.”

“So how come you didn’t tell me he went with y’all the first time I asked if you ain’t doing nothing with him? What, you two fight on the way back and now he’s looking for a new walker?”

The innuendo nearly murdered Arthur. Every time his father laid emphasis on the words “dog” and “walking” he wanted to scream and protest that he had a boyfriend who he loved dearly. He refused to be label as anything but faithful. He _was_ faithful, dammit. And it hurt that his own father couldn’t even believe anything otherwise. What kind of parent believes that talk of the town over their own child? A parent that Arthur was deserving of, according to the powers that be. John had his arms wrapped around Arthur’s waist and was begging his brother telepathically to leave. But he couldn’t. He just couldn’t.

“We took him out with us, on account that he don’t get out much because of his leg.”

“And if you ain’t fucking this boy, what business of that is yours?”

Arthur didn’t know how to describe empathy to a man utterly devoid of it. He shrugged and acted more like he didn’t have anything to say. He was just tired of trying to convince his father otherwise. Lyle Morgan did not like that. He sneered at him, it was supposed to be a smile but his dad didn’t know how to flash it at anything that wasn’t booze. It unnerved Arthur deeply, and he could feel his grip on his brother’s shoulder tightening. His father’s face went straight and he took a deep inhale.

“You just being helpful, right? That’s what you want to say, don’t you?”

Arthur nodded carefully.

“He helped John. That’s all.”

“…Dinner. I want to have dinner. Arthur, why don’t you get in that kitchen and cook something? Do something useful in this house for once.”

“He always cook for me.”

John’s voice was soft, but matter-of-fact. Lyle stared at John dead in the eyes, Arthur tapped his shoulder and whispered down at him, “That’s all, John.”

And John looked like he so badly wanted to scream. But he was a good boy and he mostly listened to what his little brother had to say. Lyle’s lip twitched at the outburst but he pardoned it. He pulled the chair next to him back.

“Sit with your old man, son.”

And it killed Arthur inside to know this but his father wasn’t talking to him. John shook his head but when Lyle picked the chair up and slammed its back legs to the floor, the little boy winced and in almost no time was sitting in the chair. Arthur spun on his heel and went to the kitchen to cook the quickest meal he possibly could. Fried some chicken cutlets. His dad liked to say that he only ate greasy food when he was drunk. He made mac and cheese for John on the side. When he brought the food out on plates to be served, Lyle snatched them from his hand and Arthur hastily took his seat across from the two of them. He waited until John and his father were served first before taking his own helping. He was cautious of how much he was spooning at a time because during the odd moments where they’re all eating dinner together, if he so dared to take what his dad deemed a generous portion, he would be forced to sit through comment after comment about his weight. Lyle was being nice today, it seemed. He started eating. The table was silent, the only sound was the silverware clinking against the dishes. Arthur couldn’t help but steal glances over at his little brother and saw the way his hand tremored whenever he rose the fork to his mouth.

“John did a nice thing today.”

Their father looked as disinterested as possible. His eyes never broke its gaze from his plate. Arthur smiled over at John.

“What’d he do?”

“He drew on Charles’ cast.”

John looked proud of himself, all of which was being ignored by Lyle. He took a forkful of chicken cutlet and shoved it into his mouth.

“Cast?”

“Charles broke his leg.”

Another dreadful pause inbetween the conversation.

“Sounds like he’s an idiot.”

John dropped his fork, making a loud and grating noise when it collided with the plate. Without even thinking, Lyle gave him a prompt slap to the back of the head and it took everything in Artuhr’s power not to do something right then and there.

“Keep the bloody fork in your hand, genius!”

No one said anything after that. Arthur shoved heaps of the gooey mac and cheese into his mouth to keep himself from putting John at any more risk. John looked sad, and Arthur’s heart broke into a million little pieces in the quiet of his chest. John picked at his food and whenever he thought that Lyle might see, he started eating more. He told John to fetch him a cup from the cabinet. He was tired of having to swig from the bottle. What a poor unfortunate soul he was. John’s chair scooted just enough for him to get down without difficulty and then he disappeared into the kitchen, the sound of the step ladder was being moved and then glassware.

“What are you planning, boy?”

Lyle was almost whispering it to Arthur across the table. Arthur swallowed his food.

“What you mean?”

“You of age, you ain’t went off and got yourself a…friend yet, boy?”

“Friend?”

Lyle’s face went dangerous, and the sound of the cabinet closing was heard. Whatever Lyle was trying to get out of him wasn’t happening fast enough.

“You dating anyone?”

Arthur sputtered and nearly choked on the fork was that was still in his mouth. He looked at his dad like he might as well gone ahead and sprouted eight heads. John came back into the room with the cleanest glass he could find and placed it down in front of the bottle of Jack. Without so much as breaking eye contact from his oldest son, he poured a generous amount of the liquor and took a healthy swig from it. You would think he was drinking a cup of tea or water. But Arthur had to answer the question, didn’t he?

“N-no…”

“No, what?”

“No, sir…”

Lyle wiped at his mouth and moved in for another helping of the drink.

“You ain’t lying to me, boy?”

Arthur nearly died on the spot at the question. He was backed into a corner now and all he had was mac and cheese to help him through it. John was confused, but he was hungrier and almost finished with his food so he focused on that instead.

“I’d never, pa.”

Arthur watched the way Lyle grilled him, looked him up and down and then turned his attention back to his own food. He took a bit of the chicken cutlet.

“…cooks this _shit_ and calls it food…”

Arthur chose to ignore that.

\-----

He let John wash up first, and then he had a shower himself. He joined John in his room, just like every night. His little brother had just finished tucking in his stuffed animal, a tradition he’s held since he was much smaller. Arthur grabbed _The Wizard of Oz_ off the nightstand and then flipped it open. He was a little disappointed at how little they got through since the last time they read. That seemed like forever ago.

“We ain’t read this in a minute.”

“Cause Charles got hurt.”

Arthur glanced down at the book and then back up at his brother.

“That weren’t really the reason.”

John yawned and shrugged.

“Just read it!”

Arthur rolled his eyes and opened the page where he doggy-eared it. Reading the first few sentences to get a clear memory on what’s happened from before.

“You not even going to make past the first page.”

“We ain’t going to find out if you keep running your trap!”

“If I gotta read it then I’m afraid I have to keep my trap open.”

John groaned loudly and threw his blankets back. He pushed Arthur’s arms open and made way for himself on his brother’s lap. He turned around sharply, elbowing Arthur in his chest, earning a sharp hiss. When he was nice and situated, he opened the book back again and didn’t speak. Arthur looked down at him, upset before realizing that John just truly didn’t care. He sighed and tried to find his place again; then he started reading to John in a low voice just loud enough for the words he was staring at. The door was closed for the rest of the night, it would be just the two of them.


	26. Chapter 26

John didn’t last much longer than five pages. A new record for him. Arthur sighed and closed the book, placing it on the night stand soundlessly. He made short work of scooping John up and putting him on his bed. He pulled the covers up from under him, and just until they reached his neck. Arthur laid the finishing touches on his tucking in by giving his little brother a kiss to the top of his head.

“You need me to sleep with you tonight?”

John was still half-awake. He nodded.

“Pa was scary tonight.”

Arthur exhaled loudly. This was the first time since the dinner John had even mentioned it. He was quiet the entire time they ate. He even washed his own dish and fixed himself a bath faster than Arthur could clean the kitchen. Pa was scary tonight.

“I know. Can I talk to my boyfriend really quick?”

John looked down, he was twiddling with the fur of his stuffed animal.

“You already going to see him tomorrow, why you have to call him?”

Arthur just gave gentle strokes through his hair and smiled.

“It’s just like…well…you know how I always call you, even when I know I’m about to see you later on in the day?”

John looked at him carefully. Arthur didn’t relent though, he knew that John was just being difficult. John tended to act this way if he was upset. Finally, the little boy’s head nodded. Arthur hummed and nodded in reciprocation.

“Well it’s like that for me and Dutch. When you love someone, you just want to make sure they okay. I love you and I like talking with you, John. I love Dutch, and I like talking with him too. And with him being in college now, it’s real hard to get in touch with him. It makes him sad.”

John looked like he was buying anything Arthur was trying to sell him. His dark brows were deepening with brimming anger. Arthur knew in his heart that anything even remotely related to Dutch soured something in John’s heart. In the beginning, when Dutch and Arthur first started dating, Arthur decided to have the man who would be his boyfriend meet the most important boy in his life. He was glad that at that time he didn’t reveal to John that he was with Dutch romantically because he shudders to think how much worse it could’ve turned out. Dutch never really minded, Arthur decided. The first time went bad, and when they talked about it, Dutch seemed disappointed but not nearly as disheartened as Arthur was. They’d talked about it again and again, Arthur bringing up maybe a day trip out. John always wanted to go to Magnifico’s carnival, and the time it would show up in town again was coming up. Dutch didn’t seem to keen on the idea.

“How come you always gotta call him but he don’t got to call you?”

“It’s just like I said. He’s busy.”

“You’re busy too, ain’t you?”

Arthur quickly decided that he didn’t want to have this argument right before he went to bed. John was being a brat and that’s all there was to it. They had a difficult night, and they both handled it in different ways. Arthur kissed John on the head for a final time and stood up. Already whipping his phone out of his pocket.

“I’ll be right back, okay?”

“Don’t turn off the light!”

Arthur was already stepping outside of the room.

“I won’t!” Arthur’s voice was nothing more than a raised whisper. John settled back into the covers, leaving his big brother to go into his room. While he was making the transition, he heard Lyle’s loud snoring from down the stairs with the sounds from the television in close competition. He closed his door and slowly started to type on his keyboard.

_You awake?_

He put his phone down and tucked his hands into the pit of his arms. His phone vibrated and he was almost surprised at how quickly Dutch responded to him. He must have been in a good mood.

_For you, of course._

Arthur always forgot how much he missed Dutch until he read a message from him or heard his voice. He honestly couldn’t wait until tomorrow. It was only hours away but it felt more like an eternity away. His phone went off again.

 _Call me._ Followed by the kissy faced emoji. Arthur pressed the call button. He heard the phone ring once and then the sound of ruffling on Dutch’s end.

“Hi, Dutch.”

“What are you doing up so late? You know you got a big day coming up tomorrow.”

“I been looking forward to it all week. Reckon I can hardly sleep just thinking about it.”

Dutch laughed and Arthur’s cheeks tinged red. He grinned silently to himself.

“I don’t think you’re ever this excited for our regular dates, Arthur.”

“Well consider all the times we eat when we’re together. At a five-star restaurant too!”

“I’m confused. Are you more happy about the food or me?”

Arthur put his finger on his chin and looked up in mock contemplation. When he was faced with moments like this in their conversations, Arthur always wondered what would happen if he were to make a joke. Try to get a rise out his boyfriend instead of appealing to exactly what he wanted. If he sat there and told Dutch that he was more eager about the food than the actual reason why, how mad would that make him?

“Of course it’s you! You think some fancy hundred dollar steak is going to make me love you any less?”

Tonight, however, would not be that night. Arthur so badly needed something to go right in his life at the moment. Dutch being mad at him was the one thing he could not tolerate. For now, he’d play his cards right.

“You ever had filet mignon, Arthur?”

Arthur’s face went slack for just a moment before he bashfully shook his head, almost like Dutch was sitting in the room instead of nearly an hour away. He would find Arthur an absolute sight if he knew what he was doing.

“No, I never ate nothing that fancy.”

“I know, I was hoping to be surprised, but dating you, Arthur, that don’t really happen.”

Arthur’s brows furrowed.

“I ain’t too sure if that’s a compliment or not.”

“It can be whatever you need it to be, my dear.”

“Well then ain’t you just the kindest?” Arthur’s tone bordered dangerously between sincere and mocking. Dutch laughed, chuffed with the rebuttal and once again made proud by his boyfriend who occasionally knew when to bark back. Whether or not his bark was worse than his bite didn’t matter to Dutch. Arthur wasn’t under any falsities and knew that his intellect held no candle to his college-aged lover. But it was nice that Dutch sometimes let him believe that.

“Lord I miss you…so much.”

It caught Arthur off-guard to hear the dominant baritone sound so unexpectedly soft and earnest, if Arthur had to place it. It made him sad.

“You about to see me tomorrow!”

“I ain’t used to having you this far for this long. It didn’t use to be like this. You remember right?”

Arthur snorted and rolled his eyes. Dutch wasn’t much older than him, yet he was doing real well at sounding like he was at least thirty years his senior. What exactly was going through his head to make him so sappy? Arthur loved it, but it was so uncharacteristic. If Hosea was in the room, he was either asleep or quietly laughing his head off while he listened to Dutch damn near pour his heart out.

“Yeah, Dutch. I remember. I was over with you near every day.”

“If I knew it were like this, don’t think I’d stay in college this long.”

“Please, you ain’t about to quit college for me.”

There was a long silence. There was a faint static heard through the line and Arthur could only distinguish it as Dutch’s breathing. Maybe his moustache was longer than he’d last seen and that was scraping against the receiver. If they had time tomorrow, he had a mind to ask Dutch if he wanted help trimming it.

“Arthur, you’d been with me…you been with me a real long time. I wasn’t barely three years done here when you came waltzing into my life. You know the first week we’d been apart, I ain’t realize how lonesome I got.”

Arthur was quieter now, preferring but also understanding Dutch’s penchant for talking till hell froze over.

“You got busy.”

“Exactly my point. And I suffer for it every day, I think.”

“I still call you.”

Dutch groaned.

“And what good will that do me? I can’t get by on just a voice and the thought of you, my dear boy! I am a physical man and I would like to have my physical boyfriend if you are so inclined to agree.”

Arthur sighed and pinched his mouth up like he’d just been given sour fruit. Dutch’s words were tart and heavy in his head and it seeped down to the one part that had longed for his partner the most.

“Don’t you miss it, Arthur?”

“Miss what?”

Arthur looked at the clock on his wall. It was getting close to the time he was supposed to be in bed and he didn’t even shower yet. John was going to start getting worried and antsy if he didn’t turn up in the bed soon and Dutch was just about ready to go to bed, he’d feel guilty if he robbed the already stressed-out youth of more time.

“Being together?”

Arthur’s jaw went slack and he stared off into the wall like the answer to the question might have been written on there.

“…We’re already together, Dutch.”

His eyes were glazing over with tears and he wasn’t sure why. Dutch wasn’t trying to be hurtful, but there was still some part of it that made Arthur’s chest sting. It seemed his eyes felt the same way too.

“I don’t mean like that. I mean, together together. Like I can roll over and feel you in the bed with me every night. Don’t you miss that?”

Arthur swallowed hard. The lump in his throat thickened on the way down.

“Sure I do, Dutch.”

“Oh ain’t that music to my ears.”

Arthur laughed. It was watery. Maybe Dutch couldn’t hear it so well on the other end.

“Just you wait, my dear boy, until tomorrow. I have planned for us, the perfect date that the Devil himself couldn’t even ruin it! I’d been sitting on this reservation for months and now, lying here in my bed with Hosea’s snores filling up the room, chatting with you, is giving me the confidence to realize that we’re going to have a great night. I got another surprise waiting for you too.”

“What’s the surprise?”

“Ah ah ah! You gotta exercise patience just like the rest of us. Just know, when we get to the restaurant, you will never forget the night we had. Do you trust me?”

It wasn’t like Arthur had much choice.

“Sure, I trust you, hon.”

“Perfect. Then I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Sure.”

Arthur heard the sound of the phone line being disconnected and he pocketed his phone. He curled up into himself for a moment, taking in the scent of his bed, his clothes, the air around him. He’d wanted warmth, and peace, no matter how brief. When he was done, he slowly unfurled and then made his way to his drawers to prepare himself for a shower.

When his clothes were set out, he got his phone out and started typing a message.

_Is Copper okay?_

Charles responded almost instantly, Arthur never seen anything like it.

_Yea, he’s fine. How are you, though?_

_Got me and John home in one piece. Feeling pretty good._

This time Charles didn’t get back to him for a few minutes. Arthur immediately opened the chat to see what he sent.

_Awesome! Tell John that I need a list of his favorite movies, snacks, and food for tomorrow : )_

Arthur was already beginning to type that he didn’t need to go that far for him, but then he stopped. It wasn’t about him and his pride. He was going out to be fancy with Dutch, John deserved to have a whole night marathoning the MCU while he stuffed his face with pizza. John deserved more than Arthur could give him.

He should hurry and get to bed.

\------

The day had gone by uneventfully. Arthur forgot what it felt like to actually look forward to something that wasn’t just picking John up. He dropped John off without a hitch. Their father had a bit of a late start, but he was able to shake off his hangover once again to go to work. Arthur wondered if he would die at work since he was there so much. He always chastised himself for thinking something so dark.

He went to work and even Sadie could feel the anticipation wafting on him, staining her clothes and her body with its obviousness. She didn’t ask much about it though, she just asked if Dutch was coming to pick him up and what time he might get back to John. Arthur told her about the situation with Charles and she mentioned stopping off to see them after work. She was promptly reminded that they couldn’t smoke with John in the house.

Then he went and took Charles to get the school work. It was painful, to be back there. Inside the school and being forced to find his way through the swaths of students that reminded him of the one he used to be. He could tell the freshmen apart from the seniors definitely. He saw most everyone, Tilly, Mary-Beth, Karen. They hugged him and Mary-Beth cried when she saw him again. It was overwhelming at first, to be missed, loved, and then doted upon all the in the same breath. He told them that he really did miss their company, and that he would love to hang out with them all again sometime. He didn’t fail to notice their sneaky grins when they saw that he was accompanying Charles. A lot of the students made a show of seeing the pair together. They came during transition time and so most of their classmates gaped while passing them in the hallways. He saw those egghead boys, they laughed. He saw Javier having a chat with Bill Williamson, an army brat whose dreams of joining the military kind of make up for his apparent lack of brains. At least, that’s what Arthur’s heard about him. They had history together. Bill would always get mad about something or other, and even madder when a student just called him some version of “stupid”.

Javier smiled when he saw Charles hobbling over towards him. It was a grin that Arthur had never seen on the usually cool-faced teen. He rushed over, cutting Bill of mid-sentence and hugged Charles so hard that he nearly fell over. Bill tried his best not to look offended, and he awkwardly found his way back into conversation. Javier asked Charles about what happened and why he never told him. He was concerned, and Arthur appreciated that about him. Charles glossed over everything carefully, sparing Arthur and Javier both the bit about him being in the hospital with John, which the big brother was thankful for. Bill cleared his throat and Javier didn’t pay much mind to it. Javier ended the conversation by telling him that he was going to come to his house one of these days and smoke him out. Arthur was glad that all of their friends were mindful of their time. They got to the teachers, collected the work and Arthur was happy that it was all over.

When they got back in the car, Charles asked him how that felt.

“I don’t know. How did you feel? You a star athlete and all and I ain’t no one.”

Charles chuckled and patted the stack of papers and books he had.

“Would Karen, Tilly, and Mary-Beth think you’re no one? Mary-Beth even cried when she saw you.”

“Right but that’s just three people. That ain’t like knowing the whole school. Javier was downright ready to run you over just to hug you.”

“Javier’s my best friend.”

Arthur’s heart broke a little bit to hear that. He thought he was Charles’ best friend, but it was so long ago, how could he fault Charles for not feeling the same way? He barely spoke a word to him before the accident; he can’t expect someone’s heart to stay the same for so many years. Everyone else isn’t like him.

“He’s been there with me since we started high school.”

Arthur wasn’t, and that was the difference. He didn’t really want to entertain the conversation anymore, so he turned the radio up just a little bit and hoped Charles got the hint. Thankfully, they were both naturally quiet people. They got John and the energy in the car started to pick back up, what with the boy over the moon about being able to watch, not only his favorite movies, but eat his favorite food? It was almost like he downed twenty packets of sugar before getting in the car. He brandished a list written hastily on a sheet of paper with a grin attached to his face.

“These is all my most favorite movies. Sean told me it’d be even better if  I wrote what snacks go with what!”

Charles’ eyes scanned the list and smiled.

“I like Doritos and Captain America too.”

“And…is it alright if we bake a cake?”

Arthur looked over at his brother.

“What movie needs a cake?”

“A movie like The Hulk or Thor! I always imagine them smashing up a cake whenever they fight. Wouldn’t that be funny, Arthur?”

Arthur couldn’t help but laugh. If he could, he would love to watch John just walk around, ignorant to his presence. He wanted to know what went through that boy’s head sometimes and on occasion, John tends to provide him a sneak peek.

“Sure, John.”

Things sort of felt right again. Charles and Arthur were directing more words towards each other instead of using John’s conversation as their own. They pulled up to Charles’ house and got out of the car. John rushed over to Arthur’s side and hugged him with all his might. Arthur gratefully accepted the embrace and giggled.

“Seems like you already gearing up for them superhero movies.”

John’s laugh was childish and thrilled. He nodded and then left to be at Charles’ side. Arthur yelled out that he was going to help Charles walk Copper too. John didn’t seem too mad about that. When they were gone, Arthur whipped out his phone while walking to his house, and started texting Dutch. His boyfriend was getting ready to shower.

_Oo you should call me while you do it._

Arthur was feeling excited in more ways than one, and he was struggling to hide that from Dutch at the moment.

 _Arthur! I don’t think you’ve ever been this forward._ He sent four eye emojis. Arthur’s cheeks blushed, his thumbs flying quick over the keyboard.

_I were only joking, but if you’re serious…_

Arthur decided to punctuate the sentence with a single eggplant. He hoped he was getting under Dutch’s skin at least a little. He was no good at the sexting bit, but he tried and he was going to keep trying tonight.

_Lol, let me get my stuff together and then I’ll see what I can do ; )_

He put the keys in the door and closed the door gently behind him. He didn’t see any sign of his father, but if he was around, he didn’t want to risk getting his attention. All he had to do was get dressed and leave.

“Just get dressed and leave…get dressed and leave, Arthur…” He repeated it like a mantra while he made his way up the steps.


	27. Chapter 27

So far so good. Arthur had managed to get dress without incident. He didn’t see his father home, and he had a bit of time before he had to go to Dutch. Arthur wondered if he had time to smoke a quick bowl before going to eat. He usually didn’t have much appetite while he was sober, and he would feel awful if he wasted any of the food that his boyfriend went through so much trouble for. He still didn’t know what nasty trick Trelawny and Dutch pulled to get those reservations, but he was glad for it. He refused to let anything go wrong during the few hours he’d be with his partner. He slid the white button up shirt on. He didn’t have a lot of clothes, he saved most of his money for John and the house and he reasoned that it didn’t matter much. He only really needed pants for work but besides that, it was rare for Arthur to be in anything that wasn’t a uniform. He pulled on some dark blue denim jeans and marveled at the last time he even wore the pair of pants. He went to the bathroom and gave himself a onceover. He brushed his hair so that it looked somewhat neater than the bed head he never had time to style. He looked presentable, he looked good…he felt good, and that was the last thing he’d been banking on.

After he deemed himself picture perfect, Arthur had half a mind to call John already and see if he was okay. He was being silly and over protective, he knew that. But there was hardly a moment where John’s happiness wasn’t on his mind. He wondered if he should’ve left a note with Charles on how to babysit his little brother. John was a handful even on his calm days, and with how excited he was earlier, he was sure that right about now his brother was bouncing off the walls. He brushed his teeth and flicked around a few loose strands of hair before smoothing it back. His tie was a little old, his father brought it for his mother’s funeral. For as little as Arthur could remember, he knew that the tie he wore was one of the two things he ever bought for him. The other was a cowboy hat. Arthur was six, and he begged for it something awful. He always thought that Lyle bought it just so he could shut up. It worked.

He went back into his room, giving everything a once over so he didn’t leave anything behind. He grabbed his jacket and started heading downstairs. Or, at least he tried to but he heard keys in the door and John didn’t have a pair. His heart stopped and he froze, unsure of whether to move forward or retreat back to his room. Once the door swung open, Arthur used the noise to hide in John’s room. His was the closest to the stairs and just before the bathroom. Arthur left the door cracked so he could be as quiet as possible when he made a break for the front door. He listened carefully to those lumbering footsteps that paced themselves slowly, almost like Lyle was already hot on his trail before Arthur knew that he was coming home. If seeing himself out of a uniform was a shock to him then he could imagine how Lyle would react to seeing him in formal wear.

“Arthur! John! Where the fuck are you!”

He was cranky. Arthur knew Lyle in all his moods. When he was drunk and when he wasn’t. When he wasn’t drunk, he was angry. He sit and stew in his own anger until he got some more of his beloved drink down his gullet. Arthur held his breath as he heard the steps stop.

“Boys! I ain’t in the mood for no fucking hide and seek!”

Arthur heard something slam. It was a cabinet door in the kitchen. Then the familiar twinkling of whiskey glasses rang in his ears and Arthur knew that the sound of a bottle opening would follow.

“I had a very long day today, boys, get out here and come greet your pa!”

Arthur exhaled shortly and figured that if he was quick enough he could leave without his father noticing. He could leave the door open and his father would just think that it was his forgetful mind again. Arthur ran it over twice and then three times in his mind before deeming it absolutely foolproof. He moved his foot and kicked one of John’s action figures. It blared a muffled wrestling catchphrase and then the equally inaudible noise of a crowd cheering rang throughout John’s room. Lyle wasn’t drunk enough to leave that alone. Arthur let out something akin to a sob as the dread of his father’s stomps came quicker.

“Arthur! Arthur is that you?”

He took in three quick breaths and tried to steady his breathing. He looked down at the shirt and tie he was wearing. He nearly choked himself trying to get his tie off. He could hear Lyle halfway up the steps and his hands flew to his buttons, they were shaking and he was having a hard time seeing over the tears that blurred his eyesight. He pulled the shirt off and tucked it under John’s pillow just as his father was coming in. He shoved the door open and found Arthur pulling the comforter over the pillow. Arthur patted the sheet down in an attempt to make it look like he was making the bed. He jumped at the sight of his dad standing in the doorway, blocking all his access points. Lyle squinted and looked him up and down. Arthur hid his uneven breathing by bending down and picking up some of the toys John had scattered around the room. This was the one and only time he thanked the Lord for his brother’s messiness.

“Didn’t you hear me calling for you? You bastard!”

Arthur shook his head. Placing the stuffed animal in the bin next to John’s bed.

“I’m sorry, pa. I ain’t hear cause I were…all caught up with John’s mess.”

Lyle surveyed the room. Arthur’s pacing slowed as he bided his time, waiting for an opening.

“Still looking a bit messy ‘round here, isn’t it?”

“I been cleaning a long time. You know John, he got more energy to play than he do cleaning.”

Lyle didn’t know John because he hardly spent longer than two hours around him since he was born. He turned his attention back on Arthur.

“…How long you been home son?”

“Reckon not much longer than an hour. Dropped John off to his friend’s house.”

“Friend?”

“Lenny, Sean. They in his class, he been friends with them since first grade.”

His dad no longer looked interested in hearing about his son’s social life. He waved his hand away and looked vaguely irritated at even having to talk about one of his children for longer than two minutes.

“You said you been here an hour?”

Arthur stood back up and put the bin on the shelf it belonged to. He nodded. In an instant he was nearly swept off his feet as his dad pounced on him. Cupping Arthur’s chin in his large, vice-like grip, he used his other hand to push Arthur’s face so close to his own that he could smell the stale beer and cigarettes in his breath. Arthur whimpered, despite his very best attempts not to. Lyle’s eyes, far too like his own, searched deep inside of Arthur’s. Arthur’s cheeks were trembling from his father’s own hand. He latched both of his hands around his father’s wrist, attempting to relieve some pressure from his face to no avail.

“That eye of yours looks like it’s fading. Should we fix that?”

He shook his son’s head violently causing Arthur’s breath to hitch and his eyes shut in the hopes that he would be given enough mercy to not see the hit that would be coming. He felt nothing but the air hitting his face. His father laughed. It was raspy, vocal cords worn down from years of chain-smoking, drinking. There was also the fact that Arthur never heard his father laugh for more than being wicked.

“Why have you been here an hour and there’s no…FUCKING dinner on my table?”

Arthur was too frazzled to even think of an excuse. Everything he tried to say got choked up in the lump that rested in his throat. His father lifted him a little higher and he could feel the tips of his toes on the wooden floor. He tried to swallow but even that was difficult.

“I’ll make you dinner pa, I promise I’ll make you dinner.”

It hurt Arthur to speak, and his legs were starting to kick, desperate for his feet to touch the floor again. Lyle snarled in his face and then threw him down to the floor. Arthur hit his shoulder and head on the way down. He hissed and grabbed at his shoulder, his head was down, he was too afraid to make any contact with his father. Lyle picked up some of the toys out of the bin and threw them down hard around Arthur, just to make him jump a little. Lyle stood towering over his son for just a moment longer before growing bored and walking out of the room.

“Get started on that fucking food!”

Arthur sniffled when he was sure that his dad was gone. If Lyle heard his son, his oldest no less, crying, it would spell more trouble for him and he really didn’t want to cancel on Dutch. Dutch, who was still waiting for him and probably losing his patience with him too. He looked down at his phone to get an idea of the time. He was already supposed to be halfway to Blackwater University already. He just had to wait, wait until his father was full and more interested in getting drunk alone in his room than hounding Arthur. He wiped at his cheeks furiously, breathing in and out deeply and roughly until he found himself standing off the floor. He put the toys back again and made his way silently down the stairs, steeling himself for whatever Lyle had prepared for him.

\--------

_I can see you enjoy being fashionably late. Don’t bother showing up to my room, I’m already headed there. Hosea let me borrow his car for the night. Just meet me at the restaurant whenever you’re ready, my prince._

_And don’t forget the reservation time! It took me VERY long to get these, Arthur, remember that!_

The message was ended with three kissy emojis and the passive-aggressive smiley face. Arthur was en route to the restaurant, not being able to check his phone because he was tending to his father who was napping last Arthur saw him. Sneaking out of the house was one thing, getting back in was another. The Cornwall restaurant was forty minutes in the other direction of Blackwater, and that was without traffic. He tried to drive as fast as he could without getting pulled over. He’d been crying the whole way.

The restaurant was hard to miss, the sky was getting darker. It was covered in purples, reds, and oranges thanks to the setting sun. The lights on the restaurant’s signs were burning brightly. Arthur reckoned that a blind person could even see it just from how bright they were. He parked himself; the fancy valet man in the front tried very earnestly to get him to cough up the dough he didn’t have to park it for him. The handful of people that were waiting in line to be called were older than him, older and very rich. He straightened at his tie and tried to emulate their posture. He always wondered how they had such straight backs. They all stared at him as he walked up to the doorman.

“Excuse me sir, I’m…I’m with Dutch van der Linde. I believe he got a reservation?”

His cheeks grew hot. His face was already red and puffy from all the crying he’d just done so he was sure that he was already a sight. He’d always been slightly insecure about the way he spoke, tonight didn’t do him any favors. The doorman scanned his list and nodded. He pointed his finger, his assurance of entry. The people waiting in line whispered amongst themselves. He coughed and then walked inside. There was soft jazz music playing, or whatever fancy restaurant music was. Like the twinkling of the glasses that he hears when his father fishes around in the cabinet. Left and right there was the clinking of silverware, lively chatter, and waiters darting around with platters of food and little time for people like Arthur in their way. It was packed and he was starting to see why Dutch was being so anal about their reservations. He saw Dutch sitting at a table just off-center of the restaurant. He was sitting in between two old couples who looked like they were having the same tired old conversations. Dutch looked irritated, mad even. Arthur tried to clean himself up without a mirror before heading over to his awaiting boyfriend.

When he approached the table, he pulled the chair back and gave his best smile, hoping that Dutch wouldn’t see that he’d been crying for close to an hour. He sat down in it and tried to sit up straight, like everyone else was.

“Hi, hon.”

Dutch didn’t have even so much as a smirk on his face as he looked Arthur up and down. Arthur could immediately tell that something about his appearance wasn’t enough for Dutch tonight. Dutch thought carefully about the two words that left his mouth, shrouded in disapproval.

“You’re late.”


	28. Chapter 28

“You’re late.”

Dutch said this matter-of-factly, like he’d been waiting to say this since before Arthur even showed up. The younger man sniffed and took his place at the table. There were already two menus out for them. Arthur cleared his throat and picked up the menu, still keeping that tiny smile plastered to his face.

“I’m sorry, Dutch. Pa came home right when I was leaving and he weren’t about to let me go nowhere if I didn’t make him dinner first.”

Dutch stared into Arthur’s eyes hard before letting out a sharp exhale and moving to open his own menu. Arthur was relieved by the silence as he perused the menu, looking at all these gourmet dishes that he never thought he’d eat in his life time. He wondered if John would be open to eating salmon one night.

“Is your phone dead?”

Arthur’s eyes jerked back up at Dutch. His boyfriend was reading the words carefully and making it a point to not look at him.

“No, I suppose it ain’t.”

“I would’ve liked a text is all. I was worried about you, Arthur. You know it ain’t like you to be late for our dates.”

“Don’t think I weren’t trying to tell you I’d be late. My pa would’ve had my hide if I started texting you in front of him. He’d think that I was being disrespectful.”

Dutch hmphed and straightened out the pages of the menu before folding one half. His eyebrow quirked up twice at some of the things he was reading. Arthur just wanted to talk to him. He moved forward and placed a hand on Dutch’s.

“What look good to you? I’m afraid I don’t have much of a head for fancy food like this. What was you talking about on the phone that night? That French stuff.”

“Filet Mignon?”

Arthur’s eyes lit up and he nodded. Dutch’s mouth twitched in the ghost of a smile.

“Yeah! Don’t that sound good to you?”

Dutch sighed and nodded.

“Paired with a nice red wine, that sounds very good. Very good, indeed.”

He started stroking at the moustache that he’d been sporting for close to a year. Arthur always liked that Dutch was hairy, and thought it was even funnier that the man worked so hard to go against that. Arthur himself wasn’t no sphinx cat, but his hair was blond and lighter than Dutch’s midnight black. He always joked with Dutch that he’d never get cold in the winter and any time they were in bed together, Arthur always made it a point to run his fingers through Dutch’s chest hair. Arthur wasn’t very on board when Dutch told him he was going to grow his facial hair out, but seeing Dutch now…he looked very mature and it stirred something within Arthur. Dutch’s hand changed positions, he was resting his on top of Arthur’s, his thumb carding over his boyfriend’s smooth skin.

“You know I don’t like hearing about all that, Arthur. About your pa.”

“And I don’t like talking about it neither, but you the only one that knows besides John and I. I don’t have no one else to talk to that ain’t John.”

Dutch pressed his thin lips together, and brought Arthur’s hand up for a kiss.

“Tonight, my dear, we don’t have to worry about nothing except how cooked our steak is. You have my word on that.”

Arthur laughed and tipped his head. It was a nervous tic that he never really grew out of. Dutch loved it.

“I still don’t know how you pulled this off, hon. How…how you even supposed to pay for this?”

“Shh…don’t worry about that.”

Arthur chuckled softer this time, and he took one more look of the area in before shrugging.

“Sure, but it still don’t seem real to me.”

“You’ve been a good boyfriend, Arthur. Been with me through thick and thin. Reckon this is the least I can do to show that.”

“It’s enough, Dutch. Truly.”

The conversation ended there because the waitress came over. She looked indifferent and in quite a rush. Arthur felt her pain all too much and made a silent promise to the both of them that he would be as kind of a customer as possible. He had sympathy for all customer service workers. She smoothed her hair back and then brandished her notepad.

“May I take your order tonight?”

Arthur opened his mouth to order but Dutch’s soon overpowered him.

“Yes we’ll take two filet mignons. I’ll have mine with a side of mashed potatoes and my partner here will take his with a side salad. He works at McDonald’s and all that fast food has wreaked havoc on his waistline.”

Arthur immediately looked down at his gut and felt around. His stomach was a bit pudgier than he was used to. Before he was old enough to get a job, he was always so skinny. He didn’t notice that he was putting on weight. He flashed an embarrassed smile at the waitress and that was all. The waitress looked at him with a weird look, but wrote down the order all the same.

“Anything to drink?”

“We’ll take red wine.”

Arthur shot a hard stare at Dutch.

“Oh I won’t be having none, I got to drive back home.”

“It’s just one cup of wine, Arthur, you ain’t going to fall over.”

Once again Arthur said nothing in his own defense, but he would be lying to himself if he said he wasn’t just the smallest amount of irritated at that. Dutch knew that Arthur needed his car and his license more than he needed a house, and on top of being a minor, he really shouldn’t drink before going home. Who would get his car if he left it at the restaurant? But Dutch wanted wine, and it was their anniversary. Arthur just wanted it to be perfect, so he left it alone. The waitress looked at Arthur again while scribbling down the order.

“I’ll get you a cup of water too, don’t worry.”

She smiled at him. It was comforting and it made Arthur sad that she had to do that. She moved to head toward the kitchen, but then Dutch grabbed her by the wrist.

“Please miss, if you won’t mind staying here just a bit longer. Arthur, just give the two of us a second?”

He was taken off-guard by that question. Did Dutch know this woman? Is that why they got reservations in the first place? He listened and went to the bathroom. He needed to clean himself up anyway. Arthur only ever used those boring and disgusting public bathrooms when he went out to eat. The music was still playing and the bathroom was lined with gold. The stalls were doors and you actually couldn’t see the feet of your neighbors. The stalls looked like they were cleaned after every use, and they were fair distances from each other. There was three of them. The mirror was large and gilded and for a moment Arthur could imagine that this was his life every day. He was filthy rich and too snooty to cook for himself, and so he was well acquainted with this large mirror because he could afford to eat out every day and there was always a reservation waiting for him here. He laughed at the thought of John sitting in this lavish eatery and still angrily banging his knife and fork on the table demanding cheeseburgers and mac, hold the vegetables.

He should check on his brother, it was about an hour and a half since he left his brother with Charles. Arthur seldom was ever away from John very long and if he was, it was because John was at with his friends or he was with Dutch. He brandished his phone and tapped on John’s number. The phone rang twice and then the sound of his brother’s very harsh breathing was heard on the other line.

“What are you doing?”

“Charles and I getting ready to walk Copper! I was playing with him, you ain’t tell me he was so strong!”

He smiled and leant against the sinks.

“I ain’t too sure sometimes if I’m walking the dog or he walking me.”

“I hope Copper drags me through the mud!”

Arthur’s brow rose, wondering why John looked forward to that specifically.

“You a strange boy, you know that?”

“Yeah I know, I think.”

Arthur let that sink in for a minute. He honestly didn’t know where else to go with that, John was only a kid and far be it from Arthur to say he had better conversation skills, but with John it was real easy for a conversation to be over. He probably did it on purpose for all he knew.

“Put Charles on the phone, please.”

“But you called me!”

“And I’ll keep talking to you right after but I just want to ask Charles a few questions.”

“You going to ask him if I’m being rowdy!”

Arthur remembers the first time John learned that word. Arthur called him that once, on a day where John was being particularly unruly and he didn’t know how else to convey to his little brother that he was annoyed and fed up with the antics without hurting the poor boy’s feelings. So, Arthur decided that he wasn’t quite being a scoundrel or a rascal, he was just being rowdy. John absolutely _loved_ being called that and from that day on whenever he thought he could be called that, he just went ahead and labelled himself as that rowdy boy.

“I know you on your best behavior, I just want to see if he want to know anything about you that you don’t know.”

“That’s creepy!”

Arthur didn’t even get to respond because in a moment he heard rustling and then the sound of Charles’ voice giving John some instructions before speaking on the phone.

“Hello?”

“Hey Charles!”

“Arthur! How’s…how’s everything going?”

Charles sounded quieter mentioning Arthur’s date night. Arthur was just glad to hear his voice.

Arthur stood quiet as he looked at himself in the mirror. His face was splotchy, his eye went from that horrid shade of purple to a yellowish-green that he wished wasn’t there at all but at least it was healing. The swelling of his face went down some, it’d been over ten minutes since he stopped crying. He had bags under his eyes. He’d been awake for hours and hasn’t had so much as twenty minutes to himself besides his time in the car on the ride over. How was everything going? He made Dutch upset, his father almost sent him to the hospital. But then he heard how happy John was and he figured that his life and day could be going worse.

“Good, I think. I only got here just a few minutes ago. Dutch…weren’t too thrilled that I were late but I think we over that now.”

Charles didn’t speak right away but Arthur had patience. Arthur heard barking and John’s over-excited chatter in the background.

“Copper be nice!” Charles shouted in an affirmative tone.

Arthur took a deep breath, remembering where he was and who he was talking to.

“Anyway, I were only calling to check in on y’all and see how everything was going.”

“Everything’s going great, John and I already started watching some of the movies on his list. When we get back, we’re going to watch _Age of Ultron_ when we come back from walking Copper. He started whining when we were halfway through _Captain America_ so movie night’s on hold for now.”

“Tell Arthur we made cakes!”

Arthur grinned at John’s interruption. Charles’ light breath of laughter was a refreshing sound to Arthur’s ears.

“He got you baking cakes?”

“Yeah.” Charles wanted to sound exasperated, but Arthur could hear the entertainment in his voice. Charles complained that he didn’t have much to do since he hurt his leg, he was glad that they were both having fun.

“The cakes are cooling, we’re going to watch _Thor_ right after, so take your time coming back! Or, you know, if John wants to spend the night that’s okay too.”

“Don’t worry, I won’t come between y’all’s movie night. Dutch and I just ordered our food, don’t think it’ll be coming for some time yet.”

“Bring back some leftovers if you can. Filet Mignon is delicious.”

“So I’ve been hearing. Lucky for you, Dutch ordered it for us. If I don’t finish all of it, I’ll bring the rest to you.”

“I was only joking,” laughter tinged Charles’ voice, “But if you do have some then I won’t object to a little taste.”

The two shared a laugh before comfortable silence fell over them. Arthur broke the silence.

“I can’t thank you enough for helping me with John, tonight, Charles. Seriously.”

Arthur didn’t see Dutch walk in, but he did hear his boyfriend’s interjection.

“I think you’re doing a mighty fine job of it right now.”

Arthur saw Dutch standing behind him in the reflection of the mirror. He gasped, startled by the quiet entrance. Dutch’s face was blank and he was walking over to Arthur slowly.

“Charles, I’ll call you back, okay?”

Charles sounded confused by obliging. He stuttered his quick goodbye and Arthur hung up promptly. Dutch was standing directly behind Arthur now and the younger man could feel his eyes searching his body. Searching, searching, searching.

Arthur will admit he was shocked to see Dutch’s eerily unreadable face quirk into a smile. He placed a kiss to the side of Arthur’s head. When Arthur softened, Dutch toyed with Arthur’s shoulder.

“There’s a hole here, Arthur.”

Arthur followed his boyfriend’s line of sight. There was a small gash in the seam of his shirt, his shoulder was peeking out just enough for the pink of his flesh to show in stark contrast to the white linen.

“You want to tell me what’s going on here?”

Arthur’s eyes stared deeply into Dutch’s reflection. His chest hurt and he felt his eyes watering again. Dutch asked though, Arthur had to answer.


	29. Chapter 29

“Arthur. Look at yourself, right now.”

Arthur’s eyes drifted back to his own face in his reflection. The lighting reflected all the gold, so he and Dutch had a more yellowish-hue. Almost golden. His nose was heaving, laboring and trying to stop himself from crying. Dutch’s hand snaked down Arthur’s wrist and latched onto his own hand. He kissed Arthur on his head again.

“You got a hole in your shirt, your eyes so puffy I can’t tell if you was stung by a bee or not. You been crying?”

Arthur nodded. Dutch’s other hand rested on his waist. The waist that he noticed that was growing. Dutch sighed.

“You got into a fight with your pa, didn’t you?”

“It weren’t much of a fight, hon.”

Arthur let out something like a chuckle. It wasn’t funny it never was and there was no reason he should’ve done that but he did it anyway. Dutch looked unhappy to hear that.

“I told you before, Arthur, I want to help I really do, but I can’t not when I’m so far away. You just got to do your best to stay away from him for now.”

He felt the hot sting of the tears at last and did nothing to stop them. He sniffed loudly and wiped at them furiously. He wished the music was louder.

“I tried, Dutch. I did. I hid and I tried to stay away but…he got me anyway. He always will.”

It was like Arthur’s body couldn’t handle being so sad all over. His tears stopped immediately but he just felt tired and heavy. Dutch kissed him on his cheek. His hand was rubbing at his lower back and Arthur considered it comfort.

“Listen, forget I asked. You’re forgiven, I ain’t mad anymore, we’re going to have an amazing night now.”

Dutch wasn’t looking at him anymore, he was focused back on that hole in his shirt still.

“I been meaning to fix that, but I don’t got much time.”

“My dear boy, you know that I will be more than happy to buy a shirt for you, hell, I’ll buy you a whole three-piece set if you asked. You remember me telling you how the upper classes look down on us if we don’t take care of our appearance, even more than they already do. There’s power in quiet forms of protest too. We have to look kept together at all times or else they’ll know that the systems in place worked again by breaking our spirit. Your spirit ain’t broken yet, is it?”

This time he stared deeply into Arthur’s eyes. His hand was roaming Arthur’s lower back now. Arthur sighed. He was _tired_ and whatever energy he had went towards John and making sure he was cared for. He really did want to mend that shirt but he just couldn’t will himself to sew the stitch again. Dutch hates when Arthur’s clothes have holes in them. He was tired, but there was something that made him go on every day. He still woke up, he still went to work, and he still made John happy. Even his father couldn’t stop that. He shook his head, now knowing the answer to Dutch’s question. Dutch smiled and pressed three kisses to his head. They felt nice.

“Of course it ain’t! Now, let’s get you cleaned up, shall we? No offense, my dear, but you look terrible.”

Arthur looked at himself. He has looked better, they both knew. He sighed in half-hearted agreement and turned the sink water on. The water was warm when he splashed it on his face.

\------

“Copper slow down!”

Charles wasn’t sure what it was about John that was making Copper absolutely wild but what he did know was that he wasn’t a big fan of it. He sounded like a tired dad for most of the evening thanks to him always scolding Copper for some misbehavior or other. Copper almost knocked the cake pans over, and that was the second batch they made because the dog ate the other cakes they made first. Thankfully none of them were chocolate. Now he was running circles around the couch while John howled with laughter. Charles thought that maybe Copper was just putting on a show just for the boy. He’d been getting walked by Arthur for a while and he wondered, in his own canine way, he knew that John was his brother.

It made John laugh, so Charles didn’t do much in the way of really stopping Copper from acting like a shithead. And, Charles had to admit that he was having one of the best nights of his life since the accident. It was nice to get to know John like this instead of the scared little boy that refused to even eat until he saw his big brother.

Charles never really stopped thinking about that either. He wasn’t around much for their interactions, but seeing them at the ice cream shop, and even the few times he’d been with them in the car, he realized that something was off. Everyone who knew Arthur knew that John wasn’t his son, but even then there was room for doubt in that thought. When Arthur was still in school, he saw the way Arthur was always in a rush to pick his brother up from school and that he didn’t really do anything besides go to school and then go home. They were freshmen, Charles missed Arthur. They didn’t really speak much after John was born, Arthur was just too busy. He heard Arthur telling Mary-Beth that John was going to spend some time with Lenny and Sean after school, so he thought that he’d invite him to a movie. He approached him after the last bell rang and the students shuffled out of the building into their respective vehicles. Arthur was never picked up by his father and he generated some buzz about being a freshman with a car.

Arthur looked scared when Charles invited him on the outing. He stammered a string of words that sounded more like an excuse. He had to be able to get John when he got out of school, and that he had a lot of homework to do because he missed a few days. Charles knew that most of that was a lie, and he would be lying if he said that he wasn’t hurt that Arthur tried so hard to get out of it. He let him go, and Arthur looked like he wanted to say something else. Charles didn’t get another chance to ask him out either, Arthur dropped out not long after and the only time he was able to get a hold of him was during lunch or class. But then Charles started doing sports and he came in hot under the school’s eye. Everyone wanted to be his friend and he could see amidst the crowd of classmates that wanted him to like them, that Arthur was drifting farther and farther from him.

He worried about Arthur all the time. He is a wrestler, and Arthur isn’t. Charles often finds himself sporting the same injuries that Arthur did. He knows what a black eye is and how you get it. He always saw the odd bruising on Arthur’s arms if his sleeves rode up. Sometimes Arthur just didn’t come to school. Arthur probably thinks that Charles didn’t know child abuse when he saw it, but he loved Arthur, and he had since they were in the fourth grade, he knew full well what it looked like. He always told his father whenever he could get a hold on him, about Arthur’s bruises and how he always looked sad. But he was a kid and his father didn’t listen to children.

John was done laughing at Copper and focused once again on the Marvel line-up he had. He was reading his list. His tongue was poking out of his mouth just a little bit.

“Do we have the Doritos, Charles?”

Charles hummed and nodded. He leant forward and pulled the nacho cheese chips out of the paper bag.

“Check.”

John let out several noises of delight and checked his list.

“Perfect! Now, let’s watch _Captain America_!”

Charles let out a prompt “Whoo hoo!”

John loved that and so he responded in kind. Copper refused to be left out let out a grand howl too. The two humans shared a good laugh about it. Once the movie started, John was shifting around a lot. Charles glanced over at him and nudged him with his good foot.

“What’s wrong, little man?”

John twiddled his thumbs. Something Charles classified as a nervous tic. He did it a lot when Arthur wasn’t around. John gulped and then looked up at him.

“…Charles, do…do your leg hurt?”

If Charles was being honest, he was smoking a lot more and it was more for medicinal reasons this time around. He nodded. John didn’t deserve or gain anything from lying.

“It hurts sometimes. Why?”

Chris Evan’s voice was monologuing while John gathered his thoughts. Charles’ eyes found themselves wandering back over until he heard the young voice pipe up.

“When my brother and I watch movies we, um….he let me lay on his leg. Just my head. It helps me focus on the movie more. That’s what he tell me.”

Charles heart swelled again at the thought about his love for Arthur and the way he was with John. John was a good kid and the two brothers definitely deserved better than what they were given. If John wanted to play video games and watch movies with some snacks, then he would. If he missed his brother and wanted to relieve that? He would. He cracked a smile and nodded.

“You can lay on my leg, John. Does he give you a pillow?”

John nodded, a smile growing on his face. Started shifting so that he could press his head against Charles’ thigh. Charles tapped him on the shoulder and slid the pillow in between his head. Arthur always told him that he didn’t need help. He always turned away any offers of help. Arthur looked tired earlier, and if it were up to Charles, he would’ve told him to get some sleep first. It wasn’t a chore to watch John, and if he could try, he would be happy to have a sleep over with him. He ran a soft hand over John’s head, the kid enraptured in Steve Rogers beating up Nazis.

Maybe he would ask Arthur how a sleepover at his house sounded. He would even make dinner.

Yeah, that sounded like something he wanted to do.

\------

“There, don’t you feel better now?”

Arthur had just finished dabbing at his face, the puffiness had gone down considerably and he looked something like himself again. His breathing was steadier, his heart didn’t feel like it was going to pop out of his chest anymore. Dutch held him for a little bit. People came in and out of the bathroom, not trying to notice that these two men were having a moment that wasn’t for the public’s consumption. Arthur loved the embrace, but there was something altered about it. Something wasn’t there, but everything else was. He was too out of sorts and tired with the day’s events to think about it anymore.

“I think our food’s almost ready. You think you ready to face the world again?”

And Arthur smiled and nodded because that’s what he always did for Dutch. Dutch liked that, so did Arthur. Dutch grabbed at his hand and the two walked back into the dining area and just as Arthur expected, the world didn’t stop once he went into the bathroom. He saw the waitress coming back over with their food and their drinks. She looked like she’d been crying.

“What’s wrong, miss?”

Arthur was taking his seat. Dutch didn’t look too fazed that their waitress was upset as well. Arthur felt like he brought his bad luck to the restaurant, and now something was going wrong for everyone that came around him. The waitress shook her head and placed his glass of water down gently, whereas with Dutch, she placed his wine glass down not in front of him and as hard as she could without breaking it. Dutch shot a glare at her before moving the glass closer to him. She set the bottle down and even though Arthur was ravenous, he enjoyed watching her set the table and even helped where he could. He moved their plates out of the way and anything else that might make her job harder. She gave the pair a once over and when she didn’t see anything out of place personally, she asked the two of them if they were okay. Arthur nodded, sensing that she wasn’t in the mood for much more than a curt response. She popped the cork.   

“I’m very happy for you.”

Her parting words. She didn’t look like she was. Why did she say that? She spun around faster than Arthur could stop her and she walked away, he lost her in the crowd of other servers just like her.

“Don’t worry about her, Arthur. Her narrative doesn’t matter anymore after we leave here.”

“Don’t talk like that, Dutch. She weren’t upset a moment ago, what did you say to her?”

Dutch feigned an air of ignorance, and shrugged his shoulders.

“I only asked for a few requests.”

“Like what?”

It was then Dutch’s eyes sparkled and he was overcome with an energy that Arthur seldom saw.

“Why don’t we have a cup of wine first? I’ll even let you do the honors.”

Arthur sighed and rolled his eyes.

“Hon, I told you I ain’t having any wine!”

“Just humor me, my dear boy!”

Arthur looked over at the bottle of wine, and something shiny caught his eye. He leant forward and saw that on the neck of the bottle was a shiny gold ring. It had a ruby instead of a diamond. Arthur’s jaw dropped. It couldn’t be what he thought it was, now was it? Dutch looked happy, ecstatic, and everything in between. Was this the point of this fancy dinner? He cut a piece of his steak, unsure of what to do next.

“Arthur, you know we been together for…well, we been together for quite some time.”

Arthur swallowed and drank some of his water.

“I know Dutch.”

Dutch’s voice was soft, so Arthur’s went softer. Dutch moved to pick Arthur’s hand up, he dropped the knife he was holding. His boyfriend pressed a kiss to his knuckles.

“Arthur Morgan, you know that I am madly in love with you. I don’t quite know how you’ve done with many partners of mine had failed to do, but I’m glad that it was you, all things considered.”

“Dutch…”

“And with that, I’ve thought long and hard about this decision, but I’m sure it’s the right next step for us. I’m going to be a free man soon, graduation is coming up and after that I’ll be a man of the world. My ma had her reservations about me being a business major but I’ll make it work, I’ll make it work for the both of us, Arthur. I want you in my life forever, and judging by how long we been together, I think you don’t mind that either. So, it’s with this ring that I humbly and earnestly ask you…”

Arthur was touched, nervous, and hesitant.

“Dutch.”

“Arthur Morgan, will you marry me?”

The tables next to them heard the question and in a moment, they were turned to see what Arthur would do. What was he going to do?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dutch has popped the big question! Do you think Arthur should marry him?


	30. Chapter 30

One of the wives at the tables gasped when she heard what Dutch asked Arthur. She tapped her husband frantically, the gray-haired man none too pleased about being prodded so roughly about an event he didn't care about, craned his head just enough to make his wife happy. The other table were already invested in Dutch and Arthur since the moment they took their seats. They were probably entertained at how shabby Arthur looked in comparison to his boyfriend, or they were just nosy. Arthur thought that maybe it was both.

Dutch got up from his seat, pulling the ring off the neck of the bottle smoothly. He was always graceful when he was making a scene, Arthur loved that about him. Still does. He thought, second to that was Dutch's smile. It was a bit hidden since he grew out that moustache but it always made Arthur melt. He bent down and held the ring up to Arthur's hands that rested limply in his lap.

"Arthur Morgan, will you marry me?"

And there it was again. That question that made Arthur's both seize up and freeze. He couldn't tell if it was out of terror, or happiness. Dutch wanted to marry him, of all people. That same kid he found in McDonald's, sniffling and bruised. Arthur joked before that every time they see each other he was always one or the other. Dutch always thought that was hilarious. It made Arthur feel very much like how he did now. Tense, confused, unsure of whether to be flattered or offended.

But he really did love Dutch. If Dutch didn't love him then he wouldn't propose, right? Go so far as to bend the knee in front of these people he wanted to impress. Certainly not for somebody like Arthur. Dutch always told Arthur that he was the first like himself. He never really did get that joke. But what Arthur did get, and what he knew well was that he loved Dutch, and you marry the person you love. So that's why he should be able to say yes in a heartbeat and laugh and cry and kiss Dutch all over his stubbly face. But he's staring dumbfounded into those dark brown eyes and he's at odds.

"Arthur?"

Arthur could hear the strain on his name. That politeness threatening to wane if he didn't make a decision soon. The only decision. The right one, and agree to be Dutch's husband. His eyes kept darting over to all the gawkers; it was the whole restaurant mostly. His eyes landed on the waitress he had for the night. She still looked upset and Arthur was sorry for whatever happened to her while he was away. She tried her best not to look over at the commotion, but her eyes landed on Dutch for the most part and if looks could kill, his boyfriend would be dead. Arthur caught eyes with her once and she softened. She looked sad again and he wished he knew why.

Arthur hadn't realized that through this whole thought process he hadn't said anything to Dutch, and the crowd was quickly approaching annoyed instead of intrigued. Dutch didn't like being made a spectacle. The older man looked at Arthur's hand and said, "Give me your hand."

Arthur's hand trembled a bit, he was nervous because there was so many people watching, the pressure was incredible. He didn't know that Dutch wanted to get married, he told him at length once that he didn't believe that they needed to register their marriage to the government for it to be a legit marriage. Arthur agreed. He wished that he knew Dutch was going to do this.

Arthur saw Dutch's mouth twitch, but to everyone else it just looked like a smile. Arthur held his hand out at last and Dutch held it.

"I know this...this is sudden, but I couldn't see another time that this would work. It's already our two-year anniversary, why don't we make it our wedding anniversary while we're at it?"

Everytime Arthur tried to speak nothing came out. He laughed. Dutch smiled brightly at that reaction and slid the ring on his finger. The gawkers clapped and some cheered. Arthur's eyes scanned the crowd and thought that they all looked the same. He didn't even realize that he was crying until he felt Dutch's thumb rub at his cheek.

"My lord, ain't you just a leaky faucet today!"

He breathed out a laugh, Arthur looked down at the ring. It was shiny and unexpected. Dutch kissed him on both his cheeks and hugged him. The crowd soon lost interest and so did Dutch, he signalled the waitress over to bag up their food. Dutch specifically asked for the side salad to be bagged separate. The whole time, Arthur felt like he couldn't breathe. Instead of flying over the moon he landed on it and was suffocating. He didn't stop smiling though. He had a fiance now and he'd be a fool to not be happy.

They left the restaurant and Dutch was postively giddy about the debacle.

"It all went just like how I planned it, Arthur!"

They were standing in the parking lot. People trickled out of the restaurant slowly, bellies full and lethargic, more eager to get home than to stare at them any longer. Cars backed out and drove off. All Arthur wanted to do was be like them. He was still hungry and he only had one bite of the steak he looked forward to all week. Dutch stopped him and tilted his chin up so that his young fiance was staring into his eyes.

"I love you, Arthur. You know that, right?"

Arthur never could help but smile whenever he heard Dutch say that to him. Besides John, he hadn't heard anyone tell him that since his mother died. Dutch was willing to say it, and Arthur was willing to receive it. Dutch's hand cupped his chin and he kissed his lips.

"I love you too, Dutch."

Dutch released him and then walked him over to his car. Arthur unlocked the door, Dutch quickly pushed his hand away so that he could hold the door open for him. Arthur got in and took his leftovers out of the bag. Dutch pressed another kiss to his temple.

"Ain't you happy?"

Arthur's brows furrowed and he looked at Dutch.

"Why you asking me that?"

Dutch sighed and wrinkled up his mouth before finding the words. 

"You just got engaged tonight. I reckon you'd be through the roof."

"I am happy, I'm just...I'm shocked, I guess. I ain't know you was planning to do all that."

Dutch closed the door suddenly and Arthur watched with careful eyes as he walked over to the passenger seat and took a seat inside the car. Dutch swiveled in the seat as best as he could and then gave the car's interior a survey.

"You had this car since before we started dating."

"It still works."

Dutch looked like he wanted to press more on the subject, but with the way Arthur's day had started and the way it was currently going, he couldn't handle being scrutinized anymore than he already was. Arthur was thankful when Dutch decided what they were talking about was more important than how old his car was.

"The point of a proposal is that it's a surprise, dear boy."

"I ain't never been proposed to, how am I supposed to know that?"

"You ain't never been proposed to but you know what one is, don't you? Your partner asks you if you want to marry them and you say yes."

Arthur nodded and sighed. He wasn't trying to start a fight and he wasn't trying to make Dutch upset either. But there was something about the engagement that didn't make him feel good and he wanted to at least convey that to Dutch somehow. He suddenly felt very tired.

"I ain't mad about being your fiance, hon. I ain't mad that you...you know, you did that. I just wish you had talked with me about it first. We never spoke about marriage before."

Dutch's face suddenly went very blank. His moustache was now a thick, straight, black line of fuzz on his top lip. His eyes looked grave.

"How long we been together, Arthur?"

"Two years, Dutch. I know it."

"You love me?"

Arthur was affronted, staring directly into Dutch's eyes to let him see how ridiculous he was being. When Dutch didn't seem to pick up on those wave lengths, Arthur decided to remind him vocally.

"Of course I do, hon."

"Well then, that's all then."

"What?"

Dutch threw his hands up in the air like it was written in the stars. Whatever unspoken rule he came up with and just automatically assumed Arthur knew.

"That's all that is to it. I have faith in you, Arthur. I know that you love me and that we been together a long time. You got faith in me?"

"Yes."

"That's all you really need in a relationship. Faith, Arthur."

Faith. Arthur wasn't sure he really knew what the word meant. He had no strong convictions about anything besides loyalty and John. His mom took him to church a few times before she passed. He remembered trying and failing to listen to the Father's sermons. He didn't believe in nothing like that, he thought it'd be cruel to imagine himself living this life in a world where a god looks on. Faith didn't mean to him what it meant to Dutch. But he did believe in Dutch, and so he figured that was good enough. Dutch rested a hand on his thigh. He didn't look very happy anymore. Arthur figured that maybe he had a long day too.

"You're tired, Arthur. I'll let you go and get some rest. Call me later and we'll talk about the wedding some more, and honeymoon plans. I got my eye set on Tahiti."

To Arthur it all just sounded like a mixture of words that he didn't understand. He just nodded and let Dutch press one more kiss on his lips.

"I can't wait, Arthur."

Arthur's mouth felt heavy and he didn't feel like talking so much anymore. He smiled as best he could and Dutch tapped his chin before leaving the car. He waited until Dutch left first to pull out of the parking lot.

He turned the radio on and let the music fill the stunning silence in the car.


	31. Chapter 31

"I'm going to marry him, Hosea. I know I am."

Hosea was trying to read his book. It was the newest chapter in the crime saga he was following. He only got to the twentieth page before Dutch decided that all eyes should be on him. Despite this, Hosea still tried to read while Dutch went on. He liked to use as ambiance, a rhythm to read to. Tonight though, tonight Dutch just didn't want to seem to stop talking, and Hosea was hard pressed to do anything else that required concentration. He sighed and folded his book over his chest.

"You know, do you?"

Dutch nodded, overjoyed that he finally got Hosea's attention. They were both lying in their respective beds, both pairs of eyes staring up at the ceiling.

"I love that boy."

Hosea winced hearing Dutch say that.

"Is that why you got those reservations? You planning to propose to Arthur?"

"Bingo!"

Dutch sat up. He was shirtless, he was wearing saggy pajama pants. He clapped on the way up and then hopped off the bed to grab the little box he'd been pawing at all day. Dutch had been insistent that Hosea tagged along with him while he went ring shopping. Hosea never really knew how to turn his friend down so they both went. The man that worked the counter thought they were the prospective married couple, Dutch didn't really try that hard to tell him otherwise.

"What about this one? My fiance...he got problems with his weight I want one that'll fit."

The cashier nodded and they moved further down the line. The man droned on and Hosea couldn't help but stare down at the jewelry. It'd be easy to steal them. He could cause a distraction while someone broke the glass and grabbed whatever they could. Dutch would be okay to starting a jewelry heist if he asked, he thinks. If times really get desperate after graduation then he would take him up on that. Dutch shoved a gold ring in front of his friend's face.

"You like this one?"

Hosea's eyes flickered from the ring, to Dutch's expectant gaze. There was a red jewel on the top, it looked like a ruby. It was a pretty ring. His eyes broke contact and went back to lazily admiring the necklaces he wished he could get for Bessie.

"You asking me if I like it because you trying to marry me? Dutch, I am chuffed."

Dutch laughed, Hosea did too. It didn't feel entirely like a joke to the both of them, Hosea could feel it. His chest twitched and he rubbed at it. Dutch was turned back to the ring. Hosea did the same too. The man came around to him and asked if he was looking for something in particular, he smiled and shook his head. Dutch was traipsing up and down the store, holding the ring. He had clearly made up his mind but knowing the conman, he was looking, planning a way to get the ring as cheap as possible. Hosea knew what he was going to do next. He slowly started to move away from Dutch, and tried to listen as little as possible when he heard Dutch's voice deepen. Husky, and uttering words that were all too familiar to Hosea.

He wondered what Arthur would think if he saw that. If he knew how often he did it.

Dutch came strutting over to Hosea, looking as pleased with himself as ever. He brandished the velvet box and smiled wider than he'd ever seen.

"What people won't do for a bit of attention."

Hosea hummed his agreement. They left the store. They were in the mall, and they had been for a while. Hosea found it strange that Dutch specifically wanted to come to the one mall in Blackwater instead of the jewelry stores that littered the area around their campus. Dutch twirled the box around in his finger tips and laughed.

"Is there a joke written on there?"

"Not a joke, Hosea, but an observation. Did you see Arthur when we first got here?"

They came in on the side where the Carvel was. He thought he saw someone that looked like Arthur, but he wasn't interested in what strangers were doing, and he truthfully didn't want to be there so he walked faster than normal. He shook his head.

"He's here, and he was eating ice cream with a boy that ain't me."

"I'm sure that boy was his little brother." 

Dutch pointed his finger in the air and waved it.

"I know John when I see him, he was with a new boy."

Hosea scoffed at _new boy_. Of all the people that deserved to say that, Dutch was deserving the least.

"Good for him."

Dutch, who was not only leaving Hosea in his dust, but having a conversation with him without even looking at him once, stopped dead in his tracks. Hosea skidded to a halt when he saw Dutch's sudden break. Dutch didn't look too happy.

"Good for him?"

"He doesn't get out much, it's good that he's making friends."

"Friends, you really think that boy he's with was just a friend?"

Hosea rolled his eyes. It was clear to anyone that Arthur damn near worshipped the ground that Dutch walked on, or something very much like it. Arthur is also not an idiot, if he was truly cheating on him, then the last place he would go was to an ice cream shop and his little brother. He told Dutch as much, and still his friend didn't want to believe him.

"John don't like me, lord knows Arthur and I had enough fights about that. He never liked me."

"Dutch, John's just a boy. A boy who's very attached to his brother. He wouldn't care if you were a millionaire prince coming to give Arthur money, he wants his brother to himself."

"You're acting like you're well-acquainted with the boy, Hosea. You only met him once."

"Right and I'd have to be an idiot and buffoon both to miss the way John acts around Arthur. Besides, how nice have you been to that boy?"

Dutch seemed annoyed to be revisting all his past interactions with his boyfriend's sibling. Hosea remembered how Dutch paced back and forth, muttering something or other about how unruly his new lover's "ward" is. Hosea only met John twice and it wasn't for longer than ten minutes, but he was fine with him, for the most part. He didn't act at all like Dutch said he did, moody and quiet. As long as Arthur was keeping most of the conversation, John spoke here and there.

"Nice enough that Arthur don't hate me."

"You gotta at least try with the kid a little, Dutch. As long as you with Arthur, I hate to break it to you but you're going to be seeing a lot of John."

Dutch sighed, more or less and admittance that Hosea was right. Hosea was usually right though, so this wasn't news to him. They kept walking in silence, Dutch's head darting left and right to get an eyeful of the displays, and how good he looked in some of the outfits. Hosea wished that he would learn how to budget better, he's never seen anyone go through so much money in such short periods of time. Dutch's favorite kind of money to burn, is money that isn't his, which is most of it. If he didn't tag along with his roommate, he was sure Dutch was going to come back with one bag of everything in the mall. It wouldn't be for a lack of trying on Dutch's part either. Dutch was either tired or distracted because Hosea only had to pry him away from two stores on the way out. A new record.

"You keep this up Dutch you ain't going to have any money to pay for your meals."

"I have it all covered, Hosea. Don't worry."

Hosea bit his lip, worrying at a piece of dead skin on it. The air was pretty dry and all the moisture was sucked right out of his lips.

"Your mama know about Arthur?"

Hosea thinks that he knows the answer to that already, but he was going to let Dutch answer anyway. He always had faith that one day Dutch would surprise him. He saw the way Dutch bristled, and his heart sank. He still held out hope.

"I'm waiting until I propose on Friday. You know my mother, she won't hear nothing about me with no one until I got a ring on their finger."

Hosea thinks that he has deja vu, like he's heard this all before. Dutch was just a little bit younger, and less facial hair then. It felt like they were doing the very same thing when he said it last too. He thought that maybe Dutch was lying, but Dutch would never lie to him and Hosea knew that full well. He never lied to Dutch either. That's why they got along so well. Well enough that Hosea decided what he was about to say was okay because he was trying to help.

"So, your ma doesn't know that you've been dating someone for two years?"

"Not a clue."

Hosea felt a little disgusted at the thought. Arthur was proud to say that he was dating Dutch. Hosea knew that Dutch loved the attention. His friend didn't seem too upset at the thought either.

"Dutch that ain't right."

"You already heard what I said. No ring, I ain't saying a thing."

"Does Arthur know?"

"No, he doesn't and he ain't about to find out. He keeping me secret from his pa too, we just have to do what we have to do."

Hosea had to be mindful that they were still in the mall, so he let it die down, the flames that were fanning between them, threatening to scorch the entire area around them if they let it get out of hand. Dutch was thankful for it and continued marching until they felt sunlight on their face. It was still hot. Still unbearable. Hosea found that somehow being silent in the heat felt worse. He unlocked the keys to his car and the two got in without so much as a struggle. When the doors closed, Hosea turned to Dutch. Dutch knew it was coming too. He could feel that whatever struck a nerve with Hosea had time to be mulled over and poured out.

"I think Arthur got different reasons for not telling his pa about you and him. You see what he comes to us looking like sometimes. It ain't right, Dutch...that boy loves you."

Dutch was quiet. Very quiet and too quiet to the point where Hosea was treading very carefully with whatever words he had to say next.

"You think I don't love him? I wouldn't want to marry him if I didn't, Hosea."

Something stabs at Hosea's inside when Dutch says that. He's full of conviction and sincere, and sincerity, Hosea learned well, does not come easy to Dutch van der Linde.

"If you loved him you would tell your ma. Maybe then you wouldn't be having to...."

"To what, Hosea?"

"You wouldn't be having to lie to her about things like this. Calling her up telling her you need two hundred dollars for books? What textbooks you need to get at the end of the semester? Just tell her it's for your dinner!"

"And then what?!"

Dutch's voice was too close to loud and Hosea clenched his jaw tight together to stop himself from flinching. He didn't know why they were mad at each other, there was no room for an argument in their outing, yet there they were. Maybe they both liked fighting over nothing.

"What then, I call her up and tell her I got a boyfriend---"

"You did it with Annabelle!"

It was then that the silence went from palpabale and fragile to dangerous. Dutch refused to look Hosea in the eye, apparently overcome with the nerve that was just struck. Hosea hated even saying the name, it tasted like cobwebs in his mouth and he wanted to spit out the dust that he dragged with invoking her name.

"Start the car now."

Dutch's voice was low and rumbly, like a cat trying to assert dominance in a back alley brawl. Hosea wasn't having any of it.

"It's my car, Dutch. You don't like it, you can walk."

"Why do you care so much, Hosea? You hardly know, Arthur!"

"I care because I can see that boy's in pain, Dutch!" Hosea forgot that his voice could be loud too. That it could be just as loud and thunderous as Dutch's. By the awesome look of surprise on his friend's face, it seemed he forgot too.

"He's got a boy to care for and a daddy that don't love him. You know that, and you know that he loves you because you ain't either of them things!"

He was making Dutch uncomfortable. He saw the way the man shifted in the seat and kept his mouth firmly shut, all possible rebuttals lost to the what-ifs of the universe. Hosea settled back in his seat, showing that he was equally as capable of being mad. The car started and then the mall seemed like a distant memory once they got on the road.

It was dead silent in the car for about five minutes before Dutch brandished the tiny box again and Hosea just wanted to toss it out of the window.

"Just you wait and see, Hosea. After this Friday, Arthur and I are gonna be engaged. You saw the way he was looking at Charles? I can't let that happen."

Hosea's jaw tightened again.

“I just want you to think about this, Dutch.”

“I have, Hosea, time and time again.”

Hosea scoffed. Dutch wasn’t the only one.

\-------

Hosea didn’t know why he was staying up this late for Dutch. He knew full well what was happening, and he was sure that he was going to come back with that massive grin on his face to let his friend know that he was on the way to becoming someone’s husband.

The door opened and Dutch wandered into the room. His jacket was shucked off and his shirt was pulled out of his pants. It was dark but Hosea could still see how disheveled he was.

“Did you guys celebrate the engagement in the back seat?”

Dutch tried to laugh but it was more of a pathetic chortle. He flopped down onto the bed.

“I wish.”

Hosea rolled over on his side to get a better look at Dutch, who was face down.

“Everything go…okay?”

Dutch humphed and kicked a leg up in the air. Hosea rolled his eyes.

“Did you do it?”

A muffled yes.

“Did he accept?”

Dutch muffled another sound of agreement. Hosea exhaled and rolled over to have his back turned to his roommate who would much rather be alone. He unlocked his phone and started typing a message to Arthur.

_Arthur! Let’s have lunch._

He pressed send and decided that he was finally going to bed. Dutch was already snoring. Hosea lulled himself to sleep staring at the photo of himself and Bessie.


	32. Chapter 32

Arthur found himself looking at the ring on his finger every time he got to a red light. The ruby on it made it all the more obnoxiously bright. He kept telling himself that he couldn't take it off, even though Dutch wasn't there anymore. First he maintained the thought that he couldn't because he was driving. Then he kept telling himself that he couldn't because it was pretty and was now the only piece of jewerly he ever owned. Finally, he settled on the fact that he couldn't possibly take it off because Dutch gave it to him. He felt like Dutch would feel it in the force or something if he took the ring off even for a shower. He wondered if the ring was real or just a really good imitation. Arthur sighed, it was most likely the former since he knew his fiance and his constant inclination to be as fancy as possible. Arthur sincerely hoped that it was just a good knockoff, he certainly wasn't worth all the money that Dutch spent on him.

He kept wondering why he wasn't happy. For the entire first year after they started dating, Arthur talked about being Dutch's husband so much that John didn't ask to sleep with him for almost a month. This is what he wanted, right? Dutch kissed him and then kissed him again and even those didn't shift his mood on the feeling. He didn't know anyone that was married except for Sadie. She's all too happy to gush about her husband and Arthur thinks that he should be the same. If this was a movie, Arthur'd be yelling into his phone excitedly with all his friends in their conference call. But he didn't have any friends, and more importantly he wasn't very happy about the engagement.

He wasn't upset, shocked, yes. The day had already started off tumultuously, and all Arthur had wanted was a nice quiet dinner with no hassle and got the exact opposite. He spent half of the dinner crying in the bathroom, Dutch's irritation weighed on him since the moment he walked into the restaurant. And then, Dutch got down on one knee and took his hand in marriage. Some part of him wished that he could tell his father. Everything about this was wrong and Arthur always told himself that when he married the love of his life, he was going to be _happy_. The very thought truly sank into Arthur's head at the time. He was going to be married.

How was he going to tell John?

That was the thought that stayed with him the entire ride back. He felt like he might as well have had a cup of the wine back then, he was somewhere in between drunk and paralyzed. He was driving purely off muscle memory and wondered if he hadn't been driving for three years would he have crashed? It made his head hurt and all he wanted to do was finish the rest of the steak he had with John and go to bed. Maybe he would ask Charles to smoke with him as compensation for putting up with the brat that he calls his brother. He really hoped that John had a good night.

He pulled up to Charles' house not soon after that silent hope bounced around in his mind. He turned the car off and tried to peer through the window to see if he could get a sneak peek before springing up on them. He saw a John-shaped silhoutte jumping up and Arthur was ready to come in there to scold him for not being polite. But then he saw Charles hobbling over, he was holding something in a bowl. John looked ecstatic at whatever was in the bowl and greedily shoved his hands in there. In no time, Arthur saw the all too familiar sight of John devouring the handful of chips he had. He let out a huff through his nose. His heart was stilled at the sight of John having what looks like a complete blast. Or, poor Charles was suffering at the hands of the gremlin disguised as a little boy. He unbuckled his seat belt and grabbed the container, leaving his car and making the trip to Charles' front steps. He knocked twice and hoped that he wasn't ruining whatever was going on in there.

Charles swung the door open, the small smile he wore on his face beamed wider at the sight of Arthur.

"Perfect timing! We were just about to have some more cake."

"Is that Arthur?"

He heard John's voice in the distance, and then the sound of incredibly fast feet. John was standing at Charles' side in a heartbeat. He was eating the last of the chips in his hand and smiling widely up at his brother, bits of the snack stuck to the corners of his mouth.

"Ain't you old enough to wipe your mouth?"

John did it, unfazed by the scolding nature of the question. His eyes honed in on the box Arthur was holding immediately. Arthur learned very young that whatever he had, John was sure to claim it as his own, or at least attempt to. Tonight was no exception, but the kid was lucky that Arthur was in the sharing mood tonight.

"What's that?"

"Filet mignon."

John's face scrunched up into something beyond bewilderment. John hadn't heard many languages besides Spanish and English, and the brothers barely spoke their own language correctly, French must have sounded like sheer nonsense to him. Arthur ruffled his hair, the glint caught Charles' eyes. Arthur saw that the smile was soon gone from his face.

"Ming-non?"

"It's just a fancy word for steak. I bought you back some."

John's eyes lit up and Arthur decided that there were few things that made him happier than the sight of his brother's happiness. He tried to grab it out of Arthur's grasp, but the teen was too old and too used to John's theiving antics. He held it out of reach.

"I will let you have some, but you gotta let me in the house, first. Deal?"

Arthur saw that John heard not a word but agreed to anything that would get him that steak faster. He stepped out of the way and let Arthur through. Charles shut the door behind them and they all made their way to the dining room. Arthur couldn't help but notice that Charles' demeanor changed when he saw the ruby ring. John was already sat at the table. There was a half-eaten box of pepperoni pizza and two cake tins resting next to the box. One had just a few slices left, and the other, slathered in green frosting and M&Ms on it, had just a meek two pieces left. Arthur made a quick note to make sure John brushed his teeth before he went to bed. John already flipped the lid up off the container, Arthur wasn't even entirely sure how he got it without him noticing. He grabbed the fork and stabbed the gourmet meat, treating it just as he would any other piece of meat in his path.

"Save me some, I only got to have one piece."

"You went to dinner and didn't even eat?"

Charles piped up from behind Arthur. He was sitting in the chair just across from John. The table was no more than a small circle big enough for the amount of people that usually ate in this house. Arthur's eyes were fixed on John making short work of the piece of steak he was eating. Charles sat and patiently waited for an answer. Arthur's fingers kept going to the ring that was uncomfortably sitting on his finger. He shook his head.

"Weren't much time for eating, I guess."

Charles sighed.

"How was your dinner, Arthur?"

It really shouldn't have been a big deal. But for some reason, trying to tell Charles the good news made Arthur clam up, and the lump in his throat blocked any room for words to come out. He just humphed. He could already see the ring, even now, Arthur could feel the way Charles' eyes were boring into the gold and red that was to be a symbol of Arthur and Dutch's reunion.

"The food took a long time to come."

Charles relented, and breathed something akin to a laugh, but it didn't have any humor in it.

"Seems like a nice enough night then. How are you feeling?"

Arthur didn't know if this stilted conversation they were having had to do with the unspoken engagement, or because John was in the room, but he was becoming very sure very quickly that he didn't want to talk about it anymore. At least, not until he knew what to say about it. He could tell the whole world that he was a feller about to be married, but at the end of the day, if he couldn't answer that very important leading question of  "how do you feel" then what was the point of speaking about it at all? Certainly not to Charles.

"I suppose I feel like every night just this time I got fancy steak."

He saw John take another large bite of the food and winced.

"At least, I think I got some steak out of it. John will you stop eating it!"

John's mouth was covered in the grease from the beef. He halted mid bite when he heard Arthur say that. He chewed and swallowed, and then took one more bite before leaving it alone.

"I'm hungry, Arthur!"

"I'm sure Charles ain't let you starve, and just one look in this kitchen I can see you been well-fed."

Arthur looked down to the slice of pizza peeking out of the half-closed box and pulled it up. He took a piece and all it did was remind him that he was starving. He tossed the salad, so he didn't have any sides. The pizza was delicious, even when luke-warm. Charles hummed and drummed his fingers on the table. John, unaware of the awkward tension in the room, started talking.

"You want to know what we did today?"

Arthur, thankful for the distraction, leapt at the chance to respond immediately.

"You mean you did something else that weren't eating Charles out of house and home?"

This time he let himself look over at Charles and saw that the man was still somewhat dazed, but still half in the conversation. John shook his head, completely offended by the question.

"Charles ate more slices of pizza than me!"

Arthur, attempted to look shocked by this piece of news, and his attention turned solely onto Charles, who was able to look as scandalized as possible.

"I haven't had pizza in a while and I admit I got bit...wild."

"That's okay, Charles, I ate most of the cake!"

Charles' brows rose up at the memory he had of John scarfing down that incredibly inedible looking cake with glee. Arthur hid his laugh behind a fist. It was nice that someone finally got to see a glimpse of what raising John might have been.

"You ate most of the cake, some of the cake I made, four slices of pizza, and a decent portion of Arthur's steak. I think you just have to give your body time to digest."

John pouted and crossed his arms. Not happy that there was now two against one. Arthur, however, appreciated it very much. He sat back in his chair, his face filled with satisifcation at having help for once.

"You about to go to sleep anyway, John, your stomach ain't supposed to have all that food in it right before bed."

John looked like he so very badly wanted to say something, but he was outmanned and he knew it. He was a smart kid and backed down, as best he could, when he knew he could be beat. Arthur just wished he stopped trying to get himself into fights all the time. John groaned loudly.

"But I'm hungry!"

Arthur, becoming very tired of John's whining, interjected quickly, "John I said that's enough."

Lyle was a very loud person. He shouted whenever he spoke and his voice always carried as far as the wind could take it. Arthur swore that sometimes he could hear his dad shout his name three blocks away. John, however, doesn't react very well to loud voices. It makes him flustered and angry. Arthur always tries to keep his voice level. When John gets particularly out of hand though, he makes his voice firm. It sounds just a bit louder than his regular talking volume, and John got the message. He very rarely had to do it, but tonight John was fueled with gasoline made of pizza grease and sugar.

But John learned that Arthur never really could refuse him. He let out a sigh, his hand absently twirling the ring around on his finger, carefully hidden from John.

"If you still hungry by the time we get settled for bed, then I'll make you a bowl of cereal."

John still frowned, but lessened knowing that he could still get a late night snack out of this. He nodded his head reluctantly.

"Okay."

Arthur smiled at him, and then rose from his chair, finishing off the rest of the pizza in a few short bites. He thought about taking another slice. He really was starving, having not eaten anything since the early afternoon. John ate just about all the steak, he only had a few precious bites left. Arthur tried not be upset about it. He lazily patted at the boy's head, and then pushed it a little in a tired show of playfulness. John swiftly returned a punch to his brother's hip bone. Arthur spun around and was about ready to throw down right there, but then remembered that Charles was still watching.

"Come on, it's already late and you got homework to do."

John sucked his teeth at the comment. Arthur squeezed his shoulder twice.

"But it's Saturday..."

"I don't care what day it is, you got to do your homework, John. Else you won't pass and you have to repeat the grade again. You want to have Miss Grimshaw for a second year?"

John's face recoiled. He wasn't a bad student really, but there was something about Miss Grimshaw's class that made John absolutely feral. He thinks that it has something to do with Lenny and Sean being in that class, but then again, he remembered when he had her for a teacher. She meant well but lord could that lady boss you right into your grave. Charles laughed at John's response, also reminiscing on the times that he got chastised by her.

"Well then you got to do your work! And the way I figure it, the earlier you do it the more time you got to do...whatever you consider entertaining."

"Can I come here tomorrow then?"

Arthur's brows shot up and he looked over at Charles, who looked equally as shocked to hear the request. He nodded, the look of surprise slowly wearing off.

"Sure. If it's okay with, Arthur..."

Instantly, Arthur replied, "It's fine! I guess it's...fine!"

Charles looked glad to hear it, John did too.

"You know he got a Playstation _and_ an Xbox?"

Arthur, both trying to show an interest in John's conversation and genuinely intrigued by that question, let out a quick gasp.

"Really? Which one you played?"

"Both of them!"

Charles nodded and gestured toward the boy.

"And he's pretty good too."

John bowed as thanks for the compliment. Arthur turned to say a few departing words to Charles, when John seized out of his chair and grabbed his hand to rush him to the door. Arthur didn't have enough time to react, to tell John not to grab _that_ hand. The next thing he knew, John was staring at the ring.

"This ring weren't here before, Arthur."

Arthur wasn't really sure how to respond to that. He looked down at the ring and then back at his betrayed brother.

"Well...you see, Dutch, he....well he---"

Sometimes Arthur hated that John was such a smart kid, because then there were moments like this where he didn't need to actually say the thing out loud but John still understood and it made Arthur feel worse.

"You gonna marry him?"

John wasn't really looking for an answer, and just like in the restaurant, Arthur wasn't given enough time to respond.  Arthur's lack thereof was the same thing as a yes and in an instant, John's face scrunched into a look of anger that he never seen before. Arthur felt his hand being thrown down harshly, John pointed at him.

"I hate you!"

He went running out the door before Arthur could say anything more than the first three letters of his name. The door was swung open. The teen turned to Charles, who started reaching for his crutches to make his way over to him.

"I can go talk to him."

"That's alright, I can handle it."

If John hadn't bolted to their house, Arthur would've considered letting Charles help him console John. He didn't have a clue what to do or what to say, but he couldn't let Charles and Lyle meet under any circumstances. He's already had his fill of anymore fighting.

"Are you sure?"

Arthur wanted to say yes. It was always his knee-jerk reaction. He was fine, he was always supposed to be fine. Today he didn't think he really was. He shrugged.

"I really ain't too sure, Charles. You planning on staying up tonight?"

"If it's you, sure."

Arthur's mouth quirked up before he could stop himself.

"I'll text you, okay?"

Charles smiled and nodded.

"Okay."


	33. Chapter 33

John didn’t wake Lyle up, and that was the best his day had gone. Their front door was wide open, when he turned around to close it, his eyes glanced over to Charles. He wasn’t standing outside watching them like before. Maybe he went to bed after all. Lyle was sprawled out in his armchair, the TV’s warning that it was going to turn off in five minutes was blinking green in his sleeping father’s face. Arthur reckoned that his father could put a bear to shame with the way he snores. He bent looked in the kitchen. John wasn’t in there and he needed to do the dishes. He sighed and managed to trudge his heavy body to the top of the stairs. John’s door was cracked open, and he could hear the soft sniffles that broke the silence throughout the house.

Arthur saw that John’s bag was thrown against the wall in the hallway. He bent down to pick it up, wiping the imaginary dust particles off of it. John sobbed and the noise broke Arthur’s heart. He knocked gently twice. John didn’t say anything, but since he didn’t tell him to get out either, he was just going to take his chances. The little lump under the covers that was his brother shivered and curled in on himself. Arthur slid his shoes off, easing his way over to the boy.

“John.”

His voice was careful, he felt like any louder and the walls were going to come crashing down on them. John didn’t respond, he pulled the covers even closer under his head. Arthur took this chance to sit on the edge of the bed. He rested a hand on what he thought and hoped was John’s hip. He patted it gently. John instantly recoiled from him and shuffled further from his touch.

“Go away!”

“I ain’t about to leave you when you got yourself all worked up like this. I’ll stay right here until you ready to talk. Okay?”

“I don’t want you stay here though! I want you to get out!”

Arthur did everything but birth John himself. He’s seen just about every mood John had to offer in his eleven years of being alive. He’s seen the boy range from angelic angel to demon sent from Hell itself. But there was something about the way John’s voice was raised but choppy from the tears he cried. John’s never really liked to cry, and especially not in front of Arthur. The oldest brother wasn’t quite sure why he was like that, and he’s always told him that he’s seen John cry lots of times when he was a small child. John always countered that he was _grown_ and that grown folks don’t cry. Arthur never fought him anymore on the topic but he wished that he told him that statement simply wasn’t true. He wanted to tell John that he cried too; that he’s seen Dutch cry once, and Hosea when Bessie got sick. He’s seen Charles cry once when they were kids. What would have been shocking most of all to his brother was that Arthur’s also seen Lyle cry. It was just the once, and it was after his mother died. Lyle shoved him to the ground when he saw that Arthur was peeping on him.

But John sounded betrayed, and what’s more _he_ was responsible for the betrayal, wasn’t he? He never asked John if it would be okay to marry Dutch, hell, he never really asked John if he was okay with Arthur dating him. Of course Arthur would have dated him anyway, but at least knowing that John felt included and safe would have made him feel so much better.

This sight in front of him, he reckoned he never wanted to see it again.

John let out a particularly heart-wrenching set of sobs, and Arthur just couldn’t sit idle anymore. He slipped his body under the covers and soon felt the wrath of John’s gangly limbs kicking and punching at him. Arthur tried to evade as many of the blows as possible while he scooped John up in a hug. John was furiously pulling way at him, face shiny and covered in tears and snot. He kissed the angry boy twice on the top of his head and swayed slowly while he waited for John to simmer down. Arthur fought a smile at how quickly John seemed to give in. He had a long day and a lot of food, he wondered how much of this was fueled by his little brother’s exhaustion.

“Let go of me, Arthur!”

“No.”

John gained a second wind and tried to squirm his way out of Arthur’s massive arms and failed again. Arthur could hear the sheer frustration in his cries as he felt the front of his shirt grow wet from the fresh batch of tears.

“Can I talk to you?”

John remained silent. Arthur sighed, but his hold on his brother didn’t lessen. His mouth was pressed into John’s head as he tried to find the words to say. John already knew the gist of it, what more was there to say?

Arthur was too slow in his follow-up, however, John spoke instead.

“Arthur, I want you to leave!”

John spoke with such an air of finality that Arthur couldn’t even hum a response. He felt his arms go slack just a touch and soon John was roughly pushing them off himself and huddling back over into the crying blanket burrito he was in before. There wasn’t any more crying, just intense and painful silence. Arthur felt that if he even breathed too loudly, that silence would shatter like glass and slice him all over.

“Dutch and I---”

“Shut up and get out of my room! Now!”

His voice was raising and it was in their best interest not to let their fight get so out of hand that Lyle would insert himself, despite practically being comatose. Arthur decidedly quickly to drop it there. He wasn’t going to say anything anymore, and John was going to be left alone just like he always wanted. He pressed a kiss to the top of the blanket lump and moved to get his shoes. He opened the door and turned around to give his brother one last look before retreating to his own room.

He threw his things down, and stripped down until he was naked. He grabbed his towel and made a beeline for the bathroom. He just wanted to take a nice hot shower and feel good about himself for a change. At least, just for the night. The water burned his back when he first stepped in, but then the water trickled down from his now sopping wet hair and he was focused on pushing the hair out of his face. He was quiet in the shower. Eerily quiet, even for his standards. He would sometimes sing and hum a tune to himself, or spend an hour thinking about all the interview questions he would answer when he was a celebrity. Lyle would come in and shut the water off if he thought Arthur was using too much of it, then grumble something about paying bills before walking off.

He didn’t feel much like making noise tonight anyway.

Arthur rubbed at the finger that once wore Dutch’s ring. He took it off because he didn’t want it to get wet, and he figured there had to be limits to how long he was supposed to wear the damn thing. He thought about John crying in the next room and his heart ached. He thought about Charles and how something changed in him when he saw Arthur’s ring. He looked disappointed, Arthur figured was the word, and he hadn’t a clue why. Did Charles also entertain the thought that Arthur would remain unmarried his entire life like the rest of their classmates? He couldn’t blame him really. If everyone was thinking it and talking about it, even Charles wasn’t immune to believing the gossip.

He couldn’t say that it didn’t hurt to think that though. Charles was the kindest to him that anyone’s ever been, even now, even after they spent so long apart. He wonders what would have been if Charles didn’t leave during first grade. No one knew why he left at first, all they were told by the teacher was that Charles was moving and wouldn’t be attending the school anymore. No one really cared. No one except a very young and lonely Arthur. He cried in the bathroom first, during recess. Some of the boys snickered if they heard him because boys don’t cry according to them. And when playtime was over, he took his seat next to Charles and rubbed at his swollen, puffy cheeks in a sorry attempt to clean himself up. Charles knew he was crying, he always used to know when Arthur wasn’t himself. Charles didn’t ask him until class was over and all the students were busy with their work and talking amongst each other.

Arthur didn’t say anything then. So then the end of the day came, and Arthur remembered feeling scared all of a sudden. He could still remember the terrible thumping of his heart when he saw Charles climbing into his dad’s car. In that moment he became afraid that he would never see Charles again after he drove away. He ran over to his best and only friend and he sobbed into his chest, soaking his shirt through and wailing about how he didn’t want him to leave.

He’ll never forget the way Charles hugged him and told him that he would be the first to know the day he leaves. Arthur has a memory of himself crying the day he moved away too. He was beside himself and something in his heart just wasn’t quite the same after.

But then he came back just before they started fourth grade. Charles seemed different to him when they met again. He was quieter, tried to keep to himself more often. He turned down invites to parties and sleepovers, and spent most of his time after school doing homework or helping the teachers. Arthur had his hands full with a three-year-old John so there wasn’t much time for him to hang out with Charles when he stayed behind. Charles wanted to spend time with him the most after he came back. Arthur feels guilt twitch in him as he thinks about the times where Charles asked him out and he had to decline because who was going to take care of John? Charles tried one more time, Arthur remembered. He tried one last time to get him to go to the movies. Arthur can still see the expression Charles wore when he was rejected yet again. He was surprised that Charles still paid him any mind after that, but even though Arthur was ten at the time, he could tell that Charles didn’t quite shake that hurt off. They spoke less after that, but it was mostly because things were its most chaotic at Arthur’s house and he really didn’t want to involve Charles in it. He still didn’t now. It wasn’t long after that Arthur started dating Mary. He thought that she was the balm for his soul when he met her and he fell head over heels. They were so young, too young to be dating. She was his first kiss, and he was hers. Every moment they spent together made Arthur feel like the world could be okay. She didn’t even mind when he had to bring John on their dates. Arthur thinks that maybe they still would be together now if Mary’s father didn’t hate his guts.

He knew Lyle Morgan well. And just like everyone who knew his father knew that any spawn of his was just as bad. Her father would always rush her in the house if Arthur took too long to say bye to her after walking her home. The few times they’ve spoken to each other, Papa Gillis would always make it his mission to say at least one hurtful thing to Arthur. His personal favorite was taking potshots at how poor they were. Mary only attended Arthur’s school for one year. Her father didn’t want her to graduate from a public school so she was whisked away to a private one. They tried to keep in contact, they tried to stay together. But they were children, and children were powerless when it came to their parents. And so the summer before he started seventh grade, Mary came to him at his house, she met him outside. She didn’t look him in the eye the entire time when she told him that they couldn’t be together anymore.

First she said that the long distance wasn’t what she wanted. Then she said that she was going abroad after she graduated and she didn’t want Arthur to deal with that. But Arthur knew better, he can still see the way her silent tears rolled down her plump cheeks and the way her fists were clenched. She wore the blue sundress he scrounged the money up to buy her for her birthday. Arthur didn’t understand. She might as well have been speaking a different language. She gave him back the neckerchief he gave her. He kept asking her why, he repeated it over and over again until she couldn’t hear it one more time and so she told him the truth. Her father didn’t allow it. So Arthur let her go then, and he started the school year heartbroken and empty. He moved on because John needed him and she was long gone anyway.

Then he met Albert in the ninth grade. Albert was the first boy he’d been with. He helped Arthur heal as the broken and battered freshman he was. High school was daunting, and it would’ve been scarier alone. Charles was around but just barely, he already had some friend groups and every so often he would sit and chat with Arthur, but they were both busy people and life got in the way. For the first part of their relationship, Arthur hesitated to admit that he loved Albert. He told him just before Albert asked him to help photographing the wolves. Albert kissed him and responded with glee and Arthur thought that maybe he could open his heart again. But Albert was older than him, and Arthur didn’t really know how to deal with that. His ex-boyfriend would always talk at length about he was going to leave for New York and sell his photos. Arthur loved seeing the way Albert lit up when he talked about his passion for photos, but somewhere along the way Arthur noticed that those plans didn’t really leave much room for him. They fought sometimes, about what Albert was going to do when he went to New York, if they were even going to be together. Arthur realizes now that he was rehashing the hurt that Mary gave him. The fears and insecurities she left him on that sweltering summer’s day. Arthur didn’t know who had enough first but they didn’t last much longer. The last time they had sex, Albert cried. He too left Arthur and soon after that Arthur had to drop out of school to feed his brother. Arthur cried everyday he started working there. He cried on all his breaks and whenever he had even the slightest moment to himself. Even Pearson would try to cheer him up by giving free happy meals for John, or giving him longer breaks. It didn’t work for Arthur, and he remained miserable.

Arthur grabbed the soap from the rack and started lathering his body, the bubbles becoming thick and sudsy as he scrubbed.

He was having a particularly bad day when he met Dutch.

Some old classmates came and mocked him the entire time they ate. They gave him a hard time while they were ordering, spilled drinks to watch him clean it up, and a few of them literally just came to laugh in his face. It all had become too much for him so he sat in an empty booth and cried. Arthur can hear his voice almost perfectly if he closed his eyes. He rinses his arm off and rubs at the clean skin. Then he thinks about when Dutch fucked him in the shower. Dutch was always impressive. Just like that day.

“Excuse me?”

Arthur smiles now at the way he was so irritated to have his crying session interrupted. The shower droplets feel similar to the tears he cried too. It was almost like he was there again.

“I’m on break.”

That usually worked for customers he didn’t want to deal with. Dutch, however didn’t take the bait. He just smirked and held his hand out, gesturing towards the empty seat across from Arthur.

“Mind if I sit with you for a bit?”

And if Dutch had caught Arthur at any other moment, there was a slight chance he would’ve declined the offer. But all he wanted was company that day and he had so little of it, if a stranger was willing to be around him, he would take it. Arthur let him sit and from there, the rest is history. He fell for Dutch faster than he did Mary and it surprised and scared him when he first realized it. It didn’t take long for them to start dating; nearly a week after they met. It was Dutch’s idea, Arthur always did think that Dutch had fine ideas. Sometimes.

Like tonight.

Dutch had gone out and bought a ring and decided that Arthur was good enough to marry. Arthur was glad, grateful even to be thought of so highly by him. Just before they started dating Arthur wanted so bad to impress him. He strove to be the perfect boyfriend to him and to do any less was a slap in the face to his fiancé. Dutch was good to him, kind, loving, honest. Dutch didn’t mind that he was poor, that he didn’t know a lot of things about the world, that he was a drop-out. No one else ever did that for him before, and he loved Dutch for it. And soon they’re going to be married and from there, Arthur can be happy. Right?

Arthur pushed the showerhead away from his face so that it was splashing off his feet. He slid down slowly, his wet skin catching on the tiled wall on the way down. He hugged his knees to his chest.

There were sometimes Arthur wished that he accepted that date with Charles. What would’ve happened if they went to the movies? Would they be together instead, or would Charles just become like the ones he loved before?

He heard John sniffle again. Thinking about it all made his head hurt and he didn’t know what else to do. So he cried too.


	34. Chapter 34

Arthur managed to pick himself up and make it to his bed to finish his nightly ritual of being sad. He found that the salt from his tears made his skin look good. Dutch certainly loved it.

He crept back into John’s room after he was washed and dried off. John was fast asleep and Arthur managed to tuck him in proper and give him a kiss on the head. He hoped more than anything that John would be willing to hear him out in the morning. He really didn’t know what he’d do if his little brother stopped talking to him. He couldn’t do anything more about it, and decided to leave it to chance.

What he did know he was going to do next was smoke the fattest bowl he could before going to bed. But he didn’t really want to be alone while he did it either. Arthur walked over to his bed and checked his phone. He had a new message from Hosea, and one from Charles not too long before he got in the shower. Arthur never really liked leaving people’s messages unread for long, because he didn’t want anyone to worry or think that he was ignoring them. There weren’t very many people that wanted to text him in the first place, so the select few that do were special to him.

_Arthur! Let’s have lunch._

Arthur’s fingers flew fast over the keyboard responding to Hosea. He always liked Hosea since the moment they met. He was kind and he was smart, and he tended to be good to Arthur in ways that Dutch still had to work on. He was very fond of his fiance’s friend, and he was glad that Hosea at least tolerated him enough to reach out.

_Sure. I’ll text you when I’m free this week, if you ain’t too busy._

It was pretty late and Arthur learned pretty quickly Hosea preferred to be in bed no later than ten, unless he was out at a party. He closed out the message window and went to Charles’ chat box.

_John calmed down yet?_

Arthur sighed, thinking about the boy and how he was probably going to have a bad dream since he went to bed upset. Arthur always tried his hardest to make sure that he never went to bed upset. Just like everything else he managed to fail doing that too. Maybe there was some truth to Lyle’s words after all. Maybe he was a fool for daring to think any differently. He typed his response.

_He went to straight to bed. Didn’t even ask about the bowl of cereal._

He was just about to set his phone down when he saw Charles’ text bubble pop up.

_Damn. Do you think he’ll be okay in the morning?_

_Idk really. I’ll let him cool down some before I start talking about it again._

Charles’ bubble didn’t come up again and Arthur waited a good minute or two before he came to the conclusion that maybe he fell asleep. Arthur was just about to put his phone to charge and pack his bowl before he had to go to bed when he saw a message pop-up.

_Are you okay?_

Arthur started typing a response saying his usual “I’m fine, really” but it didn’t feel right this time. He wasn’t someone that was above lying, and he was far from honest with a lot of people but he didn’t want to lie to Charles. He felt uncomfortable and restless thinking about the events of the night and how he handled it. How he could have handled it, too. Charles listened to him before, maybe he would be okay with doing it again. He deleted the first message and started typing in his new one.

_Not really. Do you want to smoke?_

Arthur couldn’t help but chuckle at Charles’ immediate reply at the offer of smoking.

_You want me to roll?_

_No, lol. I have a bowl, and you don’t have to put in, it’s on me ; )_

Arthur felt naughty putting that emoji. It was one that he only really used mostly with Dutch. What would Dutch think about that? He probably wouldn’t be happy, for starters. But now wasn’t the time to think about it.

_I’m packing the second one. You okay with leaving your house?_

Arthur’s heart began beating in that terrible rhythm that he knew only as that dreaded anxiety that plagued more times than he could count and for as long as he remembered. He could leave the house, but John was here and he would be alone if Arthur left. John hated being alone more than anything and there was the chance that John would wake up and look for Arthur. That would be another thing for John to hold against him in the morning too. Maybe he was making a mistake of trying to do this. He couldn’t do that to John.

_John’s asleep. I can’t leave him alone._

He saw Charles’ message bubble opening and then closing as he was trying to find the words to respond with. Arthur could feel his heart sink at the sight. He turned Charles down again; he wondered how many more times Charles would try before he gave up on him for good. His phone vibrated.

_We can sit on my porch. I got a pretty good view of your house.  
I promise I’m not a creep, lmao. _

That was a decent idea. Arthur left the house when he was smoking. It would be sort of the same thing if he smoked on Charles’ porch. He was beginning to feel hope again. Charles messaged him again.

_I won’t let anything happen to John, Arthur. We can watch the house together : )_

And just as Charles had done since they were kids, he found some way to make it all okay again. He smiled as he typed his agreement, and said that he would be outside in a few minutes.

_Just head outside, I’ll be over real soon!_

Charles read it, Arthur didn’t really need him to respond but if he wanted to that would be nice. Arthur packed the bowl and saw no new messages. He checked on John one more time before heading downstairs and leaving. It felt so strange to him. Sure he was only going across the street, but to him, that’s the farthest he’s ever gone at night. Come night time, Arthur’s only and main concern was John and getting him to bed with as little fuss as possible, and he usually had work the next morning so he needed all the rest he could get. He felt a little bit of a thrill stepping over the sidewalk that passed the front of his house. He could see Charles already sitting on the steps, Copper resting his soft head in his owner’s lap, also eagerly awaiting Arthur’s arrival going by the wag of his tail. Charles waved once Arthur was close enough.

“Glad you could make it.”

Arthur was half amused and half flustered by the joke. It was harmless, and he knew it.

“I’m real sorry Charles, but I can’t leave John for long and as much as I want to spend the whole night smoking with you, I gotta---”

Arthur felt Charles’ hand rest on his own. He was too red in the face to make eye contact. His hand was warm.

“I hear you, Arthur. Don’t worry, I won’t keep you and like I said, we’ll both work to keep an eye on John okay? I already saved him once.”

Charles laughed, Arthur’s eyes darted to the cast. He could see his drawing clear as day. John’s too.

“Me and John real thankful for it.”

Charles sighed and nodded. Arthur moved to light the bowl. He took a hefty puff out of it, and tried to stifle his cough. He was trying to impress Charles but his lungs weren’t ready for that. Charles was nice about it and patted him on the back before taking the bowl and taking a hit himself. His cloud was large and puffy and resembled a cotton ball. Arthur was mesmerized by the silhouette of Charles smoking on his front steps with the golden hued lights that peeked through his curtains inside his home. If Arthur had his journal he would sketch him right then and there.

“Here.”

Arthur hadn’t realized that the bowl was being passed back. He muttered his thanks and took two slow pulls off until his lungs were filled. He did better this time on the exhale.

“You learned that by watching me just now?”

Arthur laughed and passed it back to him. He took note at how many pulls were left in it. There were about five left if the two of them went easy. He shook his head and turned towards his house.

“Nah, I were staring for…other reasons.”

Charles’ eyebrow perked up, a sign that he was getting high. Charles was a lot more emotive with his face when he was stoned. Arthur kind of liked it.

“Reasons being…”

Arthur took a longer puff and realized that he was high enough to spill the beans. He was hanging out with Charles because he wanted to be honest. He had to keep it going. Charles was a good man, and he could at least try to emulate something like that when he was around.

“I were thinking about if I drew you. Right now.”

Charles passed the bowl back. Arthur held it but wasn’t too focused on it now, the first few pulls he took were working their magic at this point and he wasn’t really sure if he could finish the whole bowl. Charles had a higher tolerance, he could if he wanted to.

“Drew me? What smoking a bowl like one of your French girls?”

Charles thought that was funny but Arthur didn’t have the foggiest idea of what he was talking about. When Charles saw that his smoke buddy wasn’t laughing it was his turn to look confused.

“You ever seen Titanic?”

Arthur shook his head slowly, and he lit the bowl as he pulled.

“Is that a movie?”

Charles sputtered and then started laughing. Arthur flashed him his sternest face and was glad that it worked. Charles coughed and acted like he was clearing his throat.

“It’s a movie from the 90s. It had Leonardo DiCaprio and Kate Winslet? It was about the boat that sank like a hundred years ago.”

It was embarrassing to be questioned by Charles like that. He knew that the teen wasn’t doing it to be obnoxious or teasing, but he really didn’t know what that was and whatever Charles was saying wasn’t helping. He never got to watch much television, and the things that he did watch were mainly what his father left on whenever he was passed out. He doesn’t get to go to the movies either because those cost money that he sadly doesn’t have.

Charles patted him on the shoulder.

“Hey! Don’t worry about it! There are plenty of people in the world that haven’t seen that movie.”

Arthur took one last hit and quickly passed it to Charles.

“Ain’t much but one hit left if you want it.”

Charles cleared it and tapped the bowl against the stairs until a ball of ash fell out. He handed the bowl back to Arthur who pocketed it safely. Arthur didn’t really feel like getting up and leaving at the moment. He felt calm, relaxed, and he had the company that he was longing for all day.

“We can watch it, if you want.”

Arthur’s head whipped around.

“What?”

Charles spoke this time with a little more confidence.

“You can come to my house if you want, John’s always welcomed too. We can have a…I don’t know a movie night or something. I got some old discs that I haven’t watched in years. You two can even stay if we all get too tired.”

Arthur could hardly believe it. Charles’ persistence always took Arthur’s breath away time and time again.

“Charles Smith, are you inviting me to a sleepover?”

Charles looked away and started patting Copper as a means of distraction. Arthur cracked a smile and attempted to stifle a giggle at his friend’s sudden bashfulness.

“Well…it’s not…not if you don’t _want_ it to be that but…yes.”

Arthur’s brain immediately flew to Lyle and how well he wouldn’t respond to his boys not staying in his house for the whole night. It would make him paranoid and frantic, not knowing where his sons were. Arthur always kept in the back of his mind that Lyle would probably think they would tell the law about him first chance they got away. He was only half right.

Lyle would find something to be mad about when it came to Arthur. It was almost like Lyle would keel over if he didn’t lob some insult or another at him whenever he came into contact with him. If it wasn’t spending the night across the street or going to the supermarket without telling him first, there was always something and quite frankly Arthur was so used to the feeling that he was almost numb to it.

Charles looked sad, like he could hear the rejection coming out of Arthur’s mouth once again and that’s not what Arthur wanted. Not this time. He was getting married soon, he wouldn’t have much free time after that, would he? He’d be living with Dutch then, and he’d be hard pressed to get away from Dutch’s watchful eye too sometimes. Charles wanted to hang out with him and he always said no. He took a deep breath and swallowed the lump in his throat.

“Charles.”

Lyle would get him anyway. He’d still be with John at least. He was eighteen and no one ever invited him to anything. He felt that if he rejected another invitation from Charles and anybody else he was going to combust. He was still a teenager, he could still do things like this too.

Charles looked up at him, his eyes big, brown and glossy. The moon reflected in it like two crescents. Even Copper propped an ear up.

“I’d love to have movie night with you.”

Charles smiled a smile so nice to Arthur that his heart panged again at the drawing that could have been tonight. They fell into relative, comfortable silence again. Arthur pawed at the bowl in his pocket, Copper’s steady panting helped his heart keep a steady beat. Charles was still facing Arthur’s house, he didn’t take his eyes off of it for a second. But then Arthur caught him as his eyes flicked to his ring finger and then quickly back to the house again. Arthur looked down at his bare finger and placed his other hand on top of it.

“I don’t got it on.”

Charles looked hardly surprised when Arthur knew what he was thinking. It was an old habit.

“…Why?”

The betrothed in question sighed. What was he supposed to say? It’s not that he didn’t want to marry, Dutch…or was that exactly the problem?

“I took a shower. That’s all.”

There was a cautious air about the two of them once the topic of Arthur’s engagement came up yet again. What was it about the whole ordeal that made Charles clam up like this? He already knew that Arthur had a boyfriend, is it really so surprising to see that someone loves him enough to marry him? He already had trouble accepting that on his own.

Arthur saw Charles fidget in his peripheral before he heard the sound of metal scraping together. He turned his head and saw Charles turning his grinder.

“You want to smoke another one?”

Charles, as cool as he could shrugged and then nodded, before holding his hand out for Arthur’s bowl. Arthur gave it to him and he started carefully packing on the edge of the side walk. Arthur couldn’t believe that he was so precise with it.

“I think we need this tonight. You mostly.”

Arthur could only manage a weak smile, even though it was missed by the intended audience. Charles finished packing and just as quickly lit the bowl. Arthur couldn’t help but be impressed by the show.

“I look that bad?”

“You look like you been crying and…doesn’t make me feel that good.”

That sounded a lot like something Dutch would say. Arthur took the bowl and pulled for as long as he could take it. When he felt the heat from the weed settle in his lungs he exhaled and felt something like a dragon.

“I ain’t mean to make you uncomfortable…”

“I didn’t say that.”

Arthur finished his second exhale before passing it back to Charles, who let it sit in his hand while he faced Arthur. His eyelids were lower.

“What are you trying to say then?”

Charles broke eye contact and took a desperate inhale. His cheeks were puffed out for a moment before he released the smoke and watched it dissipate in the night time air.

 “You weren’t smiling tonight.”

“Charles what are you on about?”

The teen just sighed and started stroking behind Copper’s ears. Arthur waited patiently for him to gather his thoughts. He knew the feeling all too well.

“I…you know I don’t like seeing you upset, Arthur.”

Arthur’s mouth went slack at the statement. He stayed silent.

“Listen, it ain’t my business and I’ll…I’ll accept whatever you tell me but…can I ask you something, Arthur?”

They hadn’t been together like this in a while. Just the two of them, not since John was born at least. Arthur had always kept that special ache in the back of his heart all these years, but it was being with Charles like he was that made him remember just how much he truly missed it. Charles was only ever really like this with him.

“Sure you can.”

If the question were something you could feel, Arthur would wager that it felt like needles digging into Charles’ heart just by watching the way he squirmed. Charles never hesitated and that’s what made him so popular with all the other kids. He was always sure and it was something to be inspired and envious of. Charles was one of the bravest men he knew. It almost unsettled Arthur to see him like this. What did he do?  

“Are you happy?”

Arthur tried to force a chuckle, but all it did was make his eyes watery.

“Happy?”

“With Dutch. About Dutch. Are you happy you’re marrying him?”

And there it was again. Arthur felt his throat close up and his hands start to get clammy. Charles relit the bowl and took several hits before passing it to Arthur, who was more than glad to toke. Arthur finished the bit that was left and then ashed it, pocketing it again for a final time. He hadn’t been this high since he first smoked. He wished he wasn’t a breath away from crying or else he would’ve enjoyed it more. He been away from the house a long time, he had to go to bed. Arthur started wiping away the dirt from his jeans and moved to get up. Charles didn’t budge.

“Charles, look, I got to…you know I gotta go check on John. I been out the house too long and—”

“It’s okay, Arthur. I’m sorry I…I pushed too hard.”

“You ain’t do nothing wrong. I weren’t in the best mood when I texted you, if anything it’s my fault for making all this your problem.”

Arthur held his hand out for Charles to grab so that he could stand upright again. He helped gather his crutches. Copper yawned and lazily wagged his tail, eager to go back inside to his bed no doubt.

“You’re never a problem.”

Arthur smirked despite himself and started walking towards his house. Just as he hit the street, Charles called out, “You’re still going to spend the night?”

Arthur nodded.

“I’ll see you tomorrow, Charles.”

Just like he’d done before, Arthur caught Charles waiting till he was inside first to retreat to his own home for the night. Arthur laid in bed and managed to let the weed work his mind and usher him to sleep.


	35. Chapter 35

It was weird waking up in his own bed again. He’d been sleeping with John for so many nights that it just felt natural to him. They didn’t get to read again either and at this point, Arthur doubted John ever actually finishing it before the school year ended.

He was worried about John, actually. Arthur didn’t set an alarm, it was rare but it did happen on nights he was just too tired and passed out the moment his head hit a pillow. John would wake him up on time though, it was a duty that the boy created himself. He didn’t come to wake him up today, and Arthur knew that he was still upset with him. The teen made his way over to the boy’s room and saw that there was no one there. He could hear the cabinet doors opening and closing downstairs.

It sure as hell wasn’t their father because he’d rather scream the house down until Arthur showed up and then demanded him to make breakfast. John probably went to bed hungry and Arthur could only imagine the mess he was about to walk into. He huffed and started marching down the stairs until his little brother was in his view. John was standing on a chair, rummaging through the dishes that were neatly stacked. He already got his sugary cereal of choice down from off the cabinet’s top. How long was he up?

“Morning, John.”

John didn’t even bat an eye. Arthur cleared his throat and tried again.

“You ain’t hear me? Good morning.”

Arthur wasn’t sure what hurt worse, the blatant ignoring or the intention behind it. He didn’t put the ring on still. John got the bowl and made his way down to ground level. He smiled at himself triumphantly before going to the fridge to get the milk. Arthur walked over to the table, knowing that John obeyed the ‘no eating in bed’ rule well. He got a mouse one time and he didn’t sleep in his own bed for a month.

John slammed the bowl down and Arthur bit his tongue in an effort to not scold him. It was the last thing that needed to happen and he really didn’t want to escalate it more than it was already. He poured the cereal in nearly to the brim. Arthur couldn’t help himself this time.

“That’s too much, pour some back.”

John stopped, but didn’t pour any of the excess out of the bowl. Arthur didn’t like that much.

“John Marston I am talking to you.”

John, in an instant slammed the box of cereal down in an effort to stand up to his big brother. He stared directly into Arthur’s eyes, he could see them getting glassy.

“Why don’t you go talk to Dutch?!”

The outburst certainly came at a surprise to the older boy, but he couldn’t bring himself to say anything in defense and watched with a stunned silence as John finished making his bowl of cereal and ate as if it were nothing more than a normal morning. Arthur, wasn’t quite sure of what to do with himself. He wanted to leave. Just get up, and keep going about his morning until John was ready to go to school, but Lyle was still home and ever since they were little, Arthur’s drilled it into his brain that he had to stick close to his little brother no matter what. So he stayed, stuck to the uncomfortable wooden chair, and watched as John shoveled the food in his mouth. He was very careful to not look Arthur in the eye too. This hurt him most of all.

Of course, Arthur’s hurt had to be put on hold at the sound of his father’s clobbering footsteps barreling into the kitchen. If he had a particularly crazy night, Lyle could be found sleeping with his boots on. It was all for the best too, Lyle Morgan had the worst foot odor the teen’s ever smelled. If he couldn’t smell him first, he surely heard him. The man of the hour walked into the kitchen holding his head and muttering nothing pleasant under his breath as he fussed around for a glass. Arthur was shocked that it wasn’t a cup of morning whiskey, he was always fond of those and he loved it even more when it was served to him by his son. Lyle pulled out the ingredients for a Bloody Mary. He was just about done and prepping to make it himself when he grunted and clutched at his head.

“Shit! Arthur, come here and fix this drink up for me.”

He wasn’t hungover enough to bark an order at Arthur, apparently. It gave him a welcome release from John at least. He sighed, and moved immediately to finish where his father left off. Lyle staggered off up the stairs and soon Arthur’s ears filled with the sound of piss hitting the toilet water. Even John had to pause from his attitude to take in the wonder of how long their father had been urinating. Arthur made the mistake once of having compassion for his parent and warned the man that he was going to get UTI if he kept holding in his piss all night. Lyle thanked him for it by beating his concerned son till he pissed himself. Whether or not Lyle learned his lesson, Arthur definitely did.

“That better be fucking done, boy!”

His father had the door open the entire time, which was why the boys heard everything much clearer than they wanted. Lyle was listening out for the clinking of the glass; Arthur had only stopped just to take in how long his dad was in the bathroom. A moment too long. He couldn’t go to work with another bruise.

He hoped that Sadie was there. He missed her since they last hung out, it seemed so long ago.

His dad’s thumping down the creaky stairs raised every hair on his body. He stirred faster, and hurried the drink along so that he was putting the finishing touches on it when Lyle appeared. The wrinkled, bleary, blue-eyes squinted to focus on the state of his drink. He hummed, signaling that his son was saved his wrath for just a little while more. Arthur let out a breath he didn’t even know he was holding when Lyle took a sip. His chest hitched and he watched with wide and scared eyes, anxiously anticipating his dad’s reaction.

Lyle stared at the cup, and when his eyes did that awful squint again, Arthur was ready to sink to his knees and beg his father’s forgiveness, but his hand clenched to the sink instead and his body refused to budge no matter how much he willed it. He peeped over his father’s shoulder and saw John watching with uneasy eyes. His spoon was still gripped upright in his hand. The brothers had this unspoken language between them whenever they sensed that Lyle was in a mood. Arthur stared hard into his little brother’s eyes and John seemed to understand him. He went back to eating, he was slower though. Arthur’s heart was glad yet saddened at John’s obedience. Lyle was still parsing over his new beverage and Arthur could _feel_ the way he was looking for a problem with it. Thanks to him, Arthur had been making drinks since he was five. Even if it sounded egotistical, the teen knew that he made pretty decent drinks because of it. There was nothing wrong with his father’s drink. But if his father decided that his effort was to be paid in a beating or hurtful words then there was little he could do to stop it. He just wished John didn’t always have to watch. Lyle raised his hand towards Arthur, and even though the oldest brother wanted to set an example for the younger and hold his ground, the instinct to flinch, to hide as much of himself away from the coming blow was much stronger than his desire to be tough. So he closed his eyes tight and bowed his head to brace himself for the hit that never came.

Lyle patted him on the head instead. Not quite like a slap to the face but much more unnerving to Arthur.

“You can’t do fuck else, Arthur, but you can make a damned good drink. Good on ya lad.”

Lyle turned and gave a passing glance to his youngest son before skulking away to his room to get ready for work. Arthur looked over at John, who quickly remembered that he was in fact not talking to his brother, and kept eating at his cereal. Arthur steadied his breathing and wiped at the tears that formed because his eyes were shut so tight. He turned around and John was drinking the milk from the bowl.

“I—I’m…” Arthur found his voice was a bit too shaky for his liking so he cleared it before talking again.

“You alright to stay here for a bit while I get ready for work?”

John didn’t answer him and Arthur wasn’t sure if he was going to be able to handle this for much longer despite it only lasting for a few minutes. He wanted to try again and breach the topic with John, he looked to the clock and realized that he was going to be late if he didn’t throw his uniform on at that very moment. He let John win this round and headed up the stairs to get ready as quickly as possible. He was sure he brushed his teeth in record time.

He came down the stairs and saw that John was ready to head out and he was shocked to see the boy get ready so fast. Arthur didn’t even hear him go in his room to change. He supposed he should thank the lord for the small miracles and went with it. John opened the door when he saw Arthur put his cap on and the two silently made their way to the car.

Charles was outside, playing with Copper. Playing, wasn’t the right word, to Arthur it was more like Charles was sitting on the step tossing a stick while Copper fetched it and made Charles wrestle it out of his hands before going to fetch it again. The door to their house opened and Arthur stopped when he saw a tall man in a very crisp navy blue suit stepping out of the house. It didn’t take a genius to see that the man was a splitting image of Charles. Obviously, the teen’s elusive father. Charles turned and smiled up at his father, who returned the grin and tousled at his son’s hair while briskly walking down the steps of their porch to his, much nicer car.

“Bye dad!”

Charles’ father didn’t verbally respond, he smiled and got in the car, promptly pulling away and waving to his son one more time. Arthur couldn’t miss the way he looked genuinely happy to see and talk to his son. Charles said that the wasn’t really around all the time, but it didn’t make Arthur any less jealous. He wondered how well Charles could make a Bloody Mary. Charles’ eyes landed right on his, and Arthur reckoned that his smile stretched even wider.

“Morning guys!”

The two, in unison smiled and gave their biggest waves back as they said, “Morning Charles!”

Arthur felt some semblance of normalcy, but his heart still lost its rhythm at the recollection of that tiny interaction between Charles and his father.

“Ready to play some Fortnite with me, John?”

John, once again letting his pettiness go for childish happiness, nodded profusely.

“Yeah! And can we play Minecraft too?”

Charles nodded and laughed.

“I love Minecraft, of course!”

Arthur couldn’t help but smile at the two of them, even if his chest ached and he just wanted to sleep all day. Even if John wasn’t happy with him, seeing the boy smile was everything.

“I can’t wait! See you later, Charles!”

John’s arm looked about ready to fall off the way he was waving his farewell to his new friend. Arthur flashed another smile before opening his door.

“I get out of work in the afternoon, I can come over if you want.”

Charles perked up and Arthur was worried that his head was going to fall off from all the nodding, even Copper’s tail wagged a bit. Sometimes Arthur could swear that dog knew what they were saying.

“Yeah, that’s…that’s just fine, Arthur. We can wait to get John together.”

John beamed at the thought of Charles coming to pick him up so that they could spend the evening together. Arthur knew that John would rather Charles come alone, but he can’t drive, at least, Arthur definitely didn’t think he should be driving with an injured leg. Folks in Blackwater were terrible drivers, and they wouldn’t hesitate to rear-end a teenager with a broken leg if it meant they got to the bar faster. Charles could hurt himself only so much on Arthur’s behalf before the blond would absolutely collapse from the weight of the guilt.

“That sounds fine indeed. Now, if you’ll excuse us, we about to be late!”

John was already moving to sit in the car. Arthur and Charles both noticed that he sat in the back. Arthur ducked his head and got in quickly so that his friend couldn’t see the way his face fell at the silent but plenty effective action. When he was able to manage one last polite smile he waved again and closed the door, starting the car and pulling away until Charles could no longer be seen out of his rear-view mirror.

John was much too quiet for Arthur’s liking. Whenever he could get the chance, he would check on him back there and see if he could gauge him in some sort of conversation before he had to leave.

“What Miss Grimshaw got y’all working on now?”

Silence still. He took it in stride and tried to bring up the engagement, since John didn’t want to speak. Arthur looked at his finger. He put the ring on while he was getting dressed. He figured if he wore it enough, he would grow to love it and then finally get excited for the wedding. He just had to get used to it is all. What person didn’t get nervous about being engaged? Sadie was sure to lose her mind when she gets to clap eyes on it.

“John…I ain’t know he was going to propose to me. If I did…you know I would’ve---”

“Oh my god, Arthur shut up!”

John’s outburst was louder than last night’s, Lyle’s lack of intimidating presence definitely the prime motivator for it. Arthur jumped a bit in his seat from the sheer surprise of it. John never took that tone with him before, even during their worst fights. He wasn’t quite sure how to react or deal with it. So Arthur did what he knew how to best, what he was told. He gripped the wheel and stared at the road so hard he thought his eyes were going to fall off.

When they got to the school, John slammed the door and didn’t even so much as look back at Arthur while he was walking into the building. As usual, Sean and Lenny were waiting for him and the minute he showed up they were all huddled together.

It took Arthur ten minutes to collect himself before he could drive again without his heart pounding loud in his chest. He ended up being late to work by five minutes. He’d never done that before and Pearson made sure to let him know.

“You look like you’re having a rough time of it, Arthur, so I won’t tear you apart but let’s try to be mindful of the time you come into work? Engaged or not, a job’s a job.”

Arthur’s sluggish eyes stole a glance at the glinting jewelry. Pearson breathed out a laugh and shook his head.

“Congrats, by the way. Now get to work.”

Just like that, Pearson started focusing on his documents and Arthur almost staggered out of the office. His co-workers were working, like time hasn’t touched anything but the two of them in that office. He found his way to the drive-thru window and put the headset on.

There weren’t any cars. He figured that it might still be just a bit too early for college students, and the high school students were already in school at this point. He sighed and started drumming his fingers against the metal windowsill. He heard a loud gasp, and then his hand was being roughly grabbed.

If it was anyone else but Sadie, Arthur would have been both incredibly angry and shocked at the audacity, but of course it was her so that somehow made it all better.

The words that came out of her mouth didn’t make Arthur feel much better, however.

“Arthur…please tell me you ain’t elope!”

He didn’t even know where to begin.


	36. Chapter 36

“I bet Dutch would like that, but no. I ain’t married yet.”

Sadie looked relieved and Arthur hated that he could relate. Should he be mad at everyone else, himself, or both? The only two people that know are Charles and John. Pearson never looked happy about anything. Arthur’s engagement wasn’t even something he would back on fondly if he thought about it, and the others that watched, Dutch included, no one seemed too thrilled by what was supposed to be one the most joyous events to witness. When Sadie asked him if he eloped, he thought that lying about it would make him feel better. But that made the pit in his stomach sink even lower. Sadie let go of his hand and placed it back on the sill.

“Lord, I don’t know what I would’ve done had you gotten married.”

That irked Arthur. He didn’t want to be upset with her, he liked her too much. But she only knew him for less than a month, she only met Dutch once and all they did was holler at each other. He appreciated that she cared for him enough, but besides this they were practically strangers and he didn’t take too kindly to strangers telling him about his life.

“What would you have done?”

Arthur worked hard with his anger. He knew that sometimes it was easy for the feeling to engulf him and ruin anything in his path. Living the life he had, how could he not feel even the least bit angry? All he had was John and Dutch, and now he wasn’t even too sure he had John anymore. All he felt he was either angry, hollow, or a painful mixture of the two. Today he felt more hollow than he did angry, but Sadie was overstepping.

She noticed the change in him. She didn’t falter though, she was tough like that and even though Arthur was supposed to be upset with her, he still couldn’t help but appreciate that about her.

“Well, I ain’t looking to shoot the chapel up or nothing, I just think…you know…”

“I don’t think I do.”

She rolled her eyes and let out a sigh of exasperation.

“Arthur, look me in my eyes and tell me that you want to marry him.”

His brows furrowed. She grabbed at his hand again, he pulled away.

“Of course I want to marry, Dutch!”

“I ain’t mean it like that I meant more like…like…like is you ready to marry him?”

Arthur thought that of all the people who would’ve understood him, it would’ve been Sadie. She was a woman who loved her spouse more than anything, and had one of the healthiest relationships he’d ever seen. Charles didn’t even grill him this hard about the engagement.

“You got married when you was younger than me. Was you ready?”

She looked like she was offended by that. He wasn’t trying to bait her, or make her uncomfortable. But it seemed just the smallest bit hypocritical for her to give him the third degree when she married someone before she even graduated high school.

“I love Jake, ain’t no doubt about that. I wouldn’t have married him if I weren’t ready, but the thing is, Arthur…we both knew that we wanted to get married.”

“I always knew that Dutch wanted to be married. I did too.”

“You see? You just said ‘did’. That ain’t present tense, is it?”

Arthur knew exactly what was going on. He wasn’t a genius, but he wasn’t a complete dunce either. He knew what she was getting at, and he wasn’t sure if he wanted to speak anymore on the subject. He wanted to marry Dutch a few months after they met, but then life happened and the thought of being someone’s lawfully wedded husband drifted further and further from him until he no longer thought about it. It seemed Dutch never stopped thinking about marriage.

Sadie wasn’t trying to make a fool out of him. Arthur sighed and pulled his headset off his ears.

“If Dutch had asked me any time before this year…I would’ve said yes on the spot.”

He let out a mirthless chuckle.

Sadie placed her hands on his arms and squeezed them.

“But?”

Arthur figured that there was no better therapy than the McDonald’s drive-thru.

“But…I got…I got so many things to worry about, Sadie. John…he older now but he still needs me. I still gotta feed him, clothe him…look after him, you know? I got to make sure I keep this job that I were late for today, I got to worry about my p--….I got a lot on my plate.”

“Anyone that been around you longer than a day can see that. Hell, did you even sleep last night?”

Arthur didn’t really get a good look at himself today. He felt disgusting after last night, and woke up with crusty tear tracks and eyes. He was worried about John and focused more on a way to get him to speak to him again than he did his appearance. It was a wonder that Dutch wanted to marry someone as unkempt as him. Arthur shook his head. 

“John and I…got into a bit of a fight is all.”

A car pulled up to the menu. Sadie scoffed and gave him an incredulous look.

“Somehow, I think ‘a bit of a fight’ is an understatement if you losing sleep over it.”

Arthur pulled his headset back on and started taking the order of the family of three in the car. Their baby was loud, and the other young child they had in the back was even louder. Arthur had to ask the mom to repeat her order at least four times and prayed that he wasn’t going to get an earful when she pulled up. Thankfully she looked too tired to do anything other than desperately get her coffee and hashbrowns for her rowdy children. She slurred something like a thanks and then drove off, Arthur stuck his head out of the window and watched as she pulled away. When she was gone, he scrunched up his nose and turned to Sadie, who still remembered her worry.

“Do you think that lady was too tired to be driving? I’m worried she might fall asleep at the wheel or something.”

Sadie waved the situation away, indifferent.

“She got a coffee, and that kid look like he about four, she knows what she’s doing.”

Arthur hummed, unsure. He crossed his arms and peeked out the window again, as if she were going to come back for another cup of coffee. If she did, he would give it to her on the house.

“Now, back to what we were talking about…”

Sadie looked deadest on finishing what she started. He didn’t feel good about it, but he could respect that.

“Sadie…”

“When my Jakey popped the question to me, lord I could barely contain myself I was running all over the school telling everyone that we was going to be married! Everyone hated me for a week! Faculty too!”

“Only a week, huh?...” Arthur muttered under his breath. It was easier to contain the jealousy that lingered in that question. Sadie, as usual, was unbothered.

“My point is, when you get hitched to someone you love, you can’t shut up about it. You seem like someone that prefers to keep their affairs private, but…even you would let loose the news to a few folk. I reckon getting engaged can be one of the best things that happen to you.”

“The best?”

“Yeah, the best…or the worst. I don’t think it’s the worst with you, yet, but I certainly ain’t leaning toward the best neither.”

He wanted to argue that but the words died on his lips. Arthur figured it wouldn’t do much to aid him in his firm stance that he did in fact love Dutch and wanted to absolutely marry him. He longed for the day where he would say that and it would be true. He started twisting the ring around his finger. It wasn’t an exact fit, but his weight changes so much that he was sure it was going to someday. Dutch knew that, probably, and that’s why it was the wrong size. Arthur’s only really been a little heavy once in the time Dutch knew him, and that was at the lowest point of his life, really.

“John got mad. You know.”

Sadie softened in a way that Arthur hadn’t really seen her before. He hated that out of all places he was having this conversation, it was at McDonalds. There wasn’t much else to do.

“Mad how?”

Arthur opened his mouth the once and already felt the tears welling in his eyes so he sniffled louder than his voice and went silent. It hurt to speak.

“He…well he ain’t never really liked Dutch ever since they met. John just a little possessive, it ain’t nothing out of the ordinary…on account he so young, so I’m…I’m stuck in a way. This little battle between two of them. Reckon my heart can’t take much more of it.”

He felt raw. He rubbed at the skin on his arms and he felt like it was tearing away piece by piece until Sadie could see nothing but the red inside. His throat was scratchy, and he felt dangerously close to tears. It felt wrong, for him to be this way at his job so early in the morning, with his co-worker, but it was all he could think about.

Thankfully, he was just sad enough that he could do with frowning and being incredibly tired, so he spared himself the embarrassment of crying in front of Sadie. That was too much to put on her. She rubbed at his shoulder and he felt it again, the gentle tearing away of his skin as if he were nothing more than tissue paper. To be honest, he felt like it. Wet tissue-paper being rubbed into nothingness at the bottom of a flooded sink. He didn’t want Sadie to stop, either.

“I’m sorry, Arthur. I wish that this were happier for you, truly. But if something eating at you this bad, then maybe…maybe you don’t want—”

Arthur walked over to the grills and started cooking and he felt nasty and rude doing it. He didn’t want to say something that would’ve upset her, and he knew full well he wasn’t too good with words. He made a note to apologize to her later, but for now, he needed to focus on his job.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is shorter, I'm sorry! I'm in the middle of finals week and it's a little busy. I'll be back to regular soon!


	37. Chapter 37

Arthur’s phone dinged again and he looked down to see that it was Hosea texting him again.

_I just wanted to make sure you were okay._

He was so caught up in the heat of his and Sadie’s disagreement that he clean forgot to respond to the message. His fingers went flying over the keyboard and soon his message was being sent.

_I’m fine, Hosea. I’m free for lunch today, that’s alright for you?_

Hosea didn’t always respond in such a timely matter. If he was being robbed and the gunman told Arthur he would release him if someone answered his call, he wouldn’t call Dutch or Hosea. He figured that’s just what happened when you got to college. Too busy to pick up your phone. Now that he thought about it, Hosea never really was one to have his phone on any setting that wasn’t silent. Dutch, either had his phone on vibrate or the loudest volume possible for his ringtone, he was just the type to ignore a call or misplace his phone whenever someone actually needed him. The three dots went up and soon Hosea’s text bubble popped up.

_Fine with me! Meet me at the café next to the university. You know the one._

_The one Miss Charlotte works at?_

_Yes! Lmk when you get there._

Arthur left it at that before pocketing his phone. He was already chastised for being late, and he didn’t fancy being scolded again so soon after. Sadie lingered by the window for a little bit, she took the orders no problem, and was even able to give Arthur the orders without so much as a hint that she was upset about the abrupt ending of their conversation. After that, she skulked back over to the registers and he found himself regaining his spot again. He hated himself. He only had the one friend, the nicest someone ever been to him since he started working there, and then he went and ruined it because he didn’t like that she was being honest with him. If he acted like he was going to puke, would Pearson let him go early? The last time a girl tried to clock out because she was sick, he told her to take a thirty minute nap in the breakroom and then see how she felt first. Pearson would probably tell him to aim for the floor and not the burgers if he feels sick again. Arthur sighed.

He saw a car pull up. It was the mom again. She looked alert and much angrier than he last remembered.

“Good morning!”

She said it with a fury he’d never seen before in any person. He’s been met with lots of anger from lots of folk, but she embodied the emotion entirely.

“Morning, ma’am.”

He folded his hands together and tensed as he watched her movements carefully. It wasn’t the first time he’s had an unsatisfied customer, as he preferred to call them.

“I asked for caffeine, this is fucking _decaf_!”

She was already yelling, and everyone around him were starting to stare. Sadie would be over here in no time if she caught sight of what was going on.

“Ma’am…I’m real sorry about that, look, l-let me get you a new one.”

“I don’t want _you_ to make my coffee! Get me someone else, I bet you can’t even read, boy!”

Arthur still had his hand reached out to get the cup, but she recoiled from him and the kids in her car started joining in on the shouting. He really didn’t know what to do, he’s had his fair share of moms yell at him for something or other in the drive-thru but this was the first time that a mom was this angry about a coffee.

“I should throw this in your face! Maybe it might wake you up!”

He really wondered what happened to her to make her this upset in such a short span of time. He was worried that she was going to get into a car accident with how tired she looked. Was she sure that the coffee was decaf?

Pearson came over and swiftly grabbed the cup out of the woman’s hand. She was caught off-guard and forgot her anger the moment the hot beverage was out of her grasp. She was only seconds away from launching it straight into Arthur’s face too. He had his head bowed, the only way he ever learned to respond to anger from an adult and his breathing was heavy from the adrenaline pumping through him. All of the fry cooks were looking at him, even some of the customers were huddled around the counter, forgetting the queue they made to order. Sadie was standing a few feet away from him and Pearson. Her hands were clasped over her arms, and she looked worried and apprehensive when she met eyes with Arthur. He didn’t say anything, his breath far too shaky to even form words properly and she didn’t seem too interested in speaking either. She frowned and sighed before turning back to the register before Pearson shooed her away anyway.

“Whoa! I believe you almost dropped the cup ma’am, you know coffee’s a pain in the ass to clean out of a car seat. Ask me how I know.”

The children were shrieking with glee now at the nonsense that was spewing from Simon’s mouth. The mom was still struck with puzzlement.

“I…what?”

Pearson just smiled that customer service worker sneer that they all tended to wear for difficult customers.

“Are we feeling better now? Ready to act like an adult again? Not a very good look to be making such a fuss like that in front of your children, now is it?”

She swiveled her head to the backseat where her kids were nearly bouncing off the walls. She turned to the workers again with simple agitation.

“Can you just give me the damn coffee? My kid’s already late to school!”

“Are you asking for a refill or a different coffee?”

“Caffeinated! I want the damn drink with caffeine in it!”

Simon’s sneer went wider. He nodded and left to make her drink. Arthur didn’t know what to do with himself. She was staring past his soul now. Pearson came back with the coffee and handed it to her with a smile as she snatched it out of his hand.

“You hiring too many damn hillbillies!”

Simon waved, his smile so big his eyes were closed.

“Have a nice day, y’all come back you hear?”

She sped off, returning a not so appropriate hand gesture back to the workers. When she was gone, Pearson immediately turned to Arthur. His cheeks felt hot and his heart would not steady its rhythm. Pearson placed a hand on his shoulder.

“Go cool down in the break room. Take as long as you need.”

Arthur could only nod and distractedly find his way to the break room, while his boss shouted at everyone to get back to work. He felt awful, he should be out there working too, he didn’t deserve the money if he didn’t work hard for it. What if Pearson docks his pay for this? She was mad at him because he got the order wrong, he was the reason why that whole scene was created in the first place. He rubbed a hand over his face and tried his hardest not to cry. He cried whenever he was too upset, no matter if he was sad or angry. He looked in the mirror the room had. His face was red and his cheeks were puffed out from the shame of all that’s just happened. If he wasn’t so stupid he would’ve gotten her order right. If he wasn’t such a moron he would’ve made up with John already instead of letting the boy tear himself apart because of his engagement. But then again, if he was smarter…Dutch wouldn’t like him, would he?

The door to the room opened and Sadie came inside. She was unlike herself, hesitant to talk to him. All it did was make him feel worse.

“I went on and got Pearson for you.”

Arthur sniffed, even though he wasn’t crying.

“Surprised you wasn’t right there ready to pounce.”

Sadie smiled softly and some of the light came back to her eyes.

“Oh trust I was about to if she went ahead and thrown that coffee in your face.”

He smirked and felt the swelling of heat start to cool beneath his face. Sadie didn’t budge though. There was space on the couch for her, but she didn’t move.

“Hey, Arthur.”

His attention was back to her.

“Yes, Sadie?”

She fought with herself for a moment before she finally found the will to voice her anxieties out loud.

“I’m sorry…for making you mad. I just want you to at least think about what I was saying.”

His jaw went tight and his chest suddenly started to ache.

“Sadie…”

Sadie already started walking to the door, her hands thrown up in the air.

“I ain’t trying to fight you on it. You know yourself better than a stranger would.”

“You ain’t no stranger, Sadie. You my friend.”

Her smile was smaller, but returned the sentiment. She looked tired too and he hoped that it didn’t have anything to do with him. He tried so hard not to be such a burden to anyone.

“I know, Arthur.”

She left and he was alone again. He wanted to call John, Dutch, somebody. He didn’t want to be quiet right now, he couldn’t be alone with his sadness and his thoughts it was nearly too much for him to bear at the moment. Dutch would surely be in class right now, if not studying for a final or working on a project. Arthur would get an earful if he disturbed Dutch right now.

Arthur always thought himself a glutton for punishment. He started punching his fiancé’s number in the phone and listened for the ringing. It rang twice, then went to voicemail. Arthur knew that Dutch saw the call and rejected it. He really was in the middle of work and Arthur couldn’t help but feel selfish for trying to call him anyway. John was in class definitely, and this was the longest the boy went without getting detention, he didn’t want to jeopardize that. The only person that was left was Charles. He called him too. It rang longer than Dutch’s, but he didn’t pick up either.

Arthur should’ve learned that he can’t get things his way. He put his hands in his face and then immediately pulled them back down when that cold metal gleaned at him brightly. He pulled it off and put it in his pocket. Dutch hasn’t even spoken to him since the engagement. He didn’t ask him if he got home safe, didn’t ask him to take any nudes with him wearing the ring, nothing. Dutch had a penchant for not speaking to Arthur for a period of time, but it never lasted more than two days. He would never tell Arthur why he wouldn’t speak to him, and it drove Arthur mad some days. He learned how to get used to that too. He figured that everyone had points where they just didn’t feel like talking anymore. He got like that too so he never bothered Dutch about it. Other times he’d just hole himself up in the room and cry when John was asleep. Dutch had only ever been outwardly mad with Arthur _once_. It was the worst two months of Arthur’s life, and resulted in him leaving school altogether.

This line of thinking was precisely why he didn’t want to be alone. He wasn’t too keen on being back out there, back to business, but it wasn’t like he had much of a choice. He did as he always did and fixed his cap, dabbed at his cheeks to make them look normal again, and then walked out of the break room. He didn’t need much longer than three minutes to collect himself. It was nice of Pearson to give him as much time as he needed, but he’s been through worse and not given even so much as a moments’ rest. Whatever his co-workers thought about it, they were polite enough to keep it to themselves for the rest of their time together. Arthur couldn’t move fast enough when it came his time to clock out. Sadie was still on her shift for a little while longer. They only exchanged small waves of farewell and then Arthur was on his way to have lunch with Hosea.

He called his lunch date and was glad that at least Hosea was doing better with keeping in contact than everyone else was. It felt nice to hear his voice on the other line.

“Arthur! You on your way?”

“Yeah, just calling to let you know I’ll be about an hour or so. I know you like to get your face on before you head out your room.”

Arthur laughed and his breathing came easier when he heard Hosea return the sentiment. Folk never really thought Arthur was very funny. Hosea was the only one who laughed at his jokes. At least, Hosea and Charles laugh at his jokes.

“Don’t worry I’m already dressed. I’ll see you soon then.”

Arthur piped up before he heard the click of a phone being hung up.

“Is Dutch in the room with you?”

“Dutch? No, why?’

Arthur deflated at that. He didn’t know why he was expecting anything else. It was getting close to the end of his semester, his time in school period, he was probably hunched over in the library with his nose shoved into a book. His phone was probably on silent now after Arthur tried to call him. He shrugged, forgetting that Hosea couldn’t see that.

“Don’t go no reason I suppose…just ain’t heard from him since our dinner and I miss him is all.”

Arthur wasn’t lying, but he felt his heartstrings twinge and he felt like he told a lie.

“Well, if I see him before you come I’ll let him know your worries.”

Arthur smiled at the reassurance in Hosea’s voice.

“Okay. I best be getting on now.”

“Bye, Arthur.”

Hosea hung up before Arthur got any other bright ideas and asked him something else. Hosea’s voice seemed strange though, when he asked about Dutch. He wasn’t sure how many times the friends fought in all the time they’ve known each other, but that didn’t sound like he was miffed with Dutch. It sounded like…sounded like something else entirely. He hoped everything was alright. He pulled off and was on his way when his phone was ringing. He went for it the moment he was able to stop and put the phone on speaker when the lines connected. It was Charles calling him.

“Arthur! Is…is um…you okay?”

Arthur’s jaw dropped and he peeled his eyes from the road for a split second to look at his phone incredulously.

“I’m better now but more importantly, how high are you right now?”

“Like…like a lot I bet.”

Arthur had never heard the teen this gone.

“You alone?”

“No he isn’t!”

Javier’s shout came abruptly on the other line. The two thought that it was hilarious and broke out into a giggling fit while Arthur was helpless to listen. It was nice, though, to hear Charles laugh this way. He was always so serious, it’s been awhile since he’s seen his smile.

“Hi, Javier.”

It felt weird to be speaking to one of Charles’ friends this casually. When they were in school together, Arthur could never work the courage up to even so much as sit next to Javier at lunch. He knew that the kid dealt out weed sometimes, and he always wanted to buy from him but he knew that Javier would never sell to a kid like him.

“Arthur Morgan!”

“Yes, that’s my name.”

“You coming here? Come hang out with us you can smoke some of weed!”

Arthur was salivating at the mouth to get a chance to smoke with Javier and Charles. All his cool kid dreams would have been realized if he was able to cyph with them just once. He shook his head, focusing on the matter at hand.

“Charles, you better remember that John coming over after school.”

“Yeah but you’re coming with him, right?”

Charles spoke back this time. Arthur could hear a bong bubbling in the background and the sound of a lighter chinking.

“Yes I am, but y’all ain’t about to be smoking the house up when he comes.”

The boys on the other end went silent for a minute. Arthur thought that maybe they were just contemplating his words for a moment, but then he heard the bong again and the sound of someone inhaling.

“Charles Smith!”

“Listen, if we keep him downstairs with the Playstation, the rest of us can come up here and do the….you know the thing.”

“Charles it’s just the three of us you don’t gotta talk like that.”

“He’s not in the car?”

Arthur never realized how stupid weed really makes a person.

“No!”

Javier and Charles nearly died laughing at whatever about that was funny. Arthur let them have their fun, and decided that it was nice that Charles finally had company that wasn’t him, John, or Copper. He sighed and waited for the two to stop their laughter.

“I’ll consider it but just open some windows at least before I get there?”

“Yes sir!”

The two boys said with mock subordination. Arthur rolled his eyes and said his goodbyes before hanging up on them and praying they got it together before he showed up. It was difficult enough with how curious John was about things, last thing he gotta hear is that he got detention for telling all his friends about weed and getting high. He flicked the radio on and wished that he had something rolled for the road too. He hadn’t hot boxed in his car since he first got it. He’s too nervous about being pulled over by the police and letting something as simple as that be what finally gets John taken away from him. The highway to Blackwater University was pretty lonesome this time of day. Maybe he’d spring a surprise visit on Dutch, just to see him before he was solely worried about graduation.

He flicked the radio on and settled in for his commute.

\----

When he got there, Charlotte was already smiling at him. He ate there with Dutch a lot when he first started dating him. It was the first time he’s ever had college food. Dutch laughed at him when he acted like it was the best thing this side of creation. It wasn’t McDonald’s and Arthur liked to be glad of the small things.

“Hello, Arthur!”

“Afternoon Ms. Balfour.”

She was behind the register, and dealing with some customers so that small greeting was all she could afford at the moment. Hosea was already seated at a booth by the window, reading his book. Dutch always thought himself to be a composed individual, but Hosea was truly the level-headed and composed one out of the two. Arthur was amazed at how every student in the café looked like they were one espresso shot away from death, but Hosea looked as tranquil as a monk watching a stagnant pond. Arthur slid into the empty side of the booth and cleared his throat as a gentle alert to his presence. Hosea’s crystal blue eyes darted up to him, and he closed his book and placed it to the side.

“How’re you doing, Arthur?”

Arthur drummed his fingers on the table as he nodded. His lips pressed too tight together for him to look genuinely content with life at the moment.

“Fine. What about you? I know you and Dutch running around like chickens with their heads chopped off cause of finals. Lord, I wish I ever finished school so I could be smart like y’all, but I don’t think I’d do too well with finals if it got y’all acting like this.”

Hosea waved him off. A humble man.

“Oh please, Dutch and I been through more than this. We’ll be okay, I think.”

“That’s good to hear.”

A comfortable silence filled the booth. Charlotte came over with her notepad.

“What can I get the two of you? The regular for you, Mr. Morgan?”

He snickered at the title. He should be so lucky to be a mister. Mister was what you called them that were important.

“You know you can call me Arthur, Ms. Balfour, and I’m still in shock that you even remember what I used to order since I ain’t been here in so long.”

“No one ever looked quite as excited as you to order an iced coffee with a croissant before. It really does make my heart all a-flutter. Seeing as it’s now lunch, though, I got some stew just made if you’re interested.”

Hosea smiled up at her and nodded.

“What’s on the menu?”

She looked chipper as ever.

“I’m glad you asked! Rabbit stew!”

Arthur loved rabbit stew. His mother still had his grandma’s recipe, and they would always make it together before her birthday. He didn’t need to hear Charlotte say anything else about it before he was sold on the matter.

“I would love a bowl of rabbit stew.”

“Anything to drink?”

“Coke, if you have it.”

She jotted that down and then looked over at Hosea.

“I’ll just have a coffee.”

“Just a coffee? No toast or anything?”

Hosea only laughed and held his hands  up.

“Alright, alright. I’ll have some toast, lightly buttered please.”

She wrote that down and gave a bit of a curtsy.

“Coming right up, gentlemen.”

When she was away and they were alone again, Hosea had that serious look on his face and it unsettled Arthur to see him look so grim.

“What’s wrong?”

Hosea pointed at Arthur’s hand.

“Where’s your ring, Arthur?”

Arthur quickly moved his naked hand off the table and looked at Hosea with worry in his eyes.

“…you promise not to tell Dutch?”

“Of course.”

Arthur took a deep breath and started to say his piece.

“I took it off during work today…I don’t know, Hosea. Everyone keep looking at me funny when they see the ring and I feel funny wearing it.”

“You don’t want to marry Dutch?”

Arthur couldn’t bring himself to say the words out loud. But it was time he came to terms with it, wasn’t it? If Hosea was asking him now, maybe he really did give off the energy that he wasn’t ready to be anyone’s husband. He shook his head and felt ashamed to even admit to it.

“Good, you shouldn’t.”

Arthur was surprised to hear that come from his fiancé’s best friend’s mouth. Hosea let out a tired exhale, and folded his hands on the table, leaning in slightly.

“Arthur…tell you what. You tell me what happened the night you got engaged and I’ll tell you everything that you want to know about Dutch.”

“Hosea?”

“I know, I know…what I may seem like but I promise I wouldn’t be doing this if I was his friend. Truth is, you ain’t his first and you certainly won’t be his last.”

Arthur felt his heart jump to his throat.

“Hosea…”

“This ain’t the first time Dutch has been engaged, Arthur.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guess who's finally done with finals! This girl!!!! 
> 
> This chapter is ten pages! I hope that can prove an efficient enough apology for leaving you guys hanging for so long. Happy holidays!


	38. Chapter 38

Arthur didn’t know where to begin. The part where Hosea, the man Dutch trusts more than anyone, told Arthur not to marry him or the part where Hosea told Arthur that he wasn’t the love of Dutch’s life like his fiancé had always told him. He was calm, stony-faced even at the words that came out of the older man’s mouth. His hands were grasping at the leather seat below him as he let Hosea finish saying his piece. He wondered if it was difficult for Hosea to get his words out.

“Look, I’ve known Dutch since we both got assigned roommates…feels like forever ago now that I think about it. Dutch…he came to BU with a partner. A fiancée. Her name was Annabelle.”

“Was?”

Hosea held his hand up to signal to him that he would get to that point of the story in time. Arthur was patient, he didn’t have much of a choice but to allow Hosea that much of himself.

“I didn’t know her too well, but what I did know was that Dutch loved that woman with every fiber of his being.”

Arthur wanted so badly for something to react inside him at the thought of Dutch loving someone else and being engaged to them too. Maybe Dutch shoved the ring on her finger too. He coughed, his throat suddenly becoming dry.

“S-she loved him too?”

“Reckon she did. Put me and my Bessie to shame. Matter fact, now that I think about it, Dutch probably made it that way on purpose. He’s…always competing even if the competitor is himself. Used to bring Annabelle sometimes whenever I specifically told him that Bessie was coming. Lord did that get awkward when he did.”

Arthur didn’t know Bessie. He knew that Hosea had a girlfriend he loved very much, other than that, whatever went down between them hurt the older man to the point where he seldom spoke about her. Even the utterance of her name could turn his whole day black.

“They was engaged before we got to college. High school sweethearts, you know all that.”

Evidently, Arthur didn’t. He wanted to stop Hosea right there in his tracks, ask him so many questions that even he would be irritated and cut their lunch early. But there was nothing. No desire to interrupt him, no desire to make a scene. All he could do was sit and scratch and listen, no matter how badly he wanted to leave.

“I wasn’t around the two of them too much, so I don’t know exactly what caused their fight that day she…”

Arthur leant forward in the chair.

“The day she what?”

“The day she died. She…I don’t know she stormed out I guess to go clear her head. Don’t really know what Dutch said to her but she was in quite a state when I was heading back to the room.”

Arthur had a few ideas of what could’ve been said. Dutch was hurtful when he was mad; cruel when he was angry. Arthur had been the brunt of that, Dutch’s shouts and insults and the even kinder words that came after when he’d finally calmed down. Charlotte placed their orders down without so much as a noise, sensing the tension in the air. She gave Arthur one more smile before going on about her day.

“Anyway…I spent about a few hours after that having to calm Dutch down and just when I thought I finally had him, he…he got the call.”

Arthur saw the way even Hosea looked upset about her death. Was she that interesting as a person? That likeable? Was he every bit the same like her, but close enough that Dutch could marry him without being reminded of the horrible loss he suffered before.

“Colm o’Driscoll.”

Arthur wished he was more interactive about this. He wished that he had more to say, more to contribute. Maybe an offer of condolences something that made Hosea feel like he was talking to a person and not the brick wall everybody thought he already was.

“W-Who’s—”

“Annabelle’s murderer, if you were to ask Dutch.”

Arthur’s eyes went wide, something akin to a newborn deer. It was enough that Hosea couldn’t help but crack a smile at the sight before planting a calming hand on his own.

“No, it weren’t no homicide, but…just one of them things. Bad luck, bad timing.”

“What happened to her?”

“Colm…funny thing is, Colm goes to BU. He was out driving with his friends, drunk at the wheel. Dutch was there for Colm’s testimony. According to him, he didn’t even know she was there, claimed he was emotionally scarred by it when he found out what he did. Colm got off with a DUI ticket and a warning. Dutch never could let that go.”

Arthur’s head lowered. He always hated drunk drivers, his pa was one and he hit a neighbor’s cat once because he swerved onto their lawn while he was trying to park. Drunk driving was what killed his mother, but Arthur wasn’t quite ready to talk about that yet.

“Dutch…Dutch was…well he was calmer than I would expect someone to be when losing their fiancée. They was going to get married that week, or whatever Dutch said. Couldn’t shut him up about it. Then…then you was hard pressed to even get him to mention that she was almost his wife, or that she ever existed at all, really. Molly came in the picture not too long after.”

Arthur chuckled but the humor wasn’t present. There wasn’t anything funny about this. Now that all of this was brought to his attention, he had to know everything. No matter how much it hurt.

“Molly?”

“Ms. O’Shea, the poor girl. Her family emigrated from Ireland, Dublin, not too long before she started at BU. She was lost, scared, I reckon, a bit of a romantic with the way she fell so hard for Dutch. He didn’t do anything except help when she needed it most. Dutch says that he helped her study for an exam when he found her crying in the library.”

Arthur’s chest constricted every time he made the decision to speak. He could feel the lump in his throat making it harder for him to communicate, but he needed to know what led Dutch to him in the first place. He barely knew anything about the man he dated for two years, and any time he asked he was always met with irritation and then a complete shutdown, or a distraction of sex and love and that was only when he was in a good mood before the questioning. Hosea was not a man to be kept from telling his story.

“He ain’t love her back?”

Hosea sighed and teetered-tottered with the answer himself. It was too late to spare Arthur’s feelings, they were already quashed by the weight of the news. His stew was going cold, he didn’t want Charlotte to be upset.

“I think he tried. I want to say he tried, at least. He accepted that love…hell, sometimes he even reciprocated it, but his heart still belonged to Annabelle…the anger towards Colm….reckon Molly never stood a chance. She tried to love him still, despite it. Her first American boyfriend, first friend in general. She wanted to marry him. He got real mad. I had to stop him from nearly ripping her to shreds the moment she broached the topic. They were done after that night, I heard around that she didn’t take it too well. The break-up. Took to drinking and spewing all kinds of hatred about him to whoever would listen. Dropped out even, she would’ve been graduating with us.”

Was that his fate too then? Part of the string of ill-fated loves that Dutch wore on his heart? If Arthur had refused him at the dinner, or even asked to marry him first? Would Dutch have been so eager to be Arthur’s husband? He took the ring out of his pocket and eyed it deeply. Not sure if he wanted to dunk it in the stew and then toss it in the trash, or keep it and wear it proudly. A declaration that he was the worthy one for Dutch, all the more reason why they should be wed. That appealed to him even less.

“Arthur, I don’t know what he sees in you…and don’t take that the wrong way. But, Dutch…Dutch does love his plans and his grand scheme of life. Don’t let him make you part of that, please. I already seen it destroy two people before and you…you already got to deal with things that don’t require any more headaches. I ain’t about to stop you from walking down the aisle with him, hell, if you need someone to walk you I’ll volunteer but…he ain’t right for you. He ain’t even right for himself, but he won’t ever see the light.”

Arthur felt his eyes getting glassy and his vision blurring.

“Not even if I help him?”

Hosea didn’t like that answer, and Arthur wondered why he couldn’t please anybody.

“Arthur, he’s grown. He got a momma that love him, a steady job…all he wants is that anger, that hurt Colm gave him. He don’t want no help, don’t want my help, Josiah’s help, he don’t want your help.”

“But he loves me, Hosea.”

Arthur couldn’t stop the few tears that fell anyway. He was in public, it was so shameful to him to be crying so often and in such a public place. These people were just trying to find a way to have their existential crises without being made more uncomfortable by a stupid boy that didn’t even attend crying in a place where he didn’t belong. He swiped the tears away quickly and took several quick breaths to steady himself. He could see that Hosea was ready to offer him whatever comfort he might’ve needed, but he refused it before he could get it. He’s cried far too much in far too little time. He was going to spare Hosea and himself the embarrassment of public crying. The world didn’t know about him and Dutch, and they weren’t going to find out this way. He quickly grabbed at the spoon and shoveled the stew in his mouth. It was still hot, and burned his tongue a bit, warmed his throat as it went down. It was salty, the meat was thick but tender and he effortlessly tore it to shreds as he chewed. It helped prevent his anger for a little bit.

“Arthur…I want you to think about what Dutch’s love is to you. Long and hard, I want you to go home and really think.”

“I don’t need to think Hosea, I know he does. You don’t marry someone you don’t love!”

“Do you love him enough to marry him then? You never told me how the engagement went. Dutch didn’t either, he just came back and fell asleep. Looked like he ran twenty marathons, certainly didn’t seem too happy either.”

Arthur wished that he wasn’t so wounded by that. Hosea’s harmless words aimed right for his heart. Dutch wasn’t happy? He planned that night for weeks, months even given his fiancé’s penchant for obsessing over plans with dubious outcomes. Sure, Dutch probably wasn’t happy with Arthur’s reaction but, maybe if Arthur was happier with the engagement maybe he would’ve been happier to tell Hosea the news. Then again, Dutch didn’t seem that excited to be engaged to him either.

“Well…I made him upset, from the moment I got there. It always feel like I just make him mad sometimes, I don’t know I ain’t trying to but…some days there ain’t no pleasing Dutch.”

Hosea looked pained to hear Arthur say that.

“Unfortunately, I understand that all too well.”

Arthur gulped loudly, his stomach craving more of that savory stew that was quickly settling from piping hot to lukewarm. Hosea tore open two packets of sugar and some creamer, he took a careful sip and licked his lips clean of the residue. He ate a piece of the toast. Arthur took another bite of his soup. It did good to stop the tears that were still so close to falling, making his soup saltier if they did.

“I…I got into a bit of a scuffle with pa before. I was trying to get to the restaurant on time, I know Dutch hate bad punctuality, but there weren’t nothing I could do. I tried…I tried to hide and I tried to tell Dutch but he didn’t want to listen and he got mad at me…and he just got madder because he went down on one knee in front of all them folk and asked me to marry him but I…I just froze.”

Arthur tried so hard not to cry recounting that awful day. The day that should’ve been the happiest of his life. But he felt like he should’ve sobbed anyway, it would’ve been easier to understand through tears then the awful choking sounds he made when the sadness of that day hit him particularly hard. Hosea looked concerned, his simple food forgotten.

“I didn’t want to say yes, I can’t run off and get married when John still so young, and you know Hosea, you know that he can’t be alone with pa. Dutch…Dutch keep saying that he needs a little bit of money and he’d buy us an apartment after he graduated…but that could take so long and I can’t get buy on promises. I need money for me and John, and I need it wherever I can get it. I ain’t leaving John for nothing or nobody.”

He felt his heart pounding, and that tremor of anger that coursed through him despite his best efforts to stop it. He didn’t like being angry, he didn’t like what being angry made him. Hosea didn’t deserve this anger.

“Dutch…Dutch told me not to embarrass him and whispered in my ear to put the ring on. I weren’t much more than a statue, caught off-guard with the commotion of it all. He slid the ring on my finger and the whole restaurant clapped but I couldn’t feel the way they felt. Dutch weren’t smiling, but he kissed me still. He’d been mad at me all night, he got madder because I weren’t happy with it all. He scolded me in the car and told me that all we needed was each other. He ain’t talk to me since. I didn’t mean to make him mad, Hosea…I didn’t…”

Hosea was immediately up and over at his side, hugging him, despite there being people around. The public always frightened Arthur. They were always given too much access into his life and all he’d done was work to prevent that. He tried time and time again and always failed. From the moment of his birth until now, all he’d been was a huge failure.

“You’re gonna be alright, Arthur. You’re stronger than you think you are, you know that right? I haven’t known you long, but I like to fancy myself a good judge of character and I think you fit the bill. You’re a brave one and I’m glad to have met you.”

Arthur wasn’t crying, and he was sure that the stew went cold. But this hug was nice, and Hosea’s words were even nicer.

No adult’s been this kind to him in a while. He sighed, and nestled deeper into the embrace. Public eyes be damned.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been having bad anxiety over the past week, so forgive me if this chapter isn't as long as the previous one, I'm certainly aiming to make the next one longer. 
> 
> Thank you all for reading and happy holidays if I don't get to wish that later!


	39. Chapter 39

Arthur had always wanted a great deal of things when he found himself old enough to recognize the feeling of want. He’d wanted a cover for his steering wheel for the winter when he wasn’t able to warm the car up. He wanted some more shirts that didn’t have the McDonald’s logo stitched on it, a glaring signal that this miserable job he worked was all he had. He wanted money so that, just once, he could buy John anything his heart desired, and would not have to deny him even something as simple as a toy that simply cost too much. Arthur had wanted his mother more times than he could count. Before she died, he wanted her all the time. Every day, every moment she was gone from him. She was the one that made pa calm, more than the drink he used to replace her. She was the one that kissed him when she couldn’t protect him from Lyle’s unreasonable, indiscriminate fury.

He wanted Hosea to be lying. He wanted it all to be a test, a final initiation before Dutch knew that he truly wanted to marry him. He wanted Dutch to hug him the way Hosea did, to stop being mad, or busy, or whatever he was. He wanted John to smile again and to be the child that he desperately tried to let him be. Anger didn’t suit his little brother, he was just a boy. A boy that had been burdened by far too much in the short decade he’d been alive. When he was the boy’s age, he wished that he just went with Charles to the movies. He wanted to do that more than anything when he was asked.

Arthur sighed and flipped the turn signal. The area was becoming more and more familiar to him now that he neared the place he feared the most. Home. Arthur wanted to be far far away from home. More than anything he’d wanted to not exist, or to be something else. A bird, a bird with great big wings. He would fly and soar to cities and places that were not Blackwater. But then, that would mean he would have to leave John behind. Charles. Sadie and Hosea too.

Arthur supposed that at the root of it all, what he wanted most was to be loved.

To be loved by Dutch, to be loved by his father. To be loved earnestly by somebody. It seemed more like a delusion, something unobtainable.

Maybe he would take John, to visit Beatrice. She wasn’t John’s mother. John’s mother was a woman named Rachel. Some time eleven years ago in some nasty bathroom in a bar John was conceived and then dumped on their porch like something out of a bad movie, driving away in her busted down pick-up truck, flipping Lyle off as she sped down the street. John was a newborn, freshly out of the hospital, if not a month-old and of course Lyle wasn’t going to talk about the “junkie bitch that told him she was on the pill”. Kind words coming from him. Arthur thought about it, telling John what happened between Lyle and his mom, only for a brief time. But then Arthur decided that John suffered enough with one bad parent, it was best for the boy not to learn that he very nearly could’ve had two. Besides, half-brother or not, it didn’t make Arthur love him any less. He supposed that he could love John enough that it would make the kid not crave the attention from a mother-figure he would never have.

He pulled into the school and he had only just noticed that the radio wasn’t on the entire hour drive.

John was already sat at the steps. He was smiling with his friends. Arthur saw that Lenny and Sean got over whatever petty squabble they’d been having. He also John holding a Lego toy that he never owned. The boys were practically salivating over it.

He stepped out of the car and watched for a moment, at his brother laughing loudly at some joke that Lenny said. Said boy reveling in the pride of making his friends amused. Arthur smiled at the sight of his brother looking every bit as youthful as he was. He felt old, haggard, like he’d been born a thousand times and with each rebirth he’d felt more tired than before.

Sean caught eyes with him first, and he waved grand and loudly as he was wont to do. Arthur smiled and returned the gesture. Lenny soon joined in and even gave a vocal greeting, which made John snap up from his new tone. His face falling automatically at the sight of his brother.  Arthur wished that it didn’t break his heart every time. In an instant, John mumbled something that Arthur could only conclude was a farewell. He shoved the toy back in his backpack and then started his march over to his dreadful big brother.

“Hey, John.”

Met with silence as usual. He plastered an awkward smile on his face and gave one more look over at his friends and then got in the car, the sound of John’s door slamming loudly resounding in his ears. He sat in the back as usual, busying himself by staring down at his shoes. Arthur looked down at the boy’s shoes. He needed a new pair. He would feel worse if the kids started making fun of him for holes and tears like they did him when he was in middle school. John had his hand resting on his cheek. Making every attempt to not make eye contact with Arthur.

“You ready to go to Charles? He been waiting for you, he texted me and everything asking where you is.” 

John grunted. Arthur made that up, wasn’t much of a liar for lying sake, but he wanted John to talk to him and he found out very quickly that he would be willing to do anything to have just one conversation with him. It felt wrong, it felt strange for them to be like this for so long.

“We can be there as long you like.”

He turned the car back in drive, not really expecting much from him in terms of conversation. He turned the radio up and felt anxious at the fact that even the soft strumming of the guitar in “Country Roads” couldn’t distract him from the angry child in the back. Thankfully it was only a short drive to the house. He suddenly felt very stupid for not warning Charles and Javier to air the house out before he got there. That is, if Javier and Charles weren’t still boofing it up. Charles knew what time John got out of school, and he was responsible, even moreso than Arthur. It was nerves, that’s all it was. By the time he even came up with a decision to call him, they were already pulling up to the house, John darting out of the car like he was white knuckling the whole time. Like there was a bomb just seconds from blowing if he didn’t get out of the car immediately. Charles probably saw them coming from his window, he was hobbling outside, Copper at his side as always.

“Hi John!”

John, with the enthusiasm that he decidedly lacked with Arthur, seemed to find it again the moment he saw Charles’ smiling face. He supposed Charles was just charming like that. He was glad that there was someone that could make his little brother smile when he couldn’t.

Copper came down the stairs, tongue lolled out of his mouth, tail wagging so hard that he was sure it could break someone’s shin if he tried. He gave the brothers a glance before traipsing over to the tree on the lawn, raised his leg and let loose a stream of piss that could be heard hitting the bark of the tree. Charles rolled his eyes.

“Copper I resent that you make people watch!”

Copper’s tongue was still drooping out of his mouth, blissfully  relieving himself. When he was finished, he squatted, and that’s when the three quickly squabbled to give the dog some privacy.

“He’s very happy to see you two. Come on in!”

He gestured for them to follow. John was all too happy, and Arthur followed close behind. John was already in the house before Arthur stopped in front of Charles.

“How’s he been?”

Charles’ tone was careful, quieter than even Arthur knew he could get. He was already a soft-spoken guy. One of the reasons Arthur was drawn to him, he supposed. He never yelled at him, never raised his voice. Charles was kind and warm and it rubbed off on those around him.

But he asked a question. Arthur shook his head and gestured towards the door that John bolted through.

“He treat me like I’m a plague. Ain’t spoke a word to me since this morning and weren’t much said then. I…I ain’t too sure what to do, Charles.”

Arthur tried not to always be sad around Charles. He didn’t ask for that, and he certainly didn’t need any negativity while his leg was trying to heal. But Charles just smiled that damned smile of his and Arthur couldn’t fight the twitch of one curling on his lips as well. Charles patted Arthur’s shoulder and then rubbed at the blade. The two just stared into each others’ eyes, smiles smaller but held with warmth. Charles’ hands felt good. Arthur cleared his throat and then looked over at Copper.

“You want him back inside?”

Charles waved the oblivious dog off, who was now trying his darndest to eat the sprinkler water that had just turned on.

“He needs some fresh air. We can walk him in a bit, I know how much you miss that.”

Arthur laughed again, this time it was less forced. Charles was like a balm for his soul.

“That dog be walking me, ain’t no way around that.”

Charles laughed too and Arthur wanted to know how he could always find a way for him to laugh. He wasn’t a funny man, he knew that. But with Charles, everything always felt genuine, and like just maybe…it was all going to be okay. It wasn’t something he was used to with another person.

“Don’t want to keep John, waiting do we?”

Arthur sighed, deflating at the mention of his brother. He nodded and started walking inside. John was already parked on the couch, Xbox controller in his hand and Minecraft already playing on the TV. Charles could’ve had someone break into his house and John wouldn’t hear a single thing the way he was enamored in his game.

“Where Javier?”

Charles laughed at that and it all came coming back to him that Charles was most likely high still.

“He’s upstairs. I think he’s rolling again?”

Arthur looked at Charles with a bit of alarm and then back to his brother. Charles held a hand up after steadying his crutch under his armpit.

“Don’t worry, I already told him that John was coming. We’ll just step outside. Unless…”

“Unless what?”

Charles shrugged, Arthur could see the playfulness in his smile. He was teasing.

“Well…I mean…Javier brought his bong.”

Arthur’s jaw dropped.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Holidays and I hope you all enjoy this new chapter!


	40. Chapter 40

The door shut closed behind them when the two boys were inside. Arthur turned to smile at Charles while the two started walking towards the stairs. Arthur stopped again just before the wall upstairs obstructed his view of his little brother, staring just a little longer to make sure the boy was really okay. Charles rested his hand on Arthur’s shoulder again, and two pats.

“He’ll be just fine, Arthur.”

Arthur wanted very badly to believe Charles. He knew that they were safe in Charles’ house, that there would be no angry man to swing blows of vague rage at them, or someone to yell at John, scream obscenities at himself. But his heart could not rest if he had to tear his eyes away from his little brother longer than five minutes. He knew that if he told Charles that, then the teen would probably laugh at him, tell him he’s being unreasonable. He already wished that he didn’t have to be like this, that he couldn’t will his mind to be relaxed as his body was walking around in the house. Even Charles’ smile couldn’t stop the alarms from ringing in his body.

“I…I know that it’s just…”

He struggled, as he usually did. Couldn’t get the words out and already regretting attempting to fix whatever he thought was wrong. What was wrong? Everything.

Charles still kept on smiling though.

“It’s okay, I understand. He’s a smart kid.”

Arthur still stared at him, not quite believing in him still. His heart thumping in his chest. Charles, he was waiting for Charles to get angry. He knew how to respond to anger, but even still, he chose to be nice to him. Just like he always had been. He didn’t even give off the vibe that he was irritated. Fed up with him, regretting his choice to induct him into the cool kids club.

Charles just turned to John and called out to him, “John, we’ll be upstairs for a minute, if you need us just knock okay?”

John didn’t even so much as move his finger when responding to Charles. Arthur could believe the boy was raised with an Xbox his whole life.

“Okay!”

And then the sound of him hacking mercilessly at whatever poor monster tried to come at his brother. Charles looked back at Arthur, his face twisted as if he was proving his point. John was safe, and so was he. Arthur thought that if he was so adamant about this, then maybe he could relax just for a bit. They headed up the stairs and walked into Charles’ room. Javier was sat on the floor, finishing off the joint he’d just finished rolling. He perked up at the sight of his best friend walking into the room.

“Charles, just in time!”

He brandished the immaculate roll and Arthur felt that he’d witnessed a god in the making. Javier, aside from Charles, was one of the most popular guys in the school. Javier smiled at him nonetheless, but it wasn’t as wide as his grin for Charles.

“Arthur, right?”

Arthur’s face flushed a very deep shade of red and he flicked his eyes over to his friend and then back down at Javier. He nodded, tongue-tied.

“You know my name?”

“Course I do, you’re friends with Tilly?”

He was reminded of the way the girl wrapped her arms around him and sincerely told him how much she missed him when he took Charles to get his homework. How all three of them missed him after he left. He couldn’t help but smile and feel something that he could almost call happiness. Even if they didn’t truly mean it and were just attempting to save face in front of their peers, those weren’t words he heard often and he truly cared for her and the rest of the girls. Arthur was surprised to hear that Javier even spoke to Tilly that closely. He only ever came into contact with him when Javier attempted to woo Tilly. Arthur could always tell that Tilly was sweet on him too, but for whatever reason, they never ended up dating. At least, not when he left. He hoped that changed in the time he was away.

“More like she were kind to me and ain’t shoo me away when I got too bothersome.”

This was the second time Arthur attempted to make a joke, attempted to be normal for once and to try and make others laugh, and everyone in the room just gave him a look in return. A look like what he said was sad and that’s all. His father would usually tell him to shut up and now he understood why. Charles started talking, and the other two were relieved for the shift in atmosphere.

“Javi, is it okay if we use your bong?”

Javier smiled, all too happy to use his baby. He pointed to the purple and green iridescent bong resting on Charles’ desk. Charles hobbled over and picked it up, showing it to Arthur.

“You ever used this before?”

“No, I was looking them up one night though, just to see how much they cost. Too rich for my blood.”

Javier nodded.

“I hear you, that was a gift from my sister on my sixteenth birthday. First bong I ever had and only one I want.”

“I got a bowl, she ain’t much but…she always get the job done.” 

Javier nodded like he agreed and Arthur was pleased with himself. He wasn’t going to kiss Javier’s ass, but he would much prefer it if Javier regarded him as more than that weird boy that Tilly and now Charles hung out with. Javier patted the space next to him.

“Come, pop a squat Arthur. Charles, you know where the grinder is, right?”

Charles was already popping open Javier’s grinder and sprinkling the weed in the bowl.

“Of course I do.”

Javier laughed and then turned his attention back to the very awkward Arthur sitting down across from him.

“Charles told me you brought your little brother.”

Arthur found himself huddling closer to Charles, who was freshly settled on the floor and didn’t seem to mind the close contact in the slightest. The bowl was already half-packed, he was sprinkling the rest of it in. Arthur liked watching him do that, it reminded him of when they smoked that night. Arthur felt so daring, bold even to sneak out of his house like that. Selfish, when he considered that he left John alone even if he was just across the street. Charles was pressing the weed in to make sure the bowl was packed.

She was packed. And Charles was very good with his hands.

“Yeah. Reckon Charles replaced me as his favorite.”

“Oh, come on, Arthur. You know that’s not true.”

Arthur scoffed and then grumbled nothing coherent under his breath. Sometimes Charles was too nice to him.

Javier smiled, his eyes glanced over at his bong before he looked back at Arthur.

“You should put some cold water in it, for Arthur.”

Charles looked at Javier and then at Arthur with a pensive stare. Arthur felt like Charles was reading something from him that he couldn’t see or feel and he started to tense up. His hands were clenched together and he tried not to make direct eye contact for fear that whatever his friend was gathering from him (his energy?) he should let him do it in peace. Charles hummed and then whipped his head back to his best friend.

“Arthur’s fine. I smoked with him not too long ago, he took some pretty sick rips from his bowl.”

Arthur couldn’t fight the smile that made itself apparent on his lips. Charles liked smoking with him! He could feel the heat in his cheeks but he sincerely hoped that his face hadn’t gone red or else he felt that his euphoria would soon turn into him dying of embarrassment. It seemed to have gone unnoticed (or unmentioned) and Charles and Javier were back to talking about the cyph that was soon to take place.

“Well, let’s put that to test then. You want to take first hit Arthur?”

Arthur blinked. He looked like a deer in headlights and tried not to react when he saw the other two chuckle. He had to keep reminding himself that they were already geeked and anything was hilarious to them.

“I feel like I’m having déjà vu.”

Javier quirked a brow up.

“Is that right?”

“I were here before with my friend Sadie, they rolled a joint while I were out walking Copper. They…um they let me have first hit even though I ain’t do nothing to deserve it.”

Charles sighed and looked at Arthur with a softness, Arthur wished he didn’t have to see. He wasn’t someone that deserved it.

“I let you have it because you were nice enough to walk my dog while I fucked around and rolled a joint. It doesn’t matter who hits it first, we’re all gonna get it.”

Arthur ducked his head to show that he was sorry for being difficult and went to go get the bong and light it but paused just before the flame hit the weed. His brows furrowed.

“There ain’t no water in this.”

The two goofballs immediately broke out into laughter and Arthur frowned a bit. It wasn’t much fun being the sober one in a group. The two were on the floor, about ready to keel over and die from laughter.

“I’m just going to---” Arthur grunted as he stood up without breaking the bong, “head on downstairs and fill this up. Cold water you said?”

Javier nodded, tears streaming down his face as he still howled laughter.

“Cold…if you---if you want to…oh Jesus!” He could barely keep it together. Charles managed to collect himself enough that he finished where Javier left off. Arthur could see why the two were the best of friends. Charles wiped the two tears that were trickling down his face as he caught his breath. Javier slowly following in his lead.

“You can do it without water but…I don’t know if your throat would like that. Cold is the best because…it’s smooth. And we like smooth.”

Arthur chuckled and moved to open the door.

“That we do.”

He left and closed the door promptly, heading downstairs. He was immediately reminded of Copper and his footsteps were just a bit faster, no doubt the dog either ran away or was begging to be let in and already plotting his revenge by shitting in everybody’s shoes. Sans, John’s, of course. His fears went unfounded because Copper was sitting on the sofa with John, while the boy dutifully picked away at some rocks in Minecraft. Arthur quickly went to the kitchen sink and filled the bong up enough so that no one’s lungs were going to collapse off the first hit. He let it sit on the counter before going back to check on John. His eyes wandered over to the creation John was making.

“What are you making?”

Arthur was prepared to be ignored again and immediately regretted asking but to his surprise, John answered.

“A house.”

Arthur wished that such a simple response didn’t make his heart almost pop out of his chest but was he ever glad that John finally spoke to him. Not shouted, not screamed at him, or grunted, _spoke_. Arthur wasn’t sure whether or not to speak back to him to keep the conversation going, but, as always, when it came to his brother he acted before he thought. His mouth was already shooting off, desperate to keep momentum.

“It’s nice.”

“Thanks.”

John didn’t even so much as turn to look at him, but Arthur didn’t mind nor did he even really care. What he wanted to hear was his baby brother’s voice again. He smiled, wanting very badly to keep going but then remembered the bong that was resting on the counter losing its chill. He felt torn doing that, but John was so into his game that he was hardly going to miss Arthur going back up the stairs. Arthur made his way back to Charles’ room and found the two about to smoke the joint. He quickly shut the door and waved the bong carefully so that they could see it in his hands. Charles sputtered and Javier quickly took the joint out of his mouth.

“Arthur! Where the hell did you go?”

“Downstairs to fill the bong up?”

Their faces filled with realization and they shared a comical look with each other. Charles chuckled and gave the joint back to Javier.

“Oh shit. We forgot.”

Arthur lifted the bong up again.

“Y’all sure you want to keep smoking? You know weed overdose a thing.”

Charles shook his head.

“We smoke smart.”

Arthur felt like, if he wanted to, he could be the one to scold them, but seeing as he was about to take a hit of a bong he wasn’t one to judge. They certainly smoked without him before and they were grown enough to take care of themselves. Arthur really wished that his only company wasn’t a child in times like these.

He sighed and sat down with them, he gave the bong to Javier.

“I ain’t never used one of these before, I put enough water in it?”

Javier put his lips on the mouthpiece and took a faux hit off of it. He gave a thumbs up before pulling away.

“The water didn’t hit my lips so yeah, it should be fine.”

Arthur flashed a clueless look to Charles and the teen replied just by reading Arthur’s mind.

“Too much water in the bong isn’t good.”

“Oh. Well.”

The water started bubbling again and Javier pulled away and exhaled air.

“Javi, you didn’t light it. And you said Arthur would get first hit.”

Javier started laughing again, although not nearly so gripped in hysterics like last time. He slid the bong to Arthur and Charles placed the lighter in his hands and started talking.

“Light it and then pull as hard as you can. When the smoke fills the bong, pull the bowl out like this---and then just…just suck the shit out of it.”

Arthur nodded, already moving to light the bowl, his mouth securely on the mouthpiece. Just like he was instructed, he pulled the bowl out of the bong and inhaled the milky white cloud of smoke that filled the glass. He was used to smoking a tiny hand-held bowl and foolishly thought to inhale just like he would that. He pulled away, trying to exhale as much as possible before going into a coughing fit. Charles patted his back while he hacked up a lung. The two teens were chuckling, but it didn’t seem like it was to be malicious.

“There we go! Just breathe.”

When Arthur was able to collect himself he wheezed out, “My lungs have surely gone black after that.”

Javier waved him off.

“Nah, but you know what just happened?”

Arthur looked at Javier, his eyes were low and red, he had a lazy smile plastered to his face. Even though it wasn’t Arthur’s first time smoking, and he coughed half of the smoke out, he could feel the high creeping in.

“What happened?”

That wasn’t the best question to ask him, his anxiety was unpredictable and the last thing that needed to happen was that he ruined everyone’s high by having a panic attack. But Charles and Javier didn’t look worried, in fact, Javier’s smile grew into a grin and Charles moved from patting his back to rubbing small circles in it. It felt nice. Better than Dutch could ever do.

“Arthur, you’ve just been inducted.”

Arthur’s lowered eyes widened as much as they could to show his amazement.

“You mean?”

Charles nodded and removed his hand.

“You smoked from Javi’s bong. You’re one of us now.”

Arthur was filled with so much euphoria that he looked down at the bong and then back up at them.

“Can I have another hit then?”

Charles was already moving to light the bowl for him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry if this update took a while, I've been dealing with health issues (remember when I said I was having anxiety last month? lolll it turned into physical symptoms) but besides that I'm going to try to update at a more frequent rate before classes start again! 
> 
> Thank you all for reading and I hope you enjoy the chapter.


	41. Chapter 41

Arthur hadn’t been this high since he first smoked. He wasn’t really sure how it happened, he had the first hit, then the second, after the bong made a full rotation he ended up taking another rip from it and then he knew that he reached his limit. Charles and Javier kept going. Charles tapped out after the third rotation leaving the spoils to the victor which was Javier.

“Ah, Charles come on, we used to smoke this for hours when we were freshmen.”

“We have been smoking for hours, that’s why I need to cool it for a minute. John’s downstairs too so…you know consideration.”

Javier’s eyes lit up at the mention of John. Arthur found it slightly comforting that he was so excited about his little brother.

“Is he still playing Minecraft?”

Arthur shrugged, trying to recall how long ago it was that he went downstairs. Whatever strain he just smoked it was potent as hell and it was definitely a hybrid, the sativa and the indica making him both relaxed yet energetic.

“He was last I went down there.”

“Yeah, he can play that for so long. I get a headache after a while but John…he’s good.”

Arthur laughed at Charles’ compliment. He and John got on really well after only meeting a handful of times. But if you were to ask John, Charles was his literal hero for hopping in front of that car. It felt like so long ago. Javier got up and placed his bong back on the edge of Charles’ desk, dusting his pants off.

“I want to see what he’s making. I have a world I’ve been working on, might show him.”

He started walking over to the door, Arthur turned to face him urgently.

“John don’t take too kindly to strangers, it’s best if you just let him start talking to you.”

Arthur really would’ve preferred it if Javier left him alone to play downstairs, but he knew that was just the overprotection running its course through him. John was getting older, and it was starting to become inevitable that he would have to get used to strangers. He knew that Javier meant no harm, Charles was friends with good people, he was a good person after all.

“Copy that!”

Javier left, closing the door behind him. Arthur had half a mind to get up and go down there just to see if John was comfortable with company. But the weed was calming him down, rendering him effectively stuck to the floor. He wondered if Charles would be okay with letting him nap on the floor for a bit if he got too tired to walk across the street. He was sure John wouldn’t mind being here for the whole night.

Charles rubbed at his eyes, Arthur could see the way the weed worked through him and made him calmer tired. Arthur was lying if he said that weed didn’t sometimes make him anxious, doubly-so if he found himself smoking around people he didn’t know. He was used to being with Charles at this point, and despite him constantly reminding himself that Javier was nice, kind to those that Charles and Tilly liked, he still couldn’t help but desire that need of being liked. He wanted friends badly, and he missed Karen, Mary-Beth, and Tilly something awful. Maybe he could call them, but they were busy girls and they moved on with their life, he was only a temporary part of it.

“Arthur, you okay?”

Charles’ voice rang throughout his ears and he suddenly felt all the bad thoughts expel from his mind when he heard him. He nodded before he could even really think about the question. He was alright, he was happy to be with Charles and Javier, he was happy that John spoke to him and that he was downstairs safe and happy with Copper and now Javier. He supposed that, for the moment he was okay.

“You get really quiet sometimes.”

Charles’ eyes were red and low, his smile was permanently stuck on his face. Arthur ducked his head and returned a less-confident smile at him. He would start trying to emulate Charles more, smile like him, be calmer like him.

“I ain’t realized that before.”

“You don’t have to be. Not when you’re here with me, you know.”

Arthur focused his smile less on exuding confidence and more on showing his gratitude for Charles’ reassuring words.

“What are you thinking about right now?”

Ah. Charles was high enough that he was veering dangerously close into “pothead philosophy”. Arthur had never experienced that before, and he would love for Charles to be his first. What was he thinking about? Arthur found himself having a lot of thoughts, mostly about the state of his life. Dutch offered him freedom by moving him out of his father’s house. But then what about John? He thought about the fact that at some point he was probably going to get his diploma, maybe go to community college and try to find another career. As much as Pearson praised him for his customer service skills, he needed a better paying job if he was going to continue on housing and feeding himself and his brother, and John’s appetite been growing something awful as of late. He just reminded himself that he had to go grocery shopping soon, and he wasn’t sure that he could even afford it this week on account that he had to buy gas soon and--

“Arthur.”

Arthur blinked and followed the sound of Charles’ voice until he saw those lovely brown eyes.

“Yes?”

“You’re doing it again.”

He searched Charles’ face for any sign of annoyance and when he found none, he thought even harder about whether or not speaking would have those feelings surface.

“Sorry.”

“Don’t be. I just don’t want you to feel uncomfortable.”

“Reckon I can’t ever feel uncomfortable around you.”

Charles smiled and it stirred something tender within Arthur. It filled him with a sense of longing too, maybe even a bit of regret. Dutch had never smiled at him that way.

“So…what goes on in that head of yours? It’s okay if you don’t want to talk—”

“Right now? I reckon my mind’s wandering to you.”

That seemed to stop Charles dead in his tracks. Arthur chuckled at the way Charles’ mouth gaped at the interjection, but he really wanted to get it off his chest. They were alone, and he couldn’t hear John racing up the stairs to be with him, Javier was going to be down there a while if Arthur was to judge by the potent Indica settling in. For once there weren’t going to be any interruptions and Arthur didn’t have to worry. Charles and his home was the only place that Arthur felt he didn’t have to seize with panic and terror, and he didn’t need weed to feel that difference either. In almost no time, Charles tried to school his expression into something much cooler than before. Arthur didn’t have the heart to tell him that he was failing. Miserably, actually. But seeing as how Charles wasn’t upset that he said that, or that he wasn’t yelling for him to shut up, or diverting the conversation to be about him, he figured that he should keep talking.

“I don’t mean nothing funny by it, it’s the opposite actually. I like…I like being around you, being with you, Charles. You kind to me, you know? Ever since we was kids you…somehow always end up being kind to me. Don’t really know why for neither. I ain’t do nothing to deserve that.”

Charles looked unhappy, but Arthur couldn’t really find the words for what he looked like. He kicked himself. He should’ve just shut up, this is why no one ever lets him talk for longer than a minute. He hated that no matter what he always found some way to make a situation worse, or to make someone he cares about uncomfortable. Maybe he should pack another bowl for the two of them, but Charles looked high enough, any more and he would pass out and be comatose right there on the spot. Arthur felt that his head was just about ready to explode but just as the bomb was nearing detonation, Charles voice came like the perfect gust of wind to put the lit wick out.

“I truly despise the person that made you feel that way about yourself, Arthur.”

And just as the unidentifiable crossness went over his face, Arthur found it replaced with a gentle sadness. Sadness on behalf of himself. He’s never seen anything like it.

And still, Arthur tries to speak, tries to say something to prove to Charles, no, _he_ was in the wrong for trying to redeem a person that was unredeemable to everyone else. But Charles kept talking and Arthur did as he had always done and listened. He reckoned he could listen to Charles speak for days if he’d let him.

“You know that you do deserve kindness, right? Everyone does. I don’t know…I don’t know who’s been feeding you this bullshit that you aren’t deserving of basic decency but…just don’t listen to them anymore, okay? I’m telling you that I didn’t become your friend out of pity or whatever. I became your friend because I…well….I….”

“Yes, Charles?”

Charles looked shy all of a sudden, like the weed was something like a truth serum on him. Arthur thought about Wonder Woman, and her lasso of truth. Maybe she was hiding somewhere in his room, the rope firmly thrown around Charles’ body.

“I like you, Arthur. Okay? I like you…I like you a lot.”

Arthur wasn’t quite sure what to make of that. His brain always had a penchant for overthinking, and with a sentence like that, so bold, so raw, he could combust trying to decipher what that meant in his hazy head right now. But what he couldn’t ignore was the way it made his heart skip a beat. The way it made him want to blush like a school girl. However Charles meant that, it flattered and touched Arthur in a way that not many people have. Dutch says a lot of nice things to him, he calls him his dear boy, he says that he’s handsome near every chance he got. The first time they met Dutch told him that crying didn’t suit someone as gorgeous as him and he felt giddy just recounting the memory. But then here came Charles, smiling at him the way he always had, laughing with him, inviting him over to his place without expecting something in return from him. There was seldom a time after he met Dutch that they didn’t end up having some form of sexual contact. Arthur never really minded it, he loved Dutch and he was with enough people to know that that was just something people did when they were together. But Charles, Charles always smiled at him and touched him and Arthur had always felt comfortable just like that. He hoped he did the same for Charles.

Charles was smiling at him now, his body looked like it was getting heavier, and that he was mostly ready for a nap despite it being the middle of the day. Charles was sitting with his hands sprawled out, his left hand being dangerously close to Arthur’s. No, not dangerous, comfortably close.

Charles was comfort to him like no one else, and he always had been since kindergarten. In fact, now seemed like the perfect time to tell him that.

“Wow…Charles….I, well, reckon I like you a lot too. Just as I always did when we first met. I wonder though, do you…you ever think about that day?”

Arthur had already braced himself to be heart-broken, he had been accustomed to the feeling so many times, he figured that it wouldn’t be any different from now even if it was Charles that was the one to do it. Every one breaks his heart eventually. Mary had done it, Albert had done it, he had a hunch that Dutch was soon to do it, it wouldn’t be much of a difference if his only friend in the world were to do it too.

“I think about it all the time.”

Arthur thought that he was thinking aloud, that Charles’ answer was a mere reflection of his own. There was seldom a day where Arthur didn’t have some flashback to the day that Charles saved him, befriended him. He dare not think too much of it before he ruined that for himself, just as he did everything else. But for now, he figured that he could let himself feel happy in this moment, content, warm. Safe enough that he could answer with a simple two words and all would be okay. So that’s just what he did. With a smile and a newfound twinkle in his eyes, he stared Charles directly into his own and as tender as he could make his voice he replied.

“Me too.”

He felt the tip of Charles’ fingers, brushing against his own. He did nothing to stop it but the thought of Dutch being cross flashed across his mind before being briefly ignored. He was happy, and he managed to make Charles happy too, and for the moment, that was enough.

 _He_ was enough.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ooooo what do you guys think? Do you think Charles confessed? Tell me your thoughts for the upcoming chapters! 
> 
> Also, classes started up again so updates might be just a bit slower!


	42. Chapter 42

_“I like you, Arthur. Okay? I like you…I like you a lot.”_

Was that enough? Had he needed to say more? Charles always had the penchant to either say not enough or nothing at all in situations like this. When people he cared about needed him. He always tried to deliver as best he knew how. With his mother, with his father, and now with Arthur who looked more grateful than touched to be reaffirmed with their…whatever it was.

He should’ve just came right out and said it. Told Arthur that he loved him. With the rush of being high and the serenity of being comfortable and stuck to his floor, he figured that this was good a time as any.

Arthur’s blue-green eyes brightened and the corners of his mouth soon joined him in producing a smile that could rival even the sun on its brightest day. Charles was glad that he could make someone feel that way. His own mother had been that for him, but then she left and his dad tried but soon learned that he could not fill the hole in his heart that had the distinct shape of his mother long gone. He knew that Arthur didn’t have a mother either, and there filled within him a sense of connection, of solace knowing that he wasn’t the oddball out living with a single parent. People were raised without dads all the time, but moms…moms weren’t supposed to leave.

“I should go on and check on John…you think he’s alright?”

Charles figured that Arthur could drink to the point of being blacked out and still he would be asking after his little brother. Charles had always wanted a little brother. Or a sister, it mattered little to him he just wanted some company. Arthur’s eyes were red and low, but there wasn’t enough weed in the world to make Charles miss that determined look that Arthur tended to wear, whether he noticed or not.

“I don’t hear any commotion downstairs. I’m sure he’s okay. Javi’s a good guy.”

Arthur chuckled, finding humor where Charles couldn’t.

“I know you, Charles. You only friends with good people. How I made that cut, we’ll never know…”

“Arthur you know full well how you made the cut.”

Arthur shrugged, he didn’t look willing to ruin the carefully crafted moment between the two of them neither. Charles could feel his pinky dusting the tip of Arthur’s own. When he looked down, he could see just how close their hands were to touching. They got quiet after a while. But Charles could see the way Arthur’s sprawled out leg would start shaking, the thigh jiggling with each tremor. He was bursting at the seams not being able to be near John. He wouldn’t stop Arthur if he really felt the need to go downstairs. Arthur’s eyes were scanning the room, stopping every so often to lock onto something while he spaced out. It seemed to Charles like his friend wanted very badly to be anxious, but the weed was doing its very best to counteract that. He was glad that it was working. Arthur had enough, finally of pretending that everything was okay and then turned to Charles.

“We can go downstairs if it’ll give you a piece of mind.”

Arthur’s cheeks flushed, and he dipped his head in the same fashion Copper would when he was deferring to Charles.

“Sorry…”

“It’s really okay. We can go see what chaos they’re causing down there. I’m curious to see how John’s mansion is coming along.”

“His mansion?”

Charles grunted as he stood up. He’d been parked on that floor for far too long, he’d been reluctant to get his crutches to move around so he figured that it would be easier for him to spend his time on the relatively clean carpet rather than subject himself to anymore torture provided to him by his walking aids. Who thought that jabbing two pieces of rubber under someone’s arms was comfortable in the slightest?

“Yeah, the last time he was here, he started building a large house. I was finishing up some of the homework I had to do anyway, which reminds me, Javi brought the schoolwork I got to catch up on this week so you don’t have to.”

Arthur just blinked, only able to focus on tinier sentences at the moment. Charles just smiled and hopped over to his crutches before hobbling back over to Arthur. He extended his hand.

“Need a lift?”

Arthur’s brows furrowed.

“Knock it off, I already got you hurt, I ain’t about to send you back to the hospital cause I made you fall again.”

“You ain’t going to make me fall. I’m tough, I can handle you.”

Charles, before he could even stop and really think about it, winked, his hand still extended. Arthur would do well to realize that he could also be pretty stubborn when he wanted to be. As well as bold.

Charles would wink a million more times if it meant he could make Arthur’s cheeks tinge that beautiful blush that he was so fond of. Between focusing on the sudden wink, and him maintaining his balance while supporting himself on the crutches, the flush to Arthur’s cheeks made Charles see that they were a bit gaunt. Arthur was eating, right? John looked fine, like the picture of health if Charles were a doctor. Arthur on the other hand…

“Well, since you insisting.”

Arthur grabbed Charles’ hand, and despite the fact that Arthur was once able to hoist him up the stairs when he first got back from the hospital, Charles, admittedly, wasn’t putting all of his weight onto the tired teen. Arthur was easy enough to haul from his own spot on the carpet and that made Charles just sink farther into his thoughts about Arthur’s own health and well-being. Arthur hadn’t stopped worrying about Charles since the moment he caught up with him in the hospital. Arthur worried over everyone but himself.

“I’m heading downstairs, you coming right?”

The look on Arthur’s face was hopeful, like he didn’t want to be alone in the short trek it would take to walk down the hall and the stairs to clap eyes on his brother. Arthur always looked like a part of him feared being alone for even a second, Charles can never erase the plain fear that was on his face their first day of kindergarten. The way a tinier, scrawnier Arthur clung to the corner of the wall, just by the entrance of the school, it made young Charles’ heart break and even now all these years later to see Arthur wear that face so well as if he’d never truly stopped, it made his chest ache even more. Charles nodded, and let Arthur lead the way. Their feet heavy walking down the stairs, the two were met with the sight of John hopping up and down with Copper matching the excitable energy.

“Get him! Get him Javier, get him!”

Javier was now leaning forward, feet firmly planted on the floor while he was holding the controller as if it were going to explode if he dropped it. He was rocking back and forth, eyes fixed completely on the creeper that was harassing John’s character.

“Creeper! He’s a creeper!”

Arthur stopped in his tracks for a moment, glazed over eyes smiling fondly as he watched John about to cave the floor in from his jumping. John’s tiny arm was outstretched and his finger was pointing accusingly at the enemy in question. Charles watched as Javier was thoroughly beating its ass. He was very impressed, to say the least.

“I hardly ever see him get this worked up about something.”

Charles saw the smile on Arthur’s face falter slightly at his own statement. This should be a good thing then, seeing John so excited. Charles always sees the boy this worked up nearly every time he’s over. Granted, it’s because the boy is always plastered to his gaming consoles the minute he steps over the threshold of the doorway. Arthur’s always concerned about money, so Charles doubts that they have anything in their house that would warrant this much entertainment. He made a quick mental note to ask Arthur for John’s birthday. His dad didn’t have much qualms with giving him money whenever he asked for it, on account that Charles always made it a point to not ask him and just took the random jobs wherever he could find it. His dad was always proud of him for “being so mature to not rely on him all the time for money, and to take matters into his own hands if he could”. Of course, this didn’t mean that his dad would rather him find his own source of finances, but to Lawrence Smith, it marked that he somehow didn’t fail his only child in the way he was raised, despite all they’ve been through.

“All you have to do is place him in front of an Xbox and he goes absolutely feral.”

Arthur laughed, but hid it behind his hand. Whether to hide his presence from John or his amusement from Charles, the teen didn’t know.

“I take it that mean he comfortable around you.”

“And Javier.”

Javier was now joining John in jumping up and down as he was now aggressively fleeing from an enderman.

“It won’t go away!”

“Cause you looked at it funny! Run Javier, run!”

Copper was fully supportive as usual and giving the occasional yips and boofs to let the two know that whatever was happening, he was staunchly on their side. Charles could feel the crutches start to chafe and his body was getting heavy from the fatigue that was suddenly washing over him. He nudged Arthur, who was watching his little brother intently. Like he wanted to be part of the fun but wasn’t sure how to go about it. Charles figured that maybe he was getting stuck too.

“Come on, let’s join them on the couch. These are starting to dig into my armpits.”

Arthur immediately started moving to go down the stairs, uttering a soft apology under his breath on his way down and Charles wished that he could somehow get Arthur to stop doing that. Ever since they met, the earliest memory he had of the two of them, Arthur always found a way to work “sorry” into his vocabulary and Charles always tried to find ways to discretely let Arthur know that he hadn’t done anything to warrant an apology. He was already gone, heading over to the couch, hopping past the television set while John loudly protested him to get out of the way, and was met with a constant stream of apologies while he made his way to the other couch and plopped down on the cushion, grabbing one of the pillows and hugging it tight to himself while he watched the thrilling battle. Charles himself wasn’t too far behind and Arthur, as helpful as ever, cleared a spot for him to sit down. Charles overshot his balance on the way down and he nearly landed on Arthur’s lap. The two shared a laugh, completely missed by Javier and John who were now loudly cheering as Javier won their hard-fought battle. John, turned to the two boys and pointed frantically at the screen.

“Did you see that, Charles? Did you? Javier totally wrecked them all!”

Javier raised his arms in triumph, and Charles couldn’t help but crack a smile at the way Javier looked smug as ever while his new friend paraded his efforts around as if they were truly the victor’s of a battle hard-fought. Arthur was smiling, and laughing.

Charles hadn’t seen Arthur’s teeth when he smiled in a long time. He was, as always stunning and that was something about him that wasn’t ever likely to change whenever Charles was around him. Dutch had better be treating Arthur with the love and patience that he deserves. If not, he didn’t see a reason why he couldn’t pick up where Dutch left off and show Arthur that he is, truly deserving of love. When Charles started fourth grade again, he was scared, nervous that he forgot how to socialize, how to be around people. Until that point, he’d only been around his mother, and his grandmother. On occasion, his father whenever he would turn up for a visit. For a long time it was just him around nothing but adults and he forgot how to be a kid. How to laugh to stupid internet memes, how to be happy about school lunch. No one else seemed to notice, but Arthur did. Arthur sat with him the first day back, and asked him where he was. Charles gave him the short of answer of “just with my mom” and Arthur didn’t ask any more than that. Then they sat, just the two of them at the lunch table, Arthur offering a piece of his peanut butter and jelly when Charles complained about not liking the hot lunch of ravioli given out. They played together at recess, Arthur found a frog and then Charles told him all the facts he knew about frogs and in that moment, Charles was having the most fun he ever had in all the time he’d been away from his best friend. His first love.

And it seemed like Arthur missed him a lot too.

“Go Javier!”

Arthur raised his arms high to mirror Javi’s stance, and gave just as energetic a cheer as his brother did. Charles could really see the family resemblance.

He joined in on the festivities and gave a loud, slow clap.

“You guys were working hard on this. Good job!”

Javier nodded and looked down at his new sidekick.

“I was working hard kicking enderman ass, but you have GOT to see John’s mansion!”

John, feeling just as complimentary, responded with, “My mansion would’ve been dust if Javier ain’t stepped in to save the day!”

Javier blushed and the only person that could ever make him react in such a way was Tilly. Maybe Arthur would like it if he invited the girls over too. Arthur looked like he missed them sorely the last time he went to the school. He couldn’t say the feeling wasn’t mutual either.

“I’m gonna make you a room, Javi!”

“Oh hell yeah!”

John took the controller back and started sprinting towards his mansion that was defended by his knight. The two went promptly back to ignoring Arthur and himself while they got busy designing Javi’s champion room. Charles moved to sit back again and scrunched up his face when his hand came into contact warm and fleshy. When he looked down, he saw that his hand was resting atop Arthur’s, the boy whose limb he was touching flushed at the unexpected contact.

But Charles noticed that he wasn’t pulling away.

He figured that they could sit like this, in this moment for just a little while longer. He was glad that Arthur felt the same.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay! Firstly, I want to apologize for not updating in so long, senior year's a bitch and then to make matters worse, I concussed myself and was out of the game for like two weeks and then to top it off this shitty pandemic happened so now I'm caught up in online classes and moving my stuff out of my dorm. 
> 
> I hope you guys enjoy this chapter and stay safe and healthy my friends!


	43. Chapter 43

Arthur doesn’t think he’s ever seen John this _happy_ around anyone that wasn’t his friends or himself. Of course he wasn’t sure if it was the Xbox or the company they kept at the moment that was really making him surge with this excitement, but for Arthur to say that he didn’t like seeing it would be a lie. A huge, massive lie. Arthur always worried about John. He didn’t need anyone else to remind him of it, to be rude and derisive about it like they knew anything about the life he lived with his little brother. But it was more than him mother-henning, it was that Arthur worried constantly about John’s health mentally. When John was a kid, old enough to smile and to react to things that made him happy, Arthur, not much older than him, still learning his multiplication table thought he’d help himself learn by counting how many times in a day John would smile. The highest number he thinks was around one-hundred. So then Arthur started counting his own smiles and it was half that amount. When he was at school, where the teachers let him use the computers during recess and lunchtime because he was just a “poor kid that didn’t have much in his house” he googled how many times a day a two-year-old smiles. He couldn’t find any numbers, but he was only nine then so what did he know about researching? All he knew was that toddlers like John were supposed to laugh and smile a lot, but he worried that maybe something went wrong somewhere, that one-hundred wasn’t a good enough number for him. So he asked the teachers if there were any math equations that could help find the right number of times in a day that his little brother was supposed to smile. They laughed and they smiled, they didn’t smile nearly as much as they should for third grade teachers and they told him what was important was that he was smiling at all. But it still made Arthur worried, so he went home and took care of pa just as he always did. Pa liked to have himself a cup of whiskey fixed up with some eggs and toast when he woke up from his nap. Back then their pa was out of a job, on account that he missed one too many days to be at his favorite stool in the bar. So he was home all the time, ma was dead, and all of that just added to the anger that pa already had inside him so little Arthur and even littler John had to do their best to make him happy.

John only smiled eight times that night. Once when he got his favorite food of ham and cheese sandwich, again when he got his dessert, a cup of applesauce that Arthur managed to sneak past the lunch ladies at school. And then twice when Arthur got him ready for a bath later that night. John couldn’t hear the way Lyle barked at Arthur because his toast was slightly burnt. Apparently trying to feed John wasn’t a good enough reason to get distracted and forget about his toast. John didn’t laugh when he saw Arthur cry while he was getting John’s pajamas on. Eight was the number that kept him up all night that night. He worried that he wasn’t making John happy enough, and that he would grow up and be unhappy and that it would be all his fault. Now here they were, all these years later and it still fills Arthur with relief and fear that every smile that John has, every laugh that John lets out, will somehow be his last. But John’s laughed at least ten times in the past five minutes, and hasn’t stopped smiling since they got to Charles’ house. Arthur can’t say the effect wasn’t contagious. Maybe it was the weed, maybe it was the companionship that Charles constantly provided for him. Maybe it was both,  but he was glad that at least, in this moment, for the first time in a very long time, he was able to enjoy himself. Even if it would be short-lived, even if this bubble that he carefully cultivated with the help of Charles, John, and even Javier would be mercilessly popped the moment he stepped over the threshold of Charles’ home, Arthur thought that there was always tomorrow. Then the day after that, and the day after that, and then the day after…

“Whoa! Nice job, John!”

Arthur’s mind suddenly came back from the ninth dimension it was in and he was snapped back into the reality of watching his little brother proudly show off his skills in Minecraft. He wasn’t sure how long it was since they came down to watch Javier and John face-off against the many (frankly dangerous) creatures that this seemingly harmless game had, but everyone looked like they were enjoying themselves and Arthur never did anything that didn’t make John happy. Except go on and get engaged to a man that John didn’t like.

There was the sound of another explosion and then John giving one of his infamous feral battle-cries. Arthur saw a little bubble pop up at the bottom of the screen.

“Oh, he got a trophy!”

Charles chuckled and nodded, Arthur didn’t miss the way that Charles gave his leg  a tap and still that thought always crossed his mind about what Dutch would think if he were here to bear witness to this. Just as quickly as it took his mind to conjure the thought, another came in just as hot that dismissed it with the conclusion that Dutch dislikes when anyone that isn’t him touches his precious Arthur and what’s more important was that _he_ liked it. Despite himself, he didn’t really have much intention on telling Charles to stop. Of course he would never do something like make-out with Charles or anything else of the like while he was still dating Dutch…there wasn’t anything wrong with two friends giving each other gentle touches, was there?

“He got an achievement! How many points is it?”

John’s eyes quickly scanned the notification before it went away.

“WOW! One-hundred points!”

Charles then clapped his hands together, Arthur already missing the heat that he gave off just from the simple contact but deciding to be adult about it.

“That’s really amazing!”

John grinned at Charles and Arthur added that to his ever-growing tallies of how many times John smiles in a day. It lulled for a bit, when John got old enough to see and live through their father’s monstrous behavior. Arthur blamed himself for that too. But Arthur supposed that was just in his nature, to blame himself for problems that he couldn’t solve. Pa would surely agree on that.

“Do you have an account?”

Javier’s voice piped in on the conversation. John, without missing a single-beat in constructing whatever it was that caught his fancy now, shook his head.

“I don’t got no Xbox at our house.”

Arthur felt guilty about that. He didn’t want to seem like a stickler to Javier, but he also didn’t feel the need to explain to every new person in their life that they were as close to dirt poor as one family could be and so items like game consoles were out of the question in terms of what Arthur considered essential to them staying sheltered, clothed and fed. He wasn’t an idiot he could see how much it made John happy, and he would be lying himself if he said that he couldn’t see the appeal in playing videogames. Javier didn’t look accusingly over at him. He let out the breath he didn’t realize he was holding. He looked around at the others in the living room. Nobody seemed upset with him.

“Maybe we can set you up with a profile?”

Javier looked over at Charles, as if trying to communicate a telepathic message. Charles received it loud and clear, leaving Arthur wishing that he could do that too while Charles motioned with his hand for John to come over to him.

“Here, let me set you up. You’re here enough, and you work hard to get those achievements so the least I can do is give you an account.”

John looked as if Charles and Javier blessed his very soul. He looked to Arthur quickly, forgetting once again that he was supposed to be fuming with him, acting as if his very presence was enough to send him rolling into an early grave. But there still lie within him, that need for Arthur’s approval. Arthur did what he’d always done in these situations and smiled and nodded. John immediately bounded over to Charles and handed the controller over to him like he was bestowing a legendary sword to a warrior.

“I already got a cool name I been thinking about!”

“Oh yeah? What’s that?”

“I found this book in my class…I want my gamertag to be Rip Van Winkle!”

All of the older boys in the room looked down at him. Charles halting his typing to look down at the over-eager boy.

Arthur would’ve been the first to say something, but he couldn’t risk the embarrassment of being ignored in front of everyone, and he also just didn’t want to deal with the hurt of it again. John already spoke to him once and it was because he was caught up in the heat of the moment of his game. He just got lucky that time and if Arthur knew anything about himself, it’s that he’s one unlucky feller.

“John…you can make your gamertag anything you want you know. What about Johnny Boy?”

Arthur was more partial to that than Rip Van Winkle, but then again it wasn’t his account, and John was of the mind that if Arthur didn’t like it then he was definitely going to go through with it.

“I want it to be Rip Van Winkle! Don’t it sound cool? Imagine getting owned by me and then having to say Rip Van Winkle killed you!”

Javier laughed.

“I like it!”

“Thank you Javier!”

Charles sighed and then looked over at Arthur as if he was the final say in this matter. Arthur shrugged and said, “It’s his account, I guess.”

Charles looked back at John.

“John, this is permanent you know.”

“What you need a number? RipVanWinkle99.”

Charles couldn’t help but let out a small laugh at John’s obliviousness to what everyone else’s issue was with his chosen gamertag, but Arthur really was okay with it. It wasn’t the worst an eleven-year-old could come up with, and he was sure that it would’ve been worse if he was with Sean. The sound of the keyboard being used was the only noise before a window popped up thanking Charles for inputting a name. Then an avatar came up. Charles handed the controller back over to John.

“Alright little buddy, now it’s time for you to make your avatar.”

John, opting to sit on the carpet with Copper for this, leant in and stuck his tongue out. A sign that Arthur knew well but only seen when John actually endeavored to care about his homework which was, unfortunately, rare. The three teens looked on for a little before Javier turned to Charles and Arthur with a grin on his face. He pointed to upstairs and then made a faux smoking motion. Arthur’s brows raised and he mouthed, “Again?” to Javier, as if that was somehow going to make him see reason. He was sure that the two could handle their weight in weed, Arthur, had never smoked with anyone before Charles and was only used to smoking a bowl a night. He was sure that was lightwork to the revered stoners. Charles sighed and then looked down at Copper, who was starting to get antsy. He kept pushing his nose into John’s side, John trying his very best to keep Copper entertained while trying to make his avatar perfect.

“Tell you what, we can go back upstairs after Copper gets a walk.”

Javier groaned and looked down at the dog who was unbearably adorable. Arthur was moving to get up and fetch the leash. He’d already been so used to walking the dog (although he’d been lacking as of late) and so scarred by having to clean up Copper’s spiteful piss and shit attacks that whenever someone even casually mentions the dog needing a walk, Arthur’s pavlovian bell goes off in his head that he needs to take the not-always-good boy out for a stroll. Just when he had gotten the pillow off his lap and was moving to get up, Arthur felt Charles’ strong grip wrap around his wrist. Charles was smiling though.

“How about we let Javier and John walk Copper?”

Arthur immediately hated the sound of that and already started shaking his head.

“It’s alright, I can give him a quick jog around the block and—”

Javier jumped in, “It’ll be alright, John and I can talk more about Minecraft or something. I’ve walked Coppie a few times. He’s a bit of an asshole but I can work around that.”

John giggled at the profanity and sometimes Arthur wishes that he would grow up a little.

Arthur still wasn’t sure. John and Javier were becoming fast friends, but John wasn’t too comfortable being around people he didn’t know.  

“Are you okay with that John?”

John nodded but then looked back at his half-finished avatar.

“Our pa’s gonna be home soon, am I going to have time to finish it?”

Charles nodded.

“It’s only going to take you a few minutes, just until Copper uses the bathroom.”

Javier nudged John a little.

“Yeah, don’t worry, I’ll make it fun for you. Now come on, let’s bounce!”

John, completely taken by Javier, set the controller down and hopped up, motioning at Copper for him to do the same.

“You want to go for a walk, boy?”

Copper, understanding exactly what’s being said bounded up and over to the door in the blink of an eye, a stark contrast from the lethargic pupper that was about minutes away from falling asleep next to John. Javier came from the kitchen with the leash and fastened it around the dog’s neck in record time. John swung the door open and Copper nearly sent Javier reeling over the threshold. John was laughing as he gave Charles a wave and closed the door. The two let out a sigh like they were exhausted parents trying to get the kids out of the house. Well, Arthur always felt that way when he was taking care of John on account that sometimes that boy had too much energy for his own good. Too much energy, and Arthur a stunning lack of it thanks to standing on his feet all day working at McDonald’s.

“Is John usually like this?”

Arthur’s first reaction was offense, because he’d been asked that by so many people that didn’t know his little brother, strangers, teachers, and acquaintances alike. But seeing as how Charles had gotten closer to John than a lot of folks had, Arthur figured that there wasn’t much use in trying to play it off as the boy being a saint because…well, sometimes that just wasn’t in his nature.

“I want to say yes, but he don’t act like this unless he real worked up about something.”

“Is that good or bad?”

Arthur shrugged and sighed, growing increasingly tired of the direction he assumed this conversation was going to go. He cared a great deal for Charles, but he cared for his brother even more. Even if John didn’t want to believe it.

“It just is what it is. His mood swing a lot, can’t really make heads nor tails of it sometimes. Today…today I reckon he’s okay.”

“But…he hasn’t spoken to you.”

“He said a word to me, but not much more than that. I caught him while he were playing that…Minecraft? Asked him something about the house and he answered, don’t think he would’ve if I’d done that any other time.”

“You really got to talk to him, Arthur. He’s a kid, he’s not going to stop being mad about it unless you take initiative.”

Arthur didn’t much like that. He knew that it was Charles talking to him, but he’d always been of the mind that whatever went down between family stayed within the family.

“Charles…I appreciate what you trying to do but what’s going on between me and John…I’d be happier if stayed between me and John.”

“I get it, and I’m not trying to tell you what to do, I’m just saying this…” Charles’ finger pointed to the empty spot on the couch and then to Arthur just to drive his point across, “This ain’t going to end any time soon if you’re just waiting for him to cave.”

Arthur hated that Charles was right.

“Way I figure it, he got a lot of anger in him right now. John…he sometimes needs um….help with his feelings and I like to give him space to figure out how he feeling before I tell him how to feel, you know?”

Charles just smiled at him, and it looked sad and dangerously close to like he was feeling sorry for them. Arthur knows they spent a reasonable time apart but he knew more than anyone that he did not take too kindly to those that pitied him and his family.

“I don’t think that’s wrong. In fact, I think that’s something a lot of adults should do with their kids, but maybe John will react a little better to the situation if he understood where you were coming from with this. I’m not gonna lie to you Arthur, it kind of hurts seeing you two like this. I know John’s hurting just like you are.”

Arthur scoffed and waved a dismissive hand in the air.

“John never liked Dutch. Dutch…”

Charles’ neck bent and his face went serious in a way that it never does unless he’s truly distressed about something.

“Arthur if you’re about to say what I think you are, you don’t see the problem with that?”

“With what?”

Charles stared Arthur real hard in his eyes and when he was sure they were firmly fixed on his, he spoke again.

“Were you about to say Dutch doesn’t like John?”

Arthur had been repeating that to people so many times when describing his boyfriend that he hadn’t ever really paid attention to what he was saying until he heard someone else say the words themselves. It did sound kind of upsetting when he thought about it. He smiled though, like he was walking on eggshells.

“Well, I don’t mean it quite like that….I ain’t too good with words, you know that.”

“Says the boy that always managed to get the best grades in English.”

Arthur wasn’t too sure how to respond to that. Charles didn’t sound upset, but Arthur always found a way to upset people. He could make a saint lose his cool if he gabbed enough.

“Arthur, if John and Dutch really don’t get along, maybe there’s more to him acting like a brat about your engagement…assuming you are still engaged.”

Arthur’s brows furrowed and a frown was beginning to set on his face.

“Of course I am.”

Charles looked genuinely shocked to hear that.

“Oh. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to sound like an ass it’s just…you aren’t wearing your ring.”

Arthur had forgotten too. He hadn’t worn it long enough for there to be a noticeable difference when his finger was barren. It was still in his pocket, tucked away in there somewhere, probably made with an alarm that would alert Dutch to every time he took it off. Arthur flexed his hand, his fingers curling into a fist and then sprawled flat. Still ringless.

“Took it off at work…forgot to put it back on is all.”

“Aren’t you going to put it on now?”

“Do _you_ want me to?”

Arthur wasn’t sure why he said it so harshly, or why that question bothered him so much but what hurt more was the way Charles blanched at the retort, and broke eye contact.

“I’m sorry.”

It was the most agonizing two minutes of anxiety that he finally ruined the only real connection he had before Charles spoke again.

“…It’s okay.”

Arthur wasn’t too sure which part Charles was okay with, but he still didn’t move to put the ring on. Ring alert be damned.

“Look, I really don’t mean to pry, okay? It’s just…I’m worried about you and John and I don’t think Dutch should be the thing that comes in between you two.”

Arthur prickled at that again, a defense mechanism he’s suddenly realized. Charles was right though, and a part of Arthur thought that maybe that’s what got him so worked up in the first place. He offered a small, tired, peaceful smile.

“When he comes back, I’ll have a talk with him. Or, I’ll try to talk to him.”

“Don’t do this for me, do it for you guys.”

Arthur started fidgeting with the corner of the throw pillow that was now back in his lap, nervous as all hell about the several outcomes of what could happen. Charles got up and went into the kitchen, coming back out with two cups of water at the same time John and Javier started coming back. Javier had just finished the end of what sounded like a crazy story and John was about to piss himself from laughter. Copper came leaping back into the house and right over to Charles, who held his cup of water high over the hound’s head so that he couldn’t knock it out of his hand.

“Copper! Copper come on, sit down!”

Copper was hearing none of it. Clearly the walk was an invigorating one and Copper wanted to let his owner know all about it. Arthur laughed at the scene, pausing to take a sip of his water. Javier and John settled back in their spots and it was almost like they never left. Charles had finally got Copper to calm down, and after taking a heavy gulp of his water, nearly clearing the cup in one go, he whistled for Javier’s attention. Arthur knew all too well what they were about to do.

“Javi…you ready for round…round…what round is it?”

“Who cares, it’s time for another one!”

Charles rolled his eyes but let his friend start first up the stairs. Javier turned around and looked back at Arthur.

“You coming?”

Arthur smiled and shook his head.

“You guys start without me. I’ll be up there in a minute.”

The two smiled and started walking up the stairs. When they were gone, Arthur turned his attention back to John, who was soon focused back on his avatar, Copper asleep next to him. It was almost like those two knew each other for years. Arthur sighed, knowing that what came next wasn’t easy, but he had to do it. It wasn’t going to do either of them good if they continued on this way. So he got up and he moved to sit next to his little brother who, thankfully, didn’t go up in arms at their proximity.

“Hey, John?”

Arthur was waiting for the answer that never came, or the answer that did come but was harsh and unwilling to entertain him past the response.

“Yes, Arthur?”

And just like before, Arthur thanked the marvel that was the Xbox for softening up his brother in a way he couldn’t before.

“I’m sorry about…about that night. I really didn’t know Dutch were gonna do that, propose to me.”

Arthur was being very careful, like he was trying to defuse an active bomb. So far he was doing well.

“If I knew before of course I would’ve told you. You my little brother, I love you and you the most important person in my life. Even if I knew he were going to do it…you know I ain’t about to move in with him. I ain’t leaving you, John.”

The TV made less noise now that John’s furious scrolling calmed down significantly.

“You still took the ring.”

“Because Dutch told me to! There weren’t much choice for me in the moment. We was drawing a crowd and Dutch weren’t trying to be embarrassed so he…he told me to put the ring on, look I don’t even got it on now.”

John turned and looked at Arthur’s naked fingers.

“Truth is…well, I ain’t too sure I want to even marry him. I got you and I’m good with that and I hope…well I hope you feel the same. I missed you, Johnny. I missed talking with you.”

John put the controller down and sighed. He got on his knees and looked Arthur real hard in his eyeballs. Arthur waited patiently for whatever John was going to throw his way, even braced himself for the controller that was probably going to be hurled at him.

What he didn’t prepare himself for was the arms that wrapped around him. John was hugging him, and it felt like ages since the last time he’d done it. Arthur didn’t hesitate to return the hug. He nearly wept.

“I’m sorry, I love you too Arthur.”

Arthur beamed and kissed him on the top of his head. The two hugged for moment longer before breaking apart and letting John getting back to his game. Arthur figured that since they were on speaking terms again, he could finally ask John about that game he loves so much.

“John…tell me more about them monsters you and Javier was killing in that game.”

“Which ones?”

Arthur shrugged, just happy to finally be able to talk to his brother again.

“Them big tall ones that Javier couldn’t kill.”

“Oh! Those are called endermen and they only attack you when they---”

This makes the first time Arthur was able to make John smile today. Another tally to the list. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope everyone is staying safe and healthy!


End file.
